Porn and escorting. Similarities & Differences

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Though I have done a handful of films, I in no way consider myself a "star" and I'm much more passionate about sex as therapy than I am sex as entertainment. I'm curious as to what the experience has been for clients out there who have hired major porn stars. There are many guys out there who are great at both making porn and escorting, but the skills for each are quite different. Porn is a performance, and is about body awareness, angles, lighting, etc. It's about creating something that looks good, but not necessarily feels good.

 

There are guys who love to film the sex they have, but I just find that it totally interrupts the moment. I was having a great 3-way a couple weeks ago with my partner and a good friend who is a well known porn-actor. Because we don't do this very much, I seized the opportunity to ask our friend to film me and my partner, so I could post it on my Rentmen ad. After 3 minutes we told him to put down the camera and get back in bed. As I learned in my college sociology classes, the act of observation inherently changes the behavior of the observed, and I prefer sex without the critical eye of the camera.

 

So again, to return to my question. What has been the experience of those that have hired major porn stars?

[Guest]

I usually prefer hiring porn stars. That way I really know what I'm getting, and I especially know that I'm not dealing with cops. Most major porn stars charge extra.

I just looked at your ad, and it says Outcalls and new clients may need to pay a $100 deposit in order to schedule. I can tell you that I would never pay a deposit in order to schedule an appointment.

[Rudynate]

Do you really think the OP would adopt such a practice if he was concerned about his volume of business? This is the type of measure businesses adopt to manage demand.

[+ Keith30309]

I think you nailed it in that porn and escorting require two different sets of skills. They aren't mutually exclusive and some do both wonderfully and others excel at one over the other.

My limited experience with Stars is that it feels a little industrial and has lacked the emotional intimacy I've felt at other times, though I'm eager to keep experimenting.

[+ WilliamM]

If someone is spending $800 on a 3 hour appointment, all of a sudden a $50 deposit doesn't seem like a big deal. If an escort is asking for half or more as a deposit I wouldn't send that, and I recommend you don't either. Also, keep in mind that a deposit is much more than a monetary obligation, it also becomes psychological, in that both parties are already committed to each-other and building trust. Isn't $50 worth that?

 

Thanks for explaining your reasons for a deposit. Initially I felt the same as Unicorn. But, your post makes complete sense.

[+ glennnn]

Yes, if I am serious about hiring an escort, I would surely pay a deposit.(so many businesses request one now, after all, and the escort could be out the money). The only problem is I must insist on paying in cash for obvious reasons. Could I offer a credit card for the deposit and then cancel that transaction and pay the whole tab with cash?

[MiamiLooker]

I see nothing wrong with asking for a small deposit as long as any changes to the agreement by both parties and how these changes affect the deposit usage or refund are clearly defined.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I have the same stipulation in my ad. I will tell you that about 90% of the time new clients aren't required to put down a deposit. If for whatever reason you fail my sniff test as a client, then I'll ask for the deposit. I have in rare instances asked for a deposit for extended sessions ( weekend internationally or similar ). The only other fees I require in advance are travel & lodging fees as applicable.

 

I know when I introduced that new policy at the beginning of the year folks got into an uproar like the end of the world was coming. However, when you look at the raw numbers my business has only increased over time.

 

I'm the same way Kurtis. I put the deposit thing on my website to discourage guys that are just wasting my time and would only request it if I'm feeling that the inquiring client might not be legit. I ask everyone who doesn't agree with this practice to put yourself in our shoes. I have a website, multiple ads and great reviews to show that I'm reliable and professional, but have no way in gauging that about a client. Unless of course they are on here! i know that a large part of my business is about trust, but once you've had a few incidences when you've gone out of your way, perhaps canceling other plans to make yourself available, and then the person flakes, you have to make wise business decisions.

[+ honcho]

As I learned in my college sociology classes, the act of observation inherently changes the behavior of the observed, and I prefer sex without the critical eye of the camera.

 

The curmudgeon in me can't resist pointing out that I learned the same thing in my quantum mechanics physics class

[+ Lance_Navarro]

The curmudgeon in me can't resist pointing out that I learned the same thing in my quantum mechanics physics class

Hehe, yup, it applies on both levels, effects on people as well as on a molecular level. We are all star dust!

[Irtwo]

When porn became legalized, people used to always joke that if you hire an escort, make sure you film it, that way it' s legal.

[adriano46]

I have over the years hired major porn stars and the results are mixed (but lean heavily towards positive).

 

Initially I was more interested in the look of the guy (and admittedly that is the main reason one hires a porn star -- you see the goods you are getting). But as the OP has stated, there is definitely a major difference between acting in porn and being an escort.

 

I have learned to"vet" (as much as is possible} a porn actor I am thinking of hiring, especially looking here for reviews and experiences. I have a certain "type" (that is rather broad, really) and have learned to communicate clearly with them on what I am seeking.

