Clients Who Speak Explicitly

[hunterlee]

I get a little nervous and shy away from clients (who I have never met) who speak vulgarly explicit over text/email/calls.

 

Versus somebody who only request a time and place. Sometimes they tell me about themselves, hobbies, interests in life and what is going on in their life that has prompted them into contacting me. I usually don't hesitate to set up an appoitnment.

 

What is your take on this?

 

Maybe i'm too high-strung?

[mattr]

I guess it depends on what you consider vulgar and explicit. If the person makes you feel disrespected or unsafe, then I would shy away. However, as a client, I like to get some idea what is possible during our session.

[+ beethoven]

A client has the right to know what to expect, and to ask a masseur or escort questions. However, we can ask without being vulgar or obscene, and I think that Hunter Lee is right to object to that.

[+ glennnn]

• The common wisdom on the forum is for clients to be honest and clear about what they are seeking to avoid misunderstandings with their escorts. A specific example is the issue of whether an escort will climax during the session. This happens to be very important to me. It is not an automatic deal breaker, but since my pleasure is providing his pleasure I WiLL ask the question, "Will you cum?", before I make the date! I don't mean to be vulgar or disrespectful, but we are discussing sex here and the down low, very personal chat is a very intimate and hot part of it for me. I cant afford to hire often, and want to be very clear about the session.
  
• May I ask if the OP has an ad? Does it specify cock size and services available? Is this not vulgar and explicit? Maybe I just don't understand the issue. I think sex talk is inherently vulgar. Its FUCKING!
  

[adannyboy]

Pretty sure he's referring to the link to $ex when we're screening y'all.

Always gotta think about LE.

[sincitymix]

Pretty sure he's referring to the link to $ex when we're screening y'all.

Always gotta think about LE.

kind of hard when the escort says tell me what you want in detail, I do and hes.. your being way to explicit.

its like geeze.. so next escort says that and I dance around the subject via interpretive dance through words... yeah that didn't turn out to well either

[+ glennnn]

I just reread what I wrote and I don't want to make light of Hunterlee's concerns. I think perhaps I don't understand his standard for vulgarity and obscenity. Could we have an example? It is hard to evaluate the issue the other wise.

[adannyboy]

some of y'all make sex so complicated.

[tanman4u]

As was discussed on the thread about the changes on A4A's Pro listing (no more escorts and info on dick size, positions, safe sex, etc) about the only way to figure out that you're hiring an escort vs masseur would be to ask specific questions or state explicit wants.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I always appreciate when I client is forward and open about what they enjoy and what they would like to explore during our session, however if the conversation begins feeling like phone sex, it's a red flag.

 

Also, when they ask me questions that are answered in my ad or website, it makes me doubt that they are serious. I also won't send additional pics to a new client, there are over 30 on my ad and even more on my site.

[jackjackjack]

As was discussed on the thread about the changes on A4A's Pro listing (no more escorts and info on dick size, positions, safe sex, etc) about the only way to figure out that you're hiring an escort vs masseur would be to ask specific questions or state explicit wants.

 

Totally agree with Tanman. There are things that I like/want with my meeting and things I don't like/want. And I want to make sure, best I can, if the escort is interested in me. I usually text and don't hide behind email. But if I get responses from escorts like a dollar amount... $250 and no other verbiage or he says I don't discuss things ahead of time, or other non replies, I pass. I may figure he'd be a dud. I need to have some sense that we're compatible. And escorts who say contact me just an hour before you want to meet, that's bizarre. I travel, I'm around other people.... I have to plan ahead.

Now, I understand that there are people that just waste escorts time but there are escorts who waste our time and MONEY.

[Guest countryboywny]

A rule of thumb that I always follow in communication with an escort is NEVER, NEVER discuss money and sex in the same sentence. Any discussion of money is related to buying his TIME. Any discussion of sex is purely what we like.

[AdamSmith]

Puns about dicktion...

[Edward]

I guess I am just blunt after not receiving the service I expected. I may ask: Straight or gay? Top or bottom? Kissing, cuddling, oral and anal? If the escort says he doesn't discuss these topics I move on. There are some guys that do provide these services. I know I have met escorts that say they are straight and I believe them to be gay. I believe most escorts that say they are bi are mostly straight.

[hunterlee]

I guess it depends on what you consider vulgar and explicit. If the person makes you feel disrespected or unsafe, then I would shy away. However, as a client, I like to get some idea what is possible during our session.

 

I agree!

 

A client has the right to know what to expect, and to ask a masseur or escort questions. However, we can ask without being vulgar or obscene, and I think that Hunter Lee is right to object to that.

