Let’s Discuss BDSM Techniques!

[whipped guy]

Great discussion guys!!

 

I recall a long retired BDSM specialist telling me how while he was always interested in "beating bois as an S&M top" he felt the need to consult an expert when he was first learning the trade... and that included having experiences as a bottom. As an example, he had to experience a flogging with virtually every type of device so he would get to know the differences among the different materials, textures, strand sizes, etc. from which floggers were fabricated. Likewise, he was taught how to safely tie an individual so as not to block blood flow and circulation. He said that part of his training brought him to the brink of what was irresponsible... Or in other words he was made aware of what NOT to do... and as such he got invaluable insight regarding what procedures and practices to avoid so as to act only in a responsible fashion... and the best way to learn what to do and not to do was through practical experience.

 

Regarding the client instructing the escort. I know of situations where escorts have contacted clients and then asked for their services to be critiqued. Interestingly, in one case it helped the escort realize that it was not something with which he wanted to get involved. Others realized that they could expand their client base.

 

When doing S&M there is always the chance of the client and the escort being put in a questionable position. That's why it is important to establish strong relationships based on trust. I recall how a now retired escort suddenly threw me a curve ball about a half hour into our session. He got on his knees and begged me to turn the tables on him. It caught me off guard, but in retrospect we had a great relationship and as a result of that relationship he had total trust in me so it really should not have surprised me as much as it initially did. He had never harmed me and he instinctively knew that I would treat him in like manner and give him the total respect that he deserved.

[HawkKinkaid]

Again --- really great ideas here! Thanks!

[doitb4ugo]

I have a favorite guy for flogging but have never experienced the below....I would guess wielding that weapon would take a good amount of practice to get it right....just enough pain without too much damage.

 

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m764sbLoAe1radrn7o1_400.jpg

[whipped guy]

Such a whip as opposed to a multi-tailed flogger should only be used by guys who are highly trained. Years ago I was at a club where the now infamous Master Avery was learning how to wield such a whip. Seeing that the person who was instructing him was quite knowledgeable, I eventually got the courage to ask the instructor for a demo of what a single tail whipping would feel like. Damn did it sting!!!

 

I would most definitely say "buyer beware" and only buy from an "authorized dealer". Perhaps others can relate their experiences.

[Adam_6969]

I have to second what Whipped Guy says about submitting to a whip. One has to be into serious pain to endure such. In the photo in question, the Dom is using a braided whip with a frayed end. This can inflict serious pain on the sub as well as major welts to the point of bleeding. Not for me. Whipped Guy refers to experiencing a whipping with a single tail. From what I have seen in Bound Gods videos, a single tail is a nonbraided whip which looks to me like it is made out of rubber. Watching it used in Bound Gods videos makes me curious to try it out. I bet it does sting "so good."

[uwsman2]

I've always been hesitant to get much beyond floggers. While I want to experience the force, I don't want bleeding, scarring or permanent marks. Even serious bruising is beyond what I would want to experience. Am I being unrealistic?

[whipped guy]

The whole idea behind a flogging is ultimately deriving pleasure. As such an intense flogging from a multi tailed flogger with wide strands can be "endured" for extended periods of time with minimal repercussions. However, a whip (or even a flogger with thin strands) can do serious damage and quite readily. We play to enjoy, not to inflict harm. A skilled individual can play a whip like a Stradivarius... and be able to nip gently at the sub so as to produce a stinging sensation. The first time I experienced it as related above the pro with the whip was standing clear across the room and was able to nip at my shoulder with a swishing effect. He then was able to gradually increase the intensity... but those were skills that were learned after much practice and not practice on live subjects!!!

 

While I personally prefer a flogging oner a longer period if time, I felt that I needed to experience the short term bursts of a traditional single tail whip and its various cousins. I can now say that I've been there and done that.

 

So to answer uwsman's question about being unrealistic. While there are certain ramifications when playing in the S&M arena... and a certain amount of redness, tingling, etc. is to be expected, I personally would prefer to not cross the line and be able to play another day as opposed to going for broke and subsequently being put out of commission. Unfortunately that did happen on a couple of occasions... but never again! However, that was the old... or rather younger and less wise WG.

