Terminating an appointment/a session.

[+ WhamIAm]

Kinda new to hiring and got to thinking about this after a guy showed up about 30 minutes late without notice or explanation and I sent a text to wave him off just as he was arriving. When he got there, I told him I was no longer interested (mostly because he didn't get in contact and didn't explain when he got there.) He was, to say the least, not happy, but I wasn't inclined to compensate him for wasting a half-hour of my life. Wondering what the consensus is/what other people do about my financial obligation for his time/travel if I cancel or terminate early when the following happens (and do other clients reading this have specific cutoff times for the first two):

 

• Guy is late without any contact
  
• Guy is late and keeps in contact, but keeps extending the time it's gonna take him to get there.
  
• Guy is pretty obviously drunk or stoned.
  
• Guy's pics are either not him or from a long (long) time ago.
  
• After a brief conversation (say 10 to 15 minutes) it's clear that one or the other of us is clearly not into spending any more time together.
  
• Guy declines to get into areas clearly discussed and/or in his ad.
  
• We'd planned a longer appontment, but I'm just not into spending any more time together.
  
• Guy is objectively rude, scary, or bat shit crazy.
  

 

 

 

Just curious, or overthinking, but having gotten into an awkward confrontation with my one experience, just interested in what's reasonable and what's not.

[maninsoma]

From a client perspective:

 

I think waiting a reasonable amount of time makes sense. What's reasonable? Obviously different people have different opinions. If 30 minutes is beyond your tolerance limit for lateness, perhaps you could politely mention that when making appointments. Something along the lines of, "I have a very tight schedule, and if you're more than X minutes late I'm afraid I'll have to cancel our appointment." At least that guy will have a heads up to either be on time (or close to it) or simply decline your request if he knows he has difficult getting to appointments on time.

 

As to someone continuing to extend the time it will take him to arrive, it depends on the context. Is it a visiting escort whose plane was delayed? If so, that can really screw up someone's schedule since it might also delay ground transportation, hotel check in, etc, and he might not know his way around where you live that well. I'd give someone in that situation much more leeway than someone local who simply plans poorly. I'd say the second contact indicating that they are further delayed would be met with, "Don't bother now. This isn't going to work out."

 

If a guy is too intoxicated to perform -- extremely intoxicated -- send him away as soon as he arrives with no pay. If you insist on someone who is clean and sober, however, with no hint that he might have had a drink recently, then you should make that explicit when requesting an appointment. I think it would be unreasonable to not pay guys who show up but who have imbibed a little unless you've explicitly stated in advance that you will not tolerate that.

 

Guy's pics aren't him or are very old -- send him away as soon as he arrives with no payment.

 

After a brief conversation you don't have the desire to go further. PAY HIS ENTIRE FEE and send him away. You're not doing an interview for a job. You're hiring someone for a job. Sometimes you might not be as excited as you hoped you would be, but unless there was some misrepresentation then you owe it to the guy to pay him.

 

If someone declines to get into areas you've discussed with him, then you should discuss that in the moment. Is he avoiding rimming you because your ass hasn't been washed since yesterday? Does he not want to French kiss you because you have a tooth rotting in your mouth? Do you have warts on the base of your penis and the guy doesn't want to go down on you? Surely it puts the escort in a difficult position to have to offer what might be perceived as unkind criticism, but if's better to have the conversation than to jump to the conclusion that the guy is simply a liar about what he does and doesn't do with clients.

 

As to appointment length, don't commit to a longer than one hour appointment unless you've already met the guy. If he's comfortable with it, you can say something along the lines of, "If things are going well, I'd be interested in a longer appointment if your schedule permits that." But don't expect to have your cake and eat it, too, so to speak. In other words, why should some escort block off an entire evening for someone only to be told in person that the client changed his mind, wants him to leave after an hour, and -- oh, by the way -- I'm only going to pay you 25% of what you anticipated. That's unreasonable.

