Well-reviewed escort to me: "I'm not just comfortable doing that..."

[anotherjohnindupont]

Well-reviewed escort to me: I'm not just comfortable doing that (talking on the phone) I only text...

 

I don't know if this belongs to the deli or the lounge.

 

Why is so difficult to get a young folk and some who aren't that young to talk over the phone for just 2 min to see if there's chemistry?

 

c'mon guys, if I was a service provider I would ask clients to call me and talk for a few mins instead of endless texting for hours.

 

very catchy title

[marylander1940]

if you're not happy with the outcome, just keep moving on

 

I did, and possibly I dodged a bullet...

If he had issues stepping aside to call, I wonder how picky and self-centered he might have been having sex with an older man.

 

I guess a 2 mins call or the lack of it because of drama is good way to detect if an escort/client are a match or not.

[marylander1940]

Personally, I prefer a short, to-the-point, phone call over an endless text banter.

 

I don't have any hard rules and I don't "have to" speak to everyone before meeting, but IF I feel that some vetting is necessary, I would ask the person to call me.

 

Finally, I wouldn't refuse when a client wants to talk over the phone. I think it's beneficial for both parties.

 

You're smart!

in 2 mins a lot could be said without turning it into a phone sex like others have suggested on here.

[Frequentflier]

If a guy can't talk on the phone for a few minutes, I pass. I don't like lots of texting and I don't want to hear them read out when I'm in court and/or the newspaper gets a copy. I'm also one of those guys who needs to hear the voice and the conversation, even if it's brief, helps me decide if I want to spend time with the guy.

[Samai139]

Marylander--thanks for the clarification. After thinking about what the escort said I came up with another possibility: let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a moment. Is it possible that this escort has a speech impediment or a heavy accent that might make communicating over the phone difficult? Was there anything in any of the reviews that you read that would indicate there was anything unusual about him? I've worked with individuals who stutter and some of them hated using a phone. Just a thought.

[marylander1940]

Marylander--thanks for the clarification. After thinking about what the escort said I came up with another possibility: let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a moment. Is it possible that this escort has a speech impediment or a heavy accent that might make communicating over the phone difficult? Was there anything in any of the reviews that you read that would indicate there was anything unusual about him? I've worked with individuals who stutter and some of them hated using a phone. Just a thought.

 

No he's all American, but if he couldn't find 2 mins to talk and check I'm not crazy, bossy, demanding, hipper, meth whore or white trash... how do I know he's one of those things?

 

Let's get a feeling of each other just by talking 2 mins, is not much to ask. Address, "on my way", "coming up", "may I have your room number again", "I'm running 15 mins late", etc that could be said by text but I'm going to text what I'm into and all the other conversations, I just would rather get a feeling of each other talking for 2 mins, why is it so difficult?

 

he even told me: he had no plan at all... is not like he was with a client when I called him.

 

He made it clear that he was "uncomfortable talking on the phone and texting was the only way to reach him at all..."

 

I hope I'm clear, he lost business because of being cranky and a phone-hating maniac.

 

Please quote me and others when you ask a question, that way we get a notification about you referring to our posting.

[marylander1940]

I also know escorts that after getting a text, call the guy and he not only got offended by their behavior but simply told them "not to proceed". Freaks, scared of aphone call?

I guess the phone call test is a way to tell a freak?

The numbers of no-shows will go down if escorts talk to a client on the phone to "get a feeling".

[rvwnsd]

...He made it clear that he was "uncomfortable talking on the phone and texting was the only way to reach him at all..."...

 

That's just odd, marylander. And this is coming from someone who doesn't like talking on the phone. Clearly, you guys were not a match!

 

I also know escorts that after getting a text, call the guy and he not only got offended by their behavior but simply told them "not to proceed". Freaks, scared of a phone call?...

 

I would never react that way. In fact, I've had escorts state they would rather call. If I am available to chat, I have them call right away. If not, we determine a good time to talk.

 

Alexander Graham Bell is spinning in his grave.

[marylander1940]

That's just odd, marylander. And this is coming from someone who doesn't like talking on the phone. Clearly, you guys were not a match!

 

 

 

I would never react that way. In fact, I've had escorts state they would rather call. If I am available to chat, I have them call right away. If not, we determine a good time to talk.

 

Alexander Graham Bell is spinning in his grave.

 

Exactly, just 2 mins to talk and see if there's chemistry.

I can't tell a flake by texting.

[mike carey]

I can't tell a flake by texting.

 

To tell a flake from texts he would have to be one serious flake!

[sincitymix]

I don't like talking on the phone. I get so nervous and flustered when I talk to an escort on the phone, I sound like a spaz.

[Lookin]

Maybe he thought you sounded too something and decided he did not want to bother talking with you any further. Too bossy, Too demanding, Too Fem, Too rude. I do not know if you are any of those things, but it does not take much time to spot someone with those characteristics and a quick getaway may have seemed to him to be the best way to handle it.

