Men that use one word replies when texting potential clients.

[corndog]

In my experience, most of the clients with whom I end up having fulfilling sessions never hesitate to call to set the session.

 

I'm curious: How do you feel about clients that initially communicate via text, but are also willing to speak by phone when requested? I'm mindful of the fact that escorts are often bombarded with time-wasting text messages, so I'm usually direct and to-the-point with my texts, asking specific questions and inquiring about availability. I'd say it usually takes about five text messages back and forth to set up a session with a well-reviewed, established professional. I'd be happy to speak by phone if requested, but I usually don't find that it is necessary.

[+ SimplyAdam]

What is inevitably about to happen brings to mind the oft-quoted, "If I had more time, I would have written you a shorter letter." This is a multi-faceted subject!

 

I'm the fellow TGuy mentioned he had text messaged (amiably, and while at my desk, typing 80-words-a-minute via iMessage from my MacBook Air in a way that allowed for about a dozen bits of information to be conveyed in less than two minutes' time) my shared experience and absolute agreement with Steven, Kevin, and Juan.

 

This thread has evolved into a conversation that extends beyond the domain of "escort and client" and touches on issues of our increasingly cancellation and commodification-oriented culture, and it seems we're all on the same page when it comes to wanting a personal connection and a healthy respect for one another's time and energy (which a personal connection might entail by default).

 

1.) In my experience, phone calls, by nature, are more pleasant, and - often - more direct. Text messaging, in theory, is more effective. However, while I might just be sitting on the subway, you might be otherwise engaged. If the matter is pressing and we're both in a situation where we cannot talk and have nothing else to do, it is the best option - though an unlikely one. I believe a phone call for an initial contact is more effective and indicates commitment. Text messaging works too, but has a higher likelihood of being a form of passive aggressiveness.

 

2.) Now - for prospective clients, I prefer phone calls. Through them, I can easily employ my intuition, alleviate his fears and gauge necessary details, and we both get maximum return for our time (sometimes it's the seventh question that negates a meet-up) - which is only respectful in its being mindful that both men on the other end of the exchange have other things going on. For established clients, I prefer text messages, as the connection has already been established and the goal is to expand upon it in the flesh.

 

3.) Regarding text messages - client or escort - if more than one bit of information is required (e.g., time brackets, location, and rates), ask for it all in the initial or second text message. There is a finesse to this, and it's very much appreciated. It will save both parties time and effort.

 

4.) This all boils down to intentionality and the expression of it. If you intend for a personal interaction, then be personable - and be aware of the chock-full life of the man you're engaging with. Escorts and clients alike can feel grateful and privileged to be approached and responded to in this way. As a sensual service provider I must mention that I'm rarely sitting around waiting for an "Are you avail?" (which, more respectfully, could be rephrased with three seconds' more effort as "Are you available now? David"). To be relegated to an "Are you avail?" or "Hey" or what have you devalues my time and vocation. A more respectful exchange sets the tone for a more meaningful encounter. To the escort. To the client. To the other human being, and in all facets of text messaging in society as we now know it.

 

5.) In a larger context, multi-tasking is a myth - and one our society subscribes to more and more. Always being tethered to technology only to be violently jolted out of the moment we're in and the current company we're keeping to be displaced by another - and no one gets our undivided attention or best go of it. It's astonishing that this has so quickly become our way of interacting with each other and the day-to-day. I walk around Manhattan, phone on silent and in my pocket, just in awe that folks who weren't doing so just a decade prior seem to have so much going on that they must be glued to a glowing rectangle while they walk past so many overlooked details (and often into me). Is anyone in the moment they're in? And life just slips on by, and men contact me - overworked and overwrought - with the expectation that I am similarly detached and enslaved. My phone is barred from my bedroom. When I read a book, it's put aside. And it's always on silent.

 

Let me rein this in:

 

When it comes to two men about to set up an intimate engagement, it's important to note how you want to be perceived and to play your part in setting the tone and creating the space in advance for a meaningful experience, however that looks for you. To come across in a warm, personable way is important, tempered with the respect of honoring someone else's time and - ultimately - their personhood and experience of living.

[markpaul]

I am not a texting guy. I feel like a meeting can be arranged and details and questions worked out more clearly and in a short time by phone or e-mail. Usually my initial contact with a working man is by e-mail so that I can find out if we are a match. Then the phone is a fine way to communicate.

[down_to_business]

My preference is to set everything up by email. I am not a fan of texting and I like talking on the phone even less. I have also been able to set up MANY appointments by email only, and almost all of them were a complete success. Once I become familiar and comfortable with an escort, telephone does become an option but NEVER for a brand new escort encounter.

