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Inserting Gerbils into Anus: Myth or Reality?

bcohen7719

By bcohen7719
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Charlie Grand Master

+ Charlie

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When the original story came up years ago, it was quickly debunked by biologists as a ridiculous "urban myth". It was pointed out that gerbils are very active little animals with sharp claws that would cause major damage if one even tried to insert them in the anus. The credulous director of the ASPCA in Philly at the time had made a fool of herself by taking the claim seriously.

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Phil_musc Mentor

Phil_musc

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When the original story came up years ago, it was quickly debunked by biologists as a ridiculous "urban myth". It was pointed out that gerbils are very active little animals with sharp claws that would cause major damage if one even tried to insert them in the anus. The credulous director of the ASPCA in Philly at the time had made a fool of herself by taking the claim seriously.

 

Yes, I seem to remember that a local newscaster was the alleged perpetrator of gerbil-abuse and had to be taken to Lackawanna Hospital for some sort of procedure. Of course the entire hospital medical staff was sworn to secrecy but apparently some cad spilled the beans - discretion be damned. At any rate, the rumors floated around town for quite some time and now will probably re-surface because of this silly thread.

 

By the way, Lackawanna is a real hospital here - it's not some sort of made-up name/word like "lackanookie."

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MsGuy Proficient

MsGuy

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...biologists ...pointed out that gerbils are very active little animals with sharp claws that would cause major damage if one even tried to insert them in the anus.

 

I suppose one could have it declawed (and defanged) first; use one of those round plastic hamster runways to guide it in w/o unduly frightening it; & of course, gotta insert one of those plastic hospital nose tubes to provide some oxygen. Ought to be enough moisture in there naturally, so a bit of gerbil kibble & one should be good to go for several days, I would think.

 

Just trying to think the thing through, Charlie. ;)

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http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/F/FG/FG7nI4M0-GywPKufP92n5cg41iE.jpg?t=n991183IGXWvrSMXeZGW6g&f=1368417600

 

(You just know he's tried it.)

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whipped guy Grand Master

whipped guy

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I always thought the rumor had to do with Richard Gere. At least that's how I heard it, more than 30 years ago.

Yes... I almost mentioned that above... As that was my recollection... However, I was not totally sure. I guess my instincts were correct after all.

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JT Brooklyn Mentor

JT Brooklyn

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Yes... I almost mentioned that above... As that was my recollection... However, I was not totally sure. I guess my instincts were correct after all.

 

Yup... that "dumbass" remark was made Years ago around the time he was married to the Super Model and still every once in awhile pops up in a conversation!

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operalover21 Community Regular

operalover21

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Yup... that "dumbass" remark was made Years ago around the time he was married to the Super Model and still every once in awhile pops up in a conversation!

 

I'm not sure why it was a "dumbass" remark. It was a HUGE rumor for years in the late 1970s after he did AMERICAN GIGOLO. I have no idea if it's true, could care less, but that's the first time I ever heard anything about gerbils and anuses.

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Guest countryboywny

Guest countryboywny

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By the way, Lackawanna is a real hospital here - it's not some sort of made-up name/word like "lackanookie."

 

We have the city of Lackawanna here, it's a suburb of Buffalo!

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Dave Community Regular

Dave

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so wait - the gerbil gets dusted with coke? that seems like a lot of coke to use. I wonder if there's any way to get the gerbil to do a bump instead?

 

oh my gosh, is that the origin of a booty bump?!!??!

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Jaker27 Rookie

Jaker27

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I suppose one could have it declawed (and defanged) first; use one of those round plastic hamster runways to guide it in w/o unduly frightening it; & of course, gotta insert one of those plastic hospital nose tubes to provide some oxygen. Ought to be enough moisture in there naturally, so a bit of gerbil kibble & one should be good to go for several days, I would think.

 

Just trying to think the thing through, Charlie. ;)

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http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/F/FG/FG7nI4M0-GywPKufP92n5cg41iE.jpg?t=n991183IGXWvrSMXeZGW6g&f=1368417600

 

(You just know he's tried it.)

and don't forget a spinning wheel for it's daily exersize:)

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MsGuy Proficient

MsGuy

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and don't forget a spinning wheel for it's daily exersize:)

 

Frankly, not being one of those '3 arms up to the elbow' fisters, I'm not really sure how to manage a exercise wheel. I suppose I could call in one of those ship in a bottle guys to assist.

 

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMfQJOXuN4ZkTHqKPINHAdlrIWlAFNzqpgZpwgp_Vk5Eha-q6NjA

 

Where there's a will, there's a way. :p

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JT Brooklyn Mentor

JT Brooklyn

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I'm not sure why it was a "dumbass" remark. It was a HUGE rumor for years in the late 1970s after he did AMERICAN GIGOLO. I have no idea if it's true, could care less, but that's the first time I ever heard anything about gerbils and anuses.

 

Try it... and you will see why it was a "dumbass" Rumour perpetuated by its idiocy!

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whipped guy Grand Master

whipped guy

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It may be a "dumbass" thing to DO but it certainly isn't a "dumbass" rumor but may I assume you've already tried it and that's how you know?
BG is one of the most knowledgeable posters on this site... He has seen is all and done it all... at least anything that is sane and responsible. I am always astounded by the depth of his knowledge. Furthermore, I can assure you that he is certainly astute enough to know not only when something is indeed "dumbass"... but also insightful and intuitive enough to know when starting a "dumbass" rumor is indeed a "dumbass" thing to do...
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