...he's like my brother.

[big-n-tall]

I'm curious. Has anyone become so close to an escort (that although you think they are still hella hawt!) you cringe at the thought of them sexually?

 

This hasn't happened with me and an escort, yet (thank goodness). However, it happened with myself and a webcam guy. Which I have posted about in many a posts long ago. Long story, short... myself and the web guy met online, started camming frequently, and as time went on we became super close. So close to where we think of each other as brothers. Even though we live in different parts of the country, we've hung out, went to sporting events, I've meet his family, he's talked to my mom (called her on her birthday) and will probably meet her later this year. He is an incredible good looking guy, amazing body, but I don't fantasize about him any more. I can't even get aroused by the thought of sex with him. I even told him it weirds me out now.

 

In reading posts from various forum members, it seems that some think becoming (super) close to an escort makes the sexual experience better. Which I agree. However, is there a point where becoming so close becomes a detriment (for lack of a better word)? I don't mean that as a negative. The escorts I've become friends with, I am very grateful for their friendship. I am just as happy seeing them non-sexually as I am sexually. I've talked to escorts who know other escorts/pornstars (as friends) that they just don't see themselves ever hooking up with these particular friends.

 

I was just typing out my thoughts about the subject. As I said, I was just curious to see if anyone else has had this happen to them.

[Newly]

Yes, and it can happen fairly quickly if you really click with someone. At that point the whole pay for the experience thing breaks down. I guess the real danger sign is when you start missing the escort as a friend and other things become secondary. I'm not sure what the real answer is but I'm thinking that due to the nature of this business that's probably the time to run, not walk away. Kind of sad really.

[Nvr2Thick]

I'm curious. Has anyone become so close to an escort (that although you think they are still hella hawt!) you cringe at the thought of them sexually?

 

This hasn't happened with me and an escort, yet (thank goodness). However, it happened with myself and a webcam guy. Which I have posted about in many a posts long ago. Long story, short... myself and the web guy met online, started camming frequently, and as time went on we became super close. So close to where we think of each other as brothers. Even though we live in different parts of the country, we've hung out, went to sporting events, I've meet his family, he's talked to my mom (called her on her birthday) and will probably meet her later this year. He is an incredible good looking guy, amazing body, but I don't fantasize about him any more. I can't even get aroused by the thought of sex with him. I even told him it weirds me out now.

 

In reading posts from various forum members, it seems that some think becoming (super) close to an escort makes the sexual experience better. Which I agree. However, is there a point where becoming so close becomes a detriment (for lack of a better word)? I don't mean that as a negative. The escorts I've become friends with, I am very grateful for their friendship. I am just as happy seeing them non-sexually as I am sexually. I've talked to escorts who know other escorts/pornstars (as friends) that they just don't see themselves ever hooking up with these particular friends.

 

I was just typing out my thoughts about the subject. As I said, I was just curious to see if anyone else has had this happen to them.

 

I have this problem with relationships in general. After years (OK, decades) of sex with escorts and hookups with strangers I find that I don't want to have sex with any guy I know well. Some of it is the surprise and freshness of a new body and a new dick, but there's a lot more to it. I like to be overpowered by a selfish top. When a man gets to know me he usually wants to do things that make me feel good. The same man who snuggles with me on the couch and rubs my back when we watch a movie or who cooks a nice meal with me usually can't be the same guy who fucks me rough for his own pleasure and doesn't hold back. As much as I enjoy getting pushed around and throat-fucked (for example) I find that I can resent that treatment when I'm close to the guy. If he's not taking it easy because he cares more about me I'm holding back because I take the abuse I normally love more personally.

 

Yes, it's happened with escorts as well. I haven't seen many escorts in a friendly or social setting, but the few that have enjoyed post-sex conversation with me have turned into guys I know too well or guys who I feel know me too well to really get lost in the kind of mindless, dominant abusive fucking I love. Apparently I've never learned to enjoy other types of physical intimacy.

 

The only exception is the guys who kick back for dick worship and dick service. I've known a few regulars -- married/straight men and escorts solely into the mutual thrill of letting a big dick hang for dedicated exhibitionism and tailor-made cocksucking for pleasure. I've developed some pretty tight friendships with some of the hookups, and got to know a couple of these types of escorts pretty well as well. It can be a lot of fun to spend some time riding motorcycles or just talking to a guy about music or work, and then to have him smile and say, "I could really use a good blowjob right now" or "you want to suck on this big dick so more, don't you?"

[adriano46]

Yes, and it can happen fairly quickly if you really click with someone. At that point the whole pay for the experience thing breaks down. I guess the real danger sign is when you start missing the escort as a friend and other things become secondary.

