My foray into bottoming

[Wolfer]

Oh no, not another thread about bottoming! Ah, but I've done my research... poured hours over the various threads and posts on the forum here, dating all the way back the beginning of the previous decade.

 

So this is more of a sharing of experience and also some request for talking about how and what I felt and how I can move forward.

 

So I've never really enjoyed bottoming up until now. When I was with my ex-husband, I bottomed a few times but we naturally evolved to him being the bottom and me being the top. We were also each other's first and only until we seperated after thirteen years.

 

Since then I've topped exclusively with the guys I've been with and I absolutely love it. I get rock hard, love to ease myself into a guy while being attentive to his needs.

 

BUT! AH! Something happened yesterday! I was having amazing blow-your-socks off sex with a beefy latino until suddenly he flips me onto my stomach, lays himself on top of me and starts to work my neck, back and ass in such ways I was in pure ecstasy. Before I knew it I had my ass up in the air and a desire to get fucked by him took hold of me. I ultimately didn't, because I hadn't douched and also hadn't bottomed in a couple of years. But it had opened me up (pun intended) to become versatile and try bottoming.

 

So try I did! Having read all the wonderful threads here on the advice to prepare yourself I did just that: I douched, put on some hot porn, lubed up my ass, played with myself, took out a tiny (about 3") dildo and started working myself.

 

First thing: my anus burned. But it already started burning when I used the lube, long before I put anything up there. It also burns when I use soap. This is such a mood killer. When I was gently pushing the dildo in, the burning sensation intensified. So while the idea of getting fucked was a turn-on, almost all of the physical sensations were a mood killer, especially the burning.

 

I've read that the burning sensation might be because the muscles are being forced, but that doesn't explain the burning already starting when just putting lube on it.

 

I'm not a quitter so I pushed the dildo in completely and it flopped back out again a couple of times. But I kept at it and I'm certain I hit my prostrate because I immediately came uncontrollably while my whole body was awash with ecstasy, even after cumming physically the ecstasy remained until I pulled the dildo out. That moment did override any of the physical discomfort.

 

So in conclusion: I was a bit dissappointed that the discomfort was so big. But I'm willing to try it again. But there has to be something that I can do about the burning, because it completely, totally destroys the mood. Pain is a complete and utter turn-off for me.

 

I also hit a wall with just the 3" dildo. So what can be done about that? Work my way up to bigger?

[+ Truereview]

Thanks for the synthesis of previous threads and sharing your new adventure. I have nothing to offer but my gratitude b/c I'm also in the same spot: im a top wanting to rekindle my a-lifetime-ago versatility. I will be watching this thread eagerly and take copious notes.

 

Gents- please teach us!

[Moondance]

I'll leave the detailed advice-giving to others, and will only suggest that rather than FORAY into bottoming, it is always best to SASHAY into it.

[Rudynate]

I'd clean out and go back to the hot stud that made you want it so bad. He sounds like a keeper. Just make sure he knows you're a beginner.

[docred]

Soap and rectal tissue are a bad combination. For a clean-out douche nothing beats lukewarm water, but use a good lube before inserting whatever you are using to douche with.

It's surprising that the lube burned you, a good lube should feel wonderful, not painful. Perhaps a different brand?

When I was getting started an little anesthetic ointment like "AnalEaze" made all the difference...but just for use with dildos. Using it with a partner reduces your partner's sensation (and pleasure) as well!

And don't forget some deep relaxing breaths as well. It's meant to be FUN, and if you give it time and a little patience you will be enjoying one of the great pleasures of man to man sex...

[+ Truereview]

I'd clean out and go back to the hot stud that made you want it so bad. He sounds like a keeper. Just make sure he knows you're a beginner.

 

See, it takes Rudy to wake me up from my bottom stupor! I should also have asked for a listing of studs that can handle A born- again bottom. Also, come think of it, Wolfer, starting with you...I want the name of that blow-my-socks-off-flip-me-on-my-tummy-work-my-neck/back&ass Latino stud muffin.

[AdamSmith]

I'd clean out and go back to the hot stud that made you want it so bad. He sounds like a keeper. Just make sure he knows you're a beginner.

 

Falling into lust (or more) for a particular person you want to bottom for is a great gateway, motivator & enabler. It pulled me into bottoming at age 46, and all I could think after was -- no idea what I'd been missing all those years!