[ErieBear]

I LOVE to get flogged IF the person really knows what they're doing. I got flogged several times by several different people and I couldn't figure out what people liked about it. Then, I got flogged by a guy (not an escort) at CLAW. It was AMAZING. I couldn't believe how good it felt. Then I got together with Master Avery and it felt like heaven.

 

The problem is finding someone who really knows what they're doing, lol.

[whipped guy]

Erie in the bondage thread you wrote the following:

I love bondage. I like it to be tight, but I MUST know that I can trust the DOM. I'm also not into pain, so now I'm trying to figure out whayyt I like, and what I don't like.

Yet you seem to get pleasure from a flogging when administered by certain individuals. Now there is always that fine line between pain and pleasure... a threshold that every individual has that ideally should not be crossed. So if you are "Not into pain", then you are perceiving the sensations of a flogging... at least as administered by those certain individuals (and with certain types if floggers I would assume) as not being pain, but rather pleasure.

 

As someone who enjoys getting and giving , I am interested to know how different folks perceive the experience. For myself it can be analogous to a good stress relieving massage... but only better. Yet at times the pressure points experienced during a massage can indeed be "painful"... but pain of the good variety. Hence, the pain is perceived as pleasure. So I am not sure if that is what you were referencing. Of course when something is not administered properly there are often unpleasant ramifications, so that could be part of the problem.

 

So to further the discussion, what do you guys want to experience during a flogging? I personally like a certain element if surprise and when giving like to vary the intensity and rhythm etc. I also like to have more than one flogger at my disposal do as to provide an even wider range if sensations. Also, I personally like having my pecs worked over. And damn!!! Just the thought of that is getting me excited.

 

Of course this also opens the door for some tips on safe, sane, and yet effective flogging techniques...

[uwsman2]

The best flogging I've enjoyed always involved elements of surprise, so I can heartily endorse that. Variations in speed, intensity, forcefulness - switching off between floggers of different weight and texture. In some ways, the idea of being flogged is the most important thing - the realization can fall short if somebody is inexperienced and thinks it is about "hitting."

[ErieBear]

Erie in the bondage thread you wrote the following:

Yet you seem to get pleasure from a flogging when administered by certain individuals. Now there is always that fine line between pain and pleasure... a threshold that every individual has that ideally should not be crossed. So if you are "Not into pain", then you are perceiving the sensations of a flogging... at least as administered by those certain individuals (and with certain types if floggers I would assume) as not being pain, but rather pleasure.

 

As someone who enjoys getting and giving , I am interested to know how different folks perceive the experience. For myself it can be analogous to a good stress relieving massage... but only better. Yet at times the pressure points experienced during a massage can indeed be "painful"... but pain of the good variety. Hence, the pain is perceived as pleasure. So I am not sure if that is what you were referencing. Of course when something is not administered properly there are often unpleasant ramifications, so that could be part of the problem.

 

So to further the discussion, what do you guys want to experience during a flogging? I personally like a certain element if surprise and when giving like to vary the intensity and rhythm etc. I also like to have more than one flogger at my disposal do as to provide an even wider range if sensations. Also, I personally like having my pecs worked over. And damn!!! Just the thought of that is getting me excited.

 

Of course this also opens the door for some tips on safe, sane, and yet effective flogging techniques...

 

I would classify a GOOD flogging as something that goes beyond even an incredible massage. A good flogging is almost like edging, when you build up those endorphins slowly, bring it right to the tipping point, and then back off. Over and over and over again. And the very best thing is the after care. When your nerve endings are right there on the edge of your skin, you're just about ready to scream, and suddenly you feel your Master's hand touching you, calming you, claiming you. For me, I can't describe it more than that.

 

Comparatively, pain has been, for me, a complete exercise in frustration. Most of the time, it's been me trying to endure something so that I will gain the approval of the DOM. Then I feel like A) a wimp like I can't take as much as he wants me to and B) stupid for putting up with something that I don't naturally like.

[whipped guy]

... Most of the time, it's been me trying to endure something so that I will gain the approval of the DOM. Then I feel like A) a wimp like I can't take as much as he wants me to and B) stupid for putting up with something that I don't naturally like.