 

I agree as well, thank you!

 

• The common wisdom on the forum is for clients to be honest and clear about what they are seeking to avoid misunderstandings with their escorts. A specific example is the issue of whether an escort will climax during the session. This happens to be very important to me. It is not an automatic deal breaker, but since my pleasure is providing his pleasure I WiLL ask the question, "Will you cum?", before I make the date! I don't mean to be vulgar or disrespectful, but we are discussing sex here and the down low, very personal chat is a very intimate and hot part of it for me. I cant afford to hire often, and want to be very clear about the session.
  
• May I ask if the OP has an ad? Does it specify cock size and services available? Is this not vulgar and explicit? Maybe I just don't understand the issue. I think sex talk is inherently vulgar. Its FUCKING!
  

 

I understand you want to know what you are getting before you hire because you don't hire often you want to be clear.

 

To answer you question, yes I do have an ad, it does specify cock size, and it does describe my services. However my services are only for my time!

[hunterlee]

Pretty sure he's referring to the link to $ex when we're screening y'all.

Always gotta think about LE.

 

:-)

 

kind of hard when the escort says tell me what you want in detail, I do and hes.. your being way to explicit.

its like geeze.. so next escort says that and I dance around the subject via interpretive dance through words... yeah that didn't turn out to well either

 

Battle of our tongues.

 

I just reread what I wrote and I don't want to make light of Hunterlee's concerns. I think perhaps I don't understand his standard for vulgarity and obscenity. Could we have an example? It is hard to evaluate the issue the other wise.

 

I agree,

 

Examples of language I do not accept nor tolerate.

 

"will you bottom for x amount of dollar"

 

"will you top for x amount of dollars"

 

"how much extra would it cost for you to get off"

 

"how much extra for x specific sexual act"

 

Bottom line, I don't offer sexual services for money, goods, or exchange of services.

 

"how much extra would it cost to hold me at knife point by my neck" (I will note this one is not illegal to do, however I was spooked out by the request however they did tell me what they wanted before we met up)

 

some of y'all make sex so complicated.

 

lol

[hunterlee]

As was discussed on the thread about the changes on A4A's Pro listing (no more escorts and info on dick size, positions, safe sex, etc) about the only way to figure out that you're hiring an escort vs masseur would be to ask specific questions or state explicit wants.

 

Yes, Ive noticed the change. I can understand the confusion.

 

I always appreciate when I client is forward and open about what they enjoy and what they would like to explore during our session, however if the conversation begins feeling like phone sex, it's a red flag.

 

Also, when they ask me questions that are answered in my ad or website, it makes me doubt that they are serious. I also won't send additional pics to a new client, there are over 30 on my ad and even more on my site.

 

I agree, no phone sex! I like your website

 

Totally agree with Tanman. There are things that I like/want with my meeting and things I don't like/want. And I want to make sure, best I can, if the escort is interested in me. I usually text and don't hide behind email. But if I get responses from escorts like a dollar amount... $250 and no other verbiage or he says I don't discuss things ahead of time, or other non replies, I pass. I may figure he'd be a dud. I need to have some sense that we're compatible. And escorts who say contact me just an hour before you want to meet, that's bizarre. I travel, I'm around other people.... I have to plan ahead.

Now, I understand that there are people that just waste escorts time but there are escorts who waste our time and MONEY.

 

I prefer planned appointments, my schedule is very appointment orientated since I have a day job as well. I agree there are people vise versa who waste people's time and money.

 

A rule of thumb that I always follow in communication with an escort is NEVER, NEVER discuss money and sex in the same sentence. Any discussion of money is related to buying his TIME. Any discussion of sex is purely what we like.

 

Maybe I am just high strung, I shy away when discussion of sex gets brought up. I think my past life i was a nun .

 

Puns about dicktion...

 

hahahaha, witty!

 

I guess I am just blunt after not receiving the service I expected. I may ask: Straight or gay? Top or bottom? Kissing, cuddling, oral and anal? If the escort says he doesn't discuss these topics I move on. There are some guys that do provide these services. I know I have met escorts that say they are straight and I believe them to be gay. I believe most escorts that say they are bi are mostly straight.

 

I guess you would move on from me , Unfortunately I do not provide sexual services!

 

Not necessarily a label is a label. I've met "straight" guys where we had a lot of chemistry and I've met "gay" guys where we had no chemistry.

Would this make that "straight" guy gay if we had chemistry or that "gay" guy straight if we had no chemistry.

 

I believe in free love love or make love to whoever's soul makes you happy.