 

1) Emails (and texting to an extent) allow me plausible deniability. I once had the opportunity to work with an undercover vice-cop. It was after that experience that I adopted my rule of never setting up an escorting arrangement by telephone. If forced to, I will engage an escort by telephone, but if at any point he tries to discuss money or sexual activity the conversation is immediately over. This rule of mine is non-negotiable.

 

2) I appreciate any escort that has the customer service skills and adaptability to make an appointment with the client in whatever manner (phone, text, email, smoke signals etc.) the client feels most comfortable.

 

3) Generalizations are as useful as prejudices and stereotypes. You are going to miss a lot of really great clients when you are not flexible with your communications. Thinking a client won't stand you up if you talk to him versus texting him is insane on the surface. Someone who has respect for others and personal responsibility will show up to an appointment regardless of which method they make the appointment.

 

4) Emails and texts allow a record of specifics that may come into question in an agreement being made. On a few RARE occasions when needed, I have been able to provide an escort a written record of our conversation when a question about a rate or some other detail has come up. Try that (unless you record all of your conversations) with an escort when the promises or details were made over the phone.

[Kevin Slater]

Generalizations are as useful as prejudices and stereotypes. You are going to miss a lot of really great clients when you are not flexible with your communications. Thinking a client won't stand you up if you talk to him versus texting him is insane on the surface.

 

When five different escorts have weighed into this thread saying that texters don't show up, maybe there's something there. Clients have one data point: themselves. Cumulatively the escorts who have replied to this thread have thousands of data points. Yes, there are some folk who text and show. Like Juan says, it's not worth weeding through the 95% of the rest to get to that one.

 

Prospective clients are welcome to use any method of communication they chose. Escorts can weigh their experience and chose whether to respond. Were I to be on the hiring side of the equation, I would chose to keep company with those clients who come through versus those who do not.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ SimplyAdam]

An elucidating list, down_to_business! And thanks for bringing email into the equation, because I failed to mention that -

 

Absolutely, an email is always preferable - including as a follow-up to a phone exchange, and especially to clarify a man's background, desires, and intentions (which I always request and - hands down - are my favorite interaction with a first-time client previous to connecting in real life). This way, as you mentioned, both men can re-read the details right before the set encounter and in a concentrated moment. That being stated, and especially for my own safety, I must get a really great intuitive impression from a man if the sole communication is email.

 

I also always text my directions and follow up information after an actual phone or email conversation so it's "in print" and on his phone as he approaches my building.

 

(Somewhat as a side note, one of the sweetest rewards of this work is checking my email in the morning and sipping my coffee while taking in a long, heartfelt email detailing everything from childhood sexual abuse to failed attempts at newlywed throating. Email - which can allow for more extensive expression in contained, quiet moments - has an incredible capacity to humanize someone one has yet to meet. I relish these messages. They validate my humanity and that of the man on the other end of the conversation.)

[Alec Andrews]

This is an interesting thread. I think the nugget to stash away here is that malleablility, like most things in life, is the key to success whether escort, client or human being.

 

We all prefer doing things different ways. I find myself in the minority concerning texting. Texting is my #1 preferred method of communication for a number of reasons.

 

1. It is instant.

2. I can (and ALWAYS try to) respond immediately... or can wait until a more appropriate time to respond... say if I'm with another client or my family or what have you.

3. It gives me the opportunity to be direct yet kind, get to the point of the communication and cut through the bs. I find that many guys just call and get off on dirty talk.

4. Most importantly... it helps me identify my ideal client demographic. Modern. Available. Up to date with Technology.

5. Protection. I can use my written and thoughtful words to keep myself out of trouble.

 

#2. Emails... I love them. They give me the opportunity to get a more in depth idea of what my clients interests are... setting me up for the perfect experience and success. However... They sometimes get out of hand and become novels... which is why they are #2. I can't tell you how many potential clients want me to write them back on all the things I offer and want to do. I'm not here to help you get off to a fantasy at home. I'm here to set up an appt. and offer an in person or Skype experience that we can both enjoy.

 

#3. Phone Calls. I don't mind phone calls when they are professional and to the point. "Hi... I'm Alec... When can I see you. Great. Let's touch base the morning of... etc... " But I get beyond extremely uncomfortable when a client starts to go into details about expectations and then also compensation. He wants to know what he is getting.... understandable... but Los Angeles sadly has entrapment forces running rampant which has molded how I communicate. So I have to be a tad curt and cut them off... leaving them with a bad taste in their mouth that I am not professional. It's a very fine line. Texting I can mold the conversation and protect both myself and the client.

