Looking for a Sugar Daddy

[MrMiniver]

So I answered a backpage ad looking for a sugar daddy and this is the response I got. One of the most bizarre ever.

 

"To make a long story short. My income got fucked up. I cant take out a loan because i never owned a credit card and i dont have anybody who is willing to co sign for me. I need 500 by Thursday.Really tomorrow but Thursday is the definite deadline. I dont have any money at all to atleast try and invest it in a quick flip. My morals wont let me rob or hurt somebody to get it. Over the summer i had a gay friend in his 40s who past away. He kept givin me money for no reason even when i told him to stop. He told me that he just liked the fact that he can be himself around me and didnt have to act any different because i was straight and that he only kept giving me money was so ill always be straight. Thats what made me think of this ad as a last resort to get the money. I figured older men just want the company of a younger one and wouldn't mind giving the money if they had it. Thats why i used the term sugar daddy. Um comfortable with my sexuality and a non judgemental person so I can hang around homosexuals without feeling uncomfortable...With that being said. If your interested in helping. Understand you will not get any sex out of it. I do know clean homosexuals i can hook you up with if thats what your looking for. The benefit you get if you choose to help out is making a new friend who can help you increase your income. The only reason I cant help myself is because i dont have any funds to get started. I just need a pic me up. But to answer your question i am in good shape. I ride horses. "

[robberbaron4u]

Sweet potato pie and hush my mouth! Do you have a name and address whereby I can send money to this "find"?

[caliguy]

"a non judgemental person so I can hang around homosexuals without feeling uncomfortable."

 

Wow. Who knew a straight in shape guy (he rides horses) could hang around us "clean homosexuals" and not feel completely repulsed. Sounds like a real keeper that one.

[Brian Kevin]

He kept givin me money for no reason even when

 

Who wrote this though? Their grammar is far worst than mine.

[Brian Kevin]

Um comfortable with my sexuality and a non judgemental person so I can hang around homosexuals without feeling uncomfortable.

 

Wait what?????????????? double negative, so he is uncomfortable then??????? Where's someone edumacated? @AdamSmith ??

[AdamSmith]

Wait what?????????????? double negative, so he is uncomfortable then??????? Where's someone edumacated? @AdamSmith ??

Just an English major here.

 

That dude needs a shrinkola.

 

Or, anybody taking him up on his offer does.

[DonaldTramp]

Please give me his contact information.

[Edward]

We have worked hard and saved so we owe these young people and we should give them what we have. Oh, they wont be judgemental. I find this the attitude of some young people. They think at 50 you won't need anything. Oh really. I would like to give this young guy a swift kick in the ass and tell him to grow-up.

[+ FreshFluff]

"To make a long story short. My income got fucked up. I cant take out a loan because i never owned a credit card and i dont have anybody who is willing to co sign for me. I need 500 by Thursday.Really tomorrow but Thursday is the definite deadline. I dont have any money at all to atleast try and invest it in a quick flip. My morals wont let me rob or hurt somebody to get it. Over the summer i had a gay friend in his 40s who past away. He kept givin me money for no reason even when i told him to stop. He told me that he just liked the fact that he can be himself around me and didnt have to act any different because i was straight and that he only kept giving me money was so ill always be straight.

 

I like the idea of someone who keeps the kitten iced and furred so "so ill always be straight." If that's you, you have Fluffy's word: I'll stay as straight as an arrow.

 

I did consider robbing you, but my morals wouldn't allow it.

Edited December 17, 2015 by FreshFluff

[BgMstr4u]

"My morals won't let me rob or hurt somebody to get it." What a truly sensitive soul. Deeply Thoughtful about the whole moral/ethical thing. They won't let him do it, but apparently they will let him ponder it, and let you know he's considered the option.

 

And if he's such an ace at making money, why hasn't he already done so with the help of his generous friend, now unfortunately deceased?

 

And he knows clean homosexuals he can put you in touch with, if that's what you want. That IS a rare gift indeed. Not everyone knows where to go to find them, apparently. He can guide you in your search.

 

And don't forget the horses.

 

I can't help myself. This is just too funny.

Edited December 17, 2015 by BgMstr4u

[bigvalboy]

Now....

 

Next time...

 

Edited December 17, 2015 by bigvalboy

[MrMiniver]

I had no idea whether to laugh or to cry because obviously the guy has serious issues. I asked for a picture out of curiousity. He sent a pic of fully clothed black guy on a horse. It was sad. I asked for a shirtless pic and he said "I'm not going to go out like that. If you need a shirtless pic then find someone else. Good luck in yo search."

