Does mentor figure mean sugar daddy? Some of you will apply...

[McLeanspider]

Does mentor figure mean sugar daddy?

 

http://www.adam4adam.com/?p=danny9099

[Guest verymarried]

I have little doubt that danny will bite at a "are you looking for help with tuition?" or similar message. Even in my backwoods state, I have had numerous responses to "generous, fit, DDF oldr guy looking 4 same yngr" or similar messages.

[rvwnsd]

Does mentor figure mean sugar daddy?

 

http://www.adam4adam.com/?p=danny9099

 

I suppose one who wants to be a sugar daddy could interpret it that way. Alternatively, he could truly be looking for an older boyfriend who wants to help him make the transition from student to young professional. Perhaps someone who is interested could ask him, find out first hand, and report back to the forum.

[+ Letmeworshipit]

I have used the term "mentor" in ads looking for younger oral tops. I am not inferring that I will support them, but certainly if I found the right guy, I would assist him in any way possible. If that's a mentor, I guess I am.

[Phil_musc]

I first thought that he was looking for someone that might be able to "sponsor" him. But the a4a piece reads pretty sincere and un-opportunistic to me. I don't get a vibe that he is looking for a sugar daddy - just that he likes older guys. Maybe I'm too thick-headed to find the lines to read between.

[Jscott]

In this context, not to be cynical but I'm pretty sure generosity is implied...

[marylander1940]

In this context, not to be cynical but I'm pretty sure generosity is implied...

 

Exactly, high class generosity I guess.

 

I hope he gets lucky, if not Rentboy is available but you have to work for every dollar.

 

I hope Mcleanspider (my almost neighbor) gives this boy some extra publicity.

[twinkboylover28]

I'm always extremely cautious with profiles that only post 1 picture.

[JT Brooklyn]

Hell Yes!

[+ FreshFluff]

I noticed that he's listed as being in Boston but that his profile says he's in Northern CA. He may be in college back east and now home for the summer. Or that may an error made by a fake.

 

I first thought that he was looking for someone that might be able to "sponsor" him. But the a4a piece reads pretty sincere and un-opportunistic to me. I don't get a vibe that he is looking for a sugar daddy - just that he likes older guys. Maybe I'm too thick-headed to find the lines to read between.

 

He may be looking for something in between a sugar daddy and a "regular bf:" an older bf who is attractive to him and who will take him to nice restaurants and/or fancy trips. Note that he's looking for a "masculine" guy, presumably what he's attracted to.

[bigvalboy]

He may be looking for something in between a sugar daddy and a "regular bf:" an older bf who is attractive to him and who will take him to nice restaurants and/or fancy trips. Note that he's looking for a "masculine" guy, presumably what he's attracted to.

 

That's exactly what I took from it. It did not sound like he necessarily wanted someone to take care of him, but rather (ahem) someone to make his life a little easier and more exciting. That I would be game for, an ATM I'm not.

[marylander1940]

That's exactly what I took from it. It did not sound like he necessarily wanted someone to take care of him, but rather (ahem) someone to make his life a little easier and more exciting. That I would be game for, an ATM I'm not.

 

If he was an escort, how much would you pay to spend an hour with him?

[+ FreshFluff]

BigValBoy, I tried to PM you, but it says you don't accept PMs. If you want, you can email me at M8R-yqbo7x@mailinator.com. If you'd prefer not to, feel free to ignore.

[Zapped]

He could just be a young man who is attracted to older men and realizes he needs a mentor in his life.

 

There are many men (of all ages) who are looking for a mentor/father figure. This is certainly true in my profession (college professor) where I have been a surrogate (non-sexual) father figure to several young men and a personal/professional mentor to many more.

 

There is a phenomenon called "father hunger," at least in popular and Christian psychology (I don't know that it's recognized in mainstream psychology, at least by that name). It's been claimed by NARTH, etc., to be a cause for homosexuality. I no longer buy childhood-experience theories as a "cause" of homosexuality; a lot of straight men have fucked-up relationships with their fathers and look for fathering and mentoring from other men without it being a sexual thing.

 

For some of us, whether we are teenagers or elders, it is a sexual thing, too.

 

I'm almost 55 and I realize I have it, this father hunger, and that it shows up powerfully in my sexuality.

 

I get off on dad/son sexual roleplay where I am the son. I only discovered that when I met a guy into being a dad online, chatted with him about being attracted to young men, met him for dinner, and as our conversation went into areas I didn't expect, let myself slip into son mode. I found it surprisingly and incredibly powerful.

 

Unfortunately, he wasn't interested in a "son" his own age. Then I met another guy online, into hypnosis and phone sex, and we did some role play where I was the son and he the dad, even though he was 25 years younger than me.

 

We met in person twice, and I had the most powerful orgasm of my life sucking his dick while he called me a good boy and told me to cum for him.

 

My partner is 23. We enjoy dad/son roleplay, and he will be the dad for me when I need it (he is into being the son, too). He has a very nice, slender, lightly-muscled tennis-player build. He is away for the summer, and when we talk online with iChat or Skype, he gets hard just looking at my gray-haired chest or my ample belly. "I miss that belly" he tells me.

 

I say this from time to time when I pop in to these discussions, so here it comes again:

 

There are a lot of attractive young men who are authentically attracted to older men.

 

Not just into muscle daddies, but men with regular, middle-aged and older bodies. Even (sometimes especially) bellies. Very few of them are looking to be paid for sex; most of them are looking for fulfill their own sexual, emotional, and/or spiritual needs.

 

It is wonderful to hire an escort to fulfill sexual fantasies (including the fantasy of paying someone to do something he wouldn't do otherwise), for convenience, to have a body to hold, to have private sexual release without hurting your spouse, etc.

 

But no matter your age, your physical shape, etc., you are attractive the you are. I also get off on humiliation fantasies, and within that fantasy the other man may have contempt for the my body (either my actual one or the one in my fantasy). That's cool. That's how my brain is wired. But outside that fantasy world, I know I--and everyone else--is attractive to someone, as long as we are willing to admit it to ourselves.

 

So it makes me a bit sad when many of us assume that any young man looking for an older man must be looking for money. Because it often seems to imply that we assume that those of us who are older men in less-than-great shape are not attractive, and not attractive to some young men.

 

Many successful, happy-at-their-work escorts obviously are authentically attracted to all sorts of men, and enjoy connecting with and having sex with a large variety of clients. That is great. It is a special gift/calling to be able to provide this service professionally. As many have made clear through the years in this forum, it's something they enjoy.

 

And there are many young men who are not choosing to do sex work with multiple people as their way of making a living. Some of them are attracted to and need a daddy. Not a sugar daddy. Just a daddy. (Or whatever they may call it.)

 

Thinking back, I had ongoing sexual relationships with two older men when I was 19 to early 20s. One of them took me to dinner a few times, and paid for both of us, but that was because he could afford to and I couldn't (I was a college student without a job). I wasn't going out with him or sleeping with him on occasion because he bought me dinner. It was just part of our friendship.

 

Later, when I did have my own income, I would hang out with and sometimes have sex with a friend who was probably 20 or 25 years older than me. He was a comfort, a guide at times, and a mentor in some ways. I don't remember him ever buying me dinner or drinks, unless he was buying a round for a group of people.

 

Back to the OP, the kid in the ad could be looking for what he says he is, or it could be code. That he is a younger guy looking for an older guy, not for money, is entirely believable to me. (And I'll say, too, that it is easy to forget to update your location when traveling or home for the summer.)

 

Well, that was long-winded--but therapeutic for me!