safe place for oral

[jakeleyman]

I met a guy off Adam who is just my type and he will allow me to perform oral for a price. Neither of us can host. I have met him at a bar and he is extremely hot; however, he is kind of secretive. My big head says to be wary, but the other head.... well, I definitely want to work this guy over orally. After a scary situation at a hotel in a similar situation, I'm out of ideas for a meeting place. I am afraid to go into a car or woods etc with him. There is one adult arcade in my small conservative city which I don't frequent but would be willing to visit with him; however, he won't go inside. I am a married guy with kids and carry my bisexuality totally within. You are basically my only outlet. I don't have friends who would let me use their place etc. Please do not tell me I am fucked up and need to use reviewed escorts. I know that already. I am looking for creative ideas to ensure my safety with this guy. Thanks for any ideas.

[rvwnsd]

There is no way to ensure safety with anyone you meet. However, there are ways to mitigate the risk that you will put yourself in harm's way when hiring someone. I know you don't want to hear this, but I am going to say it anyway: one way is to hire someone who is actually an escort.

 

That said, since you seem to be set on meeting this guy who isn't an escort but will accept money in exchange for letting you suck his dick, here are a couple of suggestions for how you might be able to avoid setting yourself up for being charged with grand theft and/or leaving behind a widow and orphan children:

1. Meet him again, perhaps at a coffee shop, not a bar. Better lighting and quiet conversation could help you determine whether he is bad news waiting to happen
   
2. Instead of meeting at a seedy no-tell motel, get a room at a Motel 6. They are inexpensive, generally clean, and have corporate standards for handling, ahem, "issues."
   
3. Stay behind at the motel room for a few minutes after he leaves.
   
4. When you leave the motel, make sure you have the key in your possession and do a quick inventory check of the room.
   
5. If they do not offer automatic checkout, stop by the motel on your way to work, do a quick check of the room, and then check out
   

If I can ask, why don't you want to hire an escort?

[jakeleyman]

Thanks rvwnsd for taking the time to offer suggestions. You asked a question - why not hire a reviewed escort? Mainly because the local ads are very few, and my work requires very little travel right now.. Also, I had a four year business relationship with a 20's guy from a small nearby country town whom I met on a social network. Unfortunately, he moved, and I have hope there are others out there. Also, I have to admit that there is an edge to paying a non-escort which excites me. Sometime that might actually be a decent topic for this forum.

[rvwnsd]

Thanks rvwnsd for taking the time to offer suggestions. You asked a question - why not hire a reviewed escort? Mainly because the local ads are very few, and my work requires very little travel right now.. Also, I had a four year business relationship with a 20's guy from a small nearby country town whom I met on a social network. Unfortunately, he moved, and I have hope there are others out there....

 

Got it. I'd suggest you take your time to find someone. Like I said, meet in a neutral place (other than a bar).

 

Also, I have to admit that there is an edge to paying a non-escort which excites me. Sometime that might actually be a decent topic for this forum.

 

I figured as much. Frankly, I think you ought to be very careful pursuing this edge. As a father, you probably want to be around to see your kids grow up.

[+ Gar1eth]

You know my thought is if he really wants your money, he'll suggest somewhere he is willing to go. If you can't come to an agreement, why don't you find someone you can agree with.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

I met a guy off Adam who is just my type and he will allow me to perform oral for a price. Neither of us can host. I have met him at a bar and he is extremely hot; however, he is kind of secretive. My big head says to be wary, but the other head.... well, I definitely want to work this guy over orally. After a scary situation at a hotel in a similar situation, I'm out of ideas for a meeting place.

Gman and rvwnsd have written excellent responses. If I was a friend and was talking to you in person, I would ask about how you worked things out with the guy in his 20s who recently moved. I would also asked how this 'relationship developed in the bar.

 

I am not giving you answers, just asking questions a friend would ask. Perhaps writing your response will help you clarify all this.

[+ WilliamM]

I met a guy off Adam who is just my type and he will allow me to perform oral for a price. Neither of us can host. I have met him at a bar and he is extremely hot; however, he is kind of secretive. My big head says to be wary, but the other head.... well, I definitely want to work this guy over orally. After a scary situation at a hotel in a similar situation, I'm out of ideas for a meeting place.

