Would An Escort Say, "Whoa, That's Too Much Work For Me"? LOL!

[GuntherCory]

About seven years ago, I had a serious accident which resulted in my being disabled for an extended period of time. After years of surgeries, physiotherapy and rehabilitation, I am finally back on my feet and able to walk and function normally once more. Great! I'll never take good health for granted again.

 

While I realize how lucky I am to have recovered completely, there's a residual problem: I've been celibate for all these years, and SERIOUSLY...out of practice.

 

I want to get back into the game, and start exploring my sexuality again, but am understandably nervous about it.

 

Would an escort be leery about helping a born-again virgin re-learn all the basics? I'd love to find someone who'd be patient enough to initiate me back into the world of kissing, who would help me practice and fine-tune the art of 69, and who would encourage me to explore all sorts of practices and kinks that I have fantasized about doing for YEARS, but which I was physically unable to even try, much less actually do.

 

I'm wondering if a rentboy would find the time and patience required to help me "thaw" and re-learn the ropes more trouble than it's worth. I've been hesitating calling an escort out of concern that he'd think the whole situation is just...weird. I don't think I could "fake" being confident, secure and sexually experienced during our date, however, LOL, so I figured it would be best to explain my situation to the escort upfront.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Is this situation a turn off?

 

I suppose I could always become a monk.

[maxwellissmart]

About seven years ago, I had a serious accident which resulted in my being disabled for an extended period of time. After years of surgeries, physiotherapy and rehabilitation, I am finally back on my feet and able to walk and function normally once more. Great! I'll never take good health for granted again.

 

While I realize how lucky I am to have recovered completely, there's a residual problem: I've been celibate for all these years, and SERIOUSLY...out of practice.

 

I want to get back into the game, and start exploring my sexuality again, but am understandably nervous about it.

 

Would an escort be leery about helping a born-again virgin re-learn all the basics? I'd love to find someone who'd be patient enough to initiate me back into the world of kissing, who would help me practice and fine-tune the art of 69, and who would encourage me to explore all sorts of practices and kinks that I have fantasized about doing for YEARS, but which I was physically unable to even try, much less actually do.

 

I'm wondering if a rentboy would find the time and patience required to help me "thaw" and re-learn the ropes more trouble than it's worth. I've been hesitating calling an escort out of concern that he'd think the whole situation is just...weird. I don't think I could "fake" being confident, secure and sexually experienced during our date, however, LOL, so I figured it would be best to explain my situation to the escort upfront.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Is this situation a turn off?

 

I suppose I could always become a monk.

 

I don't know if you've done—or are doing—this already, but I would spend some quality time with myself and relearn the fine art of masturbation before I do anything with anyone else. Your body may react in unpredictable ways, and you may have to relearn and refine your reactions to particular stimuli and actions. The body repairs itself (particularly nerve endings) in odd ways. And tastes change. Just because you liked something before doesn't mean you will now, and the opposite is true as well. I've had a number of clients who were sooo eager to try something (like getting fucked for the first time), and of course it hurt and they were put off and disappointed by it. And when I ask "did you practice this at home first with a dildo or fingers?" "Well, no."

 

Start there.

[jjkrkwood]

About seven years ago, I had a serious accident which resulted in my being disabled for an extended period of time. After years of surgeries, physiotherapy and rehabilitation, I am finally back on my feet and able to walk and function normally once more. Great! I'll never take good health for granted again.

 

While I realize how lucky I am to have recovered completely, there's a residual problem: I've been celibate for all these years, and SERIOUSLY...out of practice.

 

I want to get back into the game, and start exploring my sexuality again, but am understandably nervous about it.

 

Would an escort be leery about helping a born-again virgin re-learn all the basics? I'd love to find someone who'd be patient enough to initiate me back into the world of kissing, who would help me practice and fine-tune the art of 69, and who would encourage me to explore all sorts of practices and kinks that I have fantasized about doing for YEARS, but which I was physically unable to even try, much less actually do.

 

I'm wondering if a rentboy would find the time and patience required to help me "thaw" and re-learn the ropes more trouble than it's worth. I've been hesitating calling an escort out of concern that he'd think the whole situation is just...weird. I don't think I could "fake" being confident, secure and sexually experienced during our date, however, LOL, so I figured it would be best to explain my situation to the escort upfront.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Is this situation a turn off?

 

I suppose I could always become a monk.

 

Firstly Alex, congrats on your recovery, and God bless.....

Secondly - first and foremost, escorting is a job, and excorts are businessmen. Some are also quite caring, patient and compassionate. Its all about finding the right fit, and to do so, good communication is necessary, mostly on your part, to explain your situation and needs. A little time and homework should yield good results.

