When does weight become a consideration?

[+ Socalguy]

Hi, I was just wondering at what 'weight' would you prefer a client to advise you of beforehand? I realize that 250lb on a muscle man is totally different than a guy who has a gut and doesn't work out but assuming it's the latter, at what point would you appreciate a heads-up? Sorry if it's been discussed but I suck at searching threads.

[Kevin Slater]

Hi, I was just wondering at what 'weight' would you prefer a client to advise you of beforehand? I realize that 250lb on a muscle man is totally different than a guy who has a gut and doesn't work out but assuming it's the latter, at what point would you appreciate a heads-up? Sorry if it's been discussed but I suck at searching threads.

 

I have no issues with a man's weight, others do. If it makes you more comfortable that you've found one of the former and not the latter, by all means, mention it.

 

Kevin Slater

[Steven_Draker]

Weight is not a concern for me either, but I understand it's better to be upfront about it in the initial conversation while setting up the meeting, rather than being refused at the door. I don't think there's a 'threshold', as this is very personal and will vary greatly from one escort to another.

[Juan Vancouver]

Just like both Kevin and Steven I don't have any issue with weight. Reading your post, however, makes me think that perhaps you have been worrying a bit about the subject and might feel uncertain on whether it is necessary to "disclose" beforehand. I would say disclose, always. If you are afraid of how an escort might react to anything, let him know in advance. That way you will be more relaxed knowing that he will not be surprised about that. That still doesn't guarantee the success of the session, but will take your worry away.

[+ Funguy]

I would think (read, hope) that it would have more to do with cleanliness and hygiene and absolute value of the size.

[Mark Gordon]

Weight itself has never been an issue for me. My extra wide massage table will support 1,000 lbs., so we're good.

[+ Socalguy]

Weight itself has never been an issue for me. My extra wide massage table will support 1,000 lbs., so we're good.

 

LOL! yeah, that should cover it. Hell, that'd cover me and several friends. Thanks for the great responses guys.

[adriano46]

Weight itself has never been an issue for me. My extra wide massage table will support 1,000 lbs., so we're good.

 

At that rate Mark you could massage two or three together!!! Just kidding. Continue to mourn that fact I never called you when you used to be in NYC.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Hi, I was just wondering at what 'weight' would you prefer a client to advise you of beforehand? I realize that 250lb on a muscle man is totally different than a guy who has a gut and doesn't work out but assuming it's the latter, at what point would you appreciate a heads-up? Sorry if it's been discussed but I suck at searching threads.

 

Im a big guy and always tell that upfront -- describe myself and give stats

 

I'd rather know by email/phone than see that look at the door or both of us have a lousy time

[rossthebosssf]

My weight always fluctuates, so I'm always quick to disclose when I go from cub to bear size. I feel it's best to disclose so I know I'll get good service. While in a perfect world every escort would be attracted to all shapes and sizes, but they're not. I respect a guy who can be honest about that as I'd rather spend time with someone who is generally attracted to me.

[SteveEscort]

No, good escort, should have any issues with a clients, weight, looks, disability, age or whatever. If an escort has such hang ups, they're really in the wrong job because it's rare for a client to tell me anything about himself in advance, unless it's a longer appointment where I may be expected to travel and we've discussed various aspects of the appointment by phone or email.

[RPCny]

It's nice to hear from the guys that are comfortable with big men. Many years ago I actually dated an escort who was a chubby chaser. I'm going to be down in NYC next month and I'd love to find an escort who was a little more than comfortable with big men, but who really knows his way around a fat guy. I've been out of commission for a while and I'm ready to get back on the stick. I'm sure any number of you guys could throw me a good fuck. But I'm okay with my body and it'd nice to find an escort who really felt that way too.

[SteveEscort]

Give me a big guy over a skinny emaciated twink anyday

[down_to_business]

My opinion is that the whole idea about hiring an escort is about enjoying yourself. Enjoying myself does NOT include taking an ultra critical assessment of my self just so I can pick myself apart and then disclose anything and everything that might not be someone else's ideal. I believe it falls on the escort to disclose his prejudices in his advertising (whether that be weight, race, ethnicity, penis size, height, age, gender, body hair, religion, etc. etc.).

