Confirm if you are dead or alive urgently

[Guy Fawkes]

"CONFIRM IF YOU ARE DEAD OR ALIVE URGENTLY" Thus was the subject line of a email message. I knew immediately it was important because they SHOUTED it at me.

 

And I was able to quickly determine which state I was in. The itty bitty machine was able to not only determine that I had blood pressure but that I indeed had a pulse. But for dickens of me, how was I to confirm my good news urgently?

 

I read a bit further: "ATTN:- Bonafide Beneficiary" why was they giving a cock and balls while telling me that I was about to get something.

 

Then the next line confused me even more: "Sir/Madam" heck if I was their beneficiary, you'd think that they'd know if I was male or female.

 

But after all they want to give me a share of "USD2,500.000.00M" of course "M" means million and so as near as I can tell I'm getting a part of a 2.5 trillion dollar pot or is it a 2.5 Quadrillion dollar pot? It's so very confusing.

 

All they need is my: "full name, address, telephone numbers/fax, age, sex and occupation" oh and "Also required is your means of identification" I can understand my contact information but my age and sex? Is it possible that they want to hook up with me sight unseen? How very interesting. Will they be able to handle that my occupation is "Daddy?" Then there is my means of identification, usually I use the mirror which works quite well.

 

My humor getting the best of me, I replied:

 

"Thank you for your concern; However I have been safely dead now for a week and the devil didn't find out until yesterday. My joy is complete and I raise a cup to your benevolence.

 

I was so happy to find out that Saint Peter is a gay old gentleman, we've get getting along wonderfully.

 

Please send my $2.500.000.00M to the loves of my life: Dr. Gbenga Daniel and Dr. Boni Yayia. If it were not for their unrequited love and extreme sexual talents, you would have found me still among the living. I died happy with a smile on my face.

 

My best respects from the other side of those pearly gates,"

 

 

So far they haven't replied. Thanks heavens I wasn't holding my breath. I'd look like a smurf.

[adriano46]

Lol

[+ Charlie]

I knew there would be email in heaven, but spam?!

[gcursor]

very funny Daddy!!!!!

 

"CONFIRM IF YOU ARE DEAD OR ALIVE URGENTLY" Thus was the subject line of a email message. I knew immediately it was important because they SHOUTED it at me.

 

And I was able to quickly determine which state I was in. The itty bitty machine was able to not only determine that I had blood pressure but that I indeed had a pulse. But for dickens of me, how was I to confirm my good news urgently?

 

I read a bit further: "ATTN:- Bonafide Beneficiary" why was they giving a cock and balls while telling me that I was about to get something.

 

Then the next line confused me even more: "Sir/Madam" heck if I was their beneficiary, you'd think that they'd know if I was male or female.

 

But after all they want to give me a share of "USD2,500.000.00M" of course "M" means million and so as near as I can tell I'm getting a part of a 2.5 trillion dollar pot or is it a 2.5 Quadrillion dollar pot? It's so very confusing.

 

All they need is my: "full name, address, telephone numbers/fax, age, sex and occupation" oh and "Also required is your means of identification" I can understand my contact information but my age and sex? Is it possible that they want to hook up with me sight unseen? How very interesting. Will they be able to handle that my occupation is "Daddy?" Then there is my means of identification, usually I use the mirror which works quite well.

 

My humor getting the best of me, I replied:

 

"Thank you for your concern; However I have been safely dead now for a week and the devil didn't find out until yesterday. My joy is complete and I raise a cup to your benevolence.

 

I was so happy to find out that Saint Peter is a gay old gentleman, we've get getting along wonderfully.

 

Please send my $2.500.000.00M to the loves of my life: Dr. Gbenga Daniel and Dr. Boni Yayia. If it were not for their unrequited love and extreme sexual talents, you would have found me still among the living. I died happy with a smile on my face.

 

My best respects from the other side of those pearly gates,"

 

 

So far they haven't replied. Thanks heavens I wasn't holding my breath. I'd look like a smurf.