Anonymity

[Guest Starbuck]

After reading posts on Daddy's for a couple of weeks, I'm curious about how often clients surrender their anonymity and let an escort know exactly who they are. I'm especially interested to hear thoughts/experience on this from those who have been hiring for a long time, or have repeat engagements with particular escorts ... and, also, to know if there are some of you who think this is never a good idea.

[+ Just Sayin]

I think it depends on the escort and the chemistry between client and escort; on one level, it seems like when you engage in sexual intimacy, it's difficult to not reveal at least parts of who you are; I think you need to use discretion, but unless you intend to run for political office, it's tough to be totally anonymous.

[seeker630]

I think it depends on the escort and the chemistry between client and escort; on one level, it seems like when you engage in sexual intimacy, it's difficult to not reveal at least parts of who you are; I think you need to use discretion, but unless you intend to run for political office, it's tough to be totally anonymous.

 

I think the answers will depend in part on each clients situation and risk/benefit.

 

Some clients are in marriages or relationships or perhaps jobs where the consequences of being found out would be disastrous. Some clients are out or their situation is such that being found out or 'exposed' wouldn't have significant consequences.

 

Another factor is whether the client has any interest in a non-physical connection. Some posters here prefer to develop friendships with escorts; some prefer to keep the interactions almost exclusively physical and sexual.

 

Until recently, when I hired locally, I had the escorts come to my home. That certainly enabled them to find out who I am.

[bostonman]

A related question, kind of the other way around - has anyone here ever been in a situation where you discover that a friend/colleague/etc (i.e. someone you know in a non-sexual situation) is escorting, AND you realize you might like to hire them? I suppose it would be one thing to say "hey - I noticed your ad on rentboy - that's cool that you're doing that and it's ok with me - what's it like?" (etc), but what about broaching the question of "...and can I hire you for an hour sometime" (etc)? Or should those boundaries just not be crossed if it's someone you have only related to on a friend/colleague level? (Kind of like the possible complications of sleeping with a friend, but now with money added?)

 

I ask because I'm pondering this myself right now - I have discovered I have a colleague who advertises on Backpage (actually 2 - I think they work separately and as a couple, though I'm much more interested in one of them) - I know he's legit, at least, lol. I just can't decide if approaching him to hire him would be a good idea or not, lol. Would it just be too awkward?

 

Otherwise, much like seeker360, my only experiences in hiring have been for outcalls at my apartment, so I'm never really anonymous, lol.

[Will Do]

I let go of too much info and it cost me dearly - emotionally and monetarily.

 

Will never, ever do that again.

[Guest countryboywny]

I only reveal personal information to escorts that I know well and trust. That would be a total the 2 guys who I see most often.

[ted]

No personal info on first hires ever. If we click, then as necessary. If you travel with someone its difficult to not know real names at least and usually a lot more. Over the years, three perhaps 4 know my name

[down_to_business]

I used to let the escort set the tone, meaning I would share what he was willing to share. This made sense when I would do, overnights, weekends, and travel. Now that I am no longer doing anything other than a one hour appointment, I don't find any reason to share personal information and can't imagine a scenario where I would.

[MalcomXpark]

Until recently, when I hired locally, I had the escorts come to my home. That certainly enabled them to find out who I am.

 

Do you open the door wearing some of the Crown Jewels? Or they simply recognize you from "People" magazine?

[McLeanspider]

Do you open the door wearing some of the Crown Jewels? Or they simply recognize you from "People" magazine?

 

No but he hides his 2 Oscars.

 

Here in the DC area everybody is a somebody too. LOL

[bigvalboy]

I think the answers will depend in part on each clients situation and risk/benefit.

 

Some clients are in marriages or relationships or perhaps jobs where the consequences of being found out would be disastrous. Some clients are out or their situation is such that being found out or 'exposed' wouldn't have significant consequences.

 

Another factor is whether the client has any interest in a non-physical connection. Some posters here prefer to develop friendships with escorts; some prefer to keep the interactions almost exclusively physical and sexual.

 

Until recently, when I hired locally, I had the escorts come to my home. That certainly enabled them to find out who I am.

 

Hey Seek, I know what you are saying, except that I think even in that situation you can still protect yourself from having an escort have access to personal information. I had an escort over to spend the weekend. The first afternoon we chatted and hung out in the spare bedroom, where the computer/office is also. I realized that there would be times, over the course of the next two days, when he would have access to personal and financial information. When he went to shower, I removed all files, personal papers, and locked the computer. Over dinner he mentioned something about me not trusting him. My response was brief, but to the point.