 

I have discovered over the last - say - 25 years of hiring that I fall into this more often than I would like to admit. I have hired many guys, most for one-night stands or perhaps two or three encounters and then I move on. I liked in the past the excitement of a new body or body type as my tastes evolved or as experimented with new ways of sexuality (from twinks [learning I really dislike this type] now to very furry daddy-types [realizing now I sort I like 'em a LOT] and everything in between and across the ethnic map).

 

I also traveled a lot and had the chance to try out men of different ethnic backgrounds. I discovered a predilection for Slavic men as well as Hungarians (learned they are NOT the same), and grew to a deep appreciation of men from Africa, Middle East, Asia (East and South), Mediterranean types and many different guys from Latin America, as well as guys from various parts of the USA.

 

But there were those few (I can name about 10) who grew more to be like "brothers" or friends. The sex with them was in each case outstanding in the beginning, explorative, combustible and above all very fulfilling. For each of these 10 guys the sex was unique - positions were really in a way personal to them (positions and actions I found were not as exciting with others or as interesting). And then just as suddenly the idea of getting naked in a bed with them and "doin' it" seemed as strange as attempting it with a brother. We had become almost too close, too intimate.

 

I have become for them a friend and/or mentor (depending on age difference), someone they can call and chat with, one who I share misgivings, doubts, questions and opinions with - things I generally refrain from doing with a usual escort - and sadly what Newtothis wrote is true -- it is time to run, not walk away.

 

But perhaps because of my character I don't run -- it is a gradual separation, which is probably a bigger error. We see each other socially (a meal, a movie, a night out - and with most at the end, a warm hug and a kiss... clothed). That said, I cherish each of these special men in ways hard to put into writing. They have become a part of me, people I truly treasure, not because I could pay for them or hire them, but because we reached a level where we were meeting as equals, as individuals, and not just as sexual encounters or f-buddies.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I think what is being described is simply human nature. Relationships change over time. People we were friends with in college are no longer interesting. Someone who you couldn't stand working with five years ago is now your favorite drinking buddy at the block party.

 

A good friend who is a psychologist mentioned that relationships often take a different turn over time and this type of change in the dynamic B-n-T mentions is quite common and if evolutionary. Maybe the sexual interest will not be there for years and all of a sudden, something will spark and it will rekindle. You just never know what to expect.

[wisconsinguy]

I think what is being described is simply human nature. Relationships change over time. People we were friends with in college are no longer interesting. Someone who you couldn't stand working with five years ago is now your favorite drinking buddy at the block party.

 

A good friend who is a psychologist mentioned that relationships often take a different turn over time and this type of change in the dynamic B-n-T mentions is quite common and if evolutionary. Maybe the sexual interest will not be there for years and all of a sudden, something will spark and it will rekindle. You just never know what to expect.

Sam puts it quite well. But I'll put this back on myself again. With my up and coming very first event happening the last weekend of this month. This is another one of my anxieties. Although I would love mind blowing, exploratory sex. The kind that when someone asks me, "what do you like, or what are you into?" I can be begin to come up with some sort of an idea. However, it's that emotional part of it. I pretty much give faith to the human race. I enjoy all kinds of folks. Yesterday I was waiting at W-Mart for a script. Sitting next to a lovely little older lady. I started up a little chit chat. Before we both knew it, I felt I had a new best friend. What a simple, great experience. Same thing over the weekend traveling. Standing in the TSA line with an elderly lady, and before we realized it, she's asking me if we are on the same flight. Here is my point: I like people. I'm a people pleaser myself. When I'm with someone I would like to know something them. It helps my connection with that person, and the universe. If I ask a question, I make damn sure it is not probing unless they take the lead. The comfortable area at my level is that I feel pretty much an open book. Except that sex stuff. Lee, still trying to find the right key to the closet door? Do I need to be careful about becoming to "friendly?" Sounds like the few that responded feel that it has that distinct possibility??? As I speak right now, I feel the more I know about you, the more I want to tear your clothes off! Make sense? Good thread. Be great to hear from a few more escorts as well. I want to do everything perfect you know. Have my Viagra on refill for my big weekend. Hope my new elderly lady friend isn't sitting next to me at W-Mart.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Do I need to be careful about becoming to "friendly?" Sounds like the few that responded feel that it has that distinct possibility??? As I speak right now, I feel the more I know about you, the more I want to tear your clothes off!

 

Wisconsin - No need to be careful about becoming too "friendly." Be yourself and the rest will fall into place. I have found that when I'm not myself, it becomes something that the other guy picks up on and he responds with caution. The more open I am, the more the escort picks up on what will be great when we rip off clothes.

 

Just don't expect your escort to be as open about his personal life as you may be willing to be. The escort may have a personal life that doesn't include publicizing a real name or talk about family in order to protect them. For example, an escort I have enjoy being with will share with me his travel, hobbies, entertainment, and fitness interests; however some topics including politics, and religion are off-limits topics.