How do you ask a guy if he is gay?

[BaronArtz]

First of all, I am sorry to be asking this question. I am a middle aged gay man living in NYC, and I should know better. My gaydar sucks, except in the most obvious of cases. Sometimes I 'feel' a guy is attracted to me, of vice versa, and I can't think of anything to say that would 'break the ice' so to speak. What is a polite, non-intrusive way of bringing it up? Thank you for your recommendations ...

[adannyboy]

In my day you could tell by a man's carriage and demeanor which side his bread was buttered on. But today? In this day and age? Who knows?

 

One thing I can tell you: All gay men have track lighting. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.

[armadillo]

Look for his Adam's apple.

[Mark Gordon]

Are you a friend of Dorothy's?

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

[bigvalboy]

Are you a friend of Dorothy's?

 

When I traveled with my gay ski club, whenever we would sign the guest book at a resort or restaurant, we would sign it "Friends of Dorothy" ...I still use that line today in discreet settings.

[Kevin Slater]

When I travel and am not sure, I might ask "can you recommend a fun place to go out?" The answer is invariably telling.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Gar1eth]

Look for his Adam's apple.

 

Ok so I'm gay and don't have one... So wow, I didn't realize none of us have one. I thought it was just me!!

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

First of all, I am sorry to be asking this question. I am a middle aged gay man living in NYC, and I should know better. My gaydar sucks, except in the most obvious of cases. Sometimes I 'feel' a guy is attracted to me, of vice versa, and I can't think of anything to say that would 'break the ice' so to speak. What is a polite, non-intrusive way of bringing it up? Thank you for your recommendations ...

 

I don't think there is a good way. I actually had to tell two older gay pen-pal friends what the term 'Friend of Dorothy' meant.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

In my day you could tell by a man's carriage and demeanor which side his bread was buttered on. But today? In this day and age? Who knows?

 

One thing I can tell you: All gay men have track lighting. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.

 

[video=youtube_share;lZ3MGEBR2GI]http://youtu.be/lZ3MGEBR2GI

 

Gman

[Steven_Draker]

I hate when someone is asking me if I'm gay. Yes, I'm gay ... I'm 100% G-A-Y

 

It's like I need to do some trick or number to prove that I'm gay or maybe I should just show him my imaginary Gay Card ...

 

[+ Gar1eth]

I hate when someone is asking me if I'm gay. Yes, I'm gay ... I'm 100% G-A-Y. Get over it!

 

It's like I need to do some trick or number to prove that I'm gay or maybe I should just show him my Gay Card ... [/color]

 

But maybe it's because you are European?

 

[video=youtube_share;9pCybcpkm5c]

 

Gman

[Steven_Draker]

And excuse me Sir, what do I have to do with the cliché used in that musical?

 

I have nothing in common with whatever this guys is trying to portray. I must be outside the "norm"

[Bosguy]

But maybe it's because you are European?

 

[video=youtube_share;9pCybcpkm5c]

 

Gman

 

You have reached new lows in your postings. This is so not relavant , but utterly stupid. You apparently have never met Steven or any of the other highly rated European working guys, cause this clip is so wrong of its depiction if these guys. Why don't you keep you comments and posts to guys you personally know instead of your off the wall comments of being a wanna be.

 

Boston Bill

[Steven_Draker]

Bill,

Gman and I have met (twice) a long time ago.

I know he meant his post to be humorous and lighthearted but alas it came out differently because of the stereotype.

 

Let's get back to the original topic and the question asked by the OP: "How do you ask a guy if he is gay?"

[dannyboynyc]

Some of the older ways of starting a conversation - i.e., asking about "Friends of Dorothy" - may not work with younger gays.

 

One way I heard about that did work years ago -

 

Say to someone in question - "clang, clang, clang" if he answers, "goes the trolley" he's gay

[Okliehomo]

Hilarious.

 

That would certainly work for my generation, but we have just traded one Judy Garland reference for another. So not sure if younger gays would get that, either.

[Daverwr]

Dannyboy,

 

Thanks for the Steel Magnolias reference. One of the great lines from that play/movie.

 

But, I must say - Just referencing the line shows you're Gay, Gay, Gay!

 

From One Gay to Another

[+ purplekow]

You might try something like, I was dating Bobby that is Bobby with a y not and i. What about you, do you date Bobbies with an i or a

 

Especially telling might be if he says he dates Liza with a Z not Lisa with an S because Liza with a z go zzzz not ssss. Or maybe that would be more confusing.

[Okliehomo]

Yeah, maybe a little, unless you are Fred Ebb... clever, though.

 

One time when I wasn't sure, I worked "nellie" into the conversation and the guy lit right up.... knew we were on the same team then.

 

But that too was around about 1000 years ago....I haven't dated in so long, I am dated.

[AdamSmith]

When I lived in NYC 3-4 years ago and became a regular at a few straight (more or less) bars in my neighborhood (Hell's Kitchen), it worked simply to ask, 'Are you gay?' if we had been conversing for a while, and the answer was not yet clear, and I thought I would like to take him home. A number of nice hookups resulted. And no one who was straight took offense; it was taken rather as a compliment.

[Okliehomo]

Or you could take him out for a hot dog......

 

http://mikemasters.tumblr.com/

 

The very first clip.... On what planet does that happen in public in front of all those seemingly straight people? It looks like they are tailgating at a football game... WTF?

 

Certainly not the frat boys that I remember..... if they were doing it (and some of them most definitely were) it was very, very on the sly..

[+ deej]

And no one who was straight took offense; it was taken rather as a compliment.

 

After a certain age, we're ALL just glad someone is showing interest.

[Steven_Draker]

What I wouldn't do is use "Are you gay?" as a pick-up line.

 

The guy might be gay, but just not that into you.

[Guy Fawkes]

"Excuse me, Are you Gay, Bi, Straight, None of the above, or another category altogether?"

http://fliponymous.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/lgbtq.jpg

[+ FreshFluff]

"Excuse me, Are you Gay, Bi, Straight, None of the above, or another category altogether?"

 

I

http://fliponymous.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/lgbtq.jpg

 

Where's the S? We straight people are tired of being invisible!