Help with etiquette if no longer interested after seeing further pics

[Scotty]

Hi Everyone. I'm new here. Happy to have found this forum. I hire about once a year when I am away from home. Have had good experiences and bad. Am currently looking at guys in a city out of town. One ad looked amazing, but when he sent me more recent pics he is clearly older and has an unappealing pinched, botoxy look. What is the nicest way to let him know that I am not interested without offending him? What do you think? Appreciate any and all input or links to similar threads. Thanks.

[tsgarp]

Short, sweet and honest is the best way. Usually I'll say something like "Thanks so much for sharing those. I don't think we're gonna be a good match but wishing you well."

[Alec Andrews]

Really don't worry about it... We escorts get a lot of inquires, 50% of which don't turn into anything for myriads of reasons. It's par for the course and expected. He isn't sitting there waiting for your response. In the unlikely chance he follows up, just say "thanks, but I went a different direction." Happy Hunting.

[Scotty]

Thank you both. I very much appreciate the feedback.

[+ Gar1eth]

You could always thank him for the pictures but tell him your travel plans have changed.

 

Gman

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Short, sweet and honest is the best way. Usually I'll say something like "Thanks so much for sharing those. I don't think we're gonna be a good match but wishing you well."

 

HA! In Secret Escort Language, this is the same thing as saying "Your pics are unappealing, pinched and Botoxy™."

 

Unless you were planning to get together that evening, wait a day and then write back and say "I'm sorry my trip was canceled, maybe next time I'm in town." There is honesty and then there's tact.

[+ Robster]

HA! In Secret Escort Language, this is the same thing as saying "Your pics are unappealing, pinched and Botoxy™."

LMAO!! I'm sitting here giggling like hell at that comment. You, sir, crack me up.

 

Rob

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

"Summer lovin', had me a blast…"

 

(Hand on hip)

[+ Robster]

Sometimes. You crack me up sometimes. (Still waiting for that video, by the way!)

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

It's a big file. I'll have to wait until I get home to upload it via Wi-Fi.

[+ Robster]

Oh, no problem. I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget about little ole me. *bats eyes*

 

Rob

[marylander1940]

Hi Everyone. I'm new here. Happy to have found this forum. I hire about once a year when I am away from home. Have had good experiences and bad. Am currently looking at guys in a city out of town. One ad looked amazing, but when he sent me more recent pics he is clearly older and has an unappealing pinched, botoxy look. What is the nicest way to let him know that I am not interested without offending him? What do you think? Appreciate any and all input or links to similar threads. Thanks.

 

I would just tell him your trip to his city was cancelled and move on.

[adventurous old guy]

I've got a related question. I've twice contacted a person I think would be good fit, he's experienced and has good reviews. His request is for initial contact by text, which I did both times. First occasion, I asked to connect by phone after establishing that he was available. Response by text was that he couldn't talk, his fee was $ ___, where and what time? I like dialing direct, but felt like he blew off the phone request. Wanted to give him a market feedback hint, so texted back "you sound busy, I'll look for you another time." Second time, very similar. Asked by text can I call you, now a good time? Response back was, "no I'm eating, followed by fee quote and the when/where question." This time I backed out saying my plans have changed, best of luck. Question: Should I have said more, been more explicit about failure to have a phone call being a deal killer? Or should I stick with tact and let him connect the dots?

[marylander1940]

Really don't worry about it... We escorts get a lot of inquires, 50% of which don't turn into anything for myriads of reasons. It's par for the course and expected. He isn't sitting there waiting for your response. In the unlikely chance he follows up, just say "thanks, but I went a different direction." Happy Hunting.

 

Exactly, plenty of teasing!

[Kevin Slater]

Question: Should I have said more, been more explicit about failure to have a phone call being a deal killer? Or should I stick with tact and let him connect the dots?

 

Why be passive-aggressive?

 

Kevin Slater

[adventurous old guy]

Yeah, that's my question. If this were a person I knew -- or even someone I didn't know but was talking to -- I'd definitely have said more, e.g. look can you make time for a call. But given that the whole interaction was by text I just didn't think it was worth the effort to work it out. Don't think of myself as having a passive-aggressive communication style, but this has kind of stayed with me, so maybe it was. Thanks for feedback.

[+ newatthis]

I've got a related question. I've twice contacted a person I think would be good fit, he's experienced and has good reviews. His request is for initial contact by text, which I did both times. First occasion, I asked to connect by phone after establishing that he was available. Response by text was that he couldn't talk, his fee was $ ___, where and what time? I like dialing direct, but felt like he blew off the phone request. Wanted to give him a market feedback hint, so texted back "you sound busy, I'll look for you another time." Second time, very similar. Asked by text can I call you, now a good time? Response back was, "no I'm eating, followed by fee quote and the when/where question." This time I backed out saying my plans have changed, best of luck. Question: Should I have said more, been more explicit about failure to have a phone call being a deal killer? Or should I stick with tact and let him connect the dots?