Erie... And others who feel the same way... I know what you mean. We probably all go through the "I must take it to please the Dom" phase. Also, we all go through a phase where we want to prove to ourselves that we can take it to the max. Be that as it may, having such a mindset can bring one to the brink of doing something ill advised. Still, these are probably all normal cravings and aspirations for most S&M subs to harbor as they often feel the need to prove themselves worthy of not only the Dom, but somehow feel a need to prove their intrinsic self worth as well.

 

Eventually and hopefully subs come to the realization that one needs to please only one person and its not the Dom!! As a case in point, I have submitted quite a few reviews where under the <YOU> section at the end of the review form I have written, "I have long been over the 'I need to test my limits to the extreme' phase. At this point I simply want to relax and enjoy the ride by navigating that infamous fine line between pain and pleasure."

 

You need not prove anything to anybody... PERIOD. Furthermore, it's the Dom's obligation to adhere to and respect the sub's desires and limits. One now retired Dom taught me that, and it was good advice indeed.

 

Sorry to sound as if I am preaching...

[buzz]

On the other hand, for me as a sub getting flogged or whipped, it enhances my enjoyment of the experience to know that the Dom is having as much fun as I am. My fulfillment as a sub includes knowing that the Dom has achieved gratification and fulfillment of his sadistic needs.

[uwsman2]

Exactly so. I'm not turned on if the other guy isn't turned on. Someone who's just going through the motions inspires no lusty thoughts.

[+ poolboy48220]

Exactly so. I'm not turned on if the other guy isn't turned on. Someone who's just going through the motions inspires no lusty thoughts.

That's true for me in any sexual situation. If they seem bored, I am uncomfortable.

[whipped guy]

I don't want to give the impression from my above posting that the Dom need not be enjoying himself. A good Dom... a sane Dom will enjoy the action because the sub is enjoying the action... and at whatever level the sub is able to endure for his gratification... and not be bored in the process.

 

In personal relationships the parties involved would ideally be matched up accordingly. When hiring an escort or when meeting for the first time at a club it becomes more touch and go. There must be a meeting of the minds. In the past I have been in situations where the Dom was so concerned about getting his own kicks that he failed to realize that he crossed the line into the realm of the irresponsible. I remember one specific incident where the Dom kept saying, "look how turned on I am", and his dick was as about as long, thick, and hard as it could get without literally exploding. What he failed to notice in his narcissistic power trip was that he had caused bleeding in the area around my "Mister Happy", who was not so happy at that point in time. Heck, not all relationships work out perfectly. I had a long powwow with this guy... and I gave him another chance, but ultimately things did not work out and we went our separate ways... but not before I had Mr. Hot Shot Dom on his knees for the final moments of our final session...

 

So it's a balancing act... a two way street... that proverbial meeting of the minds where the parties involved err on the side if caution... and then can safely and sanely adjust the action so as to insure the maximum gratification for both parties.

 

Part of the pleasure of being a Dom is having the power... actually simply knowing that you have the power is part of the excitement. However, that power must be used responsibly.

[Adam_6969]

WG, very well said "So it's a balancing act... a two way street... that proverbial meeting of the minds where the parties involved err on the side if caution... and then can safely and sanely adjust the action so as to insure the maximum gratification for both parties." The interchange the Dom/sub is all about achieving the greatest gratification possible, on both a physical and mental level. Your comment about "Hot Shot Dom" reminded me of an evening I had with a very competent, talented Dom a few years back. He became very intrigued at the idea of a wine enema so I accomodated his curiosity by administering a nice slow wine enema to him. After 15 minutes he admited that he was buzzed to the point I could do anything to him I wanted and he would be powerless to resist. I was tempted, but did not take advantage of his vulnerability that night. We talked later about his possible sub interestes and at a later session he was on his knees before me. Thankfully, this did not turn out to be our final session.

[uwsman2]

Yeah, I would think wine in the rectum would be immediately absorbed into the bloodstream at maximum strength! I wonder what would happen with vodka???

[Adam_6969]

Yeah, I would think wine in the rectum would be immediately absorbed into the bloodstream at maximum strength! I wonder what would happen with vodka???

