411 on Dakota, Annapolis, are these picts real?

[marylander1940]

Its unfortunate that dakota doesn't service all races but you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. Yeah it may sound harsh when he puts "no blacks" in his profile but its his profile and at least he's telling you its not a good fit so you avoid wasting your time.. Use that anger if what he writes frustrates you and hire more minorities then, we'll appreciate it

 

Even more business for someone as easygoing as you!

 

You should visit Annapolis!

[Kenny]

You obviously missed my point. While you might think you've just been fucked by your attorney when you see his bill, he can pick his clients based on the case. Given the type of work escorts do, I don't have a problem with any of them refusing to take me as a client if we're not a good fit. And by good fit, I include age, weight, race, etc.

No, I didn't "obviously miss" your point. You didn't make your point. Of course a lawyer can pick his clients based on the case. The thread discussion is race, though, and you were making a phony argument about "personal, customized services." And you still are, with the "good fit" comment. Lawyer: "I can't take your case because we're not a good fit. You're black."

 

In United States federal anti-discrimination law, a protected class is a characteristic of a person which cannot be targeted for discrimination. "Good fit" or no fit. Civil Rights Act of 1964.

[JDXXX]

Its unfortunate that dakota doesn't service all races but you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. Yeah it may sound harsh when he puts "no blacks" in his profile but its his profile and at least he's telling you its not a good fit so you avoid wasting your time.. Use that anger if what he writes frustrates you and hire more minorities then, we'll appreciate it

 

I agree, Dom and can understand your frustration behind this matter - Being of an African-American (who happens to be of an escort) it offends me deeply indeed that an escort would discriminate towards minorities. It's very sad, but I do hope one day his views about black people will change as no one I don't care what race you are is better then any race as we as people are all the same in this world.

 

Maybe from this post members here on the forum can deeply realize from this experience that being Black still is a struggle in America seeing how we're judged, rejected or persecuted in some way, shape or form. Just cause the world puts us to shame for being what God made us, don't mean we have to accept such needless shame from others.

 

However, I glad there are people on the forum and outside of the forum who are more "open-minded" and not see a persons color as a reason to interact or be as equal as they are. I know I'm one of them as I too see people as people, and NOT judge them by the color of they're skin for me to interact with that special person I may wanna know socially or sexually.

 

Why limit yourself being you can enjoy peoples company in ALL races? Just doesn't make any sense at all whatsoever, and we as escorts need to be more open-minded then this as I feel sorry for this young man viewing Blacks in a negative way by not taking Black clients, and to state harshly "No Blacks". Very upsetting to see in the escorting community in today society being how WE as gay people are also discriminated and here who have Gays discriminating towards each other. I mean - Come on - Really? It's mindboggling to me on how hypocritical that is to wanna fight to have equal rights as Gay people, but discriminate towards someone else who's a different skin color then you. Wow. Unbelievable.

 

It's ashame see an escort/professional have such "rules" when it comes to race, but it's his decision, his business, his life, and we need to respect his choice whether we like it or not. He may judge me or other Black people, but I will not take upon myself to judge him of what he is which is a human being, and not just a White guy. There is more to him(just like the rest of us) then him just being another hot White guy. I'm sure behind the surface he's a cool guy to be with all the way around. Based on his post I read - he seems to be down-to-earth with a sense-of-humor which is good to see how he interacts socially. Just wish the "No Blacks" situation wasn't of a limitation for him. .

[jjkrkwood]

Its unfortunate that dakota doesn't service all races but you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. Yeah it may sound harsh when he puts "no blacks" in his profile but its his profile and at least he's telling you its not a good fit so you avoid wasting your time.. Use that anger if what he writes frustrates you and hire more minorities then, we'll appreciate it

 

 

 

In the other thread on this very same topic about the client that showed up at the escorts door, only to have the escort tell him he does not usuallyn engage black clients because they are always troublesome for him, BUT he will go thru will the meet up because the client didnt sound American, You all dumped on the escort and criticized him for not putting his preferences in his ad. But here we are with an escort that did put in preferences in his ad, and your panties are still in a twist or the mere reason he doesnt want intimacy with men of color. Get over it already guys. Anybody could and should have sex ONLY with those they want to, and your criticisms of that are just bullshit. Leave the guys alone. Its their lives and their bodies. I find it ridiculous that Anyone should have Anything to say about how a person uses their body. Enough.!

