The porn industry and bareback sex

[nycguy]

Every so often, the porn industry is taken to task for promoting bareback sex. The pron industry is not in any significant way contributing to the increase in bareback sex. The major factor is meds that control the disease for most people. My very unscientific guess is that the bareback/safe sex ratio on hookups is somewhere between 60/40% to 70/30%. The porn industry is giving the people what they want and are already doing. Whenever this subject comes up, it is always put in terms of "How sad" and "How irresponsible." My other guess is that this overwhelming "sadness" often flows from guys who chase and swallow as much cum as they can while while congratulating themselves for how responsible they are because they are not taking the loads they crave up the ass. If they were more anally inclined, it would be a different story. For the record, I practice safe sex.

[jimboivyo]

and that's your opinion. 'your guess' regarding many is completely wrong. What is irresponsible to me is making 'unscientific' proclamations about a very big problem in the gay community

[nycguy]

and that's your opinion. 'your guess' regarding many is completely wrong. What is irresponsible to me is making 'unscientific' proclamations about a very big problem in the gay community

 

But your "proclamation" of my being completly wrong is based on scientifc facts?

[leigh.bess.toad]

Whenever this subject comes up, it is always put in terms of "How sad" and "How irresponsible." My other guess is that this overwhelming "sadness" often flows from guys who chase and swallow as much cum as they can while while congratulating themselves for how responsible they are because they are not taking the loads they crave up the ass.

 

NYCman - I think you have to remember that here there are men of an age who lived through the first onslaught of AIDS and have lost a lot of friends to the scourge of AIDS. To me, that is where I think a lot of the sadness occurs. Thinking of the friends lost leads to sadness. Yes, HIV is "controllable" with medications. I've heard people make the comparison to a chronic disease such as diabetes. Well, I would do anything I could to avoid having diabetes. Both will still shorten your life if you contract the disease. It is not simply a matter of taking a pill every once in a while and there will be no change to your lifestyle and life expectancy. Also, many of us are very fearful of a possible mutation of the virus such that the current medication regimen will no longer be effective.

[Guest countryboywny]

To bareback or not to bareback is each person's private decision to make within the parameters of the relationship that he is in with his partner. Operative word here, PRIVATE.. The problem I have with BB porn is that it is not private and the message it sends is that unsafe sex practices are more the norm nowadays. Someone who is very impressionable could adopt the attitude "hey, if they do it on film, it must be OK now.. aids is behind us!" ..and that's my problem with it.

[nycguy]

Leigh, I too, have lived through the enitre epidemic and know what you are saying. I am not promoting bareback sex, but I will I not join the bareback police. What I am trying to say is that unprotected sex has become more the norm than protected sex. Aren't we better off having an honest discussion about it? Nothing is accomplished by blaming the producers of porn. Nothing is accomplished by the occasional thread berating an escort who barebacks - especially one who is honest enough to advertise as such. Is barebacking the new norm simply because so many have become irresponsible? No. It is because sex is an overwhelmingly powerful force. As powerful as hunger. As powerful as the will to live. And the meds have tipped the scales in the other direction. What I abhor, is hypocrisy. There are some (and I am not saying you are one) who have sex exactly as they crave. They are "safe" and "responsible" because they "only" swallow loads and all others are irresponsible death mongers. They chase and satisfy their innate needs and will deny the same to others with different innate needs. Let them preach only when they deny themselves kissing, when they only suck a cock that has a condom on it and when they never put their tongue deep up an ass and slurp away. But, hey, they are the true pillars of the community because the way they crave fluids are so much "safer" than the way others crave them.

[+ Gar1eth]

This is totally non- scientific-- but mainstream movies- sometimes there are tearjerkers like the Champ that make manly men cry. I remember a Movie of the Week called Letters to My Daughter about a mother who knew she was going to die and made tape recordings for her daughter. My mother became all misty- eyed at that one. Or we have feel good movies like The Blindside where everyone comes out feeling good. But then there are movies that show unrestrained violence being perpetrated in either a true to life or a cartoon fashion. Soon after we have Columbine- and Hollywood says- oh no the movies couldn't have caused something like this. So why is Hollywood - and other art forms- allowed to get away with saying that they have touched us emotionally for positive emotions- but can then claim that nothing they do can influence us on the negative side.