[Juan Vancouver]

My opinion is that the whole idea about hiring an escort is about enjoying yourself. Enjoying myself does NOT include taking an ultra critical assessment of my self just so I can pick myself apart and then disclose anything and everything that might not be someone else's ideal. I believe it falls on the escort to disclose his prejudices in his advertising (whether that be weight, race, ethnicity, penis size, height, age, gender, body hair, religion, etc. etc.).

 

In an ideal world where all escorts are robots and follow your rules this approach would work perfectly. All escorts would carefully list their biases and then they would perform automatically the same way every time with all clients.

 

We don't live in an ideal world and escorts -most of us- are not robots. There is always room for chemistry to be amiss and when that happens your time and money are wasted. You are paying a lot of money hoping to have a wonderful experience. It would only make sense to me that you would want to do everything in your power to ensure your experience will be as positive and fun as possible.

 

Give your escort all the necessary information and then give him leeway to not go ahead and book a session. Believe me, if after finding out some information about you the escort wants out, you don't want to meet him. If you met him you would only have a bitter, mechanical, lacklustre experience and you would both end up feeling worse than before.

 

I am not suggesting to take a hard look in the mirror and hate yourself. I am just saying that the more relevant information you share with your escort, the better the chances things will go well. After all we really don't know what is it that other people will find attractive. Some love really young men, some love mature or even very old. Some like them skinny, or muscular, some like them obese. Don't look for stuff you fear your escort might hate, just share with him who you are. Thats all.

 

Research, open up, disclose, communicate, ask, respond. Show up ready and with an open mind and if you remember you are dealing with another human being your experience will be so much more fulfilling and fun.

 

Or... stick to your guns, show up and brace yourself not knowing how he will react. It's entirely up to you.

 

If a client treats me as a service provider he will only get a service from me. If a client treats me as a human being he will definitely receive a genuine, personal, intimate connection.

[down_to_business]

...

 

I am not suggesting to take a hard look in the mirror and hate yourself. I am just saying that the more relevant information you share with your escort, the better the chances things will go well. After all we really don't know what is it that other people will find attractive. Some love really young men, some love mature or even very old. Some like them skinny, or muscular, some like them obese. Don't look for stuff you fear your escort might hate, just share with him who you are. Thats all.

 

Research, open up, disclose, communicate, ask, respond. Show up ready and with an open mind and if you remember you are dealing with another human being your experience will be so much more fulfilling and fun.

 

Or... stick to your guns, show up and brace yourself not knowing how he will react. It's entirely up to you.

 

If a client treats me as a service provider he will only get a service from me. If a client treats me as a human being he will definitely receive a genuine, personal, intimate connection.

 

I don't necessarily disagree with you. Maybe I just don't know how to do what you say without "taking a hard look in the mirror and hating yourself". So I chose not to. I am not in denial. That doesn't mean I lie about myself. It just means I don't hire escorts that seem to focus on my stats or demand my picture before meeting. I will tell you for absolute certain a good many escorts I have met do not live up to their advertised stats, information and/or pictures. At least I don't lie or mislead anyone. I haven't been turned away yet either, but I doubt I would be described as any escort's most dashing client either. I actually find myself rather average.

[Kevin Slater]

Great post, Juan.

 

Kevin Slater

[Steven_Draker]

"Some love really young men, some love mature or even very old. Some like them skinny, or muscular, some like them obese"

 

My personal needs are met in my private life. When I escort, my "preferences" are put on the side and my client becomes the center of the universe.

 

I never ask anyone to send me a picture. In the preliminary communication, I don't force anyone to disclose age, weight, race, skin color, religious background, political beliefs and so on ... I guess I must be really easy-going and opened-minded when I read other's reactions and horror stories online.

 

Good attitude towards the session is much more important than weight, age and any physical imperfection. Be yourself, come relaxed! You ARE beautiful!

[down_to_business]

"Some love really young men, some love mature or even very old. Some like them skinny, or muscular, some like them obese"

 

My personal needs are met in my private life. When I escort, my "preferences" are put on the side and my client becomes the center of the universe.

 

I never ask anyone to send me a picture. In the preliminary communication, I don't force anyone to disclose age, weight, race, skin color, religious background, political beliefs and so on ... I guess I must be really easy-going and opened-minded when I read other's reactions and horror stories online.