Gman and rvwnsd have written excellent responses. If I was a friend and was talking to you in person, I would ask about how you worked things out with the guy in his 20s who recently moved. I would also asked how this 'relationship developed in the bar.

 

I am not giving you answers, just asking questions a friend would ask. Perhaps writing your response will help you clarify all this.

[+ purplekow]

First, if you are afraid to get into a car with him, that may be a signal that this is not a great idea.

If you are intent on doing this, consider a gym with a sauna. Early afternoons tend to be less busy and you might suck up the courage to head to a car or hotel or if it is a less than steamy session, just spit out the whole idea and go home.

[rvwnsd]

First, if you are afraid to get into a car with him, that may be a signal that this is not a great idea....

 

Good point. When I first read jakeleyman's post, I interpreted the fear of getting in a car or going to the woods a fear of getting caught. After you chimed in I realized the other reason he could be afraid.

 

If you are intent on doing this, consider a gym with a sauna. Early afternoons tend to be less busy and you might suck up the courage to head to a car or hotel or if it is a less than steamy session, just spit out the whole idea and go home.

 

Also a good idea. In San Francisco and San Diego (I just learned) are The Tubs. Basically, a place where you can rent rooms with hot tubs for a period of time. You might want to see if your city has such a thing. You might be surprised by what you uncover.

[+ Gar1eth]

Also a good idea. In San Francisco and San Diego (I just learned) are The Tubs. Basically, a place where you can rent rooms with hot tubs for a period of time. You might want to see if your city has such a thing. You might be surprised by what you uncover.

 

Federal Way-a city about 20 mile south of Seattle has a tub place too called Elliot Bay Sauna and Hot Tubs. I have been there just to use the hot tub when my cervical radiculitis was acting up.

 

Of course Seattle also has two bath houses.

 

 

Gman

[thickornotatall]

my best advice...turn on your laptop...go to www.pornhub.com/gay find a good scene...take care of business yourself....probably the desire will be greatly diminished after you cum....the payoff is not worth the worry...there are many cities that still have men's baths...take a trip if you can...no reason to put yourself in a pickle....

[BaronArtz]

You have received excellent advice here. Would just add: if you are going to do the motel thing, pay in cash. No credit cards, no traces. And by all means, delete the adam4adam conversations and text messages. You don't want Mrs. Jakeleyman to find out.

 

By the way, I do sympathize with you. It's tough to be married (to a man or to a woman) and leading a 'double life'. It's exciting, but it has its complications. Wish you good luck.

[caliguy]

I'll just never understand this down low double life thing. Why not become a swinger? My parents did that all the time and they had a very healthy life together. They actually had this group that would swap partners and even swinging clubs they went to. As kids we never thought much about it. Just mom and dad doing their Saturday night thing. If she's appalled by this then she's definitely not the right person for you.

 

The problem with down low thing is that it's allot easier to pick up std's. Then the cat will really be out of the bag when you try to explain that. I've seen this happen btw.

 

On places like YouPorn there's tons of video's of this and hiring guys to spice up a marriage. This would be a great place to get the idea rolling btw.

[sincitymix]

You have received excellent advice here. Would just add: if you are going to do the motel thing, pay in cash. No credit cards, no traces. And by all means, delete the adam4adam conversations and text messages. You don't want Mrs. Jakeleyman to find out.

 

By the way, I do sympathize with you. It's tough to be married (to a man or to a woman) and leading a 'double life'. It's exciting, but it has its complications. Wish you good luck.

At least show up with the escort with suitcases, and drop a casual mention about travelling through on business if you want a cover story:P

[+ Gar1eth]

You have received excellent advice here. Would just add: if you are going to do the motel thing, pay in cash. No credit cards, no traces. And by all means, delete the adam4adam conversations and text messages. You don't want Mrs. Jakeleyman to find out.

 

By the way, I do sympathize with you. It's tough to be married (to a man or to a woman) and leading a 'double life'. It's exciting, but it has its complications. Wish you good luck.

