paying for a college education

[adriano46]

I have had a different experience - I have financially helped directly 4 former escorts with their education (2 with general courses, 2 for BS degrees). Of course this was NOT in the US and so the fees were much less than here.

 

In all 4 cases, the individual knew me (name and even address), and this never had any negative impact on me.

 

Three of the four know exactly what I do and where I work and have often stayed overnight in my home (and not on a hire, but they were passing through, and I had invited them to use the guestroom if they needed, which they did on rare occasions). Of these, only one is still getting financial assistance as he has a 4-year college degree program, but he pays 50% of the fees himself.

 

While putting out such a significant amount of $$ for an escort (without serves rendered) is not for most people, I applaud and admire those who can do this, who are not tied down with other responsibilities for their funds, and who are obviously generous men. The 4 guys I helped all had "father/parent" issues with no one to help them at home; while I know each is a strong individual and would have somehow, in some way made it on his own, the assistance offered gave them a sense of security and support they otherwise would have lacked.

 

I do also understand (and respect) the need for anonymity that some must have in this, and also admire all the great advice given to address that issue.

[jakeleyman]

I hate to keep bumping this thread, but there are some really nice responses here and I would like to acknowledge them.

[jawjateck]

Very very kind gesture on your part, and I hope it works out for you and the young man you desire to help. Don't over think it. You're not talking about alot of money, and unless you want to remain anonymous, it seems you could be clear and upfront about your gift and expectations, then just meet him for lunch about every 6 months, and ask him to produce 3 pieces of paper, his tuition receipt and his grade report for the previous semester and his registration for the current/next semester. Then reimburse him for his success in the past quarter, and hand him the cash. If he's making the grades and continuing his studies, I don't understand why you would entangle yourself with the school's finance office.

 

Oh, and it's wise on your part to protect your identity and personal information. Since I know some details about 3 past members of this forum who were blackmailed for a lack of discernment when sharing their personal information with an untoward service provider.

 

Good luck!

[lerbut23]

I honestly don't understand why this is so complicated.

I think it is admirable what you are trying to do although my life lessons tell me that no good deed goes unpunished.

 

He brings you the bill for his tuition - you give him a money order to pay it.

The next semester he brings you a bill for the tuition AND a copy of his report card/ transcript.

 

An attorney being involved in this seems like tremendous overkill. It's really no different than giving someone $1500 or whatever the tuition bill is.

[jakeleyman]

Ok thanks very much again. You have given me some good options. I can take it from here. Thanks guys.... and by the way, thanks for all the reviews of cute escorts. Wow, is it my imagination or do they just get better and better looking?

[Irtwo]

. Of these, only one is still getting financial assistance as he has a 4-year college degree program, but he pays 50% of the fees himself.

 

I think that might actually be a better way to do this. If the guy your helping has a financial stake in the endeavor, he'll be more likely to go to classes and finish the degree.

[+ friendofsheila]

I honestly don't understand why this is so complicated.

I think it is admirable what you are trying to do although my life lessons tell me that no good deed goes unpunished.

 

He brings you the bill for his tuition - you give him a money order to pay it.

The next semester he brings you a bill for the tuition AND a copy of his report card/ transcript.

 

 

I will add that giving the escort deadlines is very important. (deadline to bring transcripts, perhaps a time limit on finishing the degree)

 

Getting something for free with zero responsibilities attached is doing him a disfavor, in the long run, in my opinion.

[jimboivyo]

jesus what a pain in the ass this all sounds like

 

just give the kid his education and stop listening to those here with control issues. no need to make a mountain out of a molehill. in the end, it's just $5 k

[+ FreshFluff]

jesus what a pain in the ass this all sounds like

 

just give the kid his education and stop listening to those here with control issues. no need to make a mountain out of a molehill. in the end, it's just $5 k

 

Give the kid his education?

 

Spending $5000 on a non-family member's education without asking for anything in return is an extraordinarily generous move on Jake's part. In exchange for such a gesture, I think it's perfectly reasonable for the young man to provide evidence that he is at least registering for classes. Men and women in their early to mid 20s have a way of getting off track sometimes, and asking for evidence is certainly better than finding out later that some of the money had been spent on something else.

 

BTW, Jake, you might want to think of some possible contingencies: what you'll do if he fails a class and has to pay to retake it? What about failing three classes?

[Newly]

Escorting is not an inexpensive hobby. If you can afford to indulge, $5K should not be an amount that keeps you up at night. This is a cool thing that is being done for a kid who has had some bad breaks and made some bad choices; whether he takes advantage of it and follows through or messes up doesn't change the fact that the giver has earned his mitzvah or karma or whatever. Who knows, maybe what this kid needs is some responsibility for his own actions and the feeling that someone trusts him to make the right choices. If you start putting all sorts of conditions and constantly check up on him you're taking away what may be his first opportunity to take responsibility for his own actions and to be treated with trust and respect.

[+ WilliamM]

Who knows' date=' maybe what this kid needs is some responsibility for his own actions and the feeling that someone trusts him to make the right choices. If you start putting all sorts of conditions and constantly check up on him you're taking away what may be his first opportunity to take responsibility for his own actions and to be treated with trust and respect.[/quote']

 

Jake, the original poster, has never told us whether college was his idea or the young man's. True Jake told us a few things about the "kid," which point in the direction of a tough life without a huge amount of direction. But, we do not know that for sure.

It's quite possible that the escort is highly motivated, and all these controls are not needed, just the way Jake is used to handling his money.

 

All we know is that Jake made up his mind about college before his first post; he was only asking about how to set up the payments and how to handle verification of grades.

 

The thread was valuable, if only because so many people were surprised that the escort did not know the OP's name. I wonder if people would have responded to the same way when Hooboy started this site about fifteen years ago.

[+ friendofsheila]

jesus what a pain in the ass this all sounds like

 

just give the kid his education and stop listening to those here with control issues. no need to make a mountain out of a molehill. in the end, it's just $5 k

 

If $5K is nothing (and 4 years of a good education can run a LOT more), then he could have just forked over the cabbage in a check. But he wanted to do otherwise, and he might have had good reasons.

 

And it's pretty rare having someone handed that much money, no strings, and that young, who manages to spend it conscientiously, meted out over 4 years (assuming that someone can finish a degree in 4 years these days, which is pretty hard).

 

And I'll make the point again: giving someone young a great deal of privilege with zero responsibility attached, unless they've demonstrated REAL maturity with money and related responsibilities, is doing them no favor (in my opinion).

 

EDIT: my boo-boo. 4 semesters, not years.