[stop]

 

Maybe from this post members here on the forum can deeply realize from this experience that being Black still is a struggle in America seeing how we're judged, rejected or persecuted in some way, shape or form. Just cause the world puts us to shame for being what God made us, don't mean we have to accept such needless shame from others.

 

JD I couldn't' agree with you more and I do hope this opens a few peoples hearts and minds.

[biggerbilly]

First, like I've said before "no blacks" is racist, not a racial preference. A racial preference is, "I tend to prefer white guys, but a cute black or Asian guy will do tonight!" No ____ race what so ever is racist.

 

Now that I've gotten that out there, here's where I defend Dakota. While I disagree with him 100%, I rather he say it out loud and be upfront with it. For the same reason I justified the existence of that thread jjkrkwood mentioned. I want to know where someone stands before I end up scheduling an appointment; spend hours getting ready; driving or commuting for over an hour or more, only to get a door slammed in my face. I much prefer being mad at an ad or a thread post, then a person standing right in front of me.

 

When this thread first came up, I was as mad as a lot of people on here. It pissed me off that this thinking still exist. But, I got over it. And I know I got over this because when this thread came back, I had know idea who Dakota was. And when I click on his profile, I realized I had already blocked him. So Dakota good luck to you. Hopefully someday you'll learn to be a more open person, but if not, so be it. I'll go back to blocking you from my world.

Edited April 2, 2016 by biggerbilly

[amused1]

As a service provider right of refusal is a given. Why a provider sets limits is his domain. May it lose him income, maybe. Better to be up front rather than lose potential income by booking and then refusing. JMO

[jjkrkwood]

you directing this at me lol, I was actually defending him

 

No not at you. At all the negative comments directed AT him for his choices. These people need to just let it fucking Go.

[bigvalboy]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9uj9oTOMw1qjp4z6o1_500.gif

[mattr]

Dakota is hot... I can't say I agree with his stance on blacks, but I applaud his ability to read the forum comments and respond without rancor or defensiveness. Of and I wouldn't a couple of hours of sweaty sex with him. Do you think I could eat his jock ass?

[Kenny]

As a service provider right of refusal is a given.

 

No, it's not. Or do you just patronize "Whites only" restaurants?

 

No shoes, no shirt, no service -- fine. No blacks/Jews/Asians/etc. -- see you in court.

[adventurous old guy]

Where/how did you find MY picture??????

LOL.

 

Appreciated this silly moment in an intense back and forth. Thanks Will.

 

Dakota, like several others I give you credit for reading this stuff, chilling and not responding defensively. I do hope one of your take-aways is to see just how POWERFUL words can be, in this case your words! I think that's because they trigger feelings and memories. Maybe you didn't intend to hurt feelings, just state a preference openly and honestly. In your ad, you describe yourself as a nice guy and I give you that benefit of the doubt. But in a country where there is as much racism as here, words can hurt even when that's not the intent.

 

Sorry if this sounds sort of parental. You haven't asked for advice -- who the hell am I to offer it, right? I get that. This is just a hope that you think about your words as you go about your business because my gut feel is that you truly are a nice guy.

 

Now I'm going to take Will's advice here and transition to another thread!

Edited April 2, 2016 by adventurous old guy

[Strafe13]

http://www.towleroad.com/2016/03/michael-sam-2/

 

The latest issue of Attitude magazine seems so appropriate here.

 

Michael Sam appears on the cover of Attitude‘s May issue and talks to the magazine about coming out, racism, and homophobia. Speaking about racism in the ‘gay community’, Sam says,

 

“It’s terrible. ...You want to be accepted by other people but you don’t even accept someone just because of the colour of their skin? I just don’t understand that at all. How are you saying that, ‘oh, I want people to accept me because I’m gay but I don’t accept you because you’re black, or because you’re white or because you’re Asian’."

[jjkrkwood]

http://www.towleroad.com/2016/03/michael-sam-2/

 

The latest issue of Attitude magazine seems so appropriate here.

