Rejected by Masseur. Where did I go wrong?

[josephga]

Exactly...

 

That's why some men are willing to pay more for massage than at a $35/hr assembly line massage parlor advertised in the coupon clipper. You can't (as far as I know) get nude at Massage Envy. I had a client who told me he'd went to one of those 'massage parlors' and began to get nude. The lady freaked out and ran out the room telling him it wasn't that kind of massage. Was he expecting a happy ending? No...he just assumed from sites like massagem4m and masseur finder that it was okay to get nude.

 

yeah in a spa like massage envy or any medical setting dr's office they can loose their license if they don't drape.

[bigvalboy]

The masseur has not responded nor acknowledged receiving my notification.

 

Well then you have your answer, sorry...this just was not meant to be....Seriously, good luck in the future!! I think that you are on the right track and really doing fine...

[niceandthick]

Just out of curiosity is there a link to this massage therapist ad? It's not mentioned in any of the responses if it was a personal business website catering to anyone that see's the ad. male, female. str8 or gay. I know on massage m4m masseurfinder we are use to hearing terms like discreet. But in general it's normally a turn off in other area's of advertising. like with spa's dr's or those advertising in a non sensual setting

 

I did not post a link to his website. It is a personal website. He is not listed on massagem4m or masseurfinder. He also has a presence on Facebook (where I just noticed that he had a "humorous" post on my request for an appointment).

 

He is not located in a Drs. office or spa. Looks like he has his own setup where he runs a couple of ventures out of the same space. The other venture looks to be a gay "lifestyle kind of" organization.

[+ azdr0710]

wow, I'm learning a bit here.....

 

gotta say I don't think I've asked a masseur (as opposed to an escort) for an appointment more than once or twice, but I would've offered a short bio like the OP did just to introduce myself and be nice....didn't know that was a big no-no with many here.....

 

and since "discreet" is such an overused word in this context, I usually use the word private: I may say (when writing to an escort) "looking for a fun, private, easy-going time".....but I don't think I'd say that when writing to a masseur, of course....

 

it certainly appears that the masseur in this case is very legit and didn't want to do more than that....and the OP DID want more (correct, n and t?).....nobody did anything wrong.....

[rvwnsd]

... He also has a presence on Facebook (where I just noticed that he had a "humorous" post on my request for an appointment)...

 

If you are not "hung up" on this guy why are you checking his Facebook page?

[Lohengrin1979]

I'm still not sold on the whole bio being a bad thing. Many masseur ads on the various websites talk about how they're into yoga and this or that or there an actor or various other things. If the therapists are putting that kind of info out there, why would it be disturbing for a client to do the same when contacting them?

 

Lohengrin

[RockHard]

Bucket List or Bullet List?

 

If you are not "hung up" on this guy why are you checking his Facebook page?

 

Good grief. What a silly comment. If checking a Facebook page is defined as "hung up," then every corporation in America must be "hung up" on every new job applicant.

 

Whenever I hire someone new, no matter what the job, I check all resources. I call that smart.

 

His website does not say whether he is licensed or not

 

And with recent back surgery, your doctor said it was OK to be worked on by an unlicensed massage therapist? Are you nuts?

 

I know too many men who were in pain after seeing someone who didn't know jack-shit about massage but advertised as an experienced therapist.

 

I have set up numerous sessions before and provided the same information without issue.

 

Life is not black and white, no pun intended. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't.

 

Why state marital status, kids, live in the burbs? These all give an indication of types of stresses I am under on a daily basis.

 

Your stresses are not unique. They are common. Obvious. Sometimes, it's better to not mention the obvious.

 

Why mention race? Well I have had a couple of incidences in the past where I was turned away because I was Black.

 

In NYC, customers come is all shapes, color, and sizes. Plus, discrimination is illegal in the workplace. I guess mentioning your race is harmless info, especially if it protects you against an asshole service provider. But as long as you're not looking for sex, your race should not matter to a true professional.

 

Why mention discreet? Well don't want the wifey to know that I am spending funds on a massage from a man.

