Impact of hook up sites on the biz

[Michael Wayne]

Guys I have been really thinking about this lately. The subject came up many times during Mardi Gras recently with both bar owners, clients of mine, potenial new clients, and fellow pros. The sites seem to be exploding in popularity and in numbers so much so that many bars and clubs simply cannot compete and are closing or on the verge of closing. Gay sex is simply EASY to get these days without the risk of public exposure or being seen. Discretion is almost possible with these sites (providing your hook up doesnt fall in love with you, stalk you or try to out you) . It seems that many clients have a plan for the night, a back up plan and a back up to the back up. The escort is the final and last option if all else fails. This may be why so many guys resist making firm and definite appointments and it also probably explains the tremendous increase in last minute cancellations. Guys want it for free and it is as simple as that. Hiring requires a dose of humility and so many guys are still very proud........I feel as escorts we need to try and provide superior customer service these days and give some extra time to a client. I have been trying to incorporate dinners and shows to my sessions to give a more old school boyfriend experience. I think this is what most clients want because hook ups are so easy to get. What do yall think? http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1 or http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[corndog]

I think that hook up sites and apps like grindr are a big part of a major shift in gay culture, but only part of it. Not very long ago, gay bars were the center of the gay community. They were places that we went to feel "part of something" as well as places where we met our friends, lovers and tricks. However, as we've started to win our hard-fought battle for mainstream acceptance, it is less necessary to gather in our own shadowy underworld. We can be gay out in the open. We can connect with our "community" online and do our cruising on a website rather than a back room.

 

I think that these changes are an unfortunate side effect of our progress. I miss cruisy bars, and I miss the sense of community we had when we were outsiders, rather than trendsetters in mainstream society. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate progress, and centering our culture around bars came with more than it's share of problems. But, I don't think that browsing online profiles will ever match the experience of hooking up in a cruisy bar.

 

Of course, I also miss being 25. I think that everywhere is a little cruisier when you've got youth on your side.

[+ Gar1eth]

I deleted my last social app yesterday because in general they don't work for me. The very few times someone was interested, I wasn't attracted to them. So instead of being frustrated looking at guys who would never give me the time of day, I decided to get rid of them all. I'm still frustrated. But at least the guys aren't still within easy reach on my phone. From where I sit, Mikey, there will always be a need for escorts.

 

Gman

[+ Travis69]

A friend of mine who used to hire has gone the route of craigslist, silver daddies, etc. and loves the hunt for his next unpaid hook up. He has no problem with the 20 emails, people who meet him and say no, etc. that all comes with the free sex sites. He sits at his desk at the office and cruises at his leisure. He loves it all and it does give a boost to his ego when he is successful. I, on the other hand, could not deal with the 20 emails, and all the other crap that comes with the cruising the free sex sites. I did enjoy bar/bathhouse cruising in my youth but even then would quite often opt for the convenience of an escort. Today I have a few free playmates from non internet sources but still very much enjoy the convenience of hiring an escort.

[Kevin Slater]

I deleted my last social app yesterday because in general they don't work for me... From where I sit, Mikey, there will always be a need for escorts.

 

Gman

 

[video=youtube;0zQe-lVm7L4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zQe-lVm7L4

 

Kevin Slater

[bluboy]

Grindr works for me as an escorting site as well...

 

And its much cheaper than an escort so i have started hiring professionals much less. If i see a guy on grindr not in my level i just change all the Ss in my message to $ signs and in this bad economy i say i get a hit about half a time. Now ofcourse they are not reviewed but oddly they work hard to be good as they want a repeat. $100 is more than enough to seal the deal. You can also put "generous bottom horny and looking " . This works all over the world. Blu

[Guest verymarried]

Yeah, for quite a while I've been offering "can help with tuition" notes to great looking guys on Adam4adam and scored really well twice. However, I have also wasted much time, received a few nasty responses and have been stood up. I am just about over that and back looking at dedicated escorts.

[Guynextdoor32]

This is a great topic!

 

I will say hooking up is hard work. Endless e-mail, more pictures, talk on the phone, no shows ...on and on

 

I have a sensual massage ad on masseurfinder and I happen to be a hairy beefy guy! So I have used "growlr" in the pass to do a "shout"! You spend $5 to $10 and you are able reach out to the entire network of guys that use the app. I don't know if I would put an rentboy ad out on a "shout" ( they many not let you) but it's only time right. I know lots of bars will shout out events for bears on it as well!

