Has abuse changed your sexuality?

[wisconsinguy]

If you were abused, sexually...physically... or mentally, do you believe that played a part in your defining moment of who you are sexually?

[rvwnsd]

If you were abused, sexually...physically... or mentally, do you believe that played a part in your defining moment of who you are sexually?

 

No.

[ericwinters]

I was a victim in my childhood. While I do not think it made me gay, I do think it has put up very "big and thick" walls around me, making it difficult to connect in an intimate relationship. My sister had a similar situation with the same abusers, she is gay too. Go figure.

[Zapped]

I know a guy who was abused by an older man as a child and is convinced this is why he is gay. Although his family accepts him as gay, he is an a religious place where he thinks any sex outside heterosexual sex is sinful. But he's far from celibate, and identifies as gay, and is quite torn. (And, quite obviosuly, in a long process of gradually healing.)

 

I dated a guy who at that time was a stripper and part-time escort. Back then, about 20 years ago, he wasn't sure if he was really gay or if his sexuality was a result of having been molested. Now he's 40-something and seems quite comfortable with being gay.

 

I felt very insecure about my body when I was a teenager. "Skinny weakling" kind of guy. I lusted after the bodies I idolized and idealized. For years I was convinced that I was gay because I felt insufficiently masculine, blah blah blah. Turns out that there are plenty of straight guys who have body image and masculinity issues and yet are attracted to women.

 

It's very easy to be confused about these things.

[gallahadesquire]

I was psychologically abused by my father, whose sexuality was of concern to my mother, who thought he was a closeted homosexual. I tend to look for a larger, perhaps more mature, but physically larger, more muscular man than my father was when he died (I was 14). I don't know if that was influenced, or just somewhere I would have gone anyways.

 

I have this thing for big, muscular guys. Also, tall, slender dudes and ... oh, never mind. If he has a pulse, a blood pressure, reactive pupils, and is making piss, I'm there.

[Zapped]

I've been thinking about this some more. It's really clear to me that the type of guy I'm attracted to, and some of my fetishes and obsessions, are related to childhood traumas, insecurities, etc. The fact that it's guys I'm attracted to--while I used to think that it was because of those traumas and insecurities that I was attracted to guys, now I think I'm just gay. Getting turned on by a certain kind of verbal abuse in role play situations--it's absolutely clear how that's linked to early experiences. Loving to suck a cock? That's just a gift!