 

Good attitude towards the session is much more important than weight, age and any physical imperfection. Be yourself, come relaxed! You ARE beautiful!

 

And that's what I'm talking about.

 

Great post Mr. Draker.

[Juan Vancouver]

My personal needs are met in my private life. When I escort, my "preferences" are put on the side and my client becomes the center of the universe.

 

I never ask anyone to send me a picture. In the preliminary communication, I don't force anyone to disclose age, weight, race, skin color, religious background, political beliefs and so on ... I guess I must be really easy-going and opened-minded when I read other's reactions and horror stories online.

 

Good attitude towards the session is much more important than weight, age and any physical imperfection. Be yourself, come relaxed! You ARE beautiful!

 

You are wonderful, Steven. You make us all proud and inspire us all to be better. Every man meeting you will be a blessed man.

 

But maybe there are only twenty more escorts like you in the whole world.

 

I don't answer these questions to let people know how wonderful I am and why they should hire me instead of other escorts. As a matter of fact living in Vancouver I know I will more likely never meet most of the people in this forum. That is why my advise is not for people who are going to hire me. But it's not either for all clients wanting to meet Steven Draker or the other 20 good escorts with a heart of gold.

 

My advise is for most clients when they are trying to arrange a session with all other escorts, who are sadly not like you.

 

Most escorts lack that quality that Steven has. Most escorts are still human and will be prone to react to clients in an organic -and possibly unprofessional- way. It's not right. It is sad, but it is likely. And when that happens, it is painful for the clients, who are paying a lot of money to meet someone who is uncomfortable with them. And that sucks!

 

If I were a man looking to hire an escort to have a fulfilling experience and I don't have access to the 21 great escorts with a heart of gold, then I would try to do my best to make sure that I don't meet with people who would be uncomfortable with meeting me. I would give as much information about me as possible and would pay attention to the escort's response.

 

We have all read reviews where the escort was unable to perform. We have all read about escorts going on racist rampages in this forum and others and none of that was listed on their profiles. We all know that there are hordes of young kids who are not really called by the escort vocation and are not prepared to provide a consistent service, and would you not want our beloved clients, Steven, to avoid meeting them if they are not a good match? Would you not want the inexperienced escorts (you can replace inexperienced with Lousy if you want) to have a way out and avoid meeting a client with whom they won't be able to deal in a nice way?

 

I for one, sincerely hope that all clients and all men and women seeking a fulfilling intimate connection will only meet people that are a good match for them. I hope that they will meet you, the other 20, or if that fails, I hope they will be able to meet only with people who will be happy to see them when the door opens.

 

But I am weird that way.

[Kevin Slater]

You are wonderful, Steven. You make us all proud and inspire us all to be better. Every man meeting you will be a blessed man.

 

But maybe there are only twenty more escorts like you in the whole world.

 

I don't answer these questions to let people know how wonderful I am and why they should hire me instead of other escorts. As a matter of fact living in Vancouver I know I will more likely never meet most of the people in this forum. That is why my advise is not for people who are going to hire me. But it's not either for all clients wanting to meet Steven Draker or the other 20 good escorts with a heart of gold.

 

My advise is for most clients when they are trying to arrange a session with all other escorts, who are sadly not like you.

 

Most escorts lack that quality that Steven has. Most escorts are still human and will be prone to react to clients in an organic -and possibly unprofessional- way. It's not right. It is sad, but it is likely. And when that happens, it is painful for the clients, who are paying a lot of money to meet someone who is uncomfortable with them. And that sucks!

 

If I were a man looking to hire an escort to have a fulfilling experience and I don't have access to the 21 great escorts with a heart of gold, then I would try to do my best to make sure that I don't meet with people who would be uncomfortable with meeting me. I would give as much information about me as possible and would pay attention to the escort's response.

 

We have all read reviews where the escort was unable to perform. We have all read about escorts going on racist rampages in this forum and others and none of that was listed on their profiles. We all know that there are hordes of young kids who are not really called by the escort vocation and are not prepared to provide a consistent service, and would you not want our beloved clients, Steven, to avoid meeting them if they are not a good match? Would you not want the inexperienced escorts (you can replace inexperienced with Lousy if you want) to have a way out and avoid meeting a client with whom they won't be able to deal in a nice way?