 

Of course I should have removed everything before hand, but I had forgotten. When I realized my error, I jumped at the first opportunity to make sure that I was protected. So even though they come to your house, I think that you can still that there are many things that you can do to protect yourself.

[Guest verymarried]

This is probably a really dumb thing to say but when anyone you do not know is in your private space, hide your cologne. I have systems for securing credit cards, cash, checks etc but I never thought about cologne (which many of you do not use I am sure). I have a scent thing and it's pricey and it came up missing when I had a visitor at a hotel in San Antonio. Never forgot it.

[Epigonos]

I have always been very open with my personal information. My personal email address has my name in it. I didn't start hiring until after I retired so I was never in jeopardy of losing my job (high school teacher) and possibly even my pension. My family and friends would be shocked and possibly offended if they learned that I hire escorts but that is a chance I have chosen to take. I have ALWAYS believed that if I am not prepared to have my private actions made public I’d better alter those actions so having them made public would not be a major emotional or psychological blow. Thus though I might NOT want the fact that I hire escorts made public I am prepared to accept the fact that it might be.

 

I hire three escorts on a “regular” basis. I have known much of their personal information since about our second meeting. Over time we have become friends and have learned a great deal about each other’s families and personal history.

[anotherjohnindupont]

I have always been very open with my personal information. My personal email address has my name in it. I didn't start hiring until after I retired so I was never in jeopardy of losing my job (high school teacher) and possibly even my pension. My family and friends would be shocked and possibly offended if they learned that I hire escorts but that is a chance I have chosen to take. I have ALWAYS believed that if I am not prepared to have my private actions made public I’d better alter those actions so having them made public would not be a major emotional or psychological blow. Thus though I might NOT want the fact that I hire escorts made public I am prepared to accept the fact that it might be.

 

I hire three escorts on a “regular” basis. I have known much of their personal information since about our second meeting. Over time we have become friends and have learned a great deal about each other’s families and personal history.

 

I agree with you, my life and choices are very similar, I simply would be concerned about my identity been stolen, CC theft, social security, etc while having an escort for an overnight.

[marylander1940]

This is probably a really dumb thing to say but when anyone you do not know is in your private space, hide your cologne. I have systems for securing credit cards, cash, checks etc but I never thought about cologne (which many of you do not use I am sure). I have a scent thing and it's pricey and it came up missing when I had a visitor at a hotel in San Antonio. Never forgot it.

 

I'm sorry about what happened to you, so sad that someone took advantage of your trust and while he was in your bathroom or when you weren't looking took a small item. I'm sure he either put it on craigslist, ebay, wrapped as a gift for a friend, or simply used it.

 

I'll take your advice and hide my wallet and other things when someone I've never met before is visiting me for an hour or an overnight.

[seeker630]

Do you open the door wearing some of the Crown Jewels? Or they simply recognize you from "People" magazine?

 

There's this new-fangled thing called 'the internet'....

[seeker630]

Hey Seek, I know what you are saying, except that I think even in that situation you can still protect yourself from having an escort have access to personal information. I had an escort over to spend the weekend. The first afternoon we chatted and hung out in the spare bedroom, where the computer/office is also. I realized that there would be times, over the course of the next two days, when he would have access to personal and financial information. When he went to shower, I removed all files, personal papers, and locked the computer. Over dinner he mentioned something about me not trusting him. My response was brief, but to the point.

 

Of course I should have removed everything before hand, but I had forgotten. When I realized my error, I jumped at the first opportunity to make sure that I was protected. So even though they come to your house, I think that you can still that there are many things that you can do to protect yourself.

 

BVB, I was only speaking to the issue of knowing who I am (i.e., my name). I don't leave my wallet, computer, etc. accessible.

 

I did once make the mistake of leaving the fee on a table in the living room when I took a pair of guys to my bedroom - one of them made an excuse to go to their car, and a few minutes later, the other one jumped up from the bed, grabbed his clothes and ran out of my apartment naked. And of course they grabbed the money.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

A related question, kind of the other way around - has anyone here ever been in a situation where you discover that a friend/colleague/etc (i.e. someone you know in a non-sexual situation) is escorting, AND you realize you might like to hire them? I suppose it would be one thing to say "hey - I noticed your ad on rentboy - that's cool that you're doing that and it's ok with me - what's it like?" (etc), but what about broaching the question of "...and can I hire you for an hour sometime" (etc)? Or should those boundaries just not be crossed if it's someone you have only related to on a friend/colleague level? (Kind of like the possible complications of sleeping with a friend, but now with money added?)

