Flip It And Reverse It

[Steven_Draker]

Flip It And Reverse It: The Joys Of Being Versatile In Bed

 

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“More and more I’ve been feeling like even the question ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ is passé,” blogger Rich Juzwiak writes in a new op-ed published on Gawker.

 

Versatility, he believes, is where it’s at. But he didn’t always feel that way.

 

For years, Juzwiak identified as a top. “But curiosity kept creeping up on me,” he says, “temping me to try what makes many a guy’s eyes roll back in his head uncontrollably.”

 

So he decided the give bottoming a try.

 

“The first guy who ever fucked me I met via gay.com; I don’t remember his name. He lived on the inland of South Jersey, so that’s probably for the best,” Juzwiak writes. “He was a terrible top. He knew that I was inexperienced, but told me that I just needed to relax to enjoy the experience. I felt the white heat of pain in my butt the entire time.”

 

But he didn’t let that one bad experience dissuade him from trying it again. (With a different gentleman, of course.)

 

“Bottoming remained a crapshoot (pun intended),” he says. “It could be great; it could be massively painful; it could be uncomfortable enough to feel like a big waste of time.”

 

Then, in 2013, Juzwaik had a prostate exam. His doctor asked him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a real tight ass?”

To which he replied: “Isn’t that a good thing?”

 

Juswaik’s doctor recommended exercises he try (including taking poppers) that might help him relax and enjoy bottoming more. Today, Juzwaik says he loves pounding just as much as getting pounded.

 

“One of the greatest things about being versatile is that you are potentially sexually compatible with anyone,” he writes. “I’d say I’ve topped in 75 percent of my casual encounters in the past two-and-a-half years. I was also in a relationship where I bottomed exclusively.”

 

“Finding your preferred sexual role…requires a deep level of introspection about something generally regarded as carnal,” Juswaik writes. “It requires work and experimentation to get it right.”

 

“But that work,” he concludes, “clearly, is loads of fun.”

 

source: http://www.queerty.com/flip-it-and-reverse-it-the-joys-of-being-versatile-in-bed-20150303

[doitb4ugo]

We all are what we are comfortable with. I started as always a bottom after a disasterous first encounter as a top. Now several years later, I tend to top most of the time. For me the botton/top designation stopped meaning so much. My paradigm seems to be about "sub" or "Dom". I am always submissive, and if that means topping, I oblige.

 

Agree that this gives me many more potential partners for sex. On a side note, I will always be a grateful bottom should our paths cross again. ;-)

[Muscle Lover 2]

I, too, identified as strictly a top for the first 10-15 years of sexual activity. My bottoming experience was the same as the writer's -- major pain, zero pleasure. Then, the "right guy" did it and it all felt right. Now, I prefer the bottom bunk.

 

Interesting though that an MD recommended poppers. As much as I love them, I can't believe they can be good for you.

[Bart]

How I wish I could be versatile. When I entered the realms of gay sex, I was 38. I had failed as a husband. It was me not the wife. I did all the physical examinations, everything was perfectly normal. So it was a psychological issue, ugh I would take the physical issue any day, but for a man once it is in his head . . . I went into this exploration fully intending to experiment, try bottoming. I was a natural. I love being a bottom. I have tried topping or being versatile at first it just was not successful or maybe the better word is fulfilling. I now find even when I am asked to do it, I am not comfortable at all doing it. I perfectly fine in my role as being a bottom, 99% of the time, however, there are times I wish I could be versatile just to add another dimension to the relationships but I am fine with the role I take.

[Rudynate]

I got off to a bad start with bottoming, and didn't like it much. I thought that there had to be something wrong with somebody who actually liked getting fucked. But then the right man came along and I discovered the joys of bottoming. Whether I enjoyed it or not was always unpredictable, but for most of my sexual career, I was definitely versatile. Always happy to top, somewhat less happy to bottom, but didn't have any problem doing it.

 

As an older man, I have really embraced being a top - I simply love fucking men in the ass. Bottoming is an extremely rare event. When I am topping a guy, I feel as though I am doing what I was made for.

[+ Gar1eth]

When I first read a story about bottoming in my early 20's, it really scared me. Now the idea of sex in general scared me too. But along with just not wanting to be gay, the idea of bottoming is one of the things that kept me from wanting to experience sex for so long. Then in my early thirties while still a virgin to all sex I developed what is most likely chronic pelvic pain syndrome. During my acute phases it was possible for a simple digital exam by the doctor to have me in pelvic pain for a week. I decided that if a gentle finger exam could do that, having someone deliberately trying to hit the area was not for me. I wish I were more versatile as topping is becoming more difficult the older I get, but it's just not for me.

 

Gman

[rguer]

During my acute phases it was possible for a simple digital exam by the doctor to have me in pelvic pain for a week. I decided that if a gentle finger exam could do that, having someone deliberately trying to hit the area was not for me.

 

It's probably not, but maybe it's like being caressed, where a gentle touch is ticklish and a firm touch is erotic. I do not have chronic pelvic pain syndrome, but I am susceptible to cramping, and the right preparation and technique can eliminate it. For you, though, it might not be worth the risk. Maybe you could find a nice male nurse who knows anatomy well and do some experimentation.

[+ Gar1eth]

It's probably not, but maybe it's like being caressed, where a gentle touch is ticklish and a firm touch is erotic. I do not have chronic pelvic pain syndrome, but I am susceptible to cramping, and the right preparation and technique can eliminate it. For you, though, it might not be worth the risk. Maybe you could find a nice male nurse who knows anatomy well and do some experimentation.

 

The chronic pelvic pain when I first had it was daily for two months. It was a feeling of horrible burning in the pelvic region (wasn't an STD- it occurred 9 years before I ever had sex) along with a feeling of burning pain along the shaft. The pain was often enough to bring tears to my eyes. It gradually faded starting at the third month with recurrences since then. Even today ejaculating causes me some discomfort in the pelvic region. And it's not unusual at all for me to have some feelings of urgency as if I had to pee (much like with a urinary tract infection) for hours or days afterward. My prostate and I are not on good terms with one another. I'm thinking bottoming just like having a muscular physique is not something I was designed for.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

As a ciswoman, I'm a natural bottom (and yes, I mean what you do by the term), but luckily I've never experienced anything more than a fleeting feeling of discomfort. Though perhaps I shouldn't call it luck; if bottoming had been a consistent problem, I'd have quit long ago. The most pain I ever experienced was when the boyfriend who had introduced me to anal sex with my permission tried using strawberry-scented shampoo as lube. (This was long ago before personal lubricants were a thing.) I know, I know, bad idea; as soon as it hit my sensitive nerve endings, I remembered that shampoo is soap, which is a base. It burned like a motherfucker, but fortunately, not for long.

 

I prefer God-given equipment to manmade, so I sideyed the idea of using a strap-on to top until I saw an educational video made by QueerPornTV (Tina Horn and Courtney Trouble) for the Smexy Kitten sex shop website. Now I think it would be fun to try. Gender not an issue.

[tom1980]

When I first started hiring escorts, I wanted to be a bottom almost exclusively. I'd experimented with toys and felt like I didn't need to see a man if I wanted to penetrate someone else since I can do that with my wife. However, after several years, I started becoming more versatile, and now I usually top. I still bottom every couple of months when the right guy comes along, but I usually prefer topping these days. Maybe I'll start to switch back to preferring to bottom in a few years. I find it fascinating that my sexual preferences are so fluid and change so often (when I prefer women v. men, topping v. bottoming, what kid of porn turns me on, etc.).