No More Mr. Nice Guy

[jackhammer91406]

Okay, I have had enough. The events of the past few weeks, and especially last night, have made me realize that trying to add a positive influence in this community seems to be a wasted effort.

I said some months back, tongue in cheek, that it would take some time for me to become bitchy and angry. Ok, it's happened. I am still fuming about what happened to KY, and the appearance that the powers that be here are more concerned about the reputation of an escort than the physical and emotional damage caused by that escort.

Guys!, what's going on here???????

Last week, Love Bubble Butt asked for a show of support for our troops, and gets ripped for it. So he's gone.

On another thread, an escort shares that he was caught in a sting, and that thread has become a shouting match for who's legal expertise (read dick) is better (or bigger). Fortunately, that escort has hung around (for now) which is good because he seems to be a bright and thoughtful guy with much to add to discussions.

What is this place turning into. I am reminded that another escort recently pointed out that this whole interaction is supposed to be fun. I guess I really don't understand what motivates some of the people who post here.

For example, I get that an escort may solicite business privately, it is after all a MC revolving around hiring escorts. But when an escort actively and aggressively solicits business, and then rips the potential client for not "buying", that just doesn't seem right!

Most of you realize I am not the angry type and will ususally go out of my way NOT to to jump on people and will make an extra effort to see the other side of the story, so to speak. That day may be drawing to a close. It's clear that the longer I hang around here, the more likely I will begin to adopt some of these same traits I am ranting about today. Not sure I want to do that (which will no doubt delight some).

I need to go somewhere and breathe fresh air. I feel Dirty. Maybe a shower will help.

 

 

x(

[Guest in yer face]

This has been going on since the board started. In fact, its been worse. Whenever you get a bunch of anonymous people together, that can say whatever they want without reprocusion, this is what happens. In the real world, most of us would NEVER talk to each other the way that is done here. There would most likely be some serious ass kicking going on if they did.

 

Add to that the power play between escorts and the clients, and you get a volatile mix of social retardation.

 

>Okay, I have had enough. The events of the past few weeks,

>and especially last night, have made me realize that trying to

>add a positive influence in this community seems to be a

>wasted effort.

>I said some months back, tongue in cheek, that it would take

>some time for me to become bitchy and angry. Ok, it's

>happened. I am still fuming about what happened to KY, and

>the appearance that the powers that be here are more concerned

>about the reputation of an escort than the physical and

>emotional damage caused by that escort.

>Guys!, what's going on here???????

>Last week, Love Bubble Butt asked for a show of support for

>our troops, and gets ripped for it. So he's gone.

>On another thread, an escort shares that he was caught in a

>sting, and that thread has become a shouting match for who's

>legal expertise (read dick) is better (or bigger).

>Fortunately, that escort has hung around (for now) which is

>good because he seems to be a bright and thoughtful guy with

>much to add to discussions.

>What is this place turning into. I am reminded that another

>escort recently pointed out that this whole interaction is

>supposed to be fun. I guess I really don't understand what

>motivates some of the people who post here.

>For example, I get that an escort may solicite business

>privately, it is after all a MC revolving around hiring

>escorts. But when an escort actively and aggressively

>solicits business, and then rips the potential client for not

>"buying", that just doesn't seem right!

>Most of you realize I am not the angry type and will ususally

>go out of my way NOT to to jump on people and will make an

>extra effort to see the other side of the story, so to speak.

>That day may be drawing to a close. It's clear that the

>longer I hang around here, the more likely I will begin to

>adopt some of these same traits I am ranting about today. Not

>sure I want to do that (which will no doubt delight some).

>I need to go somewhere and breathe fresh air. I feel Dirty.

>Maybe a shower will help.

>

>

>x(

>

>

[Guest ortrud45]

Hello dear Jackhammer,

(please cool down and I don't want a fight)

 

Para #1: I understand your anger ... but ...

 

- KY TOP revealed enough facts that members of this board found a way

to reveal the identity of the culprit-escort without spelling his

name.

 

- By this the main purpose of the action is achieved/completed: a

serious warning to all out here to not consider this escort as a

trustworthy sexpatner in the future.

 

- So I think it's superfluous to critize the moderator(s) who erased

the post where the escorts name was mentioned: we found a way to

bend the rules of the message-center ... we know who this escort is,

and that's the important point.

 

Try to look at it this way and have a pleasant day: ortrud45

[Traveller]

Hey Guy,

 

I've said it a million times, more B&B - bumps and butt fucking. I try and lead by example.

 

On a more tragic note, Corey Clark was ousted today from American Idol. Doesn't his pic on cnn.com make you want to touch your toes and smile.

 

Later.

