who initiates?

[bigvalboy]

This sounds good in theory and almost never works in practice—at least not for me, anyway.

 

 

'Almost never' is not...NEVER!!

 

Me: Hey how are you. You have great reviews and you come highly recommended. I would like to hire you for an overnight.

Escort: Great, I would be totally up for that.

Me: A couple of things, First I want to make sure that we are on the same page.

Escort: great, what are your thoughts

ME: I would take you to dinner first, then we will go home and have 'play' time. We will sleep from about 10 pm till 8 am, I want to have 'play' time also in the morning, ya know for 'morning wood' (sound of me laughing)

Escort: No problem

Me: One more thing, I do want us to have not only good time, but also relaxed. I just want to make sure that you don't have to run off to work in the morning.

Escort: Well actually I have another job, I have to be at work in the morning at around 9 am

Me: Well, this won't work very well. Perhaps we should re-schedule for the weekend.

Escort: Good idea BVB, that is actually better for me. You are the BEST and most CONSIDERATE client ever.

Me: I know, I do what I can.

 

(close scene) cue music. escort is on the phone to his best friend.

Escort: Hey dude, guess what, this guy BVB just hired me for an overnight. He sounds like the BEST and most CONSIDERATE guy ever, and you know what dude, he sounds 'Hot' maybe I just won't charge him, ya know dude like a freebie.

[gcursor]

amusing

 

Very funny maxwell. I could actually hear the voices as you were writing them. When the client says that, does he stamp his feet and hold his breath?

 

gcursor

 

This sounds good in theory and almost never works in practice—at least not for me, anyway.

 

Client: "I want to hire you for an overnight."

Me: "Let's get together for a couple of hours first and check how well we work together."

Client: "NO I WANT AN OVERNIGHT I WANT AN OVERNIGHT I WANT AN OVERNIGHT..."

Me: "Fine. Let's schedule an overnight..." Client: "Yay!"

Me: "So, do you snore?"

(a pause)

Client: "Snore? Why... NO, NO I DON'T SNORE, WHAT'S THAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS "TO SNORE," WHY, WHAT A FUNNY WORD—IS THAT FRENCH, WHY I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING..."

 

Me (at 3am—as snoring Client sounds like a cross between an avalanche, a dying pig and a freight train): "I will never do this again, I will never do this again..."

 

Client: "WAKE UP! WHY WON'T YOU WAKE UP AND SERVICE ME? IT'S 6:45 AND THE SUN IS ALMOST UP AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GIVING ME MY MONEY'S WORTH! THIS IS THE WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!" (pouts, as I try to force open my eyes and contemplate murder-suicide)

 

Keep in mind this isn't that far from the truth. Every single client I've ever had an overnight with has lied about snoring. They do it, they know they do it, and they think this time will somehow be different. This, along with trying to get clean to bottom in some strange bathroom, are the two reasons why I do not travel with clients. Ever.

[unsub2O17]

This sounds good in theory and almost never works in practice—at least not for me, anyway.

 

Client: "I want to hire you for an overnight."

Me: "Let's get together for a couple of hours first and check how well we work together."

Client: "NO I WANT AN OVERNIGHT I WANT AN OVERNIGHT I WANT AN OVERNIGHT..."

Me: "Fine. Let's schedule an overnight..." Client: "Yay!"

Me: "So, do you snore?"

(a pause)

Client: "Snore? Why... NO, NO I DON'T SNORE, WHAT'S THAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS "TO SNORE," WHY, WHAT A FUNNY WORD—IS THAT FRENCH, WHY I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING..."

 

Me (at 3am—as snoring Client sounds like a cross between an avalanche, a dying pig and a freight train): "I will never do this again, I will never do this again..."

 

Client: "WAKE UP! WHY WON'T YOU WAKE UP AND SERVICE ME? IT'S 6:45 AND THE SUN IS ALMOST UP AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GIVING ME MY MONEY'S WORTH! THIS IS THE WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!" (pouts, as I try to force open my eyes and contemplate murder-suicide)

 

Keep in mind this isn't that far from the truth. Every single client I've ever had an overnight with has lied about snoring. They do it, they know they do it, and they think this time will somehow be different. This, along with trying to get clean to bottom in some strange bathroom, are the two reasons why I do not travel with clients. Ever.

 

Max, I hope you know that I like you, but #1) I really do know what snoring is, and I DO NOT do it. #2) your other point about doing a 2 hour visit first does seem to be prudent, but wouldn't help you at all with the overnight issue.

[maxwellissmart]

Very funny maxwell. I could actually hear the voices as you were writing them. When the client says that, does he stamp his feet and hold his breath?

 

gcursor

 

Yes, it's called apnea.