"'My Husband’s Not Gay", new reality TV show...

[marylander1940]

A new reality show featuring men who say they are attracted to men but do not identify themselves as gay is stirring up real-life controversy as thousands have signed a petition to stop the show.

 

“My Husband’s Not Gay” features what its network, TLC, calls “unconventional Mormon marriages.” Of the men featured in the show who are married, they are shown alongside their wives, who know about their husbands’ preferences and try to make their marriages work.

 

https://gma.yahoo.com/husband-not-gay-reality-show-faces-backlash-143939124--abc-news-tv.html

[gallahadesquire]

From what I saw of the acting, I'd say they're not Thespians, either.

[BSR]

I can't imagine these married-to-a-woman gay men would ever consent to it, but I'd love to see what would turn up in a search of their Internet browsing histories and smartphone activity logs. How many of these men have hired escorts? How many have hooked up via Grindr? Revealing that information is the kind of reality TV I'd wanna see!!

[maninsoma]

As with most "reality" TV, I question how legitimate these stories are. Not that there aren't men who are sexually attracted to men married to women, but adding to that that the wives know and that both parties agreed to have their relationships examined on television? Sorry, but it stretches my ability to suspend disbelief to think that the producers of this show actually found couples that fulfill all those criteria. As with most so-called reality shows, I simply think these people are wannabee actors.

[BSR]

I've only seen the preview (the special doesn't air until next Sunday), but gotta say, if Jeff (Tanya's husband) is just acting, then give that guy an Emmy right this red-hot minute!! He plays a closeted cocksucker better than any real-life closet case I've ever met!

[anotherjohnindupont]

some of the women in the show look like men, maybe their husbands are gay after all.

[Rudynate]

I was thinking about this question just the other day and googled it - men who identify as straight but who have sex with other men. It appears to be a fairly common phenomenon. I don't see why they couldn't. Gay men who have sex with women are commonplace. Why not the opposite?

[justaguy]

I'm with maninsoma in not believing the "reality" of reality of TV. But then again, I still refuse to accept the legitimacy of the phrase "reality star."

[SteveEscort]

You guys might want to read my blog post from a few months back, exploring this subject

 

I might want to add that when I recently approached this subject I was shouted down on here. Being told that there is no way most of my clients are men who identify as being heterosexual. What absolute nonsense. I rarely see gay men. Most of my clients are men who are married or who identify as being straight. It's a popular misconception that gay escorts see gay men. They don't.

 

My blog post

 

http://stevegayescort.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/my-gentlemen-friends-are-not-gay.html

[Rudynate]

You guys might want to read my blog post from a few months back, exploring this subject

 

I might want to add that when I recently approached this subject I was shouted down on here. Being told that there is no way most of my clients are men who identify as being heterosexual. What absolute nonsense. I rarely see gay men. Most of my clients are men who are married or who identify as being straight. It's a popular misconception that gay escorts see gay men. They don't.

 

My blog post

 

http://stevegayescort.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/my-gentlemen-friends-are-not-gay.html

 

 

 

With one exception, WRT sexual orientation, I accept people as being what they say they are. If a guy says he's straight, I accept him as being straight, even if he goes for men occasionally. The only time I don't is if what somebody says is really at odds with his behavior, e.g. someone who says he's straight but seems to have sex mostly with other men.

[SteveEscort]

Yes I totally agree

[Becket]

As one who was married for many years and tried his best to make it work, I sympathize with those in that situation. In my time "coming out" was a more complicated and treacherous event, and for a while I thought I really did like women. (I think I'm still confused in many ways with the whole issue of sexual identity.) I'm not sure I appreciate the issue being reduced to reality TV for the titilation of an audience. At any rate I'll stick to "Looking" on HBO, or old QaF reruns. Cheers......

[SteveEscort]

As one who was married for many years and tried his best to make it work, I sympathize with those in that situation. In my time "coming out" was a more complicated and treacherous event, and for a while I thought I really did like women. (I think I'm still confused in many ways with the whole issue of sexual identity.) I'm not sure I appreciate the issue being reduced to reality TV for the titilation of an audience. At any rate I'll stick to "Looking" on HBO, or old QaF reruns. Cheers......

 

Any you're the type of gentleman I see today

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

A better name would be "Oh, He's Gay All Right."

[+ SundayZip]

I appreciate that public health professionals tend to use the term "men who have sex with men (MSM)" instead of "gay" or "bisexual". Gay and Bisexual are labels that frighten or alienate many men who have sex with men. I recently learned that HIV/Aids prevention campaigns in Cuba do not use the terms Gay or Bisexual. Too many "men who have sex with men" would assume that the message is not for them.

[namchebaz]

To each his own. But this makes me sad. For everyone involved.

 

http://www.npr.org/2015/01/04/374857829/a-pastor-moves-past-his-attraction-to-men-and-so-does-his-wife

[+ friendofsheila]

Maybe we'll never get to see it, just like that contest show "Dude, I'm Totally Gay" that got cancelled before airing.

[+ quoththeraven]

To each his own. But this makes me sad. For everyone involved.

 

http://www.npr.org/2015/01/04/374857829/a-pastor-moves-past-his-attraction-to-men-and-so-does-his-wife

 

I don't agree with his interpretation of the Bible, but if that's what it is and it's important to him, what's so bad about it? Plenty of people who are sexually incompatible in one way or another marry. People who've had better sex with others marry. There are tradeoffs.

 

Yes, he may have been happier with a man. And this may not work. That (in a more general sense) could be said about many marriages, gay and straight.

 

What makes me more sad is when the wife doesn't know about it going in and then things go south. That is much, much worse.

[+ quoththeraven]

I appreciate that public health professionals tend to use the term "men who have sex with men (MSM)" instead of "gay" or "bisexual". Gay and Bisexual are labels that frighten or alienate many men who have sex with men. I recently learned that HIV/Aids prevention campaigns in Cuba do not use the terms Gay or Bisexual. Too many "men who have sex with men" would assume that the message is not for them.

 

It's not just that, though; a large part of the reason the term is used is because it's more precise. Behavior is observable, more objective and less subjective. Orientation is open to endless interpretation. The person involved may be too close to the situation to classify herself or himself objectively, but everyone else is too far away. So social scientists and public health researchers shy away from terms denoting orientation and go with the one that describes behavior.

 

Won't bore you with a discussion of why preference is imo a better term to use than orientation if you want to go beyond behavior to some sort of classification, but that's a stab at the beginning of it.