 

Certainly better than some of the ways I've been stifled. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

 

http://www.attydc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/restrainingrder1.gif

[Nvr2Thick]

Well-reviewed escort to me: I'm not just comfortable doing that (talking on the phone) I only text...

 

I don't know if this belongs to the deli or the lounge.

 

Why is so difficult to get a young folk and some who aren't that young to talk over the phone for just 2 min to see if there's chemistry?

 

c'mon guys, if I was a service provider I would ask clients to call me and talk for a few mins instead of endless texting for hours.

 

It's important to you, but it's not important to him.

 

I prefer at least one phone conversation. I do know that a lot of people are very efficient and comfortable with text messaging. They carry on perpetual private conversations with friends, family, significant others by text, quickly switching from one contact to the next. This goes on while they're at work, at the gym, in restaurants and stores, socializing with other friends. He may not be comfortable talking with you because text is his primary and dominant method of communication, and because he may be out and about and may have no idea how many hours it will be before he's free to talk privately with a client about escorting.

[Zapped]

This not liking to talk and preferring to text is generational. I teach college students and they find the idea of calling someone almost inappropriate. Everything is texting. Most of them only read email in a crisis when they've been told there is essential information in their inboxes.

[BgMstr4u]

As has been said here at least 10,000 times, a good experience with an escort is all about communication. If we can't even manage two minutes on the phone, why would I think an hour with him worth a couple hundred or more would be more successful?

[AdamSmith]

His insistence on texting inevitably makes one think of all the stories told by clients of escorts who can't stop texting to others even during a session.

[+ stevenkesslar]

This not liking to talk and preferring to text is generational. I teach college students and they find the idea of calling someone almost inappropriate. Everything is texting. Most of them only read email in a crisis when they've been told there is essential information in their inboxes.

 

This is correct, and bizarre, at least based on my experience, except it's even more complicated than that.

 

The story that sums up what I consider to be incomprehensible rules of communication to me is actually about a tenant of mine. I got an email from her that that a roof rat had somehow gotten into the attic, and she was clearly and appropriately freaked out about it. She has been a great, responsible tenant, in her 30's, and has rented in this house for about a decade. The rat thing had happened once before years ago with a different tenant so I happened to have on my iPhone the number of a professional who I knew could get rid of the rat. I called him and gave him the tenant's phone number and he said he'd call her. About a week later I had heard nothing so I called him back and asked him if he had gone to the house. He said he'd called the tenant and left her a voice mail, but she never called him back.

 

At that point I went into information overload and called, and texted, and emailed her. She quickly called me back and explained that she had not checked her voice mail in a week. I then arranged for both her and the professional to text each other. The guy went to the house and the problem was solved quickly.

 

It would be easy to dismiss this (and her) by assuming that people under a certain age just suck at communicating, or don't want to communicate, except at least in her case that's not true. I spent a few weeks at her house the previous Summer painting the outside and a couple nights we spent probably a couple hours bullshitting and drinking wine on the front porch. She's a delightful person and a good conversationalist. It happened to be during a period when she was being evaluated for an internship and I remember the night she came home after that. She had gotten an outstanding evaluation and she was almost crying for joy telling me about how much she'd enjoyed her summer job (in a care giving field) and how much the evaluation meant to her. She is clearly a people person.

 

Shortly after the rat thing, that Fall, I had to go over to her house to fix a different, small problem. It turned out she was having lunch with "a friend" so we texted back and forth several times to arrange when I could come over and she'd be home after the lunch was finished. It's ironic to me that the rules apparently allow that you can be sitting at lunch with someone sending a very short text, but you can't check your voice mail for a week. When I went over to her house the "friend" was still there and it turned out it was actually her former supervisor from the prior Summer job. We all chatted for a while and the two women clearly had kept in touch and admired each other. Before I left I mentioned the rat thing and asked my tenant if she wouldn't mind explaining the rules of communication about voice mail to me. She said that if she doesn't recognize a number, she will not only let it go to voice mail, but she also won't bother to listen to the voice mail. That floored me. A lot of times I intentionally let calls go to voice mail, either because I think it's a marketing call or I don't have time to talk, but the nice thing about voice mail is it's an easy way to screen unrecognized calls, as long as you bother to listen to them, which she apparently doesn't. There's any number of times when I've tried to call younger people and get a message that "the mail box is full" so I'm guessing this may have something to do with it.

 

The good news is that if she is the poster child, we are not doomed to some kind of weird Communication Hell. There is a generation gap, but at least so far it seems like you can at least bridge it by...............well, communicating.

[+ poolboy48220]

I'm 55, and reasonably proficient at text, email, social media, and obviously phone, but I feel each has its place. I won't have an emotional discussion over text, which has caused some misunderstandings between my much-younger roommate and I.