 

Michael Sam appears on the cover of Attitude‘s May issue and talks to the magazine about coming out, racism, and homophobia. Speaking about racism in the ‘gay community’, Sam says,

 

“It’s terrible. ...You want to be accepted by other people but you don’t even accept someone just because of the colour of their skin? I just don’t understand that at all. How are you saying that, ‘oh, I want people to accept me because I’m gay but I don’t accept you because you’re black, or because you’re white or because you’re Asian’."

 

"Acceptance" of a person has a much broader definition.... I dont understand WHY you people dont get it. You can accept a person, be ok with them politically, socially, spiritually etc, but you just may not want to be physically intimate with them. Just because you ACCEPT a person shouldnt make it Mandatory for you to want SEX with them. And that's the fuckin bottom line here. And this has absolutely nothing to do with being GAY. Being GAY doesnt mean that you fuck EVERYTHING that lives and breathes. Stop telling people where they should stick their dicks.....!

[Dakota]

LOL.

 

Appreciated this silly moment in an intense back and forth. Thanks Will.

 

Dakota, like several others I give you credit for reading this stuff, chilling and not responding defensively. I do hope one of your take-aways is to see just how POWERFUL words can be, in this case your words! I think that's because they trigger feelings and memories. Maybe you didn't intend to hurt feelings, just state a preference openly and honestly. In your ad, you describe yourself as a nice guy and I give you that benefit of the doubt. But in a country where there is as much racism as here, words can hurt even when that's not the intent.

 

Sorry if this sounds sort of parental. You haven't asked for advice -- who the hell am I to offer it, right? I get that. This is just a hope that you think about your words as you go about your business because my gut feel is that you truly are a nice guy.

 

Now I'm going to take Will's advice here and transition to another thread!

I appreciate it I enjoy reading your responses and totally understand what you mean

[+ Truereview]

"Acceptance" of a person has a much broader definition.... I dont understand WHY you people dont get it. You can accept a person, be ok with them politically, socially, spiritually etc, but you just may not want to be physically intimate with them. Just because you ACCEPT a person shouldnt make it Mandatory for you to want SEX with them. And that's the fuckin bottom line here. And this has absolutely nothing to do with being GAY. Being GAY doesnt mean that you fuck EVERYTHING that lives and breathes. Stop telling people where they should stick their dicks.....!

Ok, my friend, you are stuck on SEX. Just bc you choose to believe this forum should be all about dick and escorts, it doesn't make it so. That aspect is fun, but frankly, it gets tedious after a while. My observation is that your heels have dug into "this forum is all about sex." The forum has changed - whether you like it or not. Could you give me the benefit of suspending the sex & race cards in this thread for a second here and think about two other words instead? The words are intent & impact.

 

I'm going to choose to believe that Dakota had the best of intentions by frankly & honestly stating his preference to not be contacted by Black clients. Maybe his intent was to be transparent, save himself & clients awkwardness based on whatever experience, preference, bias he may have. Yes, it could be that Dakota is a racist, but let's not make negative assumptions, and instead focus on the impact of his exclusionary statement: No Black guys please.

 

Man, that statement stings. It evokes so many memories when I've seen women, LGBT, and other minorities be bypassed for services or recognition bc of who they are. Man, that statement hurts bc I've seen white men be shunned and made scapegoats for systematic & institutional racism in America. Man, that statement has negative impact on me & others bc it is a bitter reminder of how uncivil yet negatively PC we've become in our good country. JJK...none of what I said has to do with sex. Unbeknownst to Dakota, his statement awakens pain, shame, anger, fear, grandstanding, and so much more.

 

I'm going to choose to believe what Dakota doesn't realize is the painful impact his statement has on the entire client base - not just on Black clients. His overt statement hurts (in different levels of pain) the very client base he is trying to appeal to. Consciously and subconsciously, the impact of his exclusionary statement will plague the clients and the cool experience Dakota is trying to create. This is not about who you choose to sleep with, this is about the enormous emotional impact language and words have. Let's not undermine that.

