Topping and Bottoming

[+ Gar1eth]

A recent thread brought this up- Clients who like to Bottom are sometimes hesitant to hire escorts who advertise as versatile because they are afraid they won't be good tops. On the other hand I've heard it expressed by some- more years ago than lately that bottoming makes some people better at topping. I think if I were a bottom what I might care most about are escorts who say they are versatile or even tops- but are clearly more bottom oriented. What I actually dislike as a top are escorts who say they are versatile but really only just tolerate bottoming. I don't like topping someone who doesn't really enjoy bottoming and is just lying there gritting there teeth until I'm finished. That's why I often ask versatile escorts if they really like to bottom or just tolerate it.

 

Gman

[Michael Wayne]

My whole life I have been a total TOP mostly because of the fact that 99% of the time my dick is bigger than a partner or a client and the fact that I am so masculine and muscular. However my ex bf taught me to bottom and now I love it!!!!!!!!! That doesnt mean I am not a great Pro top. My skills are as good as ever but when I can get a client to safely top me it sends me into orbit and has opened up a whole new dimension of sex for me. http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[+ Gar1eth]

My whole life I have been a total TOP mostly because of the fact that 99% of the time my dick is bigger than a partner or a client and the fact that I am so masculine and muscular. However my ex bf taught me to bottom and now I love it!!!!!!!!! That doesnt mean I am not a great Pro top. My skills are as good as ever but when I can get a client to safely top me it sends me into orbit and has opened up a whole new dimension of sex for me. http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

 

Do you think learning to bottom has made you a better top in anyway?

 

Gman

[maninsoma]

I think the real issue is that some people (both escorts and just guys looking for sex on hook-up sites) list themselves as versatile when, in fact, they are predominantly bottoms who would better be described as versatile-bottoms. If a client knows he is predominantly a bottom, then one way to know that you're hiring a top is to hire someone who lists themselves as a top or, at least, versatile-top.

[Decatur Guy]

The age-old question: Who makes a better top? (I'm talking escorts and hook-ups and boyfriends here)

 

I used to insist that if someone wanted to top me that he also have bottoming experience. I was going on the theory that a total top wouldn't be sensitive enough to a bottom's situation, feelings, desires, etc.

 

Then I had some great experiences with total tops. To the point I decided that total tops were the way to go -- with the idea that their very lack of "understanding" what's going down with the bottom is what made them some awesome tops. [And after all, every straight guy is a total top, so to speak. And there have got be some great fucks dished out from straight guys who have not a clue what a woman experiences while being penetrated]

 

But these days, I'm at the point that I don't think it much matters. I think a versatile guy can be a great top and I think a total top can be a great top. And the reverse is true: A versatile guy can be a not-so-good top and a total top can be a not-so-good top.

 

One thing holds true though: A total bottom or a guy who always wants to bottom is probably not going to be a great top! LOL.

 

One last thing: A versatile/bottom can make a good top. I think I've gone from versatile to versatile/bottom in the past year or two, when I think back on it. But I can promise you the guy I topped long and hard a couple of weeks ago had NO IDEA that I've been spending most of my time on the bottom lately. And while I was fucking him, being a bottom was the very last thing on my mind. (I've never been good on flip fucks).

 

I have yet to hire an escort with the idea that I'll be the top. I guess because it's hard for me to find good tops who want a bottom of my age, while when I'm in a mood to top, it's not hard at all to connect with a bottom.

 

When I'm looking for an escort to top me, I tend to look for versatile/tops, total tops and versatile guys. Obviously, I skip the total bottoms, and yes, come to think of it, I skip the versatile/bottoms, which contradicts my own statement about myself above. That makes me a man of contradictions!

 

As for escorts, I've gotten some epic fucks both from the total top guys and the versatile guys. I will admit that for me, there's a certain psychological thrill giving up my ass to a guy who doesn't get fucked. But I'd never let that get in the way of a good fuck from a versatile guy.

 

Whew, I'm tired just thinking about all of that! LOL.

 

 

P.S. - DAMNIT! i hate that feature that times me the fuck out while I'm composing a longer reply. Grrrrrr!

[tom1980]

The first guy to top me was the second escort I ever hired, and he is predominantly a bottom. Over the course of 3 or 4 meetings, he was able to show me how get pleasure as a bottom and, as a bottom, he knew how to hit my prostate during sex to make it pleasurable.