 

It's great marketing. Most of the time I book 5-10 clients from it.

[Xander]

Yeah, for quite a while I've been offering "can help with tuition" notes to great looking guys on Adam4adam and scored really well twice. However, I have also wasted much time, received a few nasty responses and have been stood up. I am just about over that and back looking at dedicated escorts.

 

Honey bunny let's have dinner

http://college.emory.edu/home/admission/cost/index.html

[seeker630]

And its much cheaper than an escort so i have started hiring professionals much less. If i see a guy on grindr not in my level i just change all the Ss in my message to $ signs and in this bad economy i say i get a hit about half a time. Now ofcourse they are not reviewed but oddly they work hard to be good as they want a repeat. $100 is more than enough to seal the deal. You can also put "generous bottom horny and looking " . This works all over the world. Blu

 

I wonder if it works as well if you're a top?

[+ Travis69]

I wonder if it works as well if you're a top?

 

Bottoms like money too. Never hurts to try.

[jimboivyo]

I don't reckon hook up apps don't change the industry all that much. as long as you've got youth and or good looks on your side, you will always find a client

 

if you like spending your time on those sites and dealing with flakes, go for it. escorts for me are a done deal and it's what I prefer

[+ Gar1eth]

For those guys who are able to meet with guys from the social apps- I understand. I can't ( well it happened occasionally- but February 29th occurred almost as frequently). But if you are going to have to pay anyway, then I really have no need for them.

 

Gman

[anotherjohnindupont]

I'm sure good looking "DILFS" don't need to pay to have great sex with younger guys, but if you are over 40 and out of shape (LIKE ME), you can spend all the time you want online but you won't have sex with younger guys...

 

I know there are some "chubby chasers" out there and guys who like older men, but that's a minority.

 

Paying for sex is more effective then just wasting your time online.

 

The same could be applied to divorcee "cougars" and MILFS, lose a few pounds and get boob implants if you want college to early 30's guys.

[McLeanspider]

I think the economy and so many potential escorts and clients unemployed has had a more significant impact on the business then technology. Even if you use old pictures, when a young man shows up at your door looking for a trick, he'll find out your pics aren't accurate.

 

A lot of college boys escort now, but only time will tell if you are able to keep doing it for a living.

[JoeBlow]

It's an interesting question Mikey. As a married bi-guy who has no interest in coming out of the closet, I still prefer hiring tried and true, well-reviewed escorts when I am traveling out-of-town. I've checked out the Grindr and Scruff apps, but still feel "safer" hiring pros. However, if I was openly gay, unmarried, and had lots of opportunities to play with men, I'd probably be willing to take a few more risks and try hooking-up using those apps.

[BaronArtz]

The internet and social apps haven't put the female escorts of out business ... As Mike pointed out, you got to have a business plan: look hot enough and offer something 'extra' that you couldn't get from a conventional hookup. Like kink. Or dinner.

[Guest verymarried]

Xander I was thinking more Pulaski Tech than Emory in my educational grants program.

(The tuition at Pulaski Technical College is $2,780)

[JoeyBryant]

I think it has had an impact, but it's hard to really say how big. I mean there's so many variables out there. As someone who uses the social apps, they really aren't all they are cracked up to be. From a non-escort standpoint, even if you do meet a great guy off there, I have found non so far who has even had intentions to see someone exclusively. Many of them are like serial daters...even trying to hookup with some of them is just a production. I really don't know what happened, but when I was coming out mega-phone and interactive male were the only ways to meet guys outside a bar and AOL. People got tired of going on blind dates and all the risk involved, if they found someone who was interesting and the chemistry was there, they'd make it work somehow.

 

Nowadays, people from these apps treat people as disposable. You have to wonder why, if these apps really worked...why is that the same people from 8 months ago are still on the same apps 8 months later? It's just dumb. Another thing is, being these apps are easily searched...I'd guess 50% or more of the profiles are from closeted dweebs who haven't totally confronted themselves and just like to bullshit around. People who are serious, don't have time for that bullshit.

 

Going back to an escorts standpoint...It's tempting to want to blame the social apps, but I don't think they hold all the responsibility. When we meet good-looking clients with ripped bodies who don't HAVE to pay but CHOOSE to pay, it kind of restores hope in escort sites. Gay sex is always going to be easy to get as long as there are people out there who are okay with having sex without commitment. The good news is you can still offer NSA, but you're not giving it away. And regardless of all the social apps, anybody is willing to pay for a massage.

