Not booking immediately

[newportbeachdude]

Just had a frustrating phone call and I'm wondering why it went wrong. I called an escort whose ad didn't have his rates listed. It said "please call, don't text." So I called and asked him his rates. I usually just get massages, but curious about trying an escort. His escort rate was understandably more than I pay for massages, so I said I wanted to think about it and I would call him back if I was interested. He immediately got combative and seemed pissed at me for not just immediately booking and hung up on me. Is it not good form to not immediately book? I only called because I wanted to know the info that he said to call him about. I wasn't trying to string him along, just wanted to think about it with all the info before I booked. Sorry if this is rambling, just frustrated!

[sincitymix]

I don't think you did anything wrong. The escort clearly said call to ask for his rates. I like to gather information if needed and make an informed decision. The problem seems to lie with the Escort.

[loverboy95]

The escort was obviously being rude here! Don't take it personally.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

As long as your call was as direct as you outlined above, I would suspect the call lasted no longer than one or two minutes. In that case, I think many clients would have handled the call the same way.

 

If your call went beyond that and included questions about services provided/included, potential dates, and any personal-type information and lasted longer, I can understand that the escort felt you might have not intended to hire him at all.

[newportbeachdude]

The call was less than a minute long. I said I had seen his ad and I wanted to know what his rates were. He told me and asked when I wanted to book. I said I needed to think about it and would call him back if that worked for me. Then he said I wouldn't find any better deals anywhere else and hung up. Was a bummer because he was attractive in his photos and I probably would have booked but not anymore.

 

Thanks for the replies, guys. Good to know I'm not insane.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey man,

 

Sorry things went sour that fast, however, if you ask me I would say that you just dodged a bullet. If he snapped that easily my guess is that you might have not had a very fun time and you might have been walking on eggshells during the whole thing. Now, I don't mean to minimize the escort's frustration; I deal with time wasters every single day and it really gets you. There are two fetishes that a few people have, I call them "Speak with the W___re" and "Yank the W____re's chain". Keeping you on the phone is their goal, they want you to work hard for the promise of a booking, they want to send you on wild goose's chases, nothing else. I understand why he is on edge... but you did nothing wrong. He said ask, you did. You said I will think about it. That should be the end of the story.

 

As a client I think it is your responsibility to make sure that your call is based on a sincere desire to asses his services and hire him. You don't have the responsibility to hire him, but it is best if you don't call just to speak with him and get a thrill by listening to his voice. I have the feeling this is not what you did, but in truth only you will ever know. If you call with the sincere desire to gather information for an actual hire, you're fine.

 

As an escort, it is our responsibility to be clear headed, polite, professional and if at any time we get the feeling that we are in the middle of a time wasting call it is our responsibility to politely re-focus the call or end it, explaining clearly why we are doing so. It is up to us to make sure we keep a sane, healthy environment because our job is to make you feel so comfortable that you will feel safe being vulnerable and having fun.

 

I don't want to write off my colleague. We all have awful days and sometimes after three chain-yankers in a row a sweet, honest man calls and he is the one that ends up getting the result of one's frustration.

 

On the bright side, I am sure there are a few other sexy guys in your area. Rinse off the bad taste, try again and hopefully you will find a sweet, super sexy, super horny guy with whom to have a fantastic time.

[Guest RexB]

Whenever I'm considering hiring a guy I like to find out if it looks like he and I will hit it off sexually, so I ask a few questions. Sometimes they answer all of them, sometimes answer some of them and sometimes answer none of them. I almost always am looking to set up an appointment in advance, and sometimes I don't have a date in mind. I just want to know if I should put them on my wish list for a future hire. If the guy is too pushy about me stating a time to meet and is also unwilling to answer my questions the chances of hiring him go way down and I know to not pursue it any further. If he answers my questions and calmly accepts that I am shopping and not ready to hire at that moment his chances go way up.

One thing I've noticed is that the ones who fly off the handle over the littlest thing are more likely to be fakes. My theory is that they feel guilty and they think that by projecting the feeling of guilt disguised as anger onto the prospective client it's going to make them feel better about themselves. Well, we all do that or have done that and we know that when we do that we feel better for about 2 seconds and then we feel worse.

When I'm looking to hire a guy I'm not looking to spend an hour with someone with some guilt/shame/anger complex because that isn't fun to be around and it sure as hell isn't sexy.

[adriano46]

Had a bad experience recently with another bad apple --

 

I was going to be in another city for 2 days (an overnight really) of business meetings. Originally the company arranged that nothing be scheduled on first night so that we would be completely free by 5 p.m. Great!

 

So, I checked out what was available, and who would be willing to travel a bit (or who had a car) as our company had put us in an hotel on the outskirts of a city.

 

Texted two or three guys to see if they would consider traveling outside city center, and 2 of them responded positively. In both cases I told them I would be arriving in two days, and if the evening was still free I would get back to one of them.

 

Due to coming snow storm, meetings were compacted and the evening was to be used for meetings so that we could all escape before the snows arrived the next day.

 

I contacted BOTH individuals to explain the change (so they would not be waiting for a call). Guy 1 was great about it; Guy 2 wrote calling me a few choice names, called me a hopeless, desperate old faggot and a few other (less polite) terms and then blocked my phone from ever contacting him again. This particular guy is no spring chicken himself (at least 50), acted in a half-dozen or less very low-grade porn movies, and gets off with guys slapping his testicles very hard.... weird. Well, I dodged a bullet on that one -- discovered after the fact and on another site that his brain is fried with muscle supplements and he was a real SOB for a hire.