 

Over time, I've had sex with many guys who are total tops. Some of them have no clue what makes bottoming pleasurable and still do an excellent job while others in that category don't do as well. The ones who tend to do better are those who want the bottom to have fun. They want him to want to get fucked, so they learn about anatomy. They also realize that not all guys are the same and will ask the bottom what position is usually best for him. They will also change positions during sex to figure out what feels best and what gets the best reaction from the bottom. Those are the great "total top" guys.

 

Versatile guys can make really great tops because they know from experience what feels good to them, but I don't think experience is necessary. Most tops and versatile guys get off on giving a bottom pleasure. Just as most men enjoy it when a woman moans or screams with pleasure while getting fucked. They find out how to provide that pleasure because doing so them feel masculine and powerful. The guy feels like he has an awesome dick and great sexual skills, and he wants to show the bottom just how great he can be. That's part of why I've become much more open with encouragement and "dirty" talk during sex. My partner almost always makes more of an effort to fuck me in a way that makes the sex good for me when I do it.

[tom1980]

One more thing. I found DG's comment about going from being versatile to versatile/bottom within the last year or two interesting because I've gone the opposite direction. When I first started having sex with men, I was strictly a bottom. Now as I've done it more, I enjoy topping as often as I want to bottom. The turning point for me was when an escort asked me to top him, and he had an orgasm while barely touching himself. He told me that my dick just fit him perfectly. I've gone back to him several times and always work hard to get in just the right position and thrust in just the right way for him enjoy it. A lot of tops do the same for me whether they solely top or are versatile. The key is finding a guy who wants the bottom to have fun instead of a guy who just wants to fuck a tight hole for his own pleasure. While the latter was tolerable to me when I first started having sex with other men, I no longer enjoy completely selfish lovers. Even on the occasions when I ask a guy dominate me, I want the sex to be with a top who wants to see me enjoy myself while I'm getting fucked.

[vabballfan]

I can only say, "it depends". It really merely depends on the man. When I first started out as a young man, I was a total top. I had a big crush on the third man I had sex with and while I was topping him he kept telling me how much he wanted to flip and that he'd go slow and work with me since I had never bottomed before. Even though he was 7 inches and medium thick, he decided to just shove it in with a single stroke. I saw stars, pushed him off of me and never saw him again. I wouldn't let anyone even close to my ass for years.

 

Several years later, after years of being a total top, I met a man that I was totally into. I was a total top and so was he. After about a month of mutual blow jobs, mutual hand jobs and being frustrated because we weren't fucking, I tried to talk him into bottoming for me since he was 9 inches and very thick and I'm about 7 but thick. There was no way he was going to give in to me so I decided I needed to learn to bottom. This man took the responsibility seriously and managed to get me so relaxed that I ended up getting fucked by him three times that first evening. Every time I was around him I basically attacked him and made him top me (not that he resisted a lot, he told me that I was the best bottom he'd been with up to that point in time). That experience launched me into the world of versatility.

 

For the most part, in my personal experience, versatile tops or versatile men give me a better experience when I bottom for them. I have not had great experience with men that state they are top only and will never bottom. If I look back on the best experiences I have had hiring escorts, almost every single escort that has topped me that was an outstanding top has also bottomed before (some infrequently) or an escort that is truly versatile and can go from top to bottom without missing a beat. I'm talking about guys like Andrew Justice, JLA, Kristian (in LA), Tommy Ritter (hot German porn star years ago), Brett Holt, etc. Not that it's a hard and fast rule, but I've only been with a couple of top only guys that were truly stellar as tops (actually only two that come to mind, one in LA and one in Atlanta). Again, I truly think it just depends on the guy/escort and the person they are with. I think chemistry plays a big part.

 

Even more frustrating for me is being with someone that only wants to bottom but someone that truly appeals to me as a versatile partner or someone that I want to get topped by. When I was much younger and I would go into DC and hookup with a hot guy that I figured was going to fuck my brains out I ended up finding out that he was a big buff guy, with a horse cock that only wanted to get topped. There were many men I was with that had more than 8 inches that were total bottoms - a lot of them were Marines that only wanted to get plowed until they came - they were truly total bottoms totally into getting it. I remember one Marine in particular - he was 23, blond hair, blue eyes, hairy chest, 6'4", 230#, 10" x 7" with a big mushroom head and he turned out to be a total bottom, told me his nickname was "helium heels" and I ended up fucking him for about five hours and he came five times while I was drilling his ass. I kept trying to get him to top me and he wouldn't have any part of it.

 

So it just really depends and you can't categorize guys based on them saying they are a bottom, a versatile bottom, versatile, a versatile top or a top. I've been with guys that said they were total bottoms that ended up topping me expertly and total tops that ended up bottoming and being extremely good as a bottoms.