[+ glennnn]

Wolfer,

Thanks for bringing up a topic that may be old to some, but is new and riveting to the rest of us. I am delighted to hear your story because I feel I know you from your other posts and can really relate to your progress. No need to apologise as far as I am concerned. I am more interested in what you say than in a post from years ago. Surely those who have heard it all before can just skip over our conversation and go on to something they are keen on.

 

I have bottomed twice now. The first time was better for him than me. I, also, experienced the "wall" you mentioned, and it hurt when his cock (longer than 3 inches) repeatedly battered against a barrier in my ass. I was on my back with my knees right in my face.

Back to the internet for more research where I learned about the S shape structure he was ramming and a few suggestions to overcome this obstacle.

My second time bottoming I lay full out on my face and my lover sat on my legs with a leg on either side of me as he penetrated while kissing my neck.BINGO! No pain and a glorious time getting fucked. Later, I rode him which allowed me to control just how far his 7 inches penetrated. Again, success. The third time, in one night, I lay on my side and he fucked me and jacked me off which was the best of all

 

My point is.. don't give up. Try all positions. If having a dildo in your ass feels good, a cock will drive you wild. Good luck

[+ glennnn]

Falling into lust (or more) for a particular person you want to bottom for is a great gateway, motivator & enabler. It pulled me into bottoming at age 46, and all I could think after was -- no idea what I'd been missing all those years!

 

Truth, Adam. My first time was at 72!! I am now determined to get fucked at least one time for each year of my life. That leaves about 68 more moments of ecstasy. If my heart can't take it, just think of the smile I'll be wearing when the coroner comes.

[curiousnomore]

Thanks for this thread Wolfer. I'm sure that I'm in the minority, but my first bottoming experience is still in my top three. The guy(Escort) was Hot. We had had met the night before I topped only). I woke up super-horny so I texted him and he was available, so he came over. After topping him twice (multi-hour appt), I asked him to fuck me. He took his time, prepped me, and it was amazing. Enough said.

[Wolfer]

Soap and rectal tissue are a bad combination. For a clean-out douche nothing beats lukewarm water, but use a good lube before inserting whatever you are using to douche with.

It's surprising that the lube burned you, a good lube should feel wonderful, not painful. Perhaps a different brand?

When I was getting started an little anesthetic ointment like "AnalEaze" made all the difference...but just for use with dildos. Using it with a partner reduces your partner's sensation (and pleasure) as well!

And don't forget some deep relaxing breaths as well. It's meant to be FUN, and if you give it time and a little patience you will be enjoying one of the great pleasures of man to man sex...

Oh, I do douche with just lukewarm water. The soap is only used to clean the outer part of the anus.

Yep, the lube started burning me, just like the body-wash soap. I do have extremely sensitive skin. My anus generally tends to be a bit sore because... (TMI coming!) Well, see, I'm vegan so I have a very good transit which leads to sometimes multiple number two's a day. Wiping with toilet paper this many times irritates it (to the point of actually breaking the skin). Maybe if I use baby wipes this will help? There are some weeks that it's better and my anus has a chance to heal.

 

See, it takes Rudy to wake me up from my bottom stupor! I should also have asked for a listing of studs that can handle A born- again bottom. Also, come think of it, Wolfer, starting with you...I want the name of that blow-my-socks-off-flip-me-on-my-tummy-work-my-neck/back&ass Latino stud muffin.

Fabio. But you'll have to come to Belgium, though.

http://www.planetromeo.com/FABIOLATINO69

[Wolfer]

I'd clean out and go back to the hot stud that made you want it so bad. He sounds like a keeper. Just make sure he knows you're a beginner.

I like that idea. Just playing with myself just felt so technical it wasn't really conducive to feeling any pleasure.

[craigville beach]

Well, see, I'm vegan so I have a very good transit which leads to sometimes multiple number two's a day. Wiping with toilet paper this many times irritates it (to the point of actually breaking the skin). Maybe if I use baby wipes this will help? There are some weeks that it's better and my anus has a chance to heal.

 

 

I have a " Toto Washlet" toilet system. It is nice and gentle but keeps everything back there nice, feeling fresh and clean Check it out

[docred]

Like craigville I have a washing system. In my case it's a "Luxe Bidet". Inexpensive (less than $50), easy to install and perfect for cleaning my very furry arse!

