advice

[best hotel]

Please help....Have you guys ever fallen in love with an escort?...How do you keep your emotions out of the mix?...How do you continue to enjoy the company of this escort without feeling the built in rejection that is inherent in the professional nature of the relationship? ...I feel like a foolish schoolboy with a broken heart of my own making.

[VaHawk]

I've never fallen in love with an escort, although others probably have so there is no reason to feel like a foolish schoolboy. It is just one of the pit falls you have look out for if you spend a lot of time with one particular escort, as there has to be something there on a personal level that attracts you to him besides sex. Just keep in the front of your mind at all times that he is probably already committed in a personal relationship and that whereas you see few or only the one escort, he sees a lot of clients. Just accept that fact and enjoy the time you spend with him. If all else fails just keep humming the old Hank Williams song "if you got the money, honey, I got the time". You may want to avoid this particular escort for awhile and see some others until you're over your infatuation.

[ted]

If you've found an escort you really like, and you seem to click with each other, it is easy to start falling. You need to keep reminding yourself that HE IS DOING HIS JOB, and doing it well, but it is a job on his part and he is not falling for you. That sounds easy, but takes a while, and hopefully you won't really get hurt emotionally or financially while you get there.

When I first started seeing escorts I tended to "fall" for them. I tend to do repeats once I find someone I like-I've been seeing my original guy since '97- but am able to remain more emotionally distanced. I've never really been hurt, but it certainly was difficult the first time a "regular" retired.

[phage]

These guys are being way too gentle because it really is foolish. You already know that you're heading down a path that can only lead to disaster, so if you can’t compartmentalize sex and emotion, you should probably get out of the game. At a minimum, stop seeing the object of your desire.

 

The fact is that these guys would not be seeing any of us if it were not for the money. It's not pretty, but that’s a scab that I simply choose not to pick. If you are dwelling on it and consider it “rejection” then you might want to find a new hobby until you can look at it as a laugh and a smile with a nice squirt at the end.

[Guest Lunario]

Phage........well said. I am seeing a therapist about just such an episode. He told me there are "head" people and "heart" people. The head people can just do sex with their heads and forget it. The heart people put their hearts into it and get hooked. I am the latter. I was seeing one escort for six months, maybe twice or three times a month, or whenever he could.......lots of money. I got totally hooked, and my mind told me I was crazy and what a waste of time it was, etc...but my emotions just went the way they wanted. It is very painful. I no longer see this guy. If one is inclined to be of a romantic hiring escorts is dangerous. They create the fantasy, and that is all it is.......a fantasy. I unfortunately believed the fantasy. I no longer see this guy, and it is a long sad story why. A happy ending is that I am seeing a real, available person. I met this total stranger in the parking lot of a market and he admired my car......I thanked him .....and we got talking and talking...and he gave me his business card and I got aggressive and called.

 

I realize that hiring is not for me. I have too many abandonment issues even for a real relationship, so hiring is really asking for trouble.

[woodlawn]

>These guys are being way too gentle because it really is

>foolish. You already know that you're heading down a path that

>can only lead to disaster, so if you can’t compartmentalize

>sex and emotion, you should probably get out of the game. At

>a minimum, stop seeing the object of your desire.

>

>The fact is that these guys would not be seeing any of us if

>it were not for the money. It's not pretty, but that’s a scab

>that I simply choose not to pick. If you are dwelling on it

>and consider it “rejection” then you might want to find a new

>hobby until you can look at it as a laugh and a smile with a

>nice squirt at the end.

>

 

Excellent summary of the situation. If prostitution were a regulated industry, the regulatory agency would require each hooker to give each client a card with this information on it at the beginning of each session.

[Chuck50]

I am on my way to doing the same. IF I did not know they was truly in love with another and in a relationship then might be fooled. But it is still so easy to feel that it is all about me and him. HUGS Chuck:P

[sdg]

hey just go with it and enjoy it.

[foxy]

Most guys, especially in the begining, fall in love with an escort. It comes with the territory. Eventually we realize that it's a dead end. Escorts are attractive guys who are good at sex and hopefully non-judgemental. You are (for an hour or more) the focus of their attention. It's hard to accept the fact that it isn't a "real" relationship. We've all been there. I think the hardest part of being an escort (at least the good ones) must be in letting down a client easily. We're all looking for love. You can't buy love. Isn't that a song? Remember that and you'll be ok.

[ad rian]

>These guys are being way too gentle because it really is

>foolish.

 

I must be a veteran now if I am going to suggest you look at past threads, but .... I don't think that you have to feel foolish. I have come to see that some escorts cross back and forth between friendship and work in a way that leads to emotional confusion on the part of the client. There are some tell-tale signs of this when the escort slips from escort to personable hustler. If the escort starts intitiating contact, controlling the situation too much, or trying to stay longer or do more expensive things and then springs an extra compensatiion request after the fact albeit with an engaging smile etc, you are on the road to be taken. It means he has found your weak spot, and as difficult as it may sound you must withdraw. A good, honest and professional escort it seems to me would not let things get to this stage.

[VaHawk]

>I have come to see that some escorts cross back and

>forth between friendship and work in a way that leads to

>emotional confusion on the part of the client. There are some

>tell-tale signs of this when the escort slips from escort to

>personable hustler.>

 

Excellently stated! Sometimes when an escort and client are together often, I feel that there is more to the attraction than just physical contact. You start to forget that it is just business on the escort's part, and I agree with your statement that a top of the line escort would put things in a more realistic perspective for the client, especially "newbies". Those who would exploit the situation are as you so eloquently state a personable hustler, exploiting the client's emotional weaknesses! Great post ad rian!

[Guest ManhattanMan]

Yes, indeed. Go for it, but use you head as well as your heart. I have probably spent $30K or so on escorts over the last four years and have had a great time doing it. I've found that escorts are guys first and escorts second. Some are manipulative and some guileless, but most are just boys and men making some money and trying to have a decent time despite the obvious drawbacks to the profession.

 

Anyway, I haven't contributed to these threads in a few years but am a regular reader. I only write now because I've had the same thing happen to me lately. He moved in today. (Yes Rick I wanted YOU, but that darn Derrick is so possessive!) We're going to try to be patient, non-jealous and control expectations. And most of all just love each other to pieces. If it works, it works.

[VaHawk]

I agree, just go for it and have fun! If you can't deal with the fact that it is just a time for money proposition, then run, don't walk, as fast as you can from this entire escort/client scenario. To expect anything more than time and other services for your money is JUST TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT!!! Never, ever subjugate yourself to anyone, much less someone who rents by the hour! "who rents" could be contracted to "whore" as FFF says, hmmm? is that where he got that from?