 

If a guy is scary, then ask him to leave immediately. I'm not sure what you mean by "bat shit crazy." I've met some guys who came across as living at least in part in a fantasy world, but I didn't find them scary. It certainly diminished my connections with them and caused me to not repeat with them, but it wasn't anything that caused me to feel like I had to run away immediately. And "objectively rude" is an even more difficult judgment call. What some might perceive as rude others might perceive as just being direct. So, if you mean something like the escort denigrates you personally such that there's no way you can enjoy yourself with him, then it makes sense to end the appointment immediately. Otherwise, suck it up and hope you do a better job at screening the next time you hire.

[+ WhamIAm]

maninsoma -- thanks for the good advice. I'm on the same page most ways down the line. I love a good bourbon, so I'm thinking more somewhere between more than a little tipsy and falling down drunk. You raise a really good point for me to think about in that I haven't booked one-hour appointments in the past. They always struck me as playing beat-the-clock and not really giving you a chance to connect. One question in my mind was whether, if we terminate early, to pay for time spent (an hour minimum unless it was an immediate non-starter -- wasted, misrepresentation) or time booked. You've made me think to use a little more restraint when booking, and making sure we can go over the original time if we're both so inclined.

 

Luckily, I have all my teeth, good hygiene, and, thankfully, am wart free. ;)

[rvwnsd]

Another client's perspective:

• Guy is late without contact: When a guy hasn't arrived by ten minutes after the appointment time, I text him for an ETA. They typically reply. I had one instance where the guy just couldn't find parking and (said he) wasn't able to pull over and text me. He called upon parking his car (about 20 minutes late), I kept the appointment, and we had a great time.
  
• Guy is late and keeps in contact, but keeps extending the time it's gonna take him to get there: Unless I am on a tight timeframe or the later and later time will be too late, both of which I would communicate to the escort, I don't cancel.
  
• Guy is pretty obviously drunk or stoned: Hasn't happened to me, but if it did I would send him on his way with no payment.
  
• Guy's pics are either not him or from a long (long) time ago: My first inclination is to say I would send him on his way with no payment, but if I found him to be attractive I would probably go through with the appointment
  
• After a brief conversation (say 10 to 15 minutes) it's clear that one or the other of us is clearly not into spending any more time together: This also hasn't happened, but if it did and he cut it short, then he gets paid for time spent. If I cut it short, he gets paid for the appointment.
  
• Guy declines to get into areas clearly discussed and/or in his ad: For me, this depends on what he declines to do and the reason he declines. If he says he kisses and then doesn't, I wouldn't ask him to leave, but I wouldn't hire him again, either. If he said he loved to get sucked and rimmed and then wanted to suck me off instead, I would remind him about what I hired him to do and if he still wouldn't do it I would send him on his way without payment. I did have a guy who kept pushing my hand away from my cock (yes, my cock) and after asking him to stop doing that I finally stood up, told him the appointment was over, and left him without paying.
  
• We'd planned a longer appointment, but I'm just not into spending any more time together: He would get paid for the appointment. That's only fair.
  
• Guy is objectively rude, scary, or bat shit crazy: This also hasn't happened, but if it did he would be asked to leave and not get paid. If he did not leave the police would be called.
  

 

Personally, I would not be so put off by a guy arriving late or requiring a follow-up text from me that I would cancel the appointment when he arrived. However, there comes a point where "late" turns into "probably not showing up" or into "this has become a waste of my time." As I stated above, I send a text or call requesting an ETA when they have not arrived on time. Sometimes, I will send a text a half hour or so early to confirm we are still on at the appointed time. Some escorts have sent me a similar follow-up or check-in text, particularly when I am driving a long distance to get there. Which leads to a question: was the escort traveling via public transportation or driving a long distance to get to you, which could explain a late arrival? I used to hire a guy who would come over after the gym that was on campus at his school. The journey required two buses. Our city's public transit system is notoriously off-schedule, so he would often text me saying "still waiting for the bus." Mind you, this wasn't five minutes after he was supposed to arrive, but at times he would be very late. Finally I suggested I pick him up.