Thirdly - you know the old saying, "Sex is like riding a bike". You fall off and get right back on. You never forget HOW..... Your first few encounters will probably be nerve wracking and intimidating, but once thru them your confidence should grow and each subsequent session will be easier and more pleasurable. Just remember, there will Always be an unsuccessful session thrown into the mix. that doesnt mean YOU did anything wrong, simply the fit wasnt right. Dont be discouraged.... there are many well-seasoned members here who can atest to the fact that Hiring can be a GREAT time.....

[GuntherCory]

Thanks for the suggestion, Maxwellissmart, and yes, I've been...experimenting alone, as it were. I'd want to start slowly, and explore various activities which I KNOW I'm ready for, gradually adding more, if they feel right. That's why I think the poor escort would have to be sooo patient!

[jjkrkwood]

Thanks for the suggestion, Maxwellissmart, and yes, I've been...experimenting alone, as it were. I'd want to start slowly, and explore various activities which I KNOW I'm ready for, gradually adding more, if they feel right. That's why I think the poor escort would have to be sooo patient!

 

Escorts are paid for their TIME, and if they know upfront you are a novice again basically, they should have no problem accomodating the time you need.

[GuntherCory]

Jjkrkwood, thank you. "Nerve wracking" and "intimidating" are right! That's why I wanted to have some idea about how escorts might feel. In this, an anonymous forum, I figured I could get some frank, honest answers. I imagine some guys would say, "This is too much trouble for me; I just want to...come and go!" But if I get the sense that some other rentboys might be comfortable with such a situation, or better yet, even find it a challenge to RISE TO, great! That might give me the incentive to take the plunge and give someone a shot.

 

(Why does everything I write sound like a bad sexual pun or double entendre?!?)

[maxwellissmart]

Escorts are paid for their TIME, and if they know upfront you are a novice again basically, they should have no problem accomodating the time you need.

 

This is one of the reasons I offer erotic massage—which I basically refer to as Escort Lite.

[+ Travis69]

If you feel comfortable, let us know what city/area you are in or would travel to and people here can recommend someone. Having the right escort for this, as JJ mentioned, is crucial.

[GuntherCory]

Maxwellissmart, actually, an erotic massage would probably be a great idea for an initial encounter. It would allow me to get comfortable being touched by a (hopefully hunky!) guy again, but in a non-threatening way. Great suggestion; way to go!

[GuntherCory]

Travis69, I'm on the east coast, but seriously, after all this time, I could TRAVEL to meet the right guy, LOL. Or, more practically, I'd probably fly him in to see me. Finding someone I'd be comfortable with is more of a hurdle than the locale.

[maxwellissmart]

Maxwellissmart, actually, an erotic massage would probably be a great idea for an initial encounter. It would allow me to get comfortable being touched by a (hopefully hunky!) guy again, but in a non-threatening way. Great suggestion; way to go!

 

if this is the route you go—be upfront with your contact and tell them that you're doing some new activities as a final part of your rehab, and you'd like to go exploring. That way, there will be a little more hand-holding and a little less assumption that you can "handle it" from the get-go. I'd rather err on the side of caution and then ramp things up if you're still feeling fine—and there's no reason to put yourself in a position of remaining silent during an experience that ranges from uncomfortable to painful, simply because you don't want to speak up and ruin it or not give it enough of a chance, thinking it will get better.

[jjkrkwood]

Maxwellissmart, actually, an erotic massage would probably be a great idea for an initial encounter. It would allow me to get comfortable being touched by a (hopefully hunky!) guy again, but in a non-threatening way. Great suggestion; way to go!

 

Max is an escort "that really gets it".. his massage option is a Great "ice-breaker".. Most clients NEED to be made to Relax....

[GuntherCory]

Maxwellissmart, yes, I'd be upfront from the get-go, to avoid any uncomfortableness. I'm afraid that the very first second the guy put his hands on me--anywhere--I'd blast off like an astronaut! I'd want everybody to be prepared!

 

BTW, how does one find a members' escort or masseur profile? I've looked for your name in the Reviews section, but come up empty handed.

[maxwellissmart]

Maxwellissmart, yes, I'd be upfront from the get-go, to avoid any uncomfortableness. I'm afraid that the very first second the guy put his hands on me--anywhere--I'd blast off like an astronaut! I'd want everybody to be prepared!

 

BTW, how does one find a members' escort or masseur profile? I've looked for your name in the Reviews section, but come up empty handed.

 

This isn't my escort handle.

[GuntherCory]

Jjkrkwood, ALL of you men sound so cute! Your review of Max intrigues me. I'm sure he warrants your positive review.

[GuntherCory]

Maxwellissmart, okay, that makes sense. If the name you use in these forums is not the same one you use in your profile, that's why I can't find it.

 

I imagine that's done for security reasons. Don't worry, I won't bug you for it. I still really do appreciate all the friendly advice!

[jjkrkwood]

Jjkrkwood, all of you men sound so cute! Your review of Max intrigues me. Where can I can his escort profile? (Sorry, I'm a newbie to forum life, too!)