 

Bottom line... I always try to communicate how the client prefers, even if my preference is texting. The customer is always right and I try to please them from my very first communication to the final moment of explosive, eyes rolling back in the head, ecstasy.

 

2 cents... deposited.

 

Cheers Boys.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

When five different escorts have weighed into this thread saying that texters don't show up, maybe there's something there. Clients have one data point: themselves. Cumulatively the escorts who have replied to this thread have thousands of data points. Yes, there are some folk who text and show. Like Juan says, it's not worth weeding through the 95% of the rest to get to that one.

 

Prospective clients are welcome to use any method of communication they chose. Escorts can weigh their experience and chose whether to respond. Were I to be on the hiring side of the equation, I would chose to keep company with those clients who come through versus those who do not.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Kevin, I'll gladly be #6.

 

It's my experience that there are texters and there are txtrs. It's like Goofus and Gallant—the latter uses texting as an introduction or as a way to get your attention to let you know they just sent you an email. I actually do this as well, to give a potential client a sense of immediacy and to let them know to be expecting more information from me.

 

Txtrs say things like "avail?" and "ur hot" and "lol." In almost 12 years of escorting, I've never had one of these pan out to be a real client.

[RyanDean]

That's very funny, Chris.

Also squares with my experience on the other side.

(And, yes, I'm totally a texter.)

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Did I get latter and former mixed up? I never can remember that shit.

[BabyBoomer]

Chris- You're gonna have to settle for being #7. Alec Andrews grabbed #6 shortly before you posted. Lol

 

~Boomer ~

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Chris- You're gonna have to settle for being #7.

 

Well it wouldn't be the first time.

[tanman4u]

Well this is certainly a timely (for me) thread. I'm in the middle of making arrangements to meet up with one of this site's highest rated and beloved guys. I just wrote a long email to him that started out with "First of all pardon my long email" and ended (5 paragraphs later) with "Again, sorry to take up your time with along email. I've never written a diatribe like this before as most of my hires have been guys who have been online at the time I was looking. I've never really planned anything like this, this far in advance. You'll be by far the highest rated, and highest regarded, escort I've ever been with. Now I feel like some blushing teen aged girl writing a note to the hot jock in her class.....LOL."

Part of the email was answering questions he had about timing and location and the rest was to detail what I was looking for as I may have him help me enter into the BDSM world.

I much prefer emails for a couple of reasons. First is that I'm normally at work in international waters and while I have full internet capabilities and only phone I can use is a company one. I sent him my cell phone number with the caveat that it won't work until I'm heading to the states. The second is that I know he can read it (or not) at his leisure, and answer it (or not) at his leisure too. If I call I don't know whether it's a good time to chat or not. I can take my time and put my thoughts together in an email. I'm hoping that he realizes that I'm serious as I have provided a phone number, links to my A4A profile(s), and my screen name here.

 

So count me in for 1) email 2)phone call followed by 3) texting as the way to communicate.

 

BTW the vast majority of guys I've hired have been more of the one word text/email reply but that's probably because my usual choices run more towards the "right now thuggish black guy" types and communication isn't normally the skills I'm hiring them for.

[Ajac]

Personally I have my valet drop off a calling card. If they respond by a note attached to homing falcon, I will have them vetted by a team of Daddy's board members. I then compose a lengthy prose on Egyptian parchment with my favorite quill. Then it will be hand delivered by an Orphan dressed as a 19th century street urchin. If all is agreeable we will meet…

Unless little Ajac say's "Me want sex now!" then a one word text exchange is fine.

[Juan Vancouver]

Personally I have my valet drop off a calling card. If they respond by a note attached to homing falcon, I will have them vetted by a team of Daddy's board members. I then compose a lengthy prose on Egyptian parchment with my favorite quill. Then it will be hand delivered by an Orphan dressed as a 19th century street urchin. If all is agreeable we will meet…

Unless little Ajac say's "Me want sex now!" then a one word text exchange is fine.

 

 

I think all that is perfectly fine. Just one word of warning: Your orphan has been distracted playing on his iphone more than once and frankly it completely ruins the almost perfect 19th century effect. Please tell him to at least hide his damned phone next time he delivers the parchment.

 

Best regards!

[Guest RexB]

My first choice for contacting an escort is email because I like to give a short description of what I'm looking to do with him. If he's into it he'll respond, if not I'll never hear from him. Only once did a guy actually respond to tell me that he was not the guy for me based on my particular interest, and I really appreciated that kind of courtesy. I also always give a brief 5-or-6-word description of myself so they have an idea of what I look like.

