I had a horrible overnight... And I'm glad I did

[Nebost]

I also think of an overnight as more than continuous sex. Of course there would be more sex, but for me the main point would be more intimacy...cuddling, connectedness, talking, spooning, hot tub, shower, lots of foreplay and afterglow at a very relaxed pace. I thought these were the same things the OP was looking for, and that's why I thought he was well suited for an overnight, but just had not found the right provider.

[Rudynate]

I've never thought of an overnight appointment as being a night of endless sex. More like extended chatting maybe with dinner, sex before and/or after the chat/dinner part, then being intimate over night. Maybe more sex in the morning, maybe just breakfast. That scenario would be nice. Not that I would discount the idea of endless sex!!

 

Of course that sounds like a nice date as well. Not just a nice escort appointment!

 

When I said "endless sex," I didn't literally mean constant sex without end. To me, "Sex" includes showering together, laying in bed holding each other and touching, chatting, etc. But my definition of a night of endless sex doesn't include much sleeping.

 

I wouldn't book an overnight that included a significant amount of sleeping because I like to sleep alone. Even my partner and I usually sleep in separate rooms. I certainly wouldn't want to pay for the privilege of sleeping badly.

[+ Gar1eth]

That's a good point. I'm not saying whether you are or you aren't. It's a good question to ask yourself. Maybe you're a one-hour guy or 2-3 hour guy. I'm a 2-3 hour guy. I will say that I am toying with the idea of an overnight to see if it is possible, at my age, to have one of those nights of endless sex with someone that I already know.

 

It was never possible for me. I wonder whether it would have been possible if I had started having sex in my teens or early 20's. I liked overnights even if it wasn't about hours of sex because I got lonely after sex. But I hope you find you can have endless sex.

 

Gman

[mike carey]

I wouldn't book an overnight that included a significant amount of sleeping because I like to sleep alone. Even my partner and I usually sleep in separate rooms. I certainly wouldn't want to pay for the privilege of sleeping badly.

I would pay for an overnight that included sleeping time. I'm happy to sleep alone, god knows I've done it all my life. But a night of intimate contact, whether or not there was serious sex, is an attractive proposition.

[Epigonos]

Typically overnights cost between 1,000.00 and $1,200.00. If I can arrange two dinner evenings which include a couple of hour of intimate time, costing between $500 and $600 each, I prefer that. I have lived alone all of my adult life and thus prefer SLEEPING alone. I have a high body thermostat and I feel like I’m on fire when cuddling.

[Rudynate]

I have a high body thermostat and I feel like I’m on fire when cuddling.

 

Exactly. When I lived in Europe and went home with European guys, they all slept under those down comforters, which I found suffocatingly hot. In the middle of the night, after half a night of no sleep, I would slip out of bed and go sleep on the couch, or else just go home so that I could get at least a little sleep before morning. In warm weather, I just sleep under a sheet. When it gets cool, I add a light bedspread or a cotton blanket.

[+ Gar1eth]

Typically overnights cost between 1,000.00 and $1,200.00. If I can arrange two dinner evenings which include a couple of hour of intimate time, costing between $500 and $600 each, I prefer that. I have lived alone all of my adult life and thus prefer SLEEPING alone. I have a high body thermostat and I feel like I’m on fire when cuddling.

 

I don't know if it would help. But I've never heard a better reason to turn the thermostat on the A/C to 65.

 

I love to cuddle up to a point. Unfortunately I have sleep apnea (how funny autocorrect replaced 'apnea' with 'alone'-who knew autocorrect could act like a Magic Eight Ball:p:() so cuddling is difficult since I normally sleep at the edge of the bed, and the mask makes me look like Hannibal Lecter.

 

I once was about to have a weekend with an escort. I was packing the car to leave for an overnight. I put my sleep machine in the trunk along with a new computer I had just opened the day before. Now I live in a very safe area. I left the trunk open while I went inside to get some shirts from my laundry room. When I got back out to the car, someone had stolen my sleep machine and my computer. While the theft was bad enough, there was no way I could sleep with the escort. He never would have been able to sleep with my snoring. Luckily I had an extra machine. But I had no mask. I tried getting my home health agency to bring me a mask. But it was evening and they said it wasn't an emergency. I finally got a local hospital to give me some unused masks that they didn't need. So I met up with the escort. But our weekend started about 3 hours later than it should have.