 

The internet and social apps haven't put the female escorts of out business ... As Mike pointed out, you got to have a business plan: look hot enough and offer something 'extra' that you couldn't get from a conventional hookup. Like kink. Or dinner.

 

Actually...maybe not put out of business, but women escorts deal with their own competitive forces out there (sugar daddy websites, mommies looking for guy to buy kid new pair of shoes, etc). The only reason they aren't out of business is because God decided to make more straight men than gay men. So regardless of the amounts of competitive forces, there will always be more straight men.

 

I think that these changes are an unfortunate side effect of our progress. I miss cruisy bars, and I miss the sense of community we had when we were outsiders, rather than trendsetters in mainstream society. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate progress, and centering our culture around bars came with more than it's share of problems. But, I don't think that browsing online profiles will ever match the experience of hooking up in a cruisy bar.

 

Of course, I also miss being 25. I think that everywhere is a little cruisier when you've got youth on your side.

 

Bravo...This would have been exactly the post I'd of written out.

[JoeyBryant]

I'd also like to add...about gay bars/clubs closing. I think gay bars are still going strong today, but seems the difference now is that they have just become like real-life facebooks more than anything. People stand around with their little huddle buddies all night, and I almost find that people tend to now look down on people who are alone thinking they are there just to cruise. The average gay man who has just moved to a city and looking to meet someone doesn't want to waste money in a bar, risk a DUI, and still go home either alone or with someone who is a druggie every weekend. So doing something on an app seems a bit more productive with better results.

[Michael Wayne]

Great answers so far guys...keep it up! This is a needed, valuable and relative discussion. Joeys comments are excellent as was the video from Kevin: hilarious! I think the biz is still very stron in CERTAIN cities but not in others. Like when I go to Houston or Chicago I get major SLAMMED for whatever reason. Planning my new tour now and trying to evaluate different cities as to their potential.

[EliLewis]

As a RentBoy and blogger I am very much interested in this topic and thank you for bringing it up! In my experience, as verymarried pointed out, that a lot of time is wasted and your demographic is thoroughly mixed when trying to offer monetary compensation to guys on an online hook-up or dating platform. There is a lot of "wasted much time, received a few nasty responses and have been stood up. I am just about over that and back looking at dedicated escorts." The very nature of the escorting business is to receive great, professional, discreet, and expedited service at a cost.

 

So, to answer the original question of how hook-up sites have impacted the business, I feel as though it has only brought more publicity and awareness to the fact that we are here and are ready and willing to provide our clients with whatever they desire. The use of escort review websites, Twitter, Facebook, and other social networks adds to these testimonials and advertising of us and our work. After all, there's never really such a thing as bad publicity.

[Damascene]

Life moves on.

 

Bars are now more social scenes and not to hook up. Online sites and apps are now to hook up. Even when bars were places to hook up, I did not hire in most of them, unless it was a "hustler bar". Similarly I don't hire off sites or apps, unless it is an escort site.

 

I rarely use apps or sites, but once in a while I go on. That said I was online on a hook up site a couple days ago, and I hit up by an attractive guy who I hired a few times in the mid 90's who recognized my face. He check if it was me, and then let me know he was still in business and at the same rates (which I think was $175 hr). That said it is a rarity that something like that happens.

[JoeyBryant]

I think the biz is still very stron in CERTAIN cities but not in others.

 

That's another point and I think it has a higher bearing than hookup apps. Getting away changes a lot of things. I don't really have a firm answer as to why things are the way they are locally, but I know it's nothing I'm doing or not doing because I can go away and do just fine.

 

Regardless of what it seems though, I do believe the apps/hookup sites could be a bigger culprit than imagined. I can attest I've seen guys who have hired, get onto these sites. Some still hire in rotation of the freebies, but I've seen some stop all together. I know there's a hot guy at my gym that looks to be close to 50 and drives a Viper, and seen him on Grindr. I'm thinking to myself, okay what's really going on here? Hypothetically speaking (in deep fantastical imagination) that guy COULD be a client. But now he's on Grindr and won't have a desire to. Ya never know.

[McLeanspider]

Hypothetically speaking (in deep fantastical imagination) that guy COULD be a client. But now he's on Grindr and won't have a desire to. Ya never know.

 

I've met escorts who could pass as clients too.

 

I know for a fact that before grindr in NYC some escorts would be hired by hot guys who wanted something NOW...

 

At my age and living in McLean Virginia, I have to pay if I want quality.