Some escorts' ads say "No emails; I don't check my emails" which just sounds weird to me. Who in this day and age doesn't check emails? I wanted to contact one such 'no-email' guy once so I texted him and what would have been a medium-length message by email standards made for a long message by text standards, I admit. His reply was simply, "Too long story". It left me totally cold and there was no way I wanted to pursue him after that. I thought of apologizing and attempting to repair the situation, but then my better sense took over and I figured I had been spared a poor or, at best, mediocre experience with someone who has the attention span of a gnat.

And as far as being too busy to string together a few words goes, the truth of the matter is that such stinginess with words takes up a lot more time in setting something up because you both have to keep asking more questions and waiting for the responses to come in, which sometimes have such long pauses between your message and their response, sometimes as much as a day or more.

[bostonman]

As someone who gets texts all the time, with things like "Hey" "whats up" "saw your ad", my response is usually like..."you'll have to give me more than that, or please call me to discuss getting together".

 

A text like "Hi, I saw your ad, I'm very interested in meeting, I'm thinking Wednesday, if you're available please let me know", will grab my attention much more and will get a more in depth lengthy response. One must remember, approach is EVERYTHING.

 

That's exactly it.

 

As a client, I tend to prefer starting with emails, but the same sense of things applies. I'll always start with a friendly greeting and also probably express some specific interests or things I liked about the escort's ad, etc - and if I get a similarly friendly response back, it's a green light from there. If I get back something like "wen u wanna meet?" that might be the end of it right there. No essays needed, but there has to be some sort of human touch in the writing. After all, this wants to lead to 2 humans actually touching lol.

[Kevin Slater]

Some texts lately show up without a phone number at all, there's just an email address. Those are about as productive as a call from a blocked number.

 

I should also clarify that once we've met, I'm happy to book via text.

 

Kevin Slater

[TUOT89]

I've recently tried to contact an escort who ONLY lists his email address as a mode of contact. No phone or text numbers are available. No rates for his services are listed in the ad.

 

Trying to be both concise and informative, I wrote in my first email, "Hey, there, I really like the pictures and description in your ad. I'm 35, blonde and blue, top/versatile, and into most of the activities listed in your profile. I would like to set up an appointment at your earliest convenience, preferably for two hours so that we can have a drink first, before heading home. Could you please let me know the compensation for your time, and what evenings would be best for you? Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you."

 

His eloquent reply, "Hey man! Great!"

 

[...] His second email response, "Outcalls only."

 

[...] There's only so much work I'm going to do before saying, "Next!"

 

When I text or email, I always specify a date, time and duration. I want the escort to know that I am serious about meeting. (Like you did, I also ask for a rate quote upfront.)

 

If he accepts the request, I can set up the meeting in two texts/emails by me, four total since the good escorts will usually acknowledge my last text/email. (I worry when they don't)

 

I know that isn't much if you are trying to get a feeling for the guy's character. Perhaps, I rely much to much on the ad to do that kind of work.

 

In my experience, the better escorts will try to prolong the conversation beyond my two texts/emails by inquiring about my own likes an dislikes. Some will want to know this information before they confirm the date/time. That's always a good sign.

 

Not sure what I would have done in your situation. If the guy had a good ad, I might be more willing to accept the short answers. But if I am still trying to figure out whether or not to meet the guy, the terse replies would be a sign to move on.

[Guest RexB]

I'm basically into only one thing sexually but with variations in position, etc., so when I contact an escort I always tell him what I'm looking to do and if he's into it to please get back to me. It's important to me to detect at least one smidgen of enthusiasm on his part if he does respond. If he replies with one word like"yes" or "sure" I take that as an acceptable response, though something more like "Yeah, I love that" or "That sounds hot", ("That's my favorite thing" makes it a definite as far as I'm concerned) immediately increases the chance that I'll pursue hiring him.

 

However, "When do you want to meet?" with no reference at all to what I proposed in my initial message just doesn't bode well. In the first place, often I don't know when I want to or can meet and sometimes I'm just checking him out for a future date. So when I say I don't know right then perhaps he thinks I'm just fooling around. I'm not into non-communicative guys so I want to weed out the ones who are stingy with their replies.

 

Being 63, maybe it's a generational thing, but I find it difficult to adjust to the current lack of courtesy that feels quite free to not give responses one way or the other, and I'm not talking just about escorts here. Who enjoys not receiving adequate responses to their own messages or no response at all to specific questions so why is this trend so rampant? Please don't give me that lame old catch-all "I'm very busy" excuse that is passed off as being so innocuous. What it's really saying is "You're very low on my list of priorities".