[woodlawn]

>Okay, I have had enough. The events of the past few weeks,

>and especially last night, have made me realize that trying to

>add a positive influence in this community seems to be a

>wasted effort.

 

I think it depends on what you mean by "positive." It should be clear to you by now that not everyone here agrees with your definition of that term.

 

>I am still fuming about what happened to KY, and

>the appearance that the powers that be here are more concerned

>about the reputation of an escort than the physical and

>emotional damage caused by that escort.

 

 

There is nothing new or unusual about that sort of thing. For example, there is an escort whose reviews are still posted here who has been accused by several clients of stealing money from them. Immediately after that accusation was made there was a rather oblique and unspecific warning posted above that escort's reviews, but that warning was later quietly dropped.

 

>I guess I really don't understand what

>motivates some of the people who post here.

 

And you're not the only one who has trouble understanding that. I have always found it a little hard to understand why anyone would try to insert in almost every post a reference to the fact that he has a mental illness, for example. If you are going to be honest about this, you'll have to admit that quite a few of the regulars here, including you, have certain habits that others have said they find annoying or offensive. I have not noticed that any of the regulars, including you, has responded to these complaints by changing his behavior. So what do you expect?

[Guest Les]

Jack...don't you think we need mean people so we can appreciate who's nice! :7

http://store4.yimg.com/I/shocku_1730_1911772

[Guest feisty1]

I think you're over-reacting, at least with reference to the incidences you mention that I'm familiar with. It seemed to me perfectly appropriate to remove the escort-in-question's name from the thread started by KY, given the accusatory nature of KY's post and the fact that he didn't explicitly identify the escort himself (which, I think, is his perogative). I didn't see Love Bubble Butt's post or the reaction to it, but if you're going to express a political opinion, chances are someone will disagree with it and say so. That, I think, is as it should be. Are you suggesting we shouldn't be allowed to debate other's opinions? I also don't know what you mean about an escort soliciting business and then ripping potential client's for not buying. But regarding the jeffOH / woodlawn debate, it seems to me they're both enjoying themselves and one or the other will end it when either ceases enjoying himself. Personally, I found it pretty entertaining for awhile, though it has become repetitive. It also seems just about to have played out; considering that the thread is dead but for their parrying, it's a simple enough matter not to read it if it bothers or bores you.

 

I guess what I really don't understand about your post is what you consider a "positive influence" to be. I'm inferring from what you wrote that you'd consider "negative influence" to be personal attacks on others. That I'd certainly agree with, but that has been going on for a long time and usually people are pretty good about chucking them off. We are all of us only human, bound to get angry sometimes, to exaggerate our emotions, get somewhat insulting. That comes with the territory in all forms of human interaction, particularly those that allow for anonymity. But that aside, people expressing their thoughts and feelings and sharing information seems positive to me, and that's what the majority of people here do most of the time.

 

The only change in character I've noticed over the few years (on again, off again) I've been following this message board that it seems to be more cliquish than it used to be, but there's really nothing unusual about that either. That does, however, tend to mean that disagreements can turn into arguments or turn insulting more quickly than they otherwise would, or might do so when they otherwise probably might not have done. But that's been a slow and steady progression, not something that's happened in the past few weeks.

 

>Guys!, what's going on here???????

 

So I guess my answer is, nothing out of the ordinary. What do you think is going on here, or should go on here that isn't, or shouldn't go on here that is?

 

--Michael

N.P. "Don't Let It Get You Down" - Echo & the Bunnymen

[Guest Les]

http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/corey/images/photo-v-6.jpg

 

http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/corey/images/photo-v-2.jpg

 

http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/corey/images/photo-v-7.jpg

[axebahia]

>I think you're over-reacting, at least with reference to the

>incidences you mention that I'm familiar with.

 

You are absolutely right. The over-medicated anti-depressant set here are overly sensitive queens who have very thin thins. I am still trying to figure out whether that is a cause or effect of their medication and therapy.

[dick_nyc]

what are thin thins

[axebahia]

>what are thin thins

 

Sorry, "thin skins".

[Will]

Jack, stick around. Like you, from time to time I've got fed up. But I took a few days off and remembered that M4M is not, actually, a society of friends or even of like-minded people. You can't choose the people who post here, and so you have to take what you get. Yes, there are some appallingly dreadful people here, real sociopaths; but there is also a larger number of interesting, intelligent, kind men who deserve to be called gentlemen.

 

Maybe you could temper your frustration if you set aside your project of having a "good influence." That means that -- however well-intentioned -- you have certain ideas about the kinds of things people "ought" to say and the ways they "ought" to say it. Not only can you not control (OK: "influence") other people. They are almost certain to do things according to their lights and not yours.

