What's Your Earliest "I'm Queer" memory?

[BabyBoomer]

I posted a picture from Li'l Abner earlier in this thread. I liked it too. But here it is again in case you missed it.

 

 

 

 

Gman

 

Gman, Is that Max Baer, Jr. flexing his right bicep?

 

~ Boomer ~

[N13]

Another seminal movie moment was the Jane Russell "Anyone Here For Love?" spectacular in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."

 

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/497404/Gentlemen-Prefer-Blondes-Movie-Clip-Anyone-Here-For-Love.html

[+ Gar1eth]

Gman, Is that Max Baer, Jr. flexing his right bicep?

 

~ Boomer ~

 

I'm pretty sure not. Here's a list of the bodybuilders in Li'l Abner-Ken Ackles, Eric Alden, Nick Dimitri, Brad Harris, Gordon Mitchell.

 

You can look up their pictures. I'm getting the vapors just gazing at them.

 

Gman

[Zman]

I remember locker room scenes from movies like North Dallas Forty fondly:

http://cinemademerde.com/sites/default/files/styles/full_movie_image/public/movie_image/North_Dallas_Forty-lockerrom_0.gif

[Tonyko]

I grew up in an Italian hood close to the Village, and I went to a pre-school and weekend day camp right off Christopher St. I remember walking past the bars on a Sunday afternoon holding my mother's hand, doors open guys spilling out onto the street screaming and laughing, and I must have asked my mother what these "parties" were that were going on, because I remember her yanking me and saying NEVERMIND. I had no idea what a gay bar was or even what gay was, but I remember REALLY wanting to see what was inside.

We also had a "queer" neighbor, an older guy (30's) who lived with his parents in our building. I remember his name was Carmine and he had long hair and again I had no idea what queer was but I knew it had something to do with being like a girl because I distinctly remember my older brother and his friends watching Carmine come down the front stoop carrying his bike and the guys cracking that he should have a GIRLS bike. I also remember coming home from the market with my mother and someone had grafitti-d his name on the side of our stoop and another word that I didn't know that in retrospect was probably FAG, because my mother took her shoe off and scraped at the cement with her heel to scratch the word off. I had NO idea what the word meant but I SO remember having some weird feeling that it had something to do with ME in some way.

[tyro]

I grew up in an Italian hood close to the Village, and I went to a pre-school and weekend day camp right off Christopher St. I remember walking past the bars on a Sunday afternoon holding my mother's hand, doors open guys spilling out onto the street screaming and laughing, and I must have asked my mother what these "parties" were that were going on, because I remember her yanking me and saying NEVERMIND. I had no idea what a gay bar was or even what gay was, but I remember REALLY wanting to see what was inside.

We also had a "queer" neighbor, an older guy (30's) who lived with his parents in our building. I remember his name was Carmine and he had long hair and again I had no idea what queer was but I knew it had something to do with being like a girl because I distinctly remember my older brother and his friends watching Carmine come down the front stoop carrying his bike and the guys cracking that he should have a GIRLS bike. I also remember coming home from the market with my mother and someone had grafitti-d his name on the side of our stoop and another word that I didn't know that in retrospect was probably FAG, because my mother took her shoe off and scraped at the cement with her heel to scratch the word off. I had NO idea what the word meant but I SO remember having some weird feeling that it had something to do with ME in some way.

That was a sweet thing for your mom to do.

T

[Tonyko]

That was a sweet thing for your mom to do.

T

Yes. And she LOOOOVED her gay son lol. Told EVERYONE how much fun we always have together going to shows shopping how much fun my friends were he took me here or there etc, more fun than with my bro or even my sis. I lost her this Spring. Miss her like crazy. Still pick up the phone like 10X a day cause I forget. Still haven't erased all her Vmails n stuff. It's weird cause you don't have a family of your own or a partner so it's like there's no one who gives a shit about you anymore. (I know not true of course, there's fam and wonderful friends etc) but this was the person who says call me when you get home put on a warm coat eat something call me when your plane lands go to the doctor etc etc you know stuff like that. It's so weird not having that anymore.

[sincitymix]

Yes. And she LOOOOVED her gay son lol. Told EVERYONE how much fun we always have together going to shows shopping how much fun my friends were he took me here or there etc, more fun than with my bro or even my sis. I lost her this Spring. Miss her like crazy. Still pick up the phone like 10X a day cause I forget. Still haven't erased all her Vmails n stuff. It's weird cause you don't have a family of your own or a partner so it's like there's no one who gives a shit about you anymore. (I know not true of course, there's fam and wonderful friends etc) but this was the person who says call me when you get home put on a warm coat eat something call me when your plane lands go to the doctor etc etc you know stuff like that. It's so weird not having that anymore.