 

Gman

[+ Keith30309]

I've had 2 overnights with one person (part of a weekend) and the 'overnight' part was fine - it was the 'daytime' part that went south very badly.

I've only been tempted one other time with someone I've come to know well but circumstances haven't allowed it (yet).

 

I love wake-up fun.

[Wolfer]

That's a good point. I'm not saying whether you are or you aren't. It's a good question to ask yourself. Maybe you're a one-hour guy or 2-3 hour guy. I'm a 2-3 hour guy. I will say that I am toying with the idea of an overnight to see if it is possible, at my age, to have one of those nights of endless sex with someone that I already know.

Yeah, I'm discovering so much about myself since I started this hobby... I've always had major issues about sex (up until I started this hobby I'd only had sex with exactly one person in my whole life, my ex-husband). So going in initially I thought I would want to mainly talk, cuddle and hug but it's like my first time just blew my sexual door wide open and I've been feeling like a giddy, horny teenager. I've had the two extremes now: I've spent several hours with a one guy and recently had two one-hour appointments with another guy which I thoroughly enjoyed too (it was full-on from start to finish, no chit-chat at the start BUT sadly also no afterglow unwinding...). So I don't know what my preferences are at the moment... Well, not completely anyway.

 

I also think of an overnight as more than continuous sex. Of course there would be more sex, but for me the main point would be more intimacy...cuddling, connectedness, talking, spooning, hot tub, shower, lots of foreplay and afterglow at a very relaxed pace. I thought these were the same things the OP was looking for, and that's why I thought he was well suited for an overnight, but just had not found the right provider.

That's exactly what I was looking for, except for the talking part. Well, I don't want to say that I don't want to talk at all, but I went into my first appointments thinking I would mainly want to talk and connect like that but changed quickly once I learned I could enjoy sex the way I did! I do know I'm not one to go out for dinner and such, I just wanna stay cocooned in private together while exploring each other. You know, like a new couple that just wanna do nothing else but stay in bed together and just sort of doze in each other's arms after the sex (and then have sex again... and again...).

I've also discovered I would love to fall asleep in someone's arms, but my impression here is that a lot of escorts don't like to do that. I've been considering maybe doing an "overnight" but during the day? You know, have the 12 hours be from noon 'till midnight or something like that...

[loverboy95]

Anytime you sense an escort is treating you in the wrong way, that is the time to run. Don't give them any extra room to do it again. You are only going to end up hurt in the end.

[jcmiami1]

Just my 2cents here but I see a lot of unresolved and lingering post divorce issues (including other unresolved issues not divorce related) going on that maybe you should see a gay therapist to discuss them. Always remember hiring an escort is a business transaction they're there for the money only nothing more. When they're with you they're acting only to get paid. Take the money factor away and almost all escorts won't give you the time of day - a lot of guys don't get that and get emotionally hurt when the "business transaction" becomes sour - it's all about the Benjamin's kiddo!

[+ Gar1eth]

Just my 2cents here but I see a lot of unresolved and lingering post divorce issues (including other unresolved issues not divorce related) going on that maybe you should see a gay therapist to discuss them. Always remember hiring an escort is a business transaction they're there for the money only nothing more. When they're with you they're acting only to get paid. Take the money factor away and almost all escorts won't give you the time of day - a lot of guys don't get that and get emotionally hurt when the "business transaction" becomes sour - it's all about the Benjamin's kiddo!

 

While I don't disagree with you, I will say that I think some escorts like their clients on the whole. I mean they most likely wouldn't have sex with them. But while I realize the escorts could have been lying through their teeth to get me to hire them again-most of the escorts, or ok let's say at least a few of the escorts, I used to hire for overnights or weekends seemed to indicate that I wasn't the worst guy ever to spend time with. Currently I'm friends with 6 or 7 escorts on Facebook. I know that doesn't mean we are really friends. Five of these guys are retired for the most part. One or two I think are still escorting. I'm reasonably sure that most of them have figured out where they know me from. And they've trusted me enough to know I'm not going to reveal big secrets on Facebook. I know at one point at least one of them had a partner who didn't know about their past career. They've been together 5 years now. So the secret may be out by now. If they had concerns, I think they'd most likely unfriend me. I think one even sent me the Friend Request. So while I wouldn't say I was close friends with any of these guys or real friends with any of the escorts I hired over the years, but I think they think I'm an ok guy.

