When Does Information--Become Too Much Information?

[Boner]

It seems to me, that the art/act of getting laid is being way over thought and way over dissected these days; almost to the point of turning it into a clinical visit and process of expectation, based upon the multiple test results from the others who came before you.

 

When did getting laid all of a sudden become the equal to taste testing Boar's Head Ham at your local deli and saying, "I'll have more of that"?

 

I get the need to know certain things about escorts. But when getting laid depends on so much research and so much information about the guy you are going to have sex with beforehand---how much less fun are you then having in the end because of all this research, and is it possibly creating a false illusion in your head about the times you will personally experience as opposed to what other people have shared previously with the guy?

 

Say what you will - But the best sex initially, is the sex you will have with someone you have never met or never thought of before in your life. And that's where simple chemistry mixes itself into our very complex minds of sexual need.

 

I think that sex should be disappointing from time to time for all of us. Why shouldn't it be?

 

Whether you're buying it from an escort or getting it from a night-club pick-up, or elsewhere, It's what makes us grow sexually as people.

 

Expecting good, great, or even perfect sex from any given individual, under any circumstance; paid for, or by personal, mutual physical attraction is just denying reality. I personally grew more from my bad sexual encounters when I was young than I ever did from my good ones. They taught me more about me at the time, than I knew about me at the time.

 

But anyway, I'm sure everyone's experiences and needs have been, and are different from mine.

 

Just something I've been thinking about lately.

[gallahadesquire]

My current "regular" is far from my "perfect male". Something about his ad hit me upside the head.

 

We didn't talk much, and we've had many, many overnights which are great fun.

 

I agree: You have to go with your sense, not with yourmind, sometimes; it may mislead you, but

you may also go to places you never imagined existed.

[doitb4ugo]

Thanks for this post, Boner. It does give a different perspective and has given me some things to think about given my more recent foray into hookups vs. hires....the two are so different in so many ways...

 

I had a very hot encounter yesterday that was both spontaneous and very satisfying for me....but as in many of my hookups..not everything went perfectly...I was beating myself up today about how I could have done a better job with my friend but your post helped me see that I need to let go of perfect and enjoy the moment and the heat we generated as imperfect as it was....thanks

[bigvalboy]

Interesting point. I am heading out of town to see someone in a couple of days. Many details are being arranged, but I am just not that kind of guy, if it works out fine, if not, then I get on a plane and come home. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"...... "Honey Badger don't give a shit" ...Why stress over the details and worry about what might be. I have done some research, he has great reviews, we have met before, so everything should be fine, but I do not go into this with any expectations. It is what it is...Right now I am relaxed, and I am anticipating a nice weekend. If all goes to shit, then Monday I will wake up and start anew...

[rvwnsd]

It seems to me, that the art/act of getting laid is being way over thought and way over dissected these days; almost to the point of turning it into a clinical visit and process of expectation, based upon the multiple test results from the others who came before you.

 

When did getting laid all of a sudden become the equal to taste testing Boar's Head Ham at your local deli and saying, "I'll have more of that"?...

 

At least when you taste the ham you are relying on your taste buds when making the decision. Would you ask the guy next to you to taste the ham and then buy it (or not) based on his opinion? That's pretty much what we do when we rely so heavily on reviews and the exhaustive details contained therein. Think of all the product failures that were designed based on focus group results.

 

Interesting point. I am heading out of town to see someone in a couple of days. Many details are being arranged, but I am just not that kind of guy, if it works out fine, if not, then I get on a plane and come home...

 

My sentiments exactly. When I travel out of town to see someone, even for a 2-hour trip, I also plan to do something else I find fun and entertaining. By doing so, I have something else to look forward to. If the date goes fabulously, I have done TWO fun things. If it is so-so or not so great, I still did something fun.

 

My current "regular" is far from my "perfect male". Something about his ad hit me upside the head.

 

I hooked up regularly with a guy who really isn't what I usually fall for, but something told me to go for it. I did and am very glad for having done so. He's the first guy to make me cum while getting fucked. Full disclosure: I mentioned that fact in my review of him.

 

...You have to go with your sense, not with yourmind, sometimes; it may mislead you, but

you may also go to places you never imagined existed.

 

Another great point. I've found that when I've researched anything to death and put together scenarios of an ideal encounter they rarely work out and I am disappointed.

 

All that being said, I don't want to devalue the benefits of reading reviews. If a guy constantly no-shows or does not look remotely like his pics, then I don't hire. At the same time, I don't discount guys who are not reviewed. Had I done so, I would have missed out on some very, very fun times.

[Boner]

....the two are so different in so many ways...

 

They are babe, but not so much.

 

Buying sex on Rentboy is really no different than buying a well reviewed battery at Walmart. You're expecting the same satisfaction and value in return for you dollar spent. Based on user reviews and performance.

 

The difference is, NOBODY will ever give you the sexual charge you are looking for except for those who might feel the same way toward you that you feel about them. That's just sexual chemistry.

 

You can pay all you want for sexual satisfaction - but in the end, it will rarely be chemistry and it will never be long-lasting.