 

My dad, in his 80's, mentioned that someone he'd been working with (Tax guy, contractor, I forget) said he'd been asked if he had a facebook page. The guy's response was "What am I, 12 years old?" I can't imagine my Dad watching that iPad episode of Modern Family. His head would be spinning.

[+ WhamIAm]

Second guy I ever hired had a no-talk rule, said (um, texted) that it was because he was so in demand as an escort and because of his porn work he'd never get anything done if he spoke to everyone. Maybe that should have been a sign. It was a really awful session, and one that I probably would never had booked had we spoken for a couple of minutes. Since then, I've had a strict "no talk, no hire" rule.

 

But, rules are made to be broken. Was really struck by one RB ad -- great looking guy, long hair (which I find incredibly hot on the right guy), and a really well-written, funny blurb. Dropped him an email saying as much and just checking to see if he ever traveled to my hometown. That led to a very cool email exchange. Found myself headed up to his base of operations, emailed him to give me a call so we could set something up. Got the same response as OP -- "I'm not comfortable." Red flags immediately went up, then he explained he didn't think he came across well on the phone, therefore did all his communications electronically. Booked it anyway, with some apprehension. He turned out to be awesome -- an articulate, communicative, funny guy who's just really fascinating to talk with. He's just a bit phone phobic. (And, he's very respectful about putting his phone on ignore while we're together.)

 

He's one of only a handful of guys I've done a repeat performance with, and I see him regularly when I can get up to the city. One night, we ordered take-out to my hotel room in between rounds. He placed the order through an app. When the food hadn't shown up after an hour, I suggested he call to see what was up. He looked at me sheepishly, dialed the restaurant, and immediately shoved the phone at me to do the talking.

 

My rule remains in place, and has probably saved me a good amount of time and money in identifying guys with whom I wouldn't be a good match. Still, I'm glad I let one slip through.

 

I still give him some good-natured shit about it. Then I saw this and sent it along to him. Lays out the opposing viewpoint:

 

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/fuck-phone-calls

 

And, I will say with respect to the communications side of things, the guy's introduced me to the wonders of emoji.

[marylander1940]

His insistence on texting inevitably makes one think of all the stories told by clients of escorts who can't stop texting to others even during a session.

 

Brilliant!

[+ stevenkesslar]

His insistence on texting inevitably makes one think of all the stories told by clients of escorts who can't stop texting to others even during a session.

 

Since I tried to sound rational in what I wrote above now I will just sound reactionary. I read that thing above called "fuck-phone-calls" and it is one of the most illogical pieces of crap I've read lately. If that is the so-called "opposing viewpoint," this is really a no brainer. The basic point it makes is that phone calls can be intrusive if you are doing things like talking with a mother being euthanized or carrying crates of beer up the stairs. The perspective the author takes is: What right do you have to call me during sensitive moments like that?

 

Um, like, dude, maybe because you gave me your phone number? And if you feel that way, what right do I have to text you, anyway? And by the way, if you are as sensitive as you perceive yourself to be, and you are really talking with your mother about her imminent death, why the fuck is your phone on anyway?

 

And if you perceive a ring as being intrusive like "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" what is the difference between a phone ringing, versus a phone buzzing and vibrating and lighting up and going "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" because somebody is texting you? The one thing I'll concede is that texting is convenient when you don't want the person you are with, or other people around you, to hear what you are saying. But especially if we are talking about a first call from a nervous client, the questions could include anything from how do I know you won't give me a disease to what kinds of intimate sexual acts you want to engage in. Speaking for myself, that is not textworthy stuff. I guess really the only thing I can say about that is I'm happy for all the 20 somethings who prefer to text about that, because obviously they must be very good at using their hands and fingers in sensitive areas.

 

I got bitch slapped by my friend Dane Scott last year because I came home from a trip, during which he came to my house and watered my plants, and as is typical as soon as I got home I turned the phone off for about a day and checked out. During that time I got increasingly nervous texts and voice mails from him worrying about whether I got home safe, which I learned about when I turned the phone back on. I felt bad about it, but I'd rather err that way then by texting away when I am with somebody, which if my clients are right happens with regularity with escorts they have hired.

[+ WhamIAm]

I cosign all of that. I think texting and Twitter (agggggh, Twitter!!) will be part of the downfall of Western Civilization. But, give that article to anyone under the age of 25 or so and I think about 95% of them would consider it Gospel.

[Alec Andrews]

The ability to be flexible... whether in communication or any aspect of life.... is a great gift. Each of us has a point of view, but if we want truly want something then we will modify our behavior to get what we want. For some that might mean talking on the phone, others taking the plunge with technology and learning to text with the times.

 

We all have preferences for various different reasons. Mine is to text and email first, call second. None is a hard and fast rule and no preference is any better or worse than the next, just a preference.

 

Bottom line, be respectful and kind to one another and we will all come out ahead.