 

I am not saying that movie, TV, or XBOX violence made Columbine happen- but isn't it possible they had some contribution. And so likewise isn't it possible that bareback films can contribute to an atmosphere of feeling that Barebacking is ok? I mean we are creatures of our senses. If I can become teary eyed because of a well done movie-who is to say I wouldn't be susceptible on some level to watching increasing amounts of bareback porn.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Leigh, I too, have lived through the enitre epidemic and know what you are saying. I am not promoting bareback sex, but I will I not join the bareback police. What I am trying to say is that unprotected sex has become more the norm than protected sex. Aren't we better off having an honest discussion about it? Nothing is accomplished by blaming the producers of porn. Nothing is accomplished by the occasional thread berating an escort who barebacks - especially one who is honest enough to advertise as such. Is barebacking the new norm simply because so many have become irresponsible? No. It is because sex is an overwhelmingly powerful force. As powerful as hunger. As powerful as the will to live. And the meds have tipped the scales in the other direction. What I abhor, is hypocrisy. There are some (and I am not saying you are one) who have sex exactly as they crave. They are "safe" and "responsible" because they "only" swallow loads and all others are irresponsible death mongers. They chase and satisfy their innate needs and will deny the same to others with different innate needs. Let them preach only when they deny themselves kissing, when they only suck a cock that has a condom on it and when they never put their tongue deep up an ass and slurp away. But, hey, they are the true pillars of the community because the way they crave fluids are so much "safer" than the way others crave them.

 

You may be right- but you are ignoring magnitudes of levels of risk. Kissing is almost risk free even if you have inflammed gums from my readings. I also understand that oral even with swallowing cum is low risk- and in any case in comparison much lower risk than barebacking. If someone is on medications with a detectable viral load of 0, then obviously the risk of oral will be even lower.

 

Gman

[Guest Merlin]

You may be right- but you are ignoring magnitudes of levels of risk. Kissing is almost risk free even if you have inflammed gums from my readings. I also understand that oral even with swallowing cum is low risk- and in any case in comparison much lower risk than barebacking. If someone is on medications with a detectable viral load of 0, then obviously the risk of oral will be even lower.

 

Gman

 

Let's remember that making BB porn involves risk to the players, often at a very young age, as in Bel Ami, and we recall how many beautiful actors have died of it. The producers apparently believe consumers want it that way. I have little doubt that some people watch the porn and think :if I am careful who I have sex with I will be Ok. Advertising BB porn gives the message that it is better and special. No, the porn industry is not the primary cause, but I believe it is one of the.

[shadowcatzxxx]

Let's remember that making BB porn involves risk to the players, often at a very young age, as in Bel Ami, and we recall how many beautiful actors have died of it. The producers apparently believe consumers want it that way. I have little doubt that some people watch the porn and think :if I am careful who I have sex with I will be Ok. Advertising BB porn gives the message that it is better and special. No, the porn industry is not the primary cause, but I believe it is one of the.

 

Wow. I never thought I would EVER see the day when I agreed with Merlin about anything! But we are in precisely the same place on this issue. Impressions are everything. Modelling behavior is very important. And the most vulnerable people (actors and viewers) are young and impulsive, and almost always think with their small head (or their wallets, in the case of actors) before they engage the large head. I have such visceral negative reactions to BB in this day and age that it actually ruins the fun of watching for me. The thought that even one of these extraordinarily beautiful young adonises (kids, actually, some of them, at least in the eyes of this codger), with their entire lives ahead of them, could potentially fall ill because they agree to do something risky to make a few extra bucks actually makes me sick to my stomach. (I feel the same way about guys who are not so beautiful ... I just don't get off on watching them - on screen or in person.) Yes there are meds, and I have some friends that have lived for nearly three decades while taking them. But there are always side-effects, and the almost inevitable struggles with encephalitis ... and I could go on and on. HIV may no longer be inevitably fatal in the short term, but it is certainly no picnic! I wish more people felt that way but ...

[josephga]

imo in a large number the performers already have it. just look at those that's filmed for treasure island

[Luv2play]

As usual people here are saying things they know nothing about. Comparing HIV with diabetes. Saying HIV will shorten your life. That the medications have terrible side effects. You people are living in the past. You really should talk to a doctor who is in the practice today with HIV patients. It will open your eyes, and maybe your minds.

[shadowcatzxxx]

As usual people here are saying things they know nothing about. Comparing HIV with diabetes. Saying HIV will shorten your life. That the medications have terrible side effects. You people are living in the past. You really should talk to a doctor who is in the practice today with HIV patients. It will open your eyes, and maybe your minds.

 

I might be partially living in the past, but I have a number of friends who are living in the present ... with HIV. And I have been living through it with them for (depending on the individual) between 20 and 30 years. AND, BTW, I AM in the medical profession.

 

It is true that today's medications are WAY better than the first ones -- they hassle the virus enough to USUALLY keep opportunistic infections at bay, and their side-effects are far milder than those of the "old" meds -- but even today's meds have very unpleasant side-effects, and the friggin' virus still manages to cause trouble in odd places around the body. Kaposi's and pneumocystis (which killed many of the folks who died early on) are relatively rare now, but the combination of HIV and side-effects lead to lots of problems, large and small, including high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems, strokes, several different kinds of debilitating encephalitis, deafness, excema-like skin problems ... do I really need to press this issue???? You do NOT want to get infected. Period.