 

You NEVER want to use straight wine or other alcohol in an enema. I dilute the wine, 1 cup wine with 2 cups warm water. I have never used Vodka or any other alcoholic beverage and don't plan to. Even diluted, a wine enema gives you a buzz within 15 minutes. Never retain a wine enema for more than 30 minutes. I always have a quart of warm water at the ready when I administer a wine enema so I can add the water to the enema bag just in case my partner does not feel compelled to expel after 30 minutes.

[tyro]

Once upon a time, an escort told me about receiving a "Scotch enema." Just the thought of that frightens me.

T

[whipped guy]

You NEVER want to use straight wine or other alcohol in an enema...

Adam... Well just like I am... you are no fun either... Well, I think you know what I mean... There is a way to have fun but in a responsible manner... While not into enemas, if I were I would be doing it your way...

 

In any event, this thread is turning into exactly what I had envisioned a chronicle of experiences where we can catalog the whole spectrum of safe and consensual BDSM techniques... even if some of the activities might be on the fringe of what traditionally is considered to be BDSM.

[raulgmanzo]

...He was determined to push my limits and held the candles very closely to my skin, so when it hit the skin, it hurt like a mother...

 

Yikes, close to the skin is not a good idea IMHO. A trick to be aware of how hot the wax will be is for the Dom to drip some discreetly on himself. This basic technique is good for all manner of activities. Even when picking up one of my floggers from the table I will either swat it against myself or at the very least run the strands through my hand to verify and remind myself which flogger it is and how it feels against the skin. The same even for clothespins and nipple clamps, the Dom can discreetly try it on himself.

 

The thing with wax is that not only (as WhippedGuy astutely points out) do the compositions of candles vary, and the distance and speed of the drip change the temperature but just like in flogging the skin will react differently depending on blood flow to the area and how warmed up the area has become. The skin can handle a greater intensity, temperature, or frequency once blood flow has increased and come to the surface.

[Bosguy]

Yikes, close to the skin is not a good idea IMHO. A trick to be aware of how hot the wax will be is for the Dom to drip some discreetly on himself. This basic technique is good for all manner of activities. Even when picking up one of my floggers from the table I will either swat it against myself or at the very least run the strands through my hand to verify and remind myself which flogger it is and how it feels against the skin. The same even for clothespins and nipple clamps, the Dom can discreetly try it on himself.

 

The thing with wax is that not only (as WhippedGuy astutely points out) do the compositions of candles vary, and the distance and speed of the drip change the temperature but just like in flogging the skin will react differently depending on blood flow to the area and how warmed up the area has become. The skin can handle a greater intensity, temperature, or frequency once blood flow has increased and come to the surface.

 

Raul, Welcome back to the Forum. I've missed your input. Guys, if you want to enjoy every aspect of BDSM from beginning to advanced, Raul is so knowledgeable from the Dom and Sub point of view. Really knows how to accomplish the ultimate combination of pleasure and pain in a safe, totally enjoyabe way.

 

Please continue to share your wealth of knowledge with us on a reguar basis.

 

Boston Bill

[bigvalboy]

Yikes, close to the skin is not a good idea IMHO. A trick to be aware of how hot the wax will be is for the Dom to drip some discreetly on himself. This basic technique is good for all manner of activities. Even when picking up one of my floggers from the table I will either swat it against myself or at the very least run the strands through my hand to verify and remind myself which flogger it is and how it feels against the skin. The same even for clothespins and nipple clamps, the Dom can discreetly try it on himself.

 

The thing with wax is that not only (as WhippedGuy astutely points out) do the compositions of candles vary, and the distance and speed of the drip change the temperature but just like in flogging the skin will react differently depending on blood flow to the area and how warmed up the area has become. The skin can handle a greater intensity, temperature, or frequency once blood flow has increased and come to the surface.

 

Good to see that you are out and about Mr. "R"....we do have a mutual forum follower, that keeps me apprised of your well being. I am always pleased when they report that life is being kind to you. Hope with all that is 'good and right' with this world that you are "Happy"...yes, above all else I hope that you are happy. That's it for now, I just wanted to say hi and that you are missed by many. WG always has the nicest things to say about you, so I am sure that he sends his good wishes also...Take care and I will chat with you soon.