 

That is so sweet T.

Im going to go hug my mom now.

[TruHart1]

I used to wait for shirtless scenes of this guy. Can anyone name actor and the show?

 

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51tkxb4LzcL._SY400_.jpg

 

Gman

Yes, again, reruns with my Dad lol! Mission Impossible. Peter Lupus (sic) And btw I have heard of Bonanza and that other Western with Barbara Stanwyck NOW of course lol, but as a kid. "no" had no idea what they were.

 

What I remember with fondness about Peter Lupus was his Playgirl centerfold! He was blessed with quite an impressive endowment and most of it was visible in that layout, enough so that it was the object of very serious and repeat studies during my (since I had not yet moved out of my folks home yet) private time!;)

 

Lupus (as a bodybuilder) was especially attractive to me on Mission Impossible, but I also thought Greg Morris and Peter Graves were very attractive too!

 

TruHart1

[+ Gar1eth]

What I remember with fondness about Peter Lupus was his Playgirl centerfold! He was blessed with quite an impressive endowment and most of it was visible in that layout, enough so that it was the object of very serious and repeat studies during my (since I had not yet moved out of my folks home yet) private time!;)

 

Lupus (as a bodybuilder) was especially attractive to me on Mission Impossible, but I also thought Greg Morris and Peter Graves were very attractive too!

 

TruHart1

 

Loved Peter Graves!!!

 

 

Gman

[Daverwr]

Gee, you know... I don't remember a time I thought that I wasn't queer. Does that make me SUPER-GAY?

[samandtham]

During Freshman high school, a good-looking dude sat in front of me during class. He was regulation hottie; kind of like an Abercrombie model-in-the-making. He wore boat shoes without socks that he proceeded to take off as soon as class started. I remember thinking to myself, "Damn. Those are some beautiful feet" as I proceeded to not pay attention to anything but him.

 

I did befriend the guy in question, and we hung out for a bit, but nothing came out of it. The friendship kind of died after a year.

[Tonyko]

During Freshman high school, a good-looking dude sat in front of me during class. He was regulation hottie; kind of like an Abercrombie model-in-the-making. He wore boat shoes without socks that he proceeded to take off as soon as class started. I remember thinking to myself, "Damn. Those are some beautiful feet" as I proceeded to not pay attention to anything but him.

 

I did befriend the guy in question, and we hung out for a bit, but nothing came out of it. The friendship kind of died after a year.

Funny you said that, we moved out of the city to the NYC burbs when I started HS and freshman year I SWIPED a guy in my class's socks at an impromptu pool party one nite lol. All the guys just took off their shirts sneakers n socks and jumped in in their jeans. This guy (also Italian) looked like a really young Tony Danza with longer hair and he was a weight lifter with one of those V bodies he drove me crazy. His socks were just sticking out of his sneakers so I took 'em. Had NO idea what I was gonna do with 'em but I wanted them. I remember him saying someone was dicking around and took his socks etc . BUT this guy was what led to the realization that I could IDENTIFY OTHERS that "went to our church". We had a music/drama teacher a middle aged guy a little on the nerdy side not effeminate just nerdy, and I got a part in the big musical that Fall (yah I know) which he directed. Anyway this boy lived near the school and we'd rehearse at night in the cafeteria with the doors open and sometimes guys would show up and wander in to disrupt things goof on us etc. But when HE wandered in one night in jeans and a tight white T-shirt instead of tossing him out the director let HIM stay. He'd sit on a table feet dangling and watch and the director would keep going over to him and talking to him explaining the show etc etc etc. And I SO remember thinking WHY is he being so nice to HIM??? Then I remember realizing because it was obvious (to ME anyway) that HE thinks of this boy the same way "I" do, like sexually. And WANTS him the same way I do. It was the first time I recognized without any spoken word or someone else saying something, that an "adult" was queer like me.