 

I sure would like to meet me some of dem "clean homosexuals."

[robberbaron4u]

!!!ALL U OLD QUEENS R SOOO JUDGMENTAL!!! I pray all a merry holiday season and a happy and prosperous new year. RB

[caliguy]

I had no idea whether to laugh or to cry because obviously the guy has serious issues. I asked for a picture out of curiousity. He sent a pic of fully clothed black guy on a horse. It was sad. I asked for a shirtless pic and he said "I'm not going to go out like that. If you need a shirtless pic then find someone else. Good luck in yo search."

 

I sure would like to meet me some of dem "clean homosexuals."

When someone claims to be in shape like going to the gym or in his case riding horses then you can believe 100% that their totally out of shape. An action does not represent a level of fitness. Ok maybe a pole dancer or professional skier might. fully dressed on a horse ..meh.

[AdamSmith]

When someone claims to be in shape like going to the gym or in his case riding horses then you can believe 100% that their totally out of shape. An action does not represent a level of fitness. Ok maybe a pole dancer or professional skier might. fully dressed on a horse ..meh.

Right! In the 18th century going out for a jostling ride in the carriage after a meal was considered exercise.

[Tonyko]

So I answered a backpage ad looking for a sugar daddy \"

Hey my Grandfather offered to pay ME to help keep me straight so....it aint so far outta the realm. (it was after he saw me as Hugo in Bye Bye Byrdie and more like here's money to take out a nice "girl", but the same idea. Is it too priv to ask what State this is in?? (only Eastern Euro transplants say "homosexual" here in NY.

[BgMstr4u]

Perhaps Accra or Lagos?

[+ Gar1eth]

Wait what?????????????? double negative, so he is uncomfortable then??????? Where's someone edumacated? @AdamSmith ??

 

Actually he was basically correct. There aren't any double negatives. 'Um' was a typo for "I'm" not a typo for 'UN'.

 

Gman

[+ augustus]

File this under A for Arrogance.

[AdamSmith]

File this under A for Arrogance.

Actually several "A" words come to mind.

[Brian Kevin]

"A"

 

Applebees ?

[AdamSmith]

Applebees ?

LMAO That's worse than anything I was thinking.

[+ glennnn]

I choose to believe this is a joke, because it would just be too sad to think that someone was actually living through a scenario like that. (Although I am highly interested in learning more about those clean homosexuals, knowing how rare they are these days.

[RussJohnson]

It's a very strange what straight guys think "homosexuals" will do with their money but it explains a lot of homophobia. I knew a guy in a similar situation desperate for money and I think he said he would give a fully clothed back massage and then you could watch him. I nearly did laughing and advised him that he could make a lot more money by even just showing some skin but that was too much for him, like where's the line? so weird...

[samhexum]

Looking for a Sugar Daddy

Mogul was plied with alcohol, drugs by cheating husband in last days: suit

 

 

The final days of the Manhattan mogul who made a fortune selling idyllic Snow Babies and Dickens Villages were a hazy, alcohol-soaked nightmare because of his grifter husband, the late millionaire’s family charges.

 

Edward Bazinet, 73, who made as much as $100 million selling holiday figurines, was plied nightly with booze and drugs by Brett Jordan, who was 43 years younger and cheated on him regularly during their mere months as a wedded couple, according to the Manhattan Surrogate’s Court filing.

 

Jordan “used Bazinet and he abused Bazinet, all while indulging himself in luxuries and wealth unimaginable to the boy from Tennessee who had often told stories . . . of a childhood steeped in abject poverty and abuse,” Bazinet’s family charges.

 

Bazinet’s relatives have been battling Jordan over the businessman’s $54 million estate, most of which was set to go to a Minnesota trust before Jordan entered Bazinet’s life.

 

Now Jordan, a real estate broker who also netted hefty commissions by buying apartments with his spouse, stands to inherit $32 million.

 

The secret November 2017 nuptials were a “premeditated . . . scheme to defraud Bazinet,” the family alleges.

 

Relatives charge Jordan made his true feelings clear in texts to friends, writing, “I HATE HIM,” while complaining about the older man’s incontinence and declining mobility.

 

A lawyer for Jordan called the “spurious” allegations “a malicious smear campaign.”