Goofus and Gallant

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: "Get your money and go!"

Gallant: "I had a wonderful time. And this is for you, of course."

 

Goofus: "You keep eating my ass, you filthy sex pig!"

Gallant: "You're sooooo good at rimming! I love it."

 

Goofus: "Be my prison bitch and suck me 'til you gag. NOW!"

Gallant: "I love getting fellated. Are you okay with doing this?"

 

(Can you think of any more?)

[+ purplekow]

Goofus: My god what a huge fucking dick

Gallant: I see you brought my favorite dessert

 

Goofus: Bend me over and fuck me hard

Gallant: Bend me over and fuck me hard, please

[gcursor]

Very nice topic friendofsheila....here's mine

 

GOOFUS: Wow, that face you're making is SO HOT

GALLANT: I'm having an allergic reaction!!

 

GOOFUS: Please MASTER! I want it SO bad!!!!

GALLANT: You forgot SIMON SAYS

 

GOOFUS: You had sex WITH WHO?!

GALLANT: You mean WITH WHAT?!

 

GOOFUS: *moaning* Oh yea..I love you fucking me in the bath house

GALLANT: Hey...I'm over here!

 

GOOFUS: You're a dirty fucking filthy pig!

GALLANT: It's a zoo? It's supposed to look that way!

[Dave]

Goofus and Gallant are both on the phone, shopping for escorts they find on Rentboy (by the way, they’re both in their boxers, although Goofus’ pair hasn't been changed in a week and has a brown streak in one section. and it smells.)

Goofus: "Hey, man, I saw your ad on rentboy. How much you charge?"

Gallant: "Hi, how’s it going? We don’t know each other, but I wanted to ask you a few questions about your services. Is this a good time to talk?"

 

Goofus: “If I hire you, will you eat my ass?”

Gallant: “Do you ever enjoy rimming?”

 

Goofus: “How big’s your fuckin’ cock, man?”

Gallant: “Can you describe yourself please?”

 

Goofus: “No, I can’t give out my number... I’m calling you from a hotel phone 'cause I’m married; I gotta have discretion.” CLICK.

Gallant: “Yes, I know I’m calling you from a restricted number, sorry. However, you sound great. Let me give you my cell number. If you'd like, you can call me back now. I’d love to set up an appointment, stud!”

 

Goofus calls HotCollegeJockNYC from his home in Indianapolis, and books a session an hour from now in the Plaza.

Gallant doesn't set up bogus appointments. And although not an escort, he’s an active supporter of his local SWOP chapter.

 

Goofus pulls his boxers off, and has one hand lubed up with his penis in it. His other hand holds the phone, as he calls a rentboy to ask for a detailed description as to how the rentboy would trample on Goofus’ dick.

Gallant wants to ejaculate like any healthy red-blooded American boy, but knows better than to bother hookers for this. Gallant respects escorts’ time. He phones a sex chat line, pays his $4.99 per minute, and 15 minutes later Gallant's in the shower washing up.

[orbital sander]

Goofus and Gallant...wow I have not thought about those two for years. Brings back memories of Dr. Office's waiting rooms...

[+ friendofsheila]

Excellent entry Dave in DC.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Aren't you done yet???

Gallant: What can I do to help you come?

[Dave]

Goofus: Aren't you done yet???

Gallant: What can I do to help you come?

 

LOL - this is the best one yet! And, by the way, both are extremely common for escorts to hear.

[Bosguy]

LOL - this is the best one yet! And, by the way, both are extremely common for escorts to hear.

 

Improved sayings from FOS last post:

 

Goofus: You aren't done yet, are you???

Gallant: What can I do to help you come AGAIN?

 

Bill .

[+ Tygerscent]

On yer knees dirty fucking boy and suck my cock fat dick and lick my balls too~ open yer mouth wide and take it till you puke~ Fuck yer mouth with my dick bitch~ Lick my ass to bitch~

Gallent: it makes my mouth water so Sir~ Feed me Feed me Feed me~

Goofus~: git yer ass up in the air and present yer hot hungry hole to me for inspection and breeding you sultry *****~. I need a fuck hole for my fat swollen dick and churning balls~

Gallent: once yer dick is satiated, I will gladly take yer fist Sir~

Goofus: Bravo boy! take it all you dirty fucker! spank spank spank~

Tyger!

tygerkink@yahoo.com

971.400.2633

http://www.tygerscent.biz

http://www.daddyreviews.com/review/tyger_portland

http://www.maleescortreview.com (Tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

http://www.rentmen.com (AAAtygerscentXXX in Portland Oregon)

http://www.men4rentnow.com (tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

 

Escorting/Companion/Courtesanship/ Geisha is not about the Escort. It's about the person you are Escorting/Companion to/Courtesan with/Geisha for~

 

It's important to find the quiet place within yourself, where you remove your own noise and are not heard, where you put your "self" aside in order to leave and make all provisional room for others to be, through Love, for them to speak, be heard, be the louder noise to be completed and understood above all… where you as Escort/Geisha are not the point and the other person is completely the point and goal and expression~~~ and heard, felt, loved and becoming~

 

To love without personal gain can be the most significant expression of self acceptance and giving human gift possible given our human nature. Strive for the Will to Love~

 

Love is not some place you come from. It's something you are through the acceptance of Life and living it and giving back to those learning how.