[josephga]

I dated someone for 2 months recently that was hiv positive He was diagnosed 14 years ago now at 42 He takes 3 pills a day says he is zero detectable. He does have excema-like skin problems sometimes and some allergies. He decided to stop seeing me because of me having MS and he not wanting to risk a accident happening. Even though he is fine most of the time he knows that could change anytime. I agree with shadowcatzxxx

[gallahadesquire]

I dated someone for 2 months recently that was hiv positive He was diagnosed 14 years ago now at 42 He takes 3 pills a day says he is zero detectable. He does have excema-like skin problems sometimes and some allergies. He decided to stop seeing me because of me having MS and he not wanting to risk a accident happening. Even though he is fine most of the time he knows that could change anytime. I agree with shadowcatzxxx

 

Was he worried about contracting MS from you, or you having HIV on top of MS? I lost count, here.

[josephga]

Was he worried about contracting MS from you, or you having HIV on top of MS? I lost count, here.

 

You can't contract MS. He dated one guy for 9 years and that guy never caught HIV. But with me having MS He feared me contracting it and then having to deal with 2 serious illnesses.

regardless of how safe he didn't want to risk that possibility

[rocky]

I'm sorry but at what point do we say the risk that one takes is his/or her's responsibility. Now, anyone these days that are not aware of the risk of unprotected sex are not stupid, but have made a decision. Now to blame the gay movie industry for promoting unprotected and risky sex is just stupid. For heaven's sake come one. We are on a gay sex site, we exchange issues and things with escorts who want our money for having sex, some for unprotected sex and other adventures. So please, please, please don't preach to me on this site about holier than though about issues such as these. Let's all be responsible for our own decisions.

[rickp]

My main problem with bareback sex is that is can easily turn into one person trying to convince or coerce another person into doing it. On several occasions I've had guys who I'd met several times before, ask me to bareback. Then it turns into, "you're ok with me; I'm totally negative, why don't you trust me?"

 

I feel like whether it's their intention or not, the porn industry does sort of make this more of a norm. I don't want to have unprotected anal sex, ever, whether I know the person or not.

[Lohengrin1979]

My main problem with bareback sex is that is can easily turn into one person trying to convince or coerce another person into doing it. On several occasions I've had guys who I'd met several times before, ask me to bareback. Then it turns into, "you're ok with me; I'm totally negative, why don't you trust me?"

 

I feel like whether it's their intention or not, the porn industry does sort of make this more of a norm. I don't want to have unprotected anal sex, ever, whether I know the person or not.

 

I had a relationship end because of this very issue. My boyfriend viewed it as a trust issue and couldn't understand why I said I would never have unprotected sex even though both of us were negative. Accidents happen, mistakes happend and it's my life. He didn't see it that way and thus no more relationship. Perhaps I'm wrong about it, but I feel that I'll find someone who understands and wants to play safe all the time, even in a monogamous relationship.

 

Lohengrin

[Toulouse]

My main problem with bareback sex is that is can easily turn into one person trying to convince or coerce another person into doing it. On several occasions I've had guys who I'd met several times before, ask me tounprovable.

 

Rick, Just want to say I appreciate your willingness to post honestly and candidly in this controversial thread and hope other escorts will share their thoughts/views on this important subject. It would be interesting to learn how escorts who have worked in the adult film industry feel about the trend toward barebacking in porn.

[justaguy]

I have to admit that I see both sides of this argument. Studios wouldn't be making more and more BB vids if we weren't watching it. The demand is great enough that all stuidos feel some pressure to make them. It isn't there role, but how many of us got an idea of what man2man sex was like from watching porn? Probably all of us at some point. However, I think I agree most with rocky. IMO, it has to be a matter of personal responsibility. If we banned BB vids because viewers might see them as a license to have BB sex, then we'd have to ban a whole host of other films as well, just about any film that extolled violence for example. I would be in favor of such films having a disclaimer at the beginning, even though it will be promptly ignored, but don't think a ban is the way to go.

[jgoo]

Taking personal responsibility for actions is certainly important. However, there is also social responsibility that needs to be considered and that is where the porn industry needs to focus on for this issue.

[seaguypnp]

When did porn becomes sex education 101?? Anyone who barebacks just because they saw it in porn is an idiot who would have barebacked anyway. So all this blame on the industry is just stupid and to me unamerican, since we are a free country. Just like the GOP trying to take away women's rights we have those within the gay community seeking to limit the types of porn we can view! Pathetic is you ask me.