 

This is a great place to learn how to apply that wise cliche, "Live and Let Live." You don't have to respond to posts you find offensive; and you can also join me in remembering that people who use anonymity as an excuse for incivility are just looking for reasons to justify their contempt for other people. I've had my share of that (contempt), and I'm beginning to learn not to pay attention to it. Why should I let some coarse, self-important, aggressive and unhappy man make me feel bad? Why should you? Don't give them the authority: that's hard to do, but it's well worth it.

 

Mostly, please don't go away!

[+ Lucky]

jack, some people are coarse and some are phony. Some will reach out to you and help you have a good time when you visit their city, even introduce you to their families. Others will just use you to get the info they want, but have no interest in you as a person. It's a real mix.

[Uncle Bill]

Are you aware that the show hasn't aired yet on the West Coast? I guess that I don't need to watch now. x(

[LovesYng]

Jack, I'm the type who is always lost for words when I want to say something. PLEASE don't leave, have always enjoyed the stoires about you and little jack. As other people have said let it go over you head and don't worry about the past and start fresh tomorrow.

 

I don't always aggree what's said in here at times, I'm my own person just like you are your own person. People can say want they like and we can say what we like, that's the american way, we got to live with it. STAY AROUND.........:+

[+ Lucky]

RE: No More Mr. Corey Guy

 

I am so sad that he got dumped! Why God why?;(

[Chuck50]

Jack, Jack we love you we can't stand it if you leave HUGS Chuck:9

[bluenix]

>Okay, I have had enough. The events of the past few weeks,

>and especially last night, have made me realize that trying to

>add a positive influence in this community seems to be a

>wasted effort.

 

I come for the drama. http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-43.gif

 

A little more seriously, so everybody doesn't think like you do. Welcome to the hard work of diversity.

 

(BTW, I liked reading about your trip to NYC.)

[Guest pshaw]

RE: No More Mr. Corey Guy

 

Per today's Washington Post:

"Fox yanked Clark after learning from Web site the Smoking Gun that he is due in court this month for allegedly assaulting his teenage sister and then resisting arrest."

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A63537-2003Mar31.html

[Flower]

[Font color="blue"

] > I am still fuming about what happened to KY, and

>the appearance that the powers that be here are more concerned

>about the reputation of an escort than the physical and

>emotional damage caused by that escort.

 

[Font color="green"

] Well you should be pissed at what happened in KY, but you have not shown ANY good basis to pissed at this board. The posters for the most part were supportive and managed to "get the word out" despite the moderator's (hmmm--can I use his name here)? lame decision. Several people all agreed with you and said shame-shame to the bad guy. What more do you want?

I'm not saying you are one of the people that just come to the board to complain and seek hand holding, but many do, and this ain't the place for it in my opinion. That may make people more mad at me than many already are, but I pretty much say what I think here and in real life, and don't become more candid or antagonistic just because of anonymity--and yes, many people in real life think I'm an asshole, but I say pfffffft! :+

 

[Font color="blue"

]

>Last week, Love Bubble Butt asked for a show of support for

>our troops, and gets ripped for it. So he's gone.

[font color="green"

] Well then he's one of the people that the saying "if you don't like the heat stay outta the kitchen" was meant to protect. He brings a topic with all sorts of political and emotional baggage and expects what? Accolades? I like his posts usually and hope he doesn't stay away, but why do you assume that anyway?

 

[font color="blue"

] >On another thread, an escort shares that he was caught in a

>sting, and that thread has become a shouting match for who's

>legal expertise (read dick) is better (or bigger).

[font color="green"

] Sorry you read it that way. I myself thought he got good advise from several sources, even though I disagreed with some of it and said so--but was it ego motivated--I didn't see that in others--and they seemed to be genuinely concerned for his welfare and trying to help him--and I certainly was despite his derogatory comments about attorneys in another post.

[font color="blue"

]

> I am reminded that another

>escort recently pointed out that this whole interaction is

>supposed to be fun. I guess I really don't understand what

>motivates some of the people who post here.

 

[font color="green"

] Apperantly NOT. People make their own fun in life and they hang out with people they like and like to be with USUALLY because they have things in common and have similar opinions of fun. I enjoy the MC--I enjoy the many ideas I see here especially the ones I disagree with cause it challenges me and my thinking and if important enough, motivates me to articulate my thoughts in (relatively) short responses which forces me to focus--it's a challenge and I enjoy it. I get mad, happy, LOL, and enjoy seeing the dynamics of the board. It's a microcosm of a gay community without most of the responsibility.

