Items escorts should mention in their ads...

[jon1265]

1. I collect money upfront.

2. I only suck dick with a condom.

 

Can you think of anymore?

[bigvalboy]

3. The person in the pic is NOT me, but don't worry, I am only about 10 years older and 30 lbs heavier.

[TruthBTold]

I kiss only on lips or I kiss voraciously like a horny high schooler.

[down_to_business]

I am a pack-a-day smoker but I say I am a non-smoker because it's better for business. Don't worry I will chew on a stick of gum and make it better.

 

I honor my commitments only when I don't have something better to do.

[ErieBear]

How about: Even though I may have the body of a god, I am only human and I screw some things up occasionally. Please be patient with me and remember that I'm doing the best that I can.

[jon1265]

How about: Even though I may have the body of a god, I am only human and I screw some things up occasionally. Please be patient with me and remember that I'm doing the best that I can.

 

I could live with that if I wasn't paying 200-300 bucks an hour. Get real. If they are not at the top of their game, then turn down the appointment.

[jon1265]

I forgot one:

 

As soon as you cum, I will get dressed, collect my fee and leave.

[ErieBear]

jon, I think that you and I have hired completely different escorts. That's for sure.

[down_to_business]

How about: Even though I may have the body of a god, I am only human and I screw some things up occasionally. Please be patient with me and remember that I'm doing the best that I can.

 

That one reminds me of one. I have the body of a God.. unfortunately for you it's Buddha

[bigvalboy]

I forgot one:

 

As soon as you cum, I will get dressed, collect my fee and leave.

 

OR...lol...how about, "As soon as you cum, I will get dressed, collect my fee and leave"

[dcguy20]

My hour is really 30 minutes.

[adriano46]

Some really great answers there -- seems quite a few (lie me) are getting jaded in all this.

 

But I live with the hope that I can find that oh, so elusive guy who is as he advertises, and works hard for the money I am handing over (one who still is service-oriented in this industry).

[uwsman2]

adriano46 - Then try Raul Manzo - he is as he advertizes, works hard for the money, and is very service-oriented. On top of that, hot and horny guy.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

adriano46 - Then try Raul Manzo - he is as he advertizes, works hard for the money, and is very service-oriented. On top of that, hot and horny guy.

 

So you better treat him right.

[jon1265]

OR...lol...how about, "As soon as you cum, I will get dressed, collect my fee and leave"

 

Isn't that what I said?

[jon1265]

Another: My clients should look like porn stars.

[bigvalboy]

Isn't that what I said?

 

Ahh yes...oops, sorry... I read it as the opposite. I read it as; "As soon as I come, I will get dressed, collect my fee and leave" which also has happened to me, so both are unacceptable....

[leigh.bess.toad]

So you better treat him right.

 

Thanks for the chuckle.

[nate_sf]

So you better treat him right.

 

Damn, now I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head the rest of the night!

 

http://www.natebruno.com/dancing.jpg

[marylander1940]

There's an escort in DC who asks for a client's picture in order to make plans...

 

Also some guys request "in shape guys only", if I was in shape I wouldn't be paying.

[Lewis H]

There's an escort in DC who asks for a client's picture in order to make plans...

 

Also some guys request "in shape guys only", if I was in shape I wouldn't be paying.

 

The possible response could be, "I AM in shape, but the shape I have chosen is an oblong."

[bigvalboy]

So you better treat him right.

 

lol...took me a second to make the connection also...funny stuff.

[marylander1940]

The possible response could be, "I AM in shape, but the shape I have chosen is an oblong."

 

Or "I'm in shape but I'm currently pregnant".

 

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e375/lovelives/Belly.jpg

[tyro]

Wow. Just...wow.

T

[adriano46]

adriano46 - Then try Raul Manzo - he is as he advertizes, works hard for the money, and is very service-oriented. On top of that, hot and horny guy.

 

Would love to but he is in CHI and I have not been there in two or more years and rarely head to the Midwest. However... you never know (he and I have occasionally exchanged e-mails and I like everything he writes abut himself - great guy. )