Yeah, that's my question. If this were a person I knew -- or even someone I didn't know but was talking to -- I'd definitely have said more, e.g. look can you make time for a call. But given that the whole interaction was by text I just didn't think it was worth the effort to work it out. Don't think of myself as having a passive-aggressive communication style, but this has kind of stayed with me, so maybe it was. Thanks for feedback.

I've had this experience a couple of times and found it very off-putting, as you did. But one of those times (this was an ad on craigslist and conversation was by email), I persisted. There was a lot of back and forth, but never a convenient time for a phone call. Turned out the guy was an aspiring actor, new to escorting, living with roommates which made it difficult to find privacy to talk on the phone, and worried that I was going to scam him -- and, a gem in bed. So you never know.

 

In your case, dealing with an established escort, I would probably have just written that I need to talk in order to be sure we're a good fit.

[Guest countryboywny]

Question: Should I have said more, been more explicit about failure to have a phone call being a deal killer? Or should I stick with tact and let him connect the dots?

 

I believe in being upfront. I would have told him: "I need to have a voice conversation with you. If you're unable or unwilling to do that, then I will have to make other plans." Simple, tactful, and gets to the point.

[adventurous old guy]

Thanks again for all the advice. Btw, love the tagline, country boy:

 

That which is done, is done. May the future decide whether it be good or evil. Let no man leave this place with anger in his heart. Let him go forth with good thoughts and good deeds for all mankind.

[Rudynate]

I've had this experience a couple of times and found it very off-putting, as you did. But one of those times (this was an ad on craigslist and conversation was by email), I persisted. There was a lot of back and forth, but never a convenient time for a phone call. Turned out the guy was an aspiring actor, new to escorting, living with roommates which made it difficult to find privacy to talk on the phone, and worried that I was going to scam him -- and, a gem in bed. So you never know.

 

In your case, dealing with an established escort, I would probably have just written that I need to talk in order to be sure we're a good fit.

 

I'm not an escort, but I am a self-employed professional. Price shoppers and people wanting to pick my brain for free can become huge time sponges if I let them. I can sympathize with the escort wanting to minimize unproductive interactions. Nonetheless, he could be a little nicer about it. Even when I'm blowing off a time-waster, I'm polite about it.

[marylander1940]

I believe in being upfront. I would have told him: "I need to have a voice conversation with you. If you're unable or unwilling to do that, then I will have to make other plans." Simple, tactful, and gets to the point.

 

Me too!

 

Just 2 minutes to talk on the phone and make sure he's not crazy, why so many young guys just text and refuse to talk on the phone. I don't get it.

[+ FreshFluff]

Me too!

 

Just 2 minutes to talk on the phone and make sure he's not crazy, why so many young guys just text and refuse to talk on the phone. .

 

Too many people looking for free phone sex?

[marylander1940]

Too many people looking for free phone sex?

 

I hope that was sarcasm...LOL

[adventurous old guy]

Just for the record, I don't haggle rates. In the case above, I agreed to those right away by text. But his experience before me might have been with people who did. Perhaps he assumed that's why I wanted a phonecall, when in fact I wanted to make sure we were on the same page about interests and expectations. Again, I could have taken one more step and clarified that in another text.

[Alec Andrews]

I rarely get involved in these business end threads for fear of alienation... but this particular topic speaks to RESPECT in my humble opinion.. for both client and escort. I've mentioned my POV on this subject in one or two other threads... but here goes again.....

 

I prefer texts and emails because they are simple, to the point communication... with few loopholes for bull-shitting. You contact me, coherently discuss when you might want to get together, simple interests, and you make an appointment. Easy. Straight Forward. Immediate. Honest.

 

Phone calls on the other hand are the opposite for me. I have no problem talking on the phone for a few minutes... Clients want to make sure I am masculine, thoughtful, kind, personable...etc... Totally cool... It shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Now as the phone call keeps going longer and longer and progresses into sordid details about what I will and won't do and what I like and what you like and it starts getting deeper and deeper... then I start feeling used, manipulated, and that the guy on the line is wasting my time...getting off on the phone conversation. Phone sex basically. He is getting something, my time, and I am getting nothing in return. This has happened so many times that I am jaded and just don't like phone calls with new clients. Clients I have met before.. I am all cool and will talk with them for an hour.

 

Question - When you make an appt. with your dentist... You call the receptionist..tell her you have tooth ache... ask the price.. and make an appt.? Right? You don't actually ask every detail about the examination, and X-rays, and what instrument the dentist will use to drill you tooth and what kind of epoxy will be used to fill it...etc etc etc... Why do you think asking an escort for all the sordid details is appropriate? I as a professional have seen and done it all... Why not trust in my abilities to please you?

 

I understand you are making a substantial investment in an hour of fun with your hard earned money. I understand you want a great experience. I want to give that to you and be the best experience you could ever have. That is why you use Daddy's reviews to vet your potential candidates. But please kindly respect an escort.. and in kind your investment will be returned ten-fold.

 

Respectfully - Alec