[+ WhamIAm]

Thanks, rvwnsd. After the feedback, I think I'm probably in the same place as you guys, just want to make sure on one side I'm fair, on the other side I'm not being taken for a mook. The comments have been a good sanity check, and, like you guys say, it all depends on the circumstances.

 

In my case on the timing issue, when we set up the guy told me he lived in the neighborhood and only a 5 minute walk from my hotel. Still, you're a far more patient guy than I. Absent any heads up and/or things like travel, dead cell phone, etc, (and some level of being apologetic) my head falls out of the game after about half an hour. I think I do all I can to respect a guy's time. I expect my time to be respected as well. (I'm even more impatient professionally when folks don't show up on time and don't advise, to the occasional annoyance of others. My personal peeve.) Cheers.

 

PS-- the guy who didn't want to stroke yourself -- that seems pretty odd. Maybe he was just trying to make sure he was as full-service as he could be;)

[Guest ChrisW]

Any good escort you hire will take there job seriously and be professional about that. Treat this like any other job, would you show up drunk/stoned? 30 min late without notifying anyone? Looking sloppy? Of course not! When you know your going to be late, even 5 minutes, you notify the client. That being said there are many guys that treat this as an easy way to get money and half ass it. I think it might be in your best interest to go for someone reviewed, has some measure of professional pictures, and has a well written ad.

[BaronArtz]

I would be more interested in hearing what the reasons are an escort would terminate an appointment. Clients can be late, sloppy, drunk or demanding too. This is not a one way street.

[rvwnsd]

Thanks, rvwnsd. After the feedback, I think I'm probably in the same place as you guys, just want to make sure on one side I'm fair, on the other side I'm not being taken for a mook. The comments have been a good sanity check, and, like you guys say, it all depends on the circumstances.

 

In my case on the timing issue, when we set up the guy told me he lived in the neighborhood and only a 5 minute walk from my hotel. Still, you're a far more patient guy than I. Absent any heads up and/or things like travel, dead cell phone, etc, (and some level of being apologetic) my head falls out of the game after about half an hour. I think I do all I can to respect a guy's time. I expect my time to be respected as well. (I'm even more impatient professionally when folks don't show up on time and don't advise, to the occasional annoyance of others. My personal peeve.) Cheers.

 

PS-- the guy who didn't want to stroke yourself -- that seems pretty odd. Maybe he was just trying to make sure he was as full-service as he could be;)

 

Living in a big city where traffic and parking can be difficult, I don't interpret lateness as a disregard for my time. However, if a guy lives five minutes away, he better be on time. Like I said, I text at 10 minutes late.

 

The guy who kept pushing my hand away from my cock told me that his cock should have been pleasure enough. After politely reminding him twice that I wanted to stroke myself while sucking him and he persisted to push, I left. I intended to write a review, but his ad was down by the time I got home and his phone was disconnected, so it was a moot point.

 

All that being said, I don't go into appointments planning what to do if it does not go the way I want it to. I focus on having fun.

[Guest ChrisW]

I would be more interested in hearing what the reasons are an escort would terminate an appointment. Clients can be late, sloppy, drunk or demanding too. This is not a one way street.

 

You hit all 3 big reasons for canceling an appointment. I have had someone move the time back an hour then 15 min before they are supposed to arrive they move it back again and at that point I tell them I politely that to take a hike. When you fly across the country and pay for a hotel you aren't there just to see them, there are other appointments to be made.

 

I have had clients who tell me while they are on there way, "do you mind if I partied a bit" before they arrive which is another reason to cancel. Another aspect of being sloppy is not bothering to clean out properly because someone is so far gone. I didn't sign up for scat scenes *sobs in a corner*

 

Some clients want scenes with high production values which can be a lot of fun but its also a lot of work and there are times when I don't have the energy to put on a scene where the client is suspended from the ceiling and clowns ride around on unicycles.

[+ poolboy48220]

Some clients want scenes with high production values which can be a lot of fun but its also a lot of work and there are times when I don't have the energy to put on a scene where the client is suspended from the ceiling and clowns ride around on unicycles.

You mean there are times where you do have the energy for clowns and unicycles? I need to get out that way