 

On the positives, lately: Mike Gaite (sets the bar very high), and Nick Sterling (excellent as the BF experience par excellence, but then so is Mike). Others are Steven Ponce, and Antton Harri (a body that ages perfectly). Although not a porn star per se, Michael Bender (while he was in NYC) also set the bar high.

[mattr]

I understand the motivation behind the idea of a deposit and in theory have no issue with it, but the issue for me is that I don't want any record of the financial transaction.

[bigvalboy]

I'm the same way Kurtis. I put the deposit thing on my website to discourage guys that are just wasting my time and would only request it if I'm feeling that the inquiring client might not be legit. I ask everyone who doesn't agree with this practice to put yourself in our shoes. I have a website, multiple ads and great reviews to show that I'm reliable and professional, but have no way in gauging that about a client. Unless of course they are on here! i know that a large part of my business is about trust, but once you've had a few incidences when you've gone out of your way, perhaps canceling other plans to make yourself available, and then the person flakes, you have to make wise business decisions.

 

Well said...and you make some excellent points.. I've talked to and hired some top escorts in the business, and cancellations especially when traveling is a problem. Traveling these days is often expensive and arduous, so arriving at a city expecting to be hired, and then seeing that money evaporate must be more than irritating. When I was in business, I would have clients cancel on me, and although I was not out of pocket any money per se, other than my time, it was damn frustrating, so I see the other side of the coin. I don't have a problem with the deposit. I often travel with a loadable credit/debit card, and will often only load the amount I am going to be using. For me at least, they have better customer service than my regular credit card company. I have on a few occasions, disputed a charge, and they have always without hesitation, credited me back the amount.

[+ Truereview]

I understand the motivation behind the idea of a deposit and in theory have no issue with it, but the issue for me is that I don't want any record of the financial transaction.

 

I'm with Matt. i guess that means I will have to pass on some of the excellent choices who do require it. I see an exception for overnights and multiple hours making more sense. Otherwise, my loss and I'm ok with it.

 

To the original question, YES, I've had these experiences w porn actors. Interestingly, some hired and some not (meaning we hooked up but I had no clue they were in the biz). My takeaways: it was always hot when it wasn't an arrangement, and when I paid, it really depended on the companion. At this time, I only have 1 porn star in my portfolio and he is always "there" intimately. Either he is the best actor ever or I'm just so in lust with him, it doesn't really matter. One thing I will say for him is that a couple of times he has stated that he can't meet me bc he is exhausted or not in the mood, which took me aback the first time, but I've come to understand he was looking out for the quality of our experience together. And, no, I would never ask to have us videotaped...I rather remember it the way my memory recollects it, plus, in my humble opinion, you can't capture fireworks

[Rudynate]

And, no, I would never ask to have us videotaped...I rather remember it the way my memory recollects it, plus, in my humble opinion, you can't capture fireworks

 

 

Capturing a sexual experience on video is an erotic experience in itself. And watching the video later is also an erotic experience in itself. To me, it was like watching porno with professional actors, but the professionals are you and your partner. It's mind-bending in a fun way.

[Epigonos]

About the easiest way, in the world, to send money anonymously to someone is to go to the local U.S. Post Office and buy a postal money order. If the purchase is made with cash the name of the buyer is not needed and the to-pay and the from sections are left blank for the purchaser to fill in. One can then send the blank money order to the escort and he can fill in the blanks. This way the clients name doesn’t appear on the money order and the escort can write in any name he wishes. I have done this numerous times and it works like a charm.

[+ Truereview]

About the easiest way, in the world, to send money anonymously to someone is to go to the local U.S. Post Office and buy a postal money order. If the purchase is made with cash the name of the buyer is not needed and the to-pay and the from sections are left blank for the purchaser to fill in. One can then send the blank money order to the escort and he can fill in the blanks. This way the clients name doesn’t appear on the money order and the escort can write in any name he wishes. I have done this numerous times and it works like a charm.

Well, I learned something new today! Ty,Epigonos! One question, do you trace the postal money order? Not to sound suspicious, but what happens if the mail system loses it or your recipient claims to not have received it! Just want to benefit from your experience.

[Epigonos]

The purchaser does have a receipt and can obtain a refund if the money order isn't cashed. If the money order is lost or stolen and someone other than the intended escort get it and fills in the blanks and cashes it the purchaser is out of luck. To protect against that possibility I always wrap a piece a blank paper around the money order so it isn't visible through the envelope. Really though the chance that the money order will be lost or stolen is remote and it has NEVER happened to me.

[+ friendofsheila]

 

So again, to return to my question. What has been the experience of those that have hired major porn stars?

 

How would you define "major"?

[+ SundayZip]

... I'm much more passionate about sex as therapy than I am sex as entertainment.

 

Love this statement! One of my best escorts ever was like a therapist to me and I told him so. He told me that he already knew that... he said he could tell by the noises I made during sex. Damn, he was hot.