 

Now, @Dakota, I don't want you to reconsider your biases or preferences - that's your baggage to deal with. I do hope you reconsider the pain and impact you are (perhaps unknowingly) creating on many of us who would be prospects. Your statement (no black guys please) hurts. I choose to believe that was not your intent, but that's the impact. Give it some thought. Respectfully, -TR

[UconnFlyer]

While I don't agree with Dakota's sentiment, here's a different spin. If Dakota had written, "no women" would we be chastising him just the same? Technically, a woman could use RM to hire escorts. So are escorts on RM obliged to serve women? If they refuse, are they sexists? Are they putting women down for refusing to serve them?

 

I totally understand why his note has struck such a raw nerve and I can totally understand why people are justifiably offended. However, I'm not sure the rules of discrimination that we can apply to lawyers, doctors, etc necessarily work for escorts. For an escort to be good at his/her job, they have to establish a chemistry with their client. If the chemistry isn't there, there's a good chance the client won't be happy. Attraction is part of that chemistry, though certainly not the only thing.

[Kenny]

While I don't agree with Dakota's sentiment, here's a different spin. If Dakota had written, "no women" would we be chastising him just the same? Technically, a woman could use RM to hire escorts. So are escorts on RM obliged to serve women? If they refuse, are they sexists? Are they putting women down for refusing to serve them?

 

I totally understand why his note has struck such a raw nerve and I can totally understand why people are justifiably offended. However, I'm not sure the rules of discrimination that we can apply to lawyers, doctors, etc necessarily work for escorts. For an escort to be good at his/her job, they have to establish a chemistry with their client. If the chemistry isn't there, there's a good chance the client won't be happy. Attraction is part of that chemistry, though certainly not the only thing.

If you can't do the job, maybe you're in the wrong business.

[jjkrkwood]

I'm Sorry Tru, and while I can never disagree with your well worded and presented logic here, even putting SEX aside as you say, this is REAL life and the truth is that often one's man's beliefs and words will be another man's Pain. It will always be that way and unfortunately we will not change that. And to be clear, the ONLY reason my focus was on SEX was because the discussion centered on an ESCORT not wanting to be sexual with a client of color. It was not about a restaurant refusing to serve same person, or a hospital refusing to treat him. It was about an ESCORT refusing sex based on race. To me, he has every right to do that. His physical body is involved. Its his choice whom he wants to give it to, and prospective clients WERE advised in his Ad. Now, if other people were emotionally "hurt" by his words, that is sad and unfortunate, but its something they must come to terms with.. What a beautiful world it would be if Everything was good for Everybody, but it Sho Ain't.... While members here want to jump on a bandwagon and make comparisons between an escort refusing people of color, and businesses refusing service to them, the comparisons are not apples to apples... and for me, that's just stretching to make a point... I am sure Dakota HAS thought about the impact his decisions have on his "bottom line", and he is obviously OK with that too. It seems the prospective clients that wont hire him because of his beliefs are the ones bent out of shape, possibly because of the loss of experiencing HIM ? EACH person needs to handle their own shit in situations such as these. Its OK to be a bit selfish and self-serving.. Whether Dakota is racist or not is NONE of my fucking business. We are each in control of ourselves; if we choose not to hire him, we dont and move along, but we have no right to tell OTHERS how to behave. That's the real injustice here.. Is it discrimination ? HELL YES, and I DONT condone that, but lets keep the issue at hand in perspective and not try to fit it into every other social and moral issue that exists in the world. As the saying goes "opinions are like Assholes, everybody has one". I have no beef with anyone here regarding this topic, but perhaps MY asshole is just a bit bigger and oddly shaped ?

 

And PLEASE guys, stop with the pvt hate mail calling me ignorant and racist, and wishing me dead. If you have a comment, make it publicly and not in the cowardly way.