 

Desire is easy to suffice and satiate~ Need is the more important then satisfaction. Strive to understand how desires can suffice need and strive for that~ What you need will bring you more then what you desire unless your desires suffice your needs~

 

If humankind can not understand and utilize technology to necessary needs provision, what is the point of technology?

 

A flower is just a flower until it comes into the reality of another thing where it is then consumed, cherished or simply ignored to be what it is~

All things are like this~ and in all forms accepted as one purpose or another according to the understanding of the two.

 

You can't retire from who you truly are~ Find awareness of who and what you are to become that and either change it or be it or become more~ Each person is their own legacy of history provided~

 

Life is the profound influence not any particular person or words~. .. but becoming aware of the profound nature of life is the blessing that we can acquire and pass along. Human authors are unimportant~ Wisdom is what matters... not who happened to say or write it~

 

We are plagued by the distraction of intellect and the arrogant thinking that we are above Life beyond the Human experience.

Human truth is situational and in the scopes of human perception, we are limited and evolving.

Truth in itself is complete and always the real situation, in spite of how we, as humans, might like to perceive it or contrive it.

Life and Love are not about us but, rather, perhaps, accepting it and living it and sharing it back~

Love for your own sake and/or enterprise is not greater or replacement for the value of Beauty felt and given back~

Human beings make the mistake of placing judgements of what is right or wrong, good or evil. In the end there is only consequence~

Life exists beyond the human experience~

Goofus: "Get your money and go!"

Gallant: "I had a wonderful time. And this is for you, of course."

 

Goofus: "You keep eating my ass, you filthy sex pig!"

Gallant: "You're sooooo good at rimming! I love it."

 

Goofus: "Be my prison bitch and suck me 'til you gag. NOW!"

Gallant: "I love getting fellated. Are you okay with doing this?"

 

(Can you think of any more?)

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: No, I don't do that.... Or that.... Nope..... None of those..... Or that either..... Nope.... No, you don't want an escort who'd do that.... That? No, I won't.... Not at all..... Or any of that..... Nope.

 

Gallant: There's just a few things I'm okay doing with clients. Let me tell you what they are so you can decide.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: You're doing it WRONG, you stupid piece of MEAT!

Gallant: Could you do that a little differently? It would really turn me on.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Stop complaining and TAKE it!

Gallant: You okay?

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Just keep doing that until I TELL you to stop, bitch!

Gallant: That was great. You're really good at it! Could you do it some more? I'd love it.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: You mean these? Right here? Oh, that's a skin infection. It comes back every so often. You probably don't need to worry.

 

Gallant: I'll schedule the appointment you want after I get better.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME??? I SAID "Get on your knees!...." NOW!

 

Gallant: I've always fantasized about getting a blow job from a hot guy while I'm standing in front of him. Could we do that now?

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: [When payment is being made] By the way, my price has gone up.

 

Gallant: My web page hasn't been updated yet, so I'll tell you before we make an appointment that my rate is different now.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Don't touch my hair. I just had it done.

 

Gallant: Sure, go for it! I can fix it later.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: (Interrupting client on the phone) Just call me when you're ready!! (click)

 

Gallant: Sure, I can take a few minutes to answer any questions.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: What do you look like?

 

Gallant: I'm pretty much open to any client who is showered, with their teeth brushed.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: What about discounts? Do you have any?

 

Gallant: I'm glad I got to talk to you about your services. I'll save up and call you when I'm able to pay for your time.

[gallahadesquire]

I hate to ruin this frivolity

 

Long ago, I was introduced to a book of manners:

 

The Unexpurgated Code: A Complete Manual of Survival & Manners by J.P. Donleavy

 

He used a term "Pukka"

 

puk·ka also puck·a (pk)

adj.

1. Genuine; authentic.

2. Superior; first-class.

[Hindi pakk, cooked, ripe, from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, he cooks; see pekw- in Indo-European roots.]

 

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

 

pukka, pucka [ˈpʌkə]

adj (esp in India)

1. properly or perfectly done, constructed, etc. a pukka road

2. genuine pukka sahib

[from Hindi pakkā firm, from Sanskrit pakva]

 

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

 

One of his examples:

 

On the occurance of smelling a Fart in a close elevator:

[Goofus]: I want outta here, Pronto!; or, in Pukka,

[Gallant]: I say, that is uncommonly foul.

Edited December 15, 2017 by gallahadesquire

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: What's your real name?

 

Gallant: I like the name you've chosen. It makes you sound sexy!

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: You're not as tall as I thought you'd be.

 

Gallant: Hey! You're just the right height for some of the stuff I like to do!

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Look, I'm paying for your body, not to talk to you.

 

Gallant: Sure, we can take a minute to relax. But you're so sexy, I'm going to have a hard time keeping my hands to myself!