anyone provide monthly stipend?

[jakeleyman]

I answered a Craigslist ad late last year and met a ripped, gdlkng and very nice college student and it turned out great. - just totally my type. I saw him a few times and I loved it. He recently told me he was getting a real job for the summer and would be getting away from this part time biz. I asked him what it would take to continue seeing him on a regular basis. He said he would think about it and later he quoted a figure per month which would cover his rent and would take his mind off that pressure even with his summer job. So I agreed to pay a monthly stipend and the arrangement is that we get together 2-3 times a month. I travel and 3 visits/month may be hard to schedule at times. I have started paying half at the first visit and will pay the other half the second meeting. The third would be left up to trust that he will show up, I suppose. This exact dynamic is new for me and am trying to get used to it. I can afford it and the rate seems reasonable. My attraction to the young guy exceeds most or all I have had in experiences across country, and my area has limited choices to begin with. Has anyone had a similar arrangement? Is this an arrangement which is pretty common? Any pitfalls I should look out for? I would like it to last.

[bigvalboy]

I had an arrangement like that for a very brief period years ago with a kid in Pattaya. It sounded good up front. I paid his rent, and food, with the promise that he be exclusive to me when I was there. It is not altogether uncommon for Americans to have that sort of arrangement. It worked for most of the rainy season and a little beyond, but I caught him being less than truthful on a couple of occasions, when I sent him Levi's from the US. He was re-selling them at a nice profit, on my dime. He also began asking for extra money, claiming financial hardship, so I ended the arrangement.

 

In your case however, if money for you is not an issue, I don't see any pitfalls. I think potentially it is a win win for both of you. Good Luck.

[Newly]

Sounds like it could be a win-win, but just one thing. How attracted are you to this guy? If it's just a physical thing and you have no problems with knowing that it is strictly a business arrangement that's great, but if there's anything else developing aren't you putting yourself in a position where by being so involved in his life you may develop some feelings that will cause problems? Just wondering because of some of the language you used in your post.

[jawjateck]

This is not an unusual scenario, although my impression is that this not a common practice among the members here. I did something similar for almost a year with a college student, who was/is a total jock, and a sweetheart. The stipend covered his living expenses, and we did 1-3 overnights per month depending on my availability. His availability was never an issue. He was always eager and ready to hook-up. Dinner, movies, ball games, and hot hot fun.....we just clicked well. It was good until he was ready to move on.....literally...to Florida. I was happy for him, as he prepared to put his degree to work and enter the professional workforce.

 

He was a rare guy, but I do not actively seek such an arrangement now, primarily because of the uniqueness of what I had with him. He provided companionship that is difficult to replicate.

 

Enjoy the ride. Have fun. If it works for both of you, it doesn't matter what others think. Keep your promises to him. Don't penalize him financially if your schedule interferes with meeting him. When it's time to move on, end it graciously and move on. When he is ready to move on, express your appreciation for all the fun times, and wish him well. Guard your feelings, and your bank account. If the terms become iffy or are subject to random changes, move on immediately. And by all means, do not reveal any personal info to him, about you, your work, or family. That info is not necessary to enjoy your time with him.

[MrMiniver]

I have a regular thing like this with a guy I met on CL more than 3 years ago. He's now 24, total jock, gorgeous, ripped body (I've tried getting him into modeling but he's not interested). I pay him around $600 per month and I see him around 3 or 4 times when I'm at my place in E Hampton. He always wants to stay over. It's almost become more like a "friend thing who I help out." Sometimes, I forget that I'm paying him and I think he forgets as well ... he's gone with me to the city a few times and really wants to go with me to Europe this summer.

 

I've never had the "too attached" problem because, at my age, I'm very realistic about the age difference and while we are friends I do know, in the end, that he's around for the money. Although I'll admit, it's not really that much money when you think about it.

 

So these kinds of things can work if you set boundaries and both parties really get what is going on.

[robberbaron4u]

I am in agreement with "bigvalboy: if you can afford, financially, to maintain such a relationship, and, moreover, if you have realistic expectations of the nature of the relationship, "go for it". My own experience, regretfully, with the thing has been that of bigvalboy.

[marylander1940]

I had an arrangement like that for a very brief period years ago with a kid in Pattaya. It sounded good up front. I paid his rent, and food, with the promise that he be exclusive to me when I was there. It is not altogether uncommon for Americans to have that sort of arrangement. It worked for most of the rainy season and a little beyond, but I caught him being less than truthful on a couple of occasions, when I sent him Levi's from the US. He was re-selling them at a nice profit, on my dime. He also began asking for extra money, claiming financial hardship, so I ended the arrangement.

 

In your case however, if money for you is not an issue, I don't see any pitfalls. I think potentially it is a win win for both of you. Good Luck.

 

Exactly!

 

If I was you I just tell him I would see him 3 times per month and I will pay him what I used to pay him before per session. Things get "lost in translations", so many stories on here of guys asking money in advance...

[+ FreshFluff]

*Small furry white head pops up* How about a hand job a week for half my rent?

 

It's not romantic, but I think it's important to discuss contingencies. Sure, if you're busy, the right thing todo is to pay him? But what if he's busy with sports or schools and You end up with fewer or shorter sessions. Are you still willing to pay full price? Better to clear that in advance.

[cany10011]

I had an arrangement of this sort with a bisexual irish/polish guy. Beautiful belami look. Was a great top as well as bottom. 2500 a month. Half in the beginning and the other half in the middle. We had 2 overnights weekly and traveled extensively together for about 2 years. He's happily married now to a woman and i'm quite happy for him.

 

 

 

Exactly!