 

I only know Max from the forums. One of the great guys here, but kinda secretive. I am sure if you pvt message him, he can provide you more info about himself.

[Guest countryboywny]

Alex,

 

First, welcome to the forum! Second, I'm so glad that you have been blessed with a full recovery. I think you're going about this "initial" visit in all the right ways. I'm sure that there are several escorts that would work just fine for what you want/need. They differ in their approach's just as much as clients differ in their wants. Some clients and escorts are just about the one hour wham-bam, then, there are other clients and escorts who are interested in getting/giving a more compassionate, boy-friend, or "friendly" experience. I recommend that you search out the later type. Read reviews on this site of the guys who interest you. Ask questions here on the forum, or better yet, contact the escort and talk to him about your needs. Good communication is key to a successful session. I wish you the best of luck in the "completion" of your rehab!

[GuntherCory]

Thanks for the info, Jjkrkwood. I had a sense he wanted to be discreet, which is why I don't want to pressure him or anything. If folks are nice enough to chat with me and give me advice, the least I can do is respect their privacy.

[GuntherCory]

Hi, Countryboywny. Thanks for the kind words. I really would want and need more of a friendly, boyfriend-ish type of experience, and I have indeed been pouring over the reviews. The only "problem" with that is...there are just way too many appealing men on this site, and narrowing down the list is hard work! I feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a candy store, and want to sample all the goodies. (I know, I know, there are worse problems in life than having a cornucopia of beautiful men to think about!)

 

I just don't want to waste a bazillion years dithering over the selection!

[tom1980]

Alex -- It looks like I got to this thread after a lot of good advice has already been provided. Like Maxwell, I was going to suggest you try erotic massage to ease into things. Another thing to consider is hiring an escort for a multi-hour session. Escorts tend to be more willing to discuss your wants and needs up front if you are hiring them for more than a one hour session. Since you are considering flying a guy in to see you, you were probably already thinking along these lines. At any rate, good luck to you. You are lucky to have discovered the forums before you start hiring. Hopefully the advice you receive will help you avoid some or the pitfalls those of us who started hiring without any guidance fell into!

[gallahadesquire]

Alex -

 

Please allow me to welcome you to the Forum! Great fun is to be had here.

 

I had a similar event a couple of years ago. I haven't recovered so well as you. A few experiences:

(1) Inability to get an erection. That might be a medication reaction. I stopped my antidepressant and feel tons better!

(2) Being touched - I'm a big fan of cuddling, and it was almost a year and a half before I got cuddled.

(3) Crying - let the emotions come out.

 

I'm also on the East Coast, and I've been very fortunate to have met some dy-no-mite escorts. Almost all of them

have subsequently retired. [is there cause and effect here?] And almost all of them were of the cuddle, take-care

type rather than the bam-slam-g'bye type.

 

Just my thoughts, outside the box, as usual.

 

Sir Gallahad

[tom1980]

Hi, Countryboywny. Thanks for the kind words. I really would want and need more of a friendly, boyfriend-ish type of experience, and I have indeed been pouring over the reviews. The only "problem" with that is...there are just way too many appealing men on this site, and narrowing down the list is hard work! I feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a candy store, and want to sample all the goodies. (I know, I know, there are worse problems in life than having a cornucopia of beautiful men to think about!)

 

I just don't want to waste a bazillion years dithering over the selection!

 

If you want help making a decision, you could make a list of the guys you are most interested in seeing and ask forum members for input. Sometimes forum members have seen a guy but didn't publish a review or they can expand upon information in a review they did publish.

[jjkrkwood]

Hi, Countryboywny. Thanks for the kind words. I really would want and need more of a friendly, boyfriend-ish type of experience, and I have indeed been pouring over the reviews. The only "problem" with that is...there are just way too many appealing men on this site, and narrowing down the list is hard work! I feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a candy store, and want to sample all the goodies. (I know, I know, there are worse problems in life than having a cornucopia of beautiful men to think about!)

 

I just don't want to waste a bazillion years dithering over the selection!

 

Sometimes, OVERthinking can be your biggest enemy. Look thru the guys, consider the one that gives you the Fastest boner, then read the profile to see if he is a potential fit and in your price range. If so, contact him. Jumping into the water is often easier than inching in....

[GuntherCory]

Tom1980, yes, I've been fortunate enough to have many kind members like you offering me some good advice.

 

I would absolutely consider doing a multi-hour session. Probably dinner and drinks first, to ease the initial tension and allow us to talk easily and get to know each other, followed by a more intimate situation.

 

I agree that I am VERY lucky to have stumbled across this site, these forums, and members like you, before I actually took the plunge and hired anyone. I feel better about the whole situation already.

 

I'm ready for...David of SF or AJ Irons, woohoo!