[Juan Vancouver]

I think the important thing here is semantics. What is vulgarity?

 

Sex to me is not vulgar. It is a beautiful expression of human intimacy. If I am going to spend time with someone I would like to know what is it that this someone enjoys. I am not selling sex acts or bodily fluids, but I want to get an idea of whether we are compatible and whether we would have fun together or not. For me it is important to be able to ascertain that as best as I can before I accept spending time with someone.

 

When I ask "What do you enjoy?" and I get a response like: "normal things", "what all your clients like", "nothing out of the ordinary", "you know.... sex". I am unable to get a feel. Not to mention that sometimes it is the guy who responded "Normal things" the one that asks you to kick his cat hard on the face, then take a dump on the skillet and cook him a patty. Had he said that on the phone, I would have known we have nothing to do hanging out together.

 

My favourite responses sound like: "I am a very sensual guy, like intimacy and fun, love sucking cock, or bottoming or topping, really into kissing, ...." You get my drift.

 

My very least favourite responses are: "You will enter my house and disrobe upon arrival, will get yourself throbbing and writhing with passion will come to the bedroom to play with my blood engorged nips while you recite verses from the Ilyad in ancient Greek, then you will entangle your wet tongue with my hard, probing tongue, till we are both spasming in a cathartic puddle of our own endorphin laced juices...." I am sure you get my drift.

 

When I get someone like this I stop them right then and say that I am not into hot talk in any way, that I am only good in the flesh. More often than not, the ones who only want hot talk will hang up without saying anything else.

 

An ideal client for me is one who is comfortable with the whole process, who doesn't shy away to talk about himself, who won't use euphemisms such as pee pee or "We will do the act", and who will be willing and able to talk about our mutual likes and boundaries. I know right then, that he will be also communicative and respectful during the session.

 

Intimacy and relationships demand us to be able to communicate. If one wants to have sex, one has to be adult enough to talk about it.

[jackjackjack]

some of y'all make sex so complicated.

 

Adannyboy, you are very straight forward in your thinking and I like that but here's my take. I think at one level, guys who hire, sometimes, like me, do make things a little complicated. When I was young and kind of a hottie like you (and I'm sure a lot of guys on here in their youth were hot).... haha.... .it was easy to hook up...not a lot of questions, just do it... if it was hot sex, great and if not, no problem, easy to find another. I guess as we get older and do hire, we just want things to go right when we meet, since maybe sex is not as easy to come by now and obviously we're paying money. That's why maybe we ask a few more questions. We know what we like and if an escort says he can supply that like and he doesn't, it sucks.

[+ Truereview]

I think there are two issues on the OP and that's why it got confusing: vulgarity (the use of specific sexual terms) and legality (inserting $ into the vulgarity which puts both client and escort at risk). My read on this is that @hunterlee is indeed more concerned with the latter, but I can't help but feel he is also turned off by the former. Personally, I think we all have different sensibilities and in a client-provider transaction or relationship, both parties should carefully and gently feel each other out. Actually, this is the part of the hiring process that excites me the most...getting to know a stranger and discovering each other's boundaries and trigger points but within the realm of fun and connectivity (human connection, that is). This dance is cool to me...otherwise, it is just too robotic. Lord, who spiked me kawfee this morning?

[RussJohnson]

I don't think I've ever been with a client who was "vulgar", some have been explicit and detailed in asking what they want, but the vulgar phone sex ones never pan out. When people have request and need details it is always in a different conversation from rates.

[ChrisWydeman]

When asked "what are you into? lean over and whisper in their ear, "bricks of gold and shares of Google"

[big-n-tall]

In general... I'm not vulgar. Occasionally, I will say explicit things as part of the lead up to meeting, but this only with guys I've seen a number of times and only the ones who play the game back. I will say there is one of the retired guys I see loves loves loves when I send him random dirty texts. We sext back and forth often. This however is a kind of a different subject than what the op was asking.

[adannyboy]

In general... I'm not vulgar. Occasionally, I will say explicit things as part of the lead up to meeting, but this only with guys I've seen a number of times and only the ones who play the game back. I will say there is one of the retired guys I see loves loves loves when I send him random dirty texts. We sext back and forth often. This however is a kind of a different subject than what the op was asking.

 

After the first meet, all of the sexts and snapchats are available.

[down_to_business]

In general(not always) a police officer, peace office, law enforcement person is the least likely to be explicit or vulgar in their dealings with you. In fact, if I met someone who would never even speak a bad word, would never be anything but polite, refused to even give me a little kiss - the first thing I would think is oh crap I'm with a cop!