[bigvalboy]

Another great point. I've found that when I've researched anything to death and put together scenarios of an ideal encounter they rarely work out and I am disappointed.

 

All that being said, I don't want to devalue the benefits of reading reviews. If a guy constantly no-shows or does not look remotely like his pics, then I don't hire. At the same time, I don't discount guys who are not reviewed. Had I done so, I would have missed out on some very, very fun times.

 

 

One of my best friends from the M-F...regularly takes chances..hey sometimes he calls and says, "Ya know BVB, it was a disaster" and we laugh about it...and other times he sends me links of guys that are unbelievably gorgeous, and I am thinking..."Scam"... Sent me a pic of a guy the other day that was built better than that Gymnast that everyone was all "goo goo" eyes over today, and I said, "there is no way this hunk is legit", but HE WAS, and the encounter was memorable... you know what, many many times the guy is legit and you find that one person that is spectacular...He is "Livin Large"...and there is never a dull moment...I say "God Bless Him"

[Boner]

I've found that when I've researched anything to death and put together scenarios of an ideal encounter they rarely work out and I am disappointed.

 

I guess you just expressed in a sentence what took me multiple paragraphs to express.

[jjkrkwood]

And even with a well reviewed product, YOU can always get a lemon. Think about it !

[maxwellissmart]

It seems to me, that the art/act of getting laid is being way over thought and way over dissected these days; almost to the point of turning it into a clinical visit and process of expectation, based upon the multiple test results from the others who came before you.

 

When did getting laid all of a sudden become the equal to taste testing Boar's Head Ham at your local deli and saying, "I'll have more of that"?

 

I get the need to know certain things about escorts. But when getting laid depends on so much research and so much information about the guy you are going to have sex with beforehand---how much less fun are you then having in the end because of all this research, and is it possibly creating a false illusion in your head about the times you will personally experience as opposed to what other people have shared previously with the guy?

 

Say what you will - But the best sex initially, is the sex you will have with someone you have never met or never thought of before in your life. And that's where simple chemistry mixes itself into our very complex minds of sexual need.

 

I think that sex should be disappointing from time to time for all of us. Why shouldn't it be?

 

Whether you're buying it from an escort or getting it from a night-club pick-up, or elsewhere, It's what makes us grow sexually as people.

 

Expecting good, great, or even perfect sex from any given individual, under any circumstance; paid for, or by personal, mutual physical attraction is just denying reality. I personally grew more from my bad sexual encounters when I was young than I ever did from my good ones. They taught me more about me at the time, than I knew about me at the time.

 

But anyway, I'm sure everyone's experiences and needs have been, and are different from mine.

 

Just something I've been thinking about lately.

 

Boner—here's an escort's viewpoint on what you said.

 

"It seems to me, that the art/act of getting laid is being way over thought and way over dissected these days; almost to the point of turning it into a clinical visit and process of expectation..."

 

For many people who participate in this activity—hiring an escort is far more than being about "getting laid." It's about validation, experimentation, personal growth and acceptance. Sure, many of the people I've seen over the past couple of years have wanted to get their rocks off, and didn't come to the table wanting much more than that. Just keep in mind that this is a very expensive form of therapy and/or entertainment. Would you go to a restaurant with shitty reviews, or the one that has been fawned upon in every publication? And don't forget—this is an activity that can get you hurt, arrested or killed if you're not careful.

 

"I get the need to know certain things about escorts. But when getting laid depends on so much research and so much information about the guy you are going to have sex with beforehand---how much less fun are you then having in the end because of all this research..."

 

In a way I concur. I have specifically asked certain clients not to write reviews before, because I didn't want to see their clinical assessment of our meetings.

 

"Say what you will - But the best sex initially, is the sex you will have with someone you have never met or never thought of before in your life."

 

Funny, I just had a client tell me this same thing about two hours ago. I'll admit it—I'm a bed-hopper and one of the best things for me with escorting is the variety. But I've had at least three clients (and one in particular) with whom the sex has only gotten better over time, and looking back—those first times don't really compare in quality.

 

"I think that sex should be disappointing from time to time for all of us. Why shouldn't it be?"

 

Why should it be? Especially if it IS paid for? What are we supposed to learn from bad sex—that we make mistakes and think with our dicks? When someone gives me their good money, my mindset is this: "My client has paid me and deserves to have a good time." And so, I work to achieve that—just like I would with any normal person I encountered for sex. The ironic thing is that if I held up all my client experiences to my non-client ones—the client experiences would far surpass the others in quality. I think the fact that money is involved automatically makes many people try harder in bed—because there's a goal of enjoyment to be achieved.

 

"Expecting good, great, or even perfect sex from any given individual, under any circumstance; paid for, or by personal, mutual physical attraction is just denying reality."

 

Back to quality—I've had excellent sex with clients. One client remains far and away the best sexual partner I've ever had.

[unsub2O17]

I think that it depends on your personality. To me, "knowledge is power". The reviews are information that helps me make a more informed decision on a situation fraught with uncertainty. A more spontaneous person than I am may feel that the less planned the better. But I don't think that way. If I make as informed a decision as I can, I'm less likely to be tense and, therefore, I am more likely to enjoy the encounter.