 

Gman

[Wolfer]

Just my 2cents here but I see a lot of unresolved and lingering post divorce issues (including other unresolved issues not divorce related) going on that maybe you should see a gay therapist to discuss them. Always remember hiring an escort is a business transaction they're there for the money only nothing more. When they're with you they're acting only to get paid. Take the money factor away and almost all escorts won't give you the time of day - a lot of guys don't get that and get emotionally hurt when the "business transaction" becomes sour - it's all about the Benjamin's kiddo!

That's why I'm so grateful, in the end, I had this experience of the overnight. It cut clean any emotional entanglement I was starting to show.

I have been thinking of seeing a gay therapist. Up until now I've always had straight therapists where we mainly worked on my personality, but I haven't been in actual therapy for the breakup nor the sex stuff. It's a good suggestion! And thanks for the lovingly put advice, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

 

Whether it's with an escort, plumber, laywer or any other professional that I'm paying (premium prices for), I have quite a low tolerance for unprofessional behaviour. And the more I pay, the lower this tolerance becomes. I just think that having a handle on basic things like scheduling, communicating timely with clients, be adept at follow-ups, offering reimbursement for mistakes made and so on are absolutely necessary skills to have for independent contractors of any kind. What I mean by that is that I might get emotional (mainly annoyance or anger) with any business transaction that goes sour, not necessarily just with escorts. I'm usually quite adept and vocal about resolving such matters with the professional, but during the overnight I couldn't (for whatever reason).

 

About the money thing with escorts: I liken it to paying to be entertained. When I go see a play or a movie, it's all fake too, but if the actors do their job right, the emotions I feel will be very real. And to me, that's a reason to have sessions. Since this whole overnight debacle I am fully aware it's all make-believe and fantasy. But to me it's no different from playing a video game to escape reality for a while, knowing full well (now, at least) it is just that: a temporary, fantastical escape from reality for which I'm paying to get.

[Rudynate]

When they're with you they're acting only to get paid.

 

So are psychotherapists.

[Rudynate]

 

About the money thing with escorts: I liken it to paying to be entertained.

 

It's true that it can be entertainment, but it would be unfortunate if you limited it to that. You can become an awfully good lay by having sex regularly with men who are skilled lovers. To me, developing my sexual skills is huge. I want to be a skilled lover - it makes my life better, make's my partner's lives better. My partner paid me a wonderful compliment a couple of weeks ago. We were having especially nice sex, and he said, "I feel like I'm on a date that's going really well." That, after 23 years.

 

I occasionally get insights that seem like messages directly from my subconscious. A lot of times it happens after sex. I was showering after having a particularly cosmic episode with my partner, and I noticed a sign in my mind's eye, flashing on and off, that read "SEX IS IMPORTANT!!"

[Wolfer]

It's true that it can be entertainment, but it would be unfortunate if you limited it to that. You can become an awfully good lay by having sex regularly with men who are skilled lovers. To me, developing my sexual skills is huge.

I completely agree, for me the sex is part of the entertainment. I'm just so amazed at how many different techniques I've noticed guys use on me. Some very subtle but such a big change. Like one guy was giving me oral and suddenly he started gently rocking the sides of my pelvis back and forth... It heightened the whole sensation, it was soooo good.

 

I always wonder... who teaches the guys to get good at sex? Is there like a hidden school or something? Because these techniques aren't ones you can learn from porn, I would think.

 

In contrast to that... I've got a lot to learn. I did feel a bit like a floppy, fumbly teenager just groping around. But hey, I never had anyone to compare my skills to 'till now. And this is certainly an area where learning is certainly to be fun.

[Rudynate]

I completely agree, for me the sex is part of the entertainment. I'm just so amazed at how many different techniques I've noticed guys use on me. Some very subtle but such a big change. Like one guy was giving me oral and suddenly he started gently rocking the sides of my pelvis back and forth... It heightened the whole sensation, it was soooo good.

 

I always wonder... who teaches the guys to get good at sex? Is there like a hidden school or something? Because these techniques aren't ones you can learn from porn, I would think.

 

In contrast to that... I've got a lot to learn. I did feel a bit like a floppy, fumbly teenager just groping around. But hey, I never had anyone to compare my skills to 'till now. And this is certainly an area where learning is certainly to be fun.

 

They like sex, and they do it a lot. They may also learn from clients. And I think most escorts also have recreational sex. Some have partners, some are even married.