 

I for one, sincerely hope that all clients and all men and women seeking a fulfilling intimate connection will only meet people that are a good match for them. I hope that they will meet you, the other 20, or if that fails, I hope they will be able to meet only with people who will be happy to see them when the door opens.

 

But I am weird that way.

 

Perfect, Juan.

 

Kevin Slater

[Steven_Draker]

OMG.

 

Juan, you're so wonderful at teaching what other people should do.

 

Thank you for this amazing post.

 

[cheerleading music cue]

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

From a client's perspective, I always include my stats including age, height and weight. If my weight is a problem for an escort or masseur, it gives the gentleman an opportunity to politely decline the appointment, "my apologies, I will be out of town attending my niece's kindergarten graduation" without mentioning it again. If he includes an offer for me to contact him in the future or proposes another time that would work, I know my stats are not an issue. If there is no such offer, then I take it as a subtle sign to not contact him again.

 

Any escort or masseur that includes a comment that see clients without regards to size get my first call. Any escort that states they will only see guys that are height and weight proportionate receive my thanks. I can quickly skip their ads just as I skip ads for escorts that are only bottoms.

[RPCny]

As others have noted, Juan hit the nail on the head. I think it's much the same as a bottom looking for a top or if the client is seeking a particular kind of scene. You will either be looking for information in the escort's profile or inquiring via email or text. The former is why I concur with sam's point about appreciating guys who mention that they see clients without regards to size, age, etc. That welcoming gesture is smart business. Juan's point about the human nature of this particular service is an important one. It's not simply purchasing a service, but a human, malleable one. Therefore, the sharing of all relevant information contributes to creating the most satisfying experience possible.

[Juan Vancouver]

OMG.

 

Juan, you're so wonderful at teaching what other people should do.

 

Thank you for this amazing post.

 

[cheerleading music cue]

 

Dear Steven,

 

I have to confess that I have been very conflicted lately, not entirely sure of how to proceed, but the situation now and again comes back to mind and I would like to find some closure.

 

I want to open this by saying that I sincerely respect you. We have never met but throughout the years I have seen you interacting online with escorts and clients alike and of course I have heard the warm accounts of your past clients, a testament to the love of our very difficult profession. Since the Hooboy days I have felt a kinship with you and you are the only escort still posting here from those days. In a way you feel like family, like an esteemed colleague. I also feel a lot of admiration for the passion with which you educate yourself and others on the subject of safe sex.

 

I find that escorting is often a lonely profession and it is not often that I find a colleague about whom I feel excited, I feel admiration and affection, even without having met.

 

It is clear to me, evidenced by our every day tighter interactions that I have done something that pissed you off, hurt you or makes you dislike me. If it is the latter I will simply learn to live with it; one can't be liked by everyone, not even by everyone that one likes. However, if I did anything to wrong you I would really love the opportunity to know what it was and to have a chance to make reparations. I have tried different approaches, and my last attempt to express my sincere admiration for you was tainted by the clumsy attempt of humour in my post.

 

Let me be clear. I do believe you posses very special qualities that make you a safe bet for anyone wanting to hire you, and I do believe there can't be more than 20 other male escorts in the whole world with such qualities.

 

We don't often see eye to eye on most subjects, perhaps the subject of safer sex being the exception, but I don't see why disagreement would breed contempt.

 

Sure, being often misquoted is annoying, being quoted out of context is not fun, having a subtle antagonist often eviscerating my every posts is not optimal, but what I really can't live with is the thought that I wronged you and I don't know it. That really, really sucks.

 

This is not a display for the public. I tried to do this in private but you stopped answering my emails. This is my sincere and wholehearted attempt to offer you an olive branch and let me repair my mistakes if I can, or help me learn to live with them, if I can't.

 

Don't hold back any punches. Tell it like you see it. I am a big boy and can deal with it.

 

Of course, I am also prepared to accept it if you decide that you don't want to go into it. I just want to make sure I am doing what I can.

 

Reach out to me, dude. This really sucks.

 

Sincerely, warmly,

 

Juan