 

But even responsibility is assumed by most posters. Posters here have acquired an "interest" in their screen names--a reputation as such--and have for many, spent tlong hours and many many posts developing their MC persona and they care what they say and do using that screen name--why else does someone take on a new screen name just to rip on or trash someone else that is popular here? This board is fun and dynamic and energetic at times and if true need, can be your friend for the most part. But don't expect too much from the board--it's only human :+

 

[font color="blue"

]

>Most of you realize I am not the angry type and will ususally

>go out of my way NOT to to jump on people

[font color="green"

]

Well maybe you should once in a while--it might help you vent and express something constructive in the process. But if that isn't your style, then just don't do it cause you have anonymity, especially if it makes you unhappy.

[font color="blue"

]

It's clear that the

>longer I hang around here, the more likely I will begin to

>adopt some of these same traits I am ranting about today. Not

>sure I want to do that (which will no doubt delight some).

>I need to go somewhere and breathe fresh air.

[font color="green"

]

And if the board truly makes you angry all the time or unhappy all the time, then take a break, cause I really doubt if it will change. don't take this as a negative post toward you cause I think you usually make a good contribution--sorry you think the MC has gone to hell

[Guest fukamarine]

I have just re-read Jack's post.

 

Why are so many members pleading with him not to jump ship - so to speak?

 

I don't get the message that he has threatened to quit! He's pissed, and has probably now learned that "The World of M4M" can be a pretty volitile place - welcome to the real world Jack. But he never said he was leaving.

 

I am one of those who has criticized his sometimes tiresome wide-eyed over-the-top enthusiastic take on "The Life Gay" but that doesn't mean that I dislike him. I'm sure he's a nice guy and the qualities that sometimes irk me about him probably stem from his 18yr hiatus from the world that we all frequent on a daily basis - what he is going through now could be compared to the kid in a candy store.

 

So don't be so quick to assume that he is bailing. Methinks he'll stick around a good while longer to give us his take on things. And that's OK too!

 

fukamarine

[Traveller]

>Are you aware that the show hasn't aired yet on the West

>Coast? I guess that I don't need to watch now. x(

 

Mush for brains,

 

He was fired from the show, Sparky. He wasn't showing up, even in your lifetime; although I would've paid to watch you in your living room for the next 4 months, breathless in anticipation at his imminent his appearance. How many time did your head bounce when you fell off your mother's lap reaching for the ho-hos.

 

Later.

[Uncle Bill]

I jumped to a conclusion from your post -- for which I was prepared to apologize once I heard why he was "ousted".

 

You launch into a juvenile personal attack. Very classy. I can now skip over posts from yet another unpleasant person on this site. Thanks for saving me the time.

[Traveller]

>You launch into a juvenile personal attack. Very classy. I

>can now skip over posts from yet another unpleasant person on

>this site. Thanks for saving me the time.

 

Any ole time Skippy. One question. Did you cry progressively more each consecutive time you were the first one out in dodgeball? Just wondering.

 

Later.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Grease Is The Word

 

>I think you're over-reacting, at least with reference to the

>incidences you mention that I'm familiar with. It seemed to

>me perfectly appropriate to remove the escort-in-question's

>name from the thread started by KY, given the accusatory

>nature of KY's post and the fact that he didn't explicitly

>identify the escort himself (which, I think, is his

>perogative).

 

There are a number of instances in the last 18 months that have not just been Fawing Hype over escorts, where escorts were named. I could provide a list of ten names here of guys, many of whom post regularly, who have been accused or attacked specifically by name. This does not include people like me (and another 30 - 40 escorts) who were treated like pieces of meat in posts, none of them in a flattering matter.

 

Yes, we put ourselves up there, but there is a big difference in saying Escort A is too fat or Escort B is using an out of date picture and specific accusations. KY Top made the choice (for reasons he explained in another post) not to name the escort. Others were able to figure it out and tell others without posting the escort's name. Is this silly? Perhaps. What I think is going on is that the Moderators are trying to adhere more tightly to the rules.

 

When I first started posting here, I posted some sentences in Italian; all posts are supposed to be in English. My posts first appeared as I wrote them and then were edited and then some were removed completely. The job of the moderators is not necessarily to edit our posts. I believe it is our job, especially those of us who are not moderated, to "police ourselves."

 

Human nature is what it is. People are better than they think they are but often act worse than they need. It is what makes us human. We all have to find out own path and we walk that path alone.

 

>

>The only change in character I've noticed over the few years

>(on again, off again) I've been following this message board

>that it seems to be more cliquish than it used to be, but

>there's really nothing unusual about that either. That does,

>however, tend to mean that disagreements can turn into

>arguments or turn insulting more quickly than they otherwise

>would, or might do so when they otherwise probably might not

>have done. But that's been a slow and steady progression, not

>something that's happened in the past few weeks.

 

Just like high school, with little gangs and cliques, favorites and the shunned.