[jjkrkwood]

Another example of "Just do what makes you feel good and right " Whatever method works, DO IT ! Remember, there are NO Refunds given in Escorting !

[robberbaron4u]

As my buggy is way down the road of life, I am too old for anything to prove a disappointment. . .

[jjkrkwood]

As my buggy is way down the road of life, I am too old for anything to prove a disappointment. . .

 

I'm sure your "buggy" is more like a classic Edsel ?????

[robberbaron4u]

Buick Riviera. . .

[bigvalboy]

Buick Riviera. . .

 

They stopped making those years ago robber...if it is "old" enough, it could be a classic...is it by chance the old "Split" window. OH dear, listen to me, I have done 'hijacked' yet another thread...

[jgoo]

I think that it depends on your personality. To me, "knowledge is power". The reviews are information that helps me make a more informed decision on a situation fraught with uncertainty. A more spontaneous person than I am may feel that the less planned the better. But I don't think that way. If I make as informed a decision as I can, I'm less likely to be tense and, therefore, I am more likely to enjoy the encounter.

 

I agree totally. The point of too much information is different for everyone. On one end are those that thrive on uncertainty, spontaneity and have a high risk tolerance. On the other end are those that like things well defined, extensively analyzed/researched and have a very low risk tolerance. In between are all kinds of shade of grey. I don't think you can change who you are and how you go about things so make the best of whatever approach works for you.

[+ purplekow]

I think that sex should be disappointing from time to time for all of us. Why shouldn't it be?

 

Whether you're buying it from an escort or getting it from a night-club pick-up, or elsewhere, It's what makes us grow sexually as people.

 

Expecting good, great, or even perfect sex from any given individual, under any circumstance; paid for, or by personal, mutual physical attraction is just denying reality. I personally grew more from my bad sexual encounters when I was young than I ever did from my good ones. They taught me more about me at the time, than I knew about me at the time.

 

To my mind there is only good sex and better sex. I have never had bad sex, after all, whatever one calls bad sex, it is still sex. There is body heat, and touching and sweat and other fluids. How can that be bad? I go in with the expectation of having my body lose control and convulse in satisfaction and I come out smiling. That is how sex works for me.

 

Now one can have good sex with a bad person and that can add a slant to the encounter but sex itself, NEVER BAD.

[maxwellissmart]

To my mind there is only good sex and better sex. I have never had bad sex, after all, whatever one calls bad sex, it is still sex. There is body heat, and touching and sweat and other fluids. How can that be bad? I go in with the expectation of having my body lose control and convulse in satisfaction and I come out smiling. That is how sex works for me.

 

Now one can have good sex with a bad person and that can add a slant to the encounter but sex itself, NEVER BAD.

 

I disagree—sex can be very bad if there's a disconnect between the two (or more!) people involved, if there's disrespect, or an unwillingness to share. I've gotten plenty of that—and sadly, it's usually been from a partner.

[jjkrkwood]

Sex can sometimes be disappointing and unfulling, so if THAT makes it bad, then its Bad.... You can walk away feeling still horny, indifferent, let down, etc....Or perhaps the expectations you had for the sex going into it and that werent realized left you feeling the encounter was bad ???? And the amount of info you gather certainly has an impact on Those expectations.

[Boner]

Sex can sometimes be disappointing and unfulling, so if THAT makes it bad, then its Bad....

 

That would have been a better choice of words to use in my OP. But bad can also apply too. Just last night I told my hand to get out!

[jjkrkwood]

That would have been a better choice of words to use in my OP. But bad can also apply too. Just last night I told my hand to get out!

 

WELL i HAD A 3-SOME AND LET BOTH MY HANDS STAY....

[Steven_Draker]

... those that like things well defined, extensively analyzed/researched

 

I prefer the more relaxed approach to the whole process. What information are you gathering and what are you analyzing and researching extensively? After all it boils down to personal chemistry.

 

Relax ... It's just sex, after all.

[Xander]

I always get annoyed when I get an email with a fantasy request that is 4-5 pages long. I do like it when I'm presented with concepts, fantasies, requests etc. but part of my job is being able to do what I do well, sometimes on the fly, and with my unique style. When I'm presented with a long list of instructions for a session, I sometimes feel like I am simply an easily replaceable tool, and that so long as another person can enact his wishes perfectly, I'm easily replaced. When there is a strict itinerary on what will be done and in what order I know that I'm not going to be enjoying myself as much -- to me its all about stirring and mixing with each other during mutual exploration.

 

But when I do get these sort of clients, I have a tendency to do exactly as they described for the first 30 minutes -- then I get creative and start doing my own thing mixing their fantasies with my own. I've never had any complaints from this (in fact, two of my daddysreviews are from these clients). I find creative fantasy is sometimes used to block insecurity, a fear of the unknown, etc. which is natural and completely understandable.

[unsub2O17]

I've lost count in this forum on how many times I've read the phrase "communication is key (or "the key")." Gentlemen, which is it?? Do you want communication or don't you? Or is the client/escort just supposed to "know" when it's enough but not too much or too little?