My Mother's Day Gift

[Rick Munroe]

This year, I decided to give my mother the gift of openness & honesty. So...I told her that I am a world-famous play-for-pay escort stud. Her response: "And you couldn't afford to send me on a cruise?"

 

And then I woke up.

[KY_TOP]

So what will you really give her?

 

I will be taking my Mother to the country so she can spent Mother's Day in Church with her Mother. Of course I will have to attend also. It is a small country Baptist Church, very conservative, Mother will be Happy. So I'm giving her my day and time doing what she wants me to do.

[Rick Munroe]

>So what will you really give her?

 

A sarcasm-free phone call.

[Huey]

>So what will you really give her?

>

 

A one hour appointment with Rick .

[HooBoy]

Because I am terrible with remembering dates, I call my Mom up slmost everyday just to ask her is it's Mother Day and let her know that it's Mother's Day everyday to me. I do not like being manipulated by Hallmark and the flower industry...

 

[+ Lucky]

What does she say?

[Rick Munroe]

>I do not like

>being manipulated by Hallmark and the flower industry...

 

Neither do I...but my mother is a better manipulator than either of those two. If she doesn't get The Card, then I get The Call ("What'sa matta? You couldn't take 5 minutes to buy a goddam cawd?"). Sometimes I send The Card late just so I can get The Call. Cracks me up everytime...especially when Dad is listening in on another extension & adds, "Ya like breakin' ya mutha's hawt, don'tcha?"

[Candyman]

You have learned well in following the ancient tradition of GUILT!

 

The real question is what did Derek get you the Regis and Kathy Lee dolls or has the poor thing been replaced by the new Kelly doll.

 

Just be thankfull you still have Mom to torment you. ;(

[HooBoy]

Hey Lucky...

 

If I send her flowers, she gets ticked at me for spending the money. She thinks it is a waste and she knows I am just a po boy from Texas.

 

When I buy her clothes, she returns them. (Maybe it's because she does not like men's Prada suits.)

 

We do not tell each other "I Love You" everyday....

 

Actions speak louder than words....

 

But whenever I am in the USA, we talk long hours on the phone until I realize she is watching the Basketball playoffs and not listening to my whining or until she realizes I have laid the phone down and every 20 minutes go to it and say, "uh huh."

 

:7