 

I ask because I'm pondering this myself right now - I have discovered I have a colleague who advertises on Backpage (actually 2 - I think they work separately and as a couple, though I'm much more interested in one of them) - I know he's legit, at least, lol. I just can't decide if approaching him to hire him would be a good idea or not, lol. Would it just be too awkward?

 

(a) Since most companies have policies against having a relationship with co-workers, it may not be worth the risk of hiring the guy if it should get out that you've been together, even if the circumstances of the encounter are never disclosed.

 

(b) I would avoid letting him know you know because your interactions with him may change after that disclosure. Will he feel threatened that you will disclose the information in the office if he doesn't agree with you in a meeting? Could he use the information that you were reviewing the male escort ads as blackmail to convince you to do something you are comfortable with?

 

Keep in mind, I'm stating my thoughts as an employee at a Fortune 500 company and will do little to risk my position before I'm ready to retire.

[marylander1940]

There's this new-fangled thing called 'the internet'....

 

 

Sorry, I didn't know we had famous guys on here.

 

I know a local escort in DC, he's a foreigner and because of that he sees a lot of politicians. Obviously if he ever talks, he might be deported.

 

Discretion goes both ways in life, a few guys are proud to be prostitutes, and none of us is happy about having to pay for sex.

 

I'm just been honest.

[bigvalboy]

BVB, I was only speaking to the issue of knowing who I am (i.e., my name). I don't leave my wallet, computer, etc. accessible

.

 

Oh.... got it....I just wanted to make sure that you were putting valuables and personal information away.

 

 

 

I did once make the mistake of leaving the fee on a table in the living room when I took a pair of guys to my bedroom - one of them made an excuse to go to their car, and a few minutes later, the other one jumped up from the bed, grabbed his clothes and ran out of my apartment naked. And of course they grabbed the money.

 

Sorry that happened to you. I had a threeway in Montreal once where one of the guys jumped up and grabbed my wallet out of my jacket while I was involved with the other guy. It really sucked, and I have never forgotten it.

[daviddd49]

I only hire when I travel. I have an e-mail address that I use JUST for contacting escorts, and especially for first time hires. I'm always careful on those first time hires about how much information I give out -- both in terms of name and what I do, where I do it, for whom I do it, where I live, and such. I'm something of a public figure -- more-so now than when I first began seeing escorts -- but, thankfully, I'm not so public that I'm easily identified outside my normal circles. Nevertheless, it has happened that an escort I've hired quickly (during that first session) recognized who I am; it wasn't likely to happen, but it did. Thankfully, nothing bad happened and I ended up seeing that escort several more times over the subsequent couple of years.

 

All of that being said, over the many years that I've been seeing escorts I have developed fairly close relationships with several of them. They know my name, what I do, my family situation, etc., and are very protective of me and of that information ... and, for that, I am thankful.

[Guest verymarried]

The following statement (from above post) impacted me more than any I have read before on this site. I do not know of these words will cause me to change my actions but they probably should.

 

"I have ALWAYS believed that if I am not prepared to have my private actions made public I’d better alter those actions so having them made public would not be a major emotional or psychological blow. Thus though I might NOT want the fact that I hire escorts made public I am prepared to accept the fact that it might be."

[+ nycman]

Never have.

 

Never would.

 

Nonetheless, I assume a determined individual would be able to figure it out in less than 5 minutes.

 

If you can’t accept that risk, I don’t think you should hire.

[Becket]

The more I hire the more comfortable I get with private details. Looking back, some of the things I have been worried about have just been silly. AND....

 

Escorts have confidentiality issues as well. Some of my favorite escorts have regular jobs and "normal" lives; and would be hurt if their private info got out.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I have an e-mail address that I use JUST for contacting escorts, and especially for first time hires. I'm always careful on those first time hires about how much information I give out

 

This is sound advice and I have a separate account as well. The only problem I run into is remembering that I'm "Sam" when I meet the escort. I've twice used my real first name slip as I'm introducing myself at the first face to face meeting to only get a 'deer in the headlights' response from the escort worried that he had double booked.