The time to check is now.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

What with the arrival of Ebola, I decided to check my disaster preparedness kit in my bathroom and kitchen cabinets this weekend.

 

I have:

 

Water

20+ mini tubes of toothpaste, gathered from various hotels

4 mini clippers

6-7 toothbrushes in various states of use

16 tubes, pots or sticks of Blistex-type lip ointment

1000000000 condoms

4 dildos and 2 vibrators

1 Fleshjack

6-7 different ways to prepare for bottoming if the chemistry is right and it comes to that

1 empty box of Poptarts, which I ate during the preflight check

1 jar of peanut butter + 1 jar of honey (high-calorie foods that are relatively light)

1 jumbo industrial pump-action thing of Spunk lube

60 tablets of Berocca

4 rechargeable AA batteries + recharger/nightlight combo

2 bottles of white vinegar (because I read it’s useful)

Enough Ambien, Band-Aids and Claritin to sink a battleship

50 spf sunscreen

1 tooth whitening kit

1 small mini cooler (to discreetly hold sex toys)

My deceased mother’s hairbrush

1 Sharpie marker (for labeling purposes in the interment camp)

1 roll yellow duct-tape

1 Foot scrubby egg-thing

Various flavors of Campbell’s Chunky Soup

 

Naturally I’ll have to leave many things behind if I suddenly have to leave the apartment, but this is a good start, I guess.

 

What are you bringing to the party?

[Jax92]

1000000000 condoms? I'm bringing you!

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Oh and here's the link for suggestions:

 

Government Suggestions For Just-In-Case-There's-A-Disaster Kits

[armadillo]

Glad I am not the only prepper around on the Board.

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c9/Doomsday_Preppers_logo.jpg

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

UPDATE: I found another vibrator.

[+ Funguy]

My leather jock, complete with all of the requisite snaps. Got to be able to play.

[SteveEscort]

How did you get that many condoms, have you been down the clinic after every client to get checked out and get the freebies lol. They expire you know but they're still good, once expired they're perfect to use on toys

[wisconsinguy]

What with the arrival of Ebola, I decided to check my disaster preparedness kit in my bathroom and kitchen cabinets this weekend.

 

I have:

 

Water

20+ mini tubes of toothpaste, gathered from various hotels

4 mini clippers

6-7 toothbrushes in various states of use

16 tubes, pots or sticks of Blistex-type lip ointment

1000000000 condoms

4 dildos and 2 vibrators

1 Fleshjack

6-7 different ways to prepare for bottoming if the chemistry is right and it comes to that

1 empty box of Poptarts, which I ate during the preflight check

1 jar of peanut butter + 1 jar of honey (high-calorie foods that are relatively light)

1 jumbo industrial pump-action thing of Spunk lube

60 tablets of Berocca

4 rechargeable AA batteries + recharger/nightlight combo

2 bottles of white vinegar (because I read it’s useful)

Enough Ambien, Band-Aids and Claritin to sink a battleship

50 spf sunscreen

1 tooth whitening kit

1 small mini cooler (to discreetly hold sex toys)

My deceased mother’s hairbrush

1 Sharpie marker (for labeling purposes in the interment camp)

1 roll yellow duct-tape

1 Foot scrubby egg-thing

Various flavors of Campbell’s Chunky Soup

 

Naturally I’ll have to leave many things behind if I suddenly have to leave the apartment, but this is a good start, I guess.

 

What are you bringing to the party?

Hi Chris,

This sooo reminds me when I was a kid and we talking about atomic bomb shelters. If my family built one, and no one else built one , guess how popular we would become? My maternal and paternal grandparents came from Germany. Among a number rooms in the basement, was a "Fruit Cellar." I spent hours trying to reconfigure that room in my mind so we could live. Simply having a a kit for survival, if the virus is in your room, u have a higher chance of contracting the illness. I refuse to get paranoid about. Take care of yourself, drink lots of water, and beware of people around you.

[rvwnsd]

My guess is they would require us to leave everything behind, what with Ebola being spread by bodily fluids, including saliva and sweat. However, they might allow us to keep our aluminum foil hats.

[bigvalboy]

One of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I did go to the closet to look in mine. I found:

 

1 eveready flashlight circa 1990? (batteries are dead)

1 am/fm radio with a broken antenna

2 granola bars, hardened and inedible?

1 folded aluminum plastic blanket thingy.

Twenty dollars in cash, which I removed and already spent.

1 Bic lighter, still works

2 boxes of dried boxed meals. Expiration 1995

1 map. Haven't a clue as to why that's in there.

2 small bottles of water, which had some funny things floating in them.

 

After seeing Chris's list, I'm a little ashamed. I have a lot of shopping to do.

[Diverdan]

I guess your list will depend on what kind of emergency it will be. I am well prepared to lose electric power, water supply, etc. and the typical first aid and related meds, but not sure how many condoms, lubricant, etc. I have, but since they do expire, not sure how many I want or need to keep. If it gets real bad, we will have to be ingenious to be able to have the fun we all like, IMHO. A serious question, especially for those of you in the DC area, NYC area, etc. Some of us in the hinter lands (also known by us as the GREAT MIDWEST, will have a bit more time and are probably not as desirable target as some other places.

[Steven_Draker]

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/f5/15/41/f51541fcdc804d6ba1952b70fe0613a4.jpg

[jawjateck]

Yep, I need to stock up on a few essentials.

[Guy Fawkes]

Where does one store a billion condoms?

 

Let's see... Condoms have a shelf life of about five years. So that would be about 200 million condoms/year. 365.24 days in a year, that's.... that's... that's... <Gulp!> Oh My!

 

http://blogs.reuters.com/photographers-blog/files/2012/02/01_mdf780280.jpg

 

1000000000 condoms

[Steven_Draker]

In case of a real Ebola threat, this might be more useful

 

http://imageshack.com/a/img537/1443/zzrtBZ.jpg

[justaguy]

LOL Math...you gotta love it!