Edited April 2, 2016 by jjkrkwood

[Kenny]

I'm Sorry Tru, and while I can never disagree with your well worded and presented logic here, even putting SEX aside as you say, this is REAL life and the truth is that often one's man's beliefs and words will be another man's Pain. It will always be that way and unfortunately we will not change that. And to be clear, the ONLY reason my focus was on SEX was because the discussion centered on an ESCORT not wanting to be sexual with a client of color. It was not about a restaurant refusing to serve same person, or a hospital refusing to treat him. It was about an ESCORT refusing sex based on race. To me, he has every right to do that. His physical body is involved. Its his choice whom he wants to give it to, and prospective clients WERE advised in his Ad. Now, if other people were emotionally "hurt" by his words, that is sad and unfortunate, but its something they must come to terms with.. What a beautiful world it would be if Everything was good for Everybody, but it Sho Ain't.... While members here want to jump on a bandwagon and make comparisons between an escort refusing people of color, and businesses refusing service to them, the comparisons are not apples to apples... and for me, that's just stretching to make a point... I am sure Dakota HAS thought about the impact his decisions have on his "bottom line", and he is obviously OK with that too. It seems the prospective clients that wont hire him because of his beliefs are the ones bent out of shape, possibly because of the loss of experiencing HIM ? EACH person needs to handle their own shit in situations such as these. Its OK to be a bit selfish and self-serving.. Whether Dakota is racist or not is NONE of my fucking business. We are each in control of ourselves; if we choose not to hire him, we dont and move along, but we have no right to tell OTHERS how to behave. That's the real injustice here.. Is it discrimination ? HELL YES, and I DONT condone that, but lets keep the issue at hand in perspective and not try to fit it into every other social and moral issue that exists in the world. As the saying goes "opinions are like Assholes, everybody has one". I have no beef with anyone here regarding this topic, but perhaps MY asshole is just a bit bigger and oddly shaped ?

Wait, what? Escorts "give" their body to a client? Now that's a bargain! I've been going to the wrong rental agencies.

[jjkrkwood]

Wait, what? Escorts "give" their body to a client? Now that's a bargain! I've been going to the wrong rental agencies.

 

 

Maybe you have been ? Unless hes a certified public accountant, I wouldnt be letting him do my taxes....

[Newly]

So no one has responded to the elephant in the room. Next time I see a client asking for a twink, a Black guy, an Asian, a hairy guy or one of the many other wants they have I'll be sure to post that they're racist and should hang their heads in shame - cause guess what - all of these are attributes that a person can't change. I've known enough escorts who have been hurt badly by clients calling them fat, ugly and other mean spirited names. Most of the times their opinion wasn't even asked for, it's more like a person posting if anyone knows anything about a specific escort and having to endure a bunch of posts about why that escort is too inked, old, young, whatever. By the way Dakota, welcome to the board. You've certainly entered with a bang.

[jjkrkwood]

So no one has responded to the elephant in the room. Next time I see a client asking for a twink, a Black guy, an Asian, a hairy guy or one of the many other wants they have I'll be sure to post that they're racist and should hang their heads in shame - cause guess what - all of these are attributes that a person can't change. I've known enough escorts who have been hurt badly by clients calling them fat, ugly and other mean spirited names. Most of the times their opinion wasn't even asked for, it's more like a person posting if anyone knows anything about a specific escort and having to endure a bunch of posts about why that escort is too inked, old, young, whatever. By the way Dakota, welcome to the board. You've certainly entered with a bang.

 

Yup exactly Newly, and most of the guys squawking here about what the escort didnt want are overlooking the fact that THEY have the same similar prejudices in their hiring choices, but noone makes a stink over it because it isnt made public. Most of these members repeated hire the same type of guy, overlooking and excluding an entire other spectrum of escort. I think open prejudices are much more honest and way less dangerous than hidden or "veiled" ones. Making the statement "NO BLACKS" in an Ad to me simply implies this individual doesnt

have sex with black men. WHY the label racist is being thrown at him for it is beyond me. And its the issues of those people throwing the labels that are the real problem, not the escorts...

The word "Racist" keeps being thrown around, but what ever happened to a persons "right to Choose" ?

Edited April 2, 2016 by jjkrkwood

[Strafe13]

We are each in control of ourselves; if we choose not to hire him, we dont and move along, but we have no right to tell OTHERS how to behave. That's the real injustice here..

 

I sympathize with much of what you've written, but have to draw the line here. No one can make others open their hearts and minds, and let go of their prejudices, which almost all of us have in some shape or form. But I categorically reject the false equivalency between the experience of being the subject of discriminatory practices, and that of being subject to the backlash against such practices. The "real injustice" is not that members of this community have taken these two escorts (including the guy in the other thread) to task for their racially discriminatory business practices.