 

At least show up with the escort with suitcases, and drop a casual mention about travelling through on business if you want a cover story:p

 

Nowadays -at least everywhere I've stayed lately -you have to show hotel registration your ID to register even at cheap places, and they copy it. So there's no way to be totally anonymous.

 

Gman

[sincitymix]

Nowadays -at least everywhere I've stayed lately -you have to show hotel registration your ID to register even at cheap places, and they copy it. So there's no way to be totally anonymous.

 

Gman

well.. how about a cave in the woods on a mountain..but then you'd have to worry about a bear being in the cave.. and a park ranger showing up.. though the park ranger could be a plus

 

But so very true G. cameras on every corner, drones abuzz in the sky, satellites in orbit that can read the print off a newspaper...

[jawjateck]

Jake.....I'm pulling for you. I like your style and that you go for what you want. For your family's security, I hope you find another young man who is open to a discreet, long-term arrangement since you are interested in that kind of situation given your previous success.

 

The guy that you describe sounds straight and fearful (can't do this/that; can't go here/there); if so, he will always be a hassle to work out a deal. Don't let him know too much about you.

[caliguy]

Jake.....I'm pulling for you. I like your style and that you go for what you want. For your family's security, I hope you find another young man who is open to a discreet, long-term arrangement since you are interested in that kind of situation given your previous success.

 

The guy that you describe sounds straight and fearful (can't do this/that; can't go here/there); if so, he will always be a hassle to work out a deal. Don't let him know too much about you.

Yeah, I agree. Cheating on your spouse for a long time is amazing and some real style. Great advice.

[jakeleyman]

With reference to Caliguy's sarcastic comment: "Yeah, I agree. Cheating on your spouse for a long time is amazing and some real style. Great advice."

 

I would just like to thank almost all of the others here who have offered some help to a guy who has laid his cards out here. When I initially committed I would have never believed the irrepressible tug of bisexuality which continued to follow years of an amazing relationship. I wish it were as simple as cheating. I don't cheat at cards, taxes or sports. Cheating is easy to suppress.

[jawjateck]

I am humbly and righteously admonished.

 

This new wave of morality sweeping through the forum is breathtaking. If it continues to metastasize, escorts need to prepare for the decline in revenue when all husbands and bfs forsake their cheating ways and stop hiring the men of Hooville.

[mike carey]

This new wave of morality sweeping through the forum is breathtaking. If it continues to metastasize, escorts need to prepare for the decline in revenue when all husbands and bfs forsake their cheating ways and stop hiring the men of Hooville.

I'm guessing that this could happen within days from now!

[+ WmClarke]

Don't worry. We members of the Immoral Majority will always be around.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I met a guy off Adam who is just my type and he will allow me to perform oral for a price. Neither of us can host. I have met him at a bar and he is extremely hot; however, he is kind of secretive. My big head says to be wary, but the other head.... well, I definitely want to work this guy over orally. After a scary situation at a hotel in a similar situation, I'm out of ideas for a meeting place. I am afraid to go into a car or woods etc with him. There is one adult arcade in my small conservative city which I don't frequent but would be willing to visit with him; however, he won't go inside. I am a married guy with kids and carry my bisexuality totally within. You are basically my only outlet. I don't have friends who would let me use their place etc. Please do not tell me I am fucked up and need to use reviewed escorts. I know that already. I am looking for creative ideas to ensure my safety with this guy. Thanks for any ideas.

 

Wait until you find one who can host. If this is something you really want to pursue and actually enjoy, be patient and keep looking. You have things that can be placed at significant risk for a blowjob.

[rvwnsd]

Yeah, I agree. Cheating on your spouse for a long time is amazing and some real style. Great advice.

 

The following quote has been ascribed to a wise man whose initials are JC:

 

"There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"

Admittedly, it is not always easy to put them into practice. However, they are good words to keep in mind.

[mike carey]

I'm thoroughly insulted. how DARE you call me moral!

*Takes notes, don't call Killian 'moral' even if you think he is!*