 

Would wifey feel better if she knew you received a massage from a woman?

 

I would never provide a phone number until I booked the appointment. Providing a phone number sooner is an absolute no-no. The same is true when I book a massage at my health club. And then, if there was a chance that someone else would pick up my phone, I would offer further explanation but only after the appointment was set and confirmed.

 

As for scented oil, I always ask what kind of lotion is used. Rather than explain my issues, I know where I stand when the therapist answers Baby Oil. Then I don't write back.

 

It sounds to me like you found this guy hot and wanted to experience his touch on your naked body. You were hoping he was a "happy ending" kind of guy. However, any ad that mentions "inappropriate behavior" would suggest to me that the therapist does not engage in sensual touch. And it is inappropriate to assume otherwise. Your language leaned toward hopeful exploration. The therapist got your message and shut you down. End of story.

[josephga]

I looked at the guys website. looking at his website I would believe the person is licensed also listing the draping comments and the no inappropriate behavior I would assume there's nothing sensual about it. also there's no pics of him on the website . there is a facebook link which I didn't go look at. also looking at the website itself you would never know if the masseur is male or female.

[Phil_musc]

Way too much information - you're going for a massage, not a job, not a life partner, etc. I see no reason to volunteer unsolicited information that was irrelevant to the masseur from the get-go and caused him to red-flag you. He didn't ask for this info - why should you volunteer it? And yes, everyone has stresses in their lives - it's how we live. I see nothing in what was written that sounded like your situation was really unique so that it was reasonable to assume the masseur would never have worked on a guy with similar issues and baggage. Move on - find another therapist and keep the details of your life to yourself unless asked.

[jjkrkwood]

Way too much information - you're going for a massage, not a job, not a life partner, etc. I see no reason to volunteer unsolicited information that was irrelevant to the masseur from the get-go and caused him to red-flag you. He didn't ask for this info - why should you volunteer it? And yes, everyone has stresses in their lives - it's how we live. I see nothing in what was written that sounded like your situation was really unique so that it was reasonable to assume the masseur would never have worked on a guy with similar issues and baggage. Move on - find another therapist and keep the details of your life to yourself unless asked.

 

Phil, all the OP's information was provided as little "clues" to what he was really looking for from the session. In this case, he was simply barking up the "wrong" masseur because it was clear, at least to me, that HIS particular masseur "didnt play that way".... In the end, the abundance of information provided TOO MUCH information which worked "against" the OP.

I hope at least he learned from his experience ?

[EZEtoGRU]

I'm surprised the OP has contacted the service-provider again....even after being rejected. It's best to let this whole situation die a death before being accused of cyber-stalking.

[bigvalboy]

I'm surprised the OP has contacted the service-provider again....even after being rejected. It's best to let this whole situation die a death before being accused of cyber-stalking.

 

I agree EZE...many many here including myself have given the advice to move on.....Niceandthick, you seem like an extremely reasonable person. Are you and can you really move on from this?

[Terpmaniac]

To the original poster. There are tons, I mean tons of masseurs who would be more then happy to give you exactly what you wanted(and then some):o I know I have met them! Nobody likes to be rejected, so I understand the surprise. I too was rejected by a masseur for a similar reason. I called late. He was unavailable, so I booked a "different" guy who let's just say leaned way, way, WWWAAAAAYYYYYYY more toward the erotic then therapeutic. When my regular guy found out about it(I told him how much fun I had)he called a few days later to tell me he no longer wanted me as a client because "obviously" since I had so much fun with the new guy, that that is what I now wanted from him and "he don't play that." (He is a board favorite with lots of great reviews). Now get this! He was also an ESCORT! DO YOU BELIEVE IT! I just chalked it up to him being jealous or something or maybe he was a little off. I laugh about it now but at the time I was pretty surprised like you. I have since moved on and his lost was some other masseur's gain(thats for damn sure).