[BaronArtz]

I am sorry to be so graphic, but do you have hemorrhoids maybe? Has a MD checked you for that? You can have internal hemorrhoids ... I suffered from them, but switching to a high-fiber diet really helped. Now I poop 3x a day, no problems anymore - except that my toilet paper consumption has gone up. Make sure to buy good brands. Again, I am sorry to be explicit

[TruthBTold]

I also only started to think about bottoming in my late 40s. Before that my only attraction was to shorter guys with really big bubble butts and they always wanted me to top. And it always felt great to do so. At any rate, besides cleaning out and fingering myself with a good lube as described above, I also try to loosen myself up by using a 3 - 5 " dildo (I want to make sure they have to do some of the work). But I always had a problem because the dildos tended to burn the tissue it rubbed against when it was being used. However, once I slipped a condom over the dildo I could go to town on myself. The downside is that I always had to make sure that I have some condoms for smaller cocks. Generally I only had Magnums. Oh, well, we do what we must.

[Samfoslom]

There's really a product called "AnalEaze"? Is there a discreet way I can ask for it at Walmart?

[geminibear]

There's really a product called "AnalEaze"? Is there a discreet way I can ask for it at Walmart?

 

I'm not sure you would find it at Walmart. The Walton's frown on sodomy.

 

I have found it at the local adult supply store or you can order it online if your worried about discretion.

http://www.amazon.com/Pipedream-Products-PD9804-62-Anal-Desensitiz/dp/B007YSIL7U

 

Numerous partners were glad I had it on hand over the years. Did I just publicly admit that I'm thick?

[Wolfer]

I am sorry to be so graphic, but do you have hemorrhoids maybe? Has a MD checked you for that? You can have internal hemorrhoids ... I suffered from them, but switching to a high-fiber diet really helped. Now I poop 3x a day, no problems anymore - except that my toilet paper consumption has gone up. Make sure to buy good brands. Again, I am sorry to be explicit

Thanks for pointing that out. A friend of mine had hemorrhoids and I asked him how he got them and he said that apparently it was because he was pooping a lot. To the doctor it is!

 

I don't have AnalEaze but some relaxation spray. But is it safe to use these? Don't they just make you numb to pain that would otherwhise let you know your body can't accomodate what you're trying to put into it?

[Wolfer]

But I always had a problem because the dildos tended to burn the tissue it rubbed against when it was being used.

This, I've noticed the exact same thing. Though I seem to have it too with condoms

I don't know if my mind is changing the memory in hindsight, but I seem to remember having (much) less of a burning sensation the few times I had sex without a condom with my ex-husband.

[TruthBTold]

Wow. I generally have no problem with condoms, although I am not sure if all condoms are made of the same material. The dildos I have been using are the black one and I would imagine are all made of the same material (tho to tell you the truth what that is I do not know).

[Wolfer]

Wow. I generally have no problem with condoms, although I am not sure if all condoms are made of the same material. The dildos I have been using are the black one and I would imagine are all made of the same material (tho to tell you the truth what that is I do not know).

Yep, mine is made from that black rubber as well. Maybe I could try a condom on my finger first, without penetrating, to see if it actually is the condom that burns. I'm gonna go see a doctor first, because there has been (GRAPHIC WARNING) a bit of blood after wiping.

[TruthBTold]

That is probably a good idea. It sounds like it could be as simple as outside hemorrhoids for which there are various remedies. While fingering with a condom may cause no pain, something bigger might. See what your doctor thinks.

[+ honcho]

You can have internal hemorrhoids ... I suffered from them, but switching to a high-fiber diet really helped.

 

This is assuredly TMI but ...

 

My most recent colonscopy affirmed what had been true 3 years previous - I do have an internal hemorrhoid, but

I also eat a high fiber diet.

 

My uncle, a bassoonist and M.D, in defending me against my mothers concerns about playing oboe aggravating lung issues said that the only occupation hazzard that he know of oboists to subject was hemorrhoids. (This conversation happened about 40 years ago).

[+ Truereview]

There's really a product called "AnalEaze"? Is there a discreet way I can ask for it at Walmart?

 

You would think someone @ AnalEaze Marketing would have come up with a better name for this product! Something less obvious...I'm seriously thinking of starting a new thread on renaming this product. How about...burnbegone or open-sesame or gate-to-heaven?