 

I suppose it's better that Dakota, unlike that POS referenced in the other thread, informs prospective clients in advance that he refuses black clients, so as to avoid an awkward encounter down the road. But that's where white privilege comes into play. It may be awkward for the white escort, but it's far more than awkward for the client of color. As someone who has personally experienced racial discrimination, I can tell you that it's deeply offensive, hurtful, anger-inducing, and does violence to one's spirit. That's not to say that you want to give power to others so that they can hurt you. But there are certain things, given this particular cultural and historical backdrop, that resonate much more deeply, so "just let it fucking go" doesn't even begin to address that. It is not the same as those jerks who callously put "no fats, fems, or old guys" in a dating profile. It is much deeper than that.

 

I don't believe Dakota has ever explained his reasons on this thread, despite chiming in with some cute comments here and there, including a since-deleted joke about black guys being super hung (kind of inappropriate to invoke racial stereotypes here given the overall subject matter, but hey...). No one but Dakota himself knows the true motivation behind his actions.* He may not perceive himself to be racist, and might just not be sexually attracted to black guys, while having no other issues with blacks or any other groups of people. So it may be as simple as his belief or assumption that he could not perform with a black man. Or he may actually have full-blown racist attitudes against black people, and therefore want nothing to do with them in any capacity, including escort work. Or maybe it's somewhere between those extremes. Only Dakota can say what his real reasons are, assuming he's even given it that much thought. I get the sense from his comments that this is not a big deal to him, and if so, then it's unlikely this has been a subject of deep introspection. In any event, I think it's unfortunate that anyone has racial prejudices on any level, including the selection of their sexual and romantic partners. But life isn't perfect, and neither are we. I wish the best to Dakota and everyone else who's participated in these two threads.

 

*The other escort seemed to have a particular prejudice against American blacks, since he was willing to make an exception with the client who started that thread because he had a British accent. That suggests that it wasn't about sexual attraction, per se, but racial prejudice, particularly as animated by American-style racist attitudes against black Americans.

[marylander1940]

Yup exactly Newly, and most of the guys squawking here about what the escort didnt want are overlooking the fact that THEY have the same similar prejudices in their hiring choices, but noone makes a stink over it because it isnt made public. Most of these members repeated hire the same type of guy, overlooking and excluding an entire other spectrum of escort. ?

 

I understand your point when it comes to prejudices we have when it comes to hiring, no doubt. Some folks on here complaint about the browning of the escort business, maybe they need to hire guys from Minnesota, ND, SD, WI and other 90% white areas of the country.

 

I think open prejudices are much more honest and way less dangerous than hidden or "veiled" ones.

 

No fags allowed?

 

Making the statement "NO BLACKS" in an Ad to me simply implies this individual doesnt

have sex with black men. WHY the label racist is being thrown at him for it is beyond me. And its the issues of those people throwing the labels that are the real problem, not the escorts...

The word "Racist" keeps being thrown around, but what ever happened to a persons "right to Choose" ?

 

An escort is not attracted to 95% of the guys who hired him because they're old (like me) or overweight (like many of yinz). The main part of the business is having the stomach of having sex with guys who are not appealing.

 

I understand and escort saying: "Please no obese people", it's a specific group he just can't imagine himself getting a hard on and having sex with them. A local escort once told me a 300 pounder once broke his bed, another one try to fuck him but even if the escort was lifting the giant belly the cock of the client just couldn't reach him because there was no angle. He would screen the clients asking them height and weight and excuse himself after.

 

Calling someone who's a business man and a service provider who openly advertises in this ad "no blacks" a racist is a long shot? C'mon!

 

What do black guys have in common but their skin color?

 

They come in all ages, sizes, uncut/cut, income, countries of origin, social class, physical type, educational level, profession, top/bottom/versatile, etc. Such a generalization of not being willing to accept their money of such a diverse group because their skin color, that btw could vary a lot even in the same family, simply sounds racist to many of us here except you and others.

 

Edited April 2, 2016 by marylander1940