 

If I was you I just tell him I would see him 3 times per month and I will pay him what I used to pay him before per session. Things get "lost in translations", so many stories on here of guys asking money in advance...

[gallahadesquire]

Never had this kind of relationship [unfortunately]. I think "just keep it professional" is the best thing to say.

 

I think jawjetek's words are the best to be heeded.

[Irtwo]

There are sites devoted to just that, like Seeking Arrangement. It can work out great with the right guy.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I'm 50. And this has been my usual practice since my 30s. I only hire once-offs when I'm traveling.

 

I never make such an arrangement with a professional persona. I need to know who he really is as a man, and also his real name, address, personal history, and circumstances. It's critical for you to know what you're supporting. Because, my friend, this isn't just a payment. You're involving yourself in his life. Is he short on cash because he's a student... or because he blows his money on drugs? You must be open about your own motives and boundaries. I tell them the truth: a man did this for me when I was young and I am very comfortable with it. I will treat you with respect and we will part as friends. My wife will know.

 

You must never gossip.

 

Also, I never make the commitment open-ended. I don't want to foster dependency or undermine a man's feelings of self-worth. Figure out what he needs. Offer to cover food and rent for the summer or the car and utilities until he graduates...

 

Boundaries boundaries boundaries. Otherwise, don't do it.

[Michael Wayne]

again: CRAIGSLIST. This OP adds further confirmation to my recent thread about CL. ..........and in a very positive light! I wish the OP well. Personally it happened to me when i was living in Ft. Lauderdale after I moved back from San Antonio. A client asked me roughly what i made a month as an escort and offered to match it along with paying my rent and buying me a new car. It was a no brainer choice on my end. The guy was very nice and was a great lover in the bedroom. He had a wife and kids which took alot of his time so I had my freedom to pursue my interests and hobbies on my own time. I called him my, "super client," aka SUGAR DADDY. Sadly a massive heart attack took his life far too young......... http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[TopGuy4940]

I may be unique but this is what my experience has been. About 6 years ago I was on hookup site and approached someone that I was very attracted to. He was not interested in me but when I asked if he escorted he said he had thought about it but never actually done it. Well, we arranged to meet and have been meeting once a month with a stipend for the last 6 years. I also take him on a trip once a year..last year we were in Italy and this year we're going to Prague, Vienna and Budapest. He doesn't escort with anyone else and he is gainfully employed with a good job and pay so this is just extra. He is 48 and I'm 65. Since we first met, we have become friends in many respects and I have become his mentor. It's not something I ever expected to happen but he is one of the joys in my life and I know he is very fond of me. Through the years, especially early on, I did struggle with my being in love with him but knew he didn't feel the same. I came to a place where I'm at peace with seeing him once a month and the nature of our relationship. I expect we will probably be together in this way for a long time.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I forgot that Jakeleyman's question had mentioned craigslist.

 

I am leery of craigslist. At least in major cities, hiring from craigslist is an easy way to get stung/assaulted/robbed/disappointed.

[JT Brooklyn]

As with other things as long as you can afford this "Hobby" knowing one day it can end and not of your choosing!

[MrMiniver]

I forgot that Jakeleyman's question had mentioned craigslist.

 

I am leery of craigslist. At least in major cities, hiring from craigslist is an easy way to get stung/assaulted/robbed/disappointed.

 

I don't know how easy it is. I know many people who have met people off CL for many, many years. Not a single one has been robbed or assaulted.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I don't know how easy it is. I know many people who have met people off CL for many, many years. Not a single one has been robbed or assaulted.

 

Point taken. I'm not very good at vetting guys by email.

[+ FreshFluff]

Point taken. I'm not very good at vetting guys by email.

 

How do you find the guys for arrangements?

[+ friendofsheila]

 

Also, I never make the commitment open-ended. I don't want to foster dependency or undermine a man's feelings of self-worth. Figure out what he needs. Offer to cover food and rent for the summer or the car and utilities until he graduates...

 

Boundaries boundaries boundaries. Otherwise, don't do it.

 

I like these comments.

 

I also would question anyone requiring exclusivity from either the client or the escort (The OP didn't mention this; others did.)

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I like these comments.

 

I also would question anyone requiring exclusivity from either the client or the escort (The OP didn't mention this; others did.)

 

I don't expect (or offer) exclusivity. These are not romantic relationships.

[+ FreshFluff]

For those who've had arrangements: Would you be willing to offer a stipend without intercourse, just frottage, kissing and manual with some oral? Most people probably wouldn't see that as fair, but what if you really like the guy?

 

I don't expect (or offer) exclusivity. These are not romantic relationships.

 

I though most arrangements had a romantic element to them. But for some clients, maybe it's just repeated sessons on their terms.

[MrMiniver]

For those who've had arrangements: Would you be willing to offer a stipend without intercourse, just frottage, kissing and manual with some oral? Most people probably wouldn't see that as fair, but what if you really like the guy?

 

 

 

I though most arrangements had a romantic element to them. But for some clients, maybe it's just repeated sessons on their terms.

 

I think there is a huge difference between a "romantic element" and a "romantic relationship."

[marylander1940]

There are sites devoted to just that, like Seeking Arrangement. It can work out great with the right guy.

 

Yes, but stipend or not... the OP is paying for sex with him. Whether the guy escorts for other guys now or later, openly or secretly or has similar arrangements with other gentlemen, it's a very similar situation.

 

My personal advice, pay him every time you see him, keep it simple, don't call it what is not and I assure the OP that sooner or later things will get "lost in translation" and he'll ask for more money, miss an appointment, etc.

 

[jimboivyo]

I keep a couple of guys on a monthly salary but theyre free to also see whom ever else they like

 

the money is wired into their banks. easy and quick