 

 

Terp

[BgMstr4u]

After reading the OP's first and subsequent posts a couple of times, I think a) the OP is a genuinely nice guy who didn't want his "issues" to get in the way of a good sensual massage, so he provided them and they proved more than the masseur needed or wanted, and b) the masseur probably thought that this was getting more complicated than he wanted to deal with. My guess is the masseur is a kind of in-and-out type, friendly, happy and interactive in the moment, but not wanting to provide more than that. Lesson for me: KISS (keep it simple, stupid), which is a life lesson I have had to learn and apply more than once, since I am usually on the OP's channel (thinking I need to justify/explain/overprepare) than I am on the masseur's (let's get together for an uncomplicated hour of shared/paid sensuality, leaving aside what precedes and follows it).

 

Thanks for starting this very interesting thread!

[niceandthick]

If you are not "hung up" on this guy why are you checking his Facebook page?

 

Someone here asked a question about his webpage. When I went there so that I could respond, I saw an advertisement about the Facebook page and clicked on it.

 

Simple

[niceandthick]

....and the OP DID want more (correct, n and t?).....nobody did anything wrong.....

 

I did not ask for more. Yes...I know that asked if I wanted more. Typically i always want more...I want to make more money....I want more apple pie....and yes if he offered more, I probably would have wanted it. However, I did not ask for it...and it was not my intention to come at him that way.

 

This masseur was recommended by another massage enthusiast/friend. In the recommendation he told me that this guy was legit and only provided therapeutic massages. Additionally it states this on his website, so I knew that going in.

[niceandthick]

Thanks for starting this very interesting thread!

 

Yes!!! That's why I started the thread...because I thought it was an interesting topic of discussion.

 

...and to the many folks that have told me to move on. There is nothing to move on from. I am not stalking, courting, or trying to woo the masseur back. I just merely thought that the encounter was interesting...and put it out there for discussion.

[rvwnsd]

Good grief. What a silly comment. If checking a Facebook page is defined as "hung up," then every corporation in America must be "hung up" on every new job applicant.

 

Whenever I hire someone new, no matter what the job, I check all resources. I call that smart.

 

Not a silly comment at all. He is checking the massage therapist's Facebook page after the massage therapist declined him as a client and after he sent a follow-up to the declined hiring offer. That's how he found out the massage therapist posted a humorous anecdote about his reply to the ad. Yes, a corporation who checks the Facebook page of a job applicant after the applicant has declined the offer is hung up on the applicant, not to mention wasting scare corporate resources on an applicant who has decided he or she does not wish to work there.

[RockHard]

I said, "Move on!," 3 times. Why aren't you listening?

 

...and to the many folks that have told me to move on.

 

There are numerous barkers and control freaks in this group. And some of them will post the same barks over and over again, as if repeating their command will get you to do as they say.

 

I, too, saw nothing to "move on" from.

[jjkrkwood]

There are numerous barkers and control freaks in this group. And some of them will post the same barks over and over again, as if repeating their command will get you to do as they say.

 

I, too, saw nothing to "move on" from.

 

And we ALL know by this point, that if RH says it, its Gospel and we MUST listen.

 

As for me, I usually ONLY hear the barking coming from HIS doghouse.....

[Lohengrin1979]

Not a silly comment at all. He is checking the massage therapist's Facebook page after the massage therapist declined him as a client and after he sent a follow-up to the declined hiring offer. That's how he found out the massage therapist posted a humorous anecdote about his reply to the ad. Yes, a corporation who checks the Facebook page of a job applicant after the applicant has declined the offer is hung up on the applicant, not to mention wasting scare corporate resources on an applicant who has decided he or she does not wish to work there.

 

The correlation is hardly apt as it wasn't the masseur checking the OP's home page. I'm with RockHard on this one. It seems a shame to place the most negative intentions on the OP's actions when he has stated that he was not looking for anything but a massage. If you choose to place your own connotations, that's your choice, but not necessarily the truth of the matter.

[zeyfur]

Talk about Rockhard and Control Freaks.

 

He wrote about me "Everyone should Ignore Zeyfur "

 

Is that control or what ?