 

RexB - you hit the nail on the head. "When I'm looking to hire a guy I'm not looking to spend an hour with someone with some guilt/shame/anger complex because that isn't fun to be around and it sure as hell isn't sexy. "

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Just had a frustrating phone call and I'm wondering why it went wrong. I called an escort whose ad didn't have his rates listed. It said "please call, don't text." So I called and asked him his rates. I usually just get massages, but curious about trying an escort. His escort rate was understandably more than I pay for massages, so I said I wanted to think about it and I would call him back if I was interested. He immediately got combative and seemed pissed at me for not just immediately booking and hung up on me. Is it not good form to not immediately book? I only called because I wanted to know the info that he said to call him about. I wasn't trying to string him along, just wanted to think about it with all the info before I booked. Sorry if this is rambling, just frustrated!

 

"Hi, I'm possibly coming to your city on ____ and wanted to check your rates and availability. I should know whether or not my trip has been planned in the next day or so and wanted to check your calendar. Thanks."

[rvwnsd]

I'm in the same camp as those who think you dodged a bullet. Not that it negates the sting of being treated badly, but far better to learn he is combative while gathering information than when you meet him.

[Mocha]

"Hi, I'm possibly coming to your city on ____ and wanted to check your rates and availability. I should know whether or not my trip has been planned in the next day or so and wanted to check your calendar. Thanks."

 

Good note.

 

I'm an oddball to thinking I don't think the escort was necessarily a dodged bullet. I think it was a case of not enough info or compromised being made on both parties. I have clients in the past who have asked my rates...then whenever they say, "I'll think about it", usually never call back. The proper way to fix it would be to say, "well would you be willing to meet for ___ amount?" Or I may come back and ask, "how much are you considering?" Yes that leaves room to negotiation and like me, might end up having some regulars who agreed but won't ever pay more. I prefer to list rate to avoid confusion. They can think, then call.

 

I had a situation 2 weeks ago where a client had booked me over a month earlier. I seen him before. Constant texts, planning, talking about it, etc. I'd gotten the suite, it was for an overnight, we were talking about it earlier in the day confirming. Time comes around, he's not there. All the while muddled with excuses about plans with his fiancé that same day, which ended with her having a heart attack. That's the purported story.

 

I was so annoyed, all I could say was, "I think it was bad planning to schedule an overnight the same night you had plans with your fiancé." Haven't heard from him since. Don't know whether the story was true or not, but after that it's good when a client just calls and books immediately. No riff raff

[Juan Vancouver]

I'm an oddball to thinking I don't think the escort was necessarily a dodged bullet. I think it was a case of not enough info or compromised being made on both parties.

 

Hey Mocha,

 

I think I see where you are coming from and by George I think we all have the right to request as much information or compromise as we want. However, I do believe it's our duty to make sure that we keep our politeness and kindness in every situation. And I don't mean us escorts, I mean us human beings. Personally whenever someone over reacts, attacks or is easy to throw blame, I know right away that I rather not spend any time with this person if I can avoid it. Life is so incredibly short and precious! Whenever someone snaps, justifiably or not, I feel a wave of relief washing over me because I know I can take care of myself by removing myself from the situation.

 

But of course, that is just another opinion. As evidence by other threads, we all have incredibly different tolerance for rudeness, abuse or violence. I think the secret of happy relationships is to know your limit and stay within as much as it is humanly possible.

 

Sorry to hear about your chain yanking story. Brother, I hear you! I wish many reliable, kind and super fun clients come your way. =)

[+ quoththeraven]

Here's another reason why I prefer to avoid the folks whose ads don't contain any information about fees. Unless the rate is high enough to be an automatic "no thanks," "thanks, I'll get back to you" is likely to be my response to learning the guy's rate because I want time to think it over. If I'm going to be berated for not committing right away, then I just won't call the "ask me" guys. And for someone to feel that calling up, asking for info I need in order to decide whether to hire him at all, and getting off the phone quickly is wasting his time is misguided when he was the one who made the decision not to make that information publicly available.

 

In other words, I think he was in the wrong, not you. There's no legitimate reason to be discourteous to someone who asks for the rate and doesn't linger on the phone. If the escort doesn't like that because most such people don't hire, there's an easy answer: List rates. He can't have it both ways.

[Guest countryboywny]

"Hi, I saw your ad and I would like to know what your rates are." "Thank you, I'll let you know. Have a good day." Hang up, done.

[rvwnsd]

...I prefer to list rate to avoid confusion. They can think, then call...

 

Your practice of listing rates goes a long way toward addressing the issue at hand. Seems like an advertiser who lists "ask me" as his rate and wishes to be called, not texted or emailed, is setting himself up to receive lots of calls but not lots of appointments.

 

 

...I do believe it's our duty to make sure that we keep our politeness and kindness in every situation. And I don't mean us escorts, I mean us human beings. Personally whenever someone over reacts, attacks or is easy to throw blame, I know right away that I rather not spend any time with this person if I can avoid it...

 

As I've said on the past (and will likely say again in the future) the presence of a financial transaction does not absolve us of the responsibility to be decent human beings. As a client, I don't want to be treated as a human ATM. As an escort, you don't want to be treated as "the help."

[bigvalboy]

As I've said on the past (and will likely say again in the future) the presence of a financial transaction does not absolve us of the responsibility to be decent human beings. As a client, I don't want to be treated as a human ATM. As an escort, you don't want to be treated as "the help."

 

+1....Such a simple statement, but so very important.