[+ Gar1eth]

Funny you said that, we moved out of the city to the NYC burbs when I started HS and freshman year I SWIPED a guy in my class's socks at an impromptu pool party one nite lol. All the guys just took off their shirts sneakers n socks and jumped in in their jeans. This guy (also Italian) looked like a really young Tony Danza with longer hair and he was a weight lifter with one of those V bodies he drove me crazy. His socks were just sticking out of his sneakers so I took 'em. Had NO idea what I was gonna do with 'em but I wanted them. I remember him saying someone was dicking around and took his socks etc . BUT this guy was what led to the realization that I could IDENTIFY OTHERS that "went to our church". We had a music/drama teacher a middle aged guy a little on the nerdy side not effeminate just nerdy, and I got a part in the big musical that Fall (yah I know) which he directed. Anyway this boy lived near the school and we'd rehearse at night in the cafeteria with the doors open and sometimes guys would show up and wander in to disrupt things goof on us etc. But when HE wandered in one night in jeans and a tight white T-shirt instead of tossing him out the director let HIM stay. He'd sit on a table feet dangling and watch and the director would keep going over to him and talking to him explaining the show etc etc etc. And I SO remember thinking WHY is he being so nice to HIM??? Then I remember realizing because it was obvious (to ME anyway) that HE thinks of this boy the same way "I" do, like sexually. And WANTS him the same way I do. It was the first time I recognized without any spoken word or someone else saying something, that an "adult" was queer like me.

 

What was the show?

 

Gman

[Tonyko]

What was the show?

 

Gman

LOL. HS. Musical. It you took 5 guesses you'd get it lol. Bye Bye Byrdie. I was Hugo.

[bostonman]

Bye Bye Byrdie. I was Hugo.

 

I played Mr. McAfee when I was 13, lol. I think I had a tiny crush on our Conrad (whose name I think was Greg).

 

The foot story brings me back to my young teen friend Tim (from earlier in this thread). Back at 13/14, I don't think I consciously knew I liked feet sexaully yet (by high school I did). But I had this odd thing happen with Tim one day that makes me wonder if I could have been heading in that direction, sort of...

 

It was summer, and Tim and I were at his house, in the basement rec room, watching TV. We were sitting on the couch, and he was sitting cross-legged, so that one of his bare legs was right next to me. (Wearing shorts/socks/sneaks.) And I don't think at this point we had done anything tactile yet - this was sometime before Tim's little "truth or dare" games and the time we blew each other. And I was (and still tend to be) shy about making a first move, lol - so what happened was not a typical thing for me.

 

In any case, I found myself reaching over and putting my hand under his sock, and rubbing his ankle underneath. I don't know why. I don't know what the impulse really was - but I was doing it. I tend to think neither of us was looking at the other. But he wasn't stopping me, or asking me what the hell I was doing, etc. And who knows how long it really went on for - a minute maybe - though maybe it felt like it was longer. And then I finally realized I should stop, I guess, and I took my hand out from under his sock - and that was it. Still no comment from Tim, no acknowledgement of what had just happened, good or bad. I remember shortly after he shifted his position so his leg wasn't right next to me anymore - though again, it didn't seem like it was him trying to avoid me or anything. And that's all I remember - except that I know it didn't lead to any other touching, at least on that day.

 

I still wonder what it was that made me want to do that. ;-)

 

And...at some point, I'd love to find a guy who might like to roleplay what could have happened...like, say that a still quiet Tim had guided my hand back under, hinting that he wanted me to keep doing it. What if he popped his heel out of his sneaker - a hint that I could go further in under his sock? What if the sneaker and sock eventually made their way off, and there I was, rubbing Tim's bare foot? What if then he......;-)

[+ deej]

I remember locker room scenes from movies like North Dallas Forty fondly:

 

LOTS of those. Like "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas":

[Zman]

LOTS of those. Like "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas":

 

Absolutely deej! Semi Tough was another sports movie with some great locker room scenes. Naked butts and jockstraps on display. And maybe a dick or too through a steamy shower .

[fedssocr1]

ME: 4th Grade. IDK how old you are in 4th grade 10? I remember because the 4th grade classroom in my school was the only one at street level and faced 1st avenue. Right outside the window were some Con Ed or street worker guys working, and one young guy had his shirt off. He had a long 1980 shag haircut. And I remember CLEAR AS IF YESTERDAY, the Nun stopping the class and saying Mr. Baldini WHAT is so fascinating outside that window??? I had NO idea what I was feeling or why but "something" inside me told me I shouldn't tell the Sister I was looking at this guy. Something told me it was "wrong?" . I can't remember what I said or IF I said anything. BUT I remember the feeling crystal clear!

 

My experience was almost exactly the same. I think it was the summer when I was 10 year old (going into 5th grade) and they were paving the street in front of our house. This would have been somewhere around 1977. Young construction workers shirtless and wearing just cutoffs and boots. I watched them from my bedroom window all day long.

[fedssocr1]

this just reminded me of the legendary mid-1970s Sears catalog that had an underwear model who, reputedly, wasn't fully tucked in.....

 

http://www.snopes.com/business/hidden/sears.asp

 

and did anybody peruse the Penney's and Sears catalogs, by the way??!!....that dude at far right seemed to be in every other underwear ad picture in the 70s....

 

http://tyflyguy.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/underwear.jpg

 

Oh yes! My grandparents had those catalogs. Whenever we went to Illinois to visit them I spent a lot of time looking at underwear ads. LOL

[whipped guy]

ME: 4th Grade. IDK how old you are in 4th grade 10? I remember because the 4th grade classroom in my school was the only one at street level and faced 1st avenue. Right outside the window were some Con Ed or street worker guys working, and one young guy had his shirt off. He had a long 1980 shag haircut. And I remember CLEAR AS IF YESTERDAY, the Nun stopping the class and saying Mr. Baldini WHAT is so fascinating outside that window??? I had NO idea what I was feeling or why but "something" inside me told me I shouldn't tell the Sister I was looking at this guy. Something told me it was "wrong?" . I can't remember what I said or IF I said anything. BUT I remember the feeling crystal clear!

In re-rereading your initial post, it certainly brought back memories of the good sisters and parochial school. What you experienced was what they would reference in my day as, "The near occasion of sin". Another type, would be if you walked by an X-rated movie theater (again I'm dating myself) and peaked inside. You didn't actually go in and watch the movie, it was simply a look. However, just by being tempted you experienced the "near occasion of sin".

 

Still, it did not matter that you in essence did nothing really wrong. After all it was just some harmless looking, but they always made you feel that you would still burn in hell, or at the very least purgatory. Damn I forgot all about purgatory.

 

In any event, you would still be punished and would have to endure your just punishment. I think that's one reason why you knew that it would be best not to tell the nun what you were doing.

 

Funny, but the local X-rated theater was called the "Crown Theater". When referencing it the nuns would not even mention the name. I guess that would be the "near occasione of sin" even for them. They would simply say that the place was named for what a king wears his head!

[+ poolboy48220]

These were older, not my earliest memories, but there was a local gas station where the attendant usually wore just cutoffs. Beautifully tanned muscular torso.

 

When I was in my mid-twenties, they built a house on an empty lot next to me. One of the workers often just wore a pair of running shorts. Beautiful dark curly hair, muscles; I'd often fantasize that he'd stepped on a nail and had to come over for first aid.

[Zman]

Here's an early memory: cub scouts so I was in elementary school. I had a crush on the father of the other of one of the other scouts. Super cute. I remember visiting their house at some point and the father was doing some home repairs decked out in jeans and boots. Nothing more to it than that really. But I still remember him as one of my earliest memories that made me feel "funny".

[bostonman]

Here's an early memory: cub scouts so I was in elementary school. I had a crush on the father of the other of one of the other scouts. Super cute. I remember visiting their house at some point and the father was doing some home repairs decked out in jeans and boots. Nothing more to it than that really. But I still remember him as one of my earliest memories that made me feel "funny".

 

I tend to think it's natural that a lot of kids feel some admiration for friend's parents in general - they might seem "cooler" than their own lol. But yes, I can remember a few friend's dads, or neighborhood dads, who I had some secret thoughts about.

 

Also, of course, as we start to grow up and get more curious about sex, there's that odd realization that yes, parents became parents by having sex...and while it can be uncomfortable to think about our own parents "doing it," how many of us stopped to wonder about what our friends' parents might be like when they're doing it, lol?

 

I also have this memory of a married couple (without any kids, as far as I remember) that my parents became friends with when I was still in elementary school. And the guy was really really hot. I'm sure I had thoughts about him, though I wasn't really that overtly aware of gay feelings yet. But I know I was aware of how attractive he was.

[Tonyko]

LOTS of those. Like "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas":

EXCEPT in most of the other locker room scenes there isn't a lead blonde-boy dancer wearing mascara Think I was in 8th grade when this movie came out and even THEN I remember thinking I ain't so sure most of "these" boys are really THAT excited bout going to the whorehouse lol.