Goofus and Gallant

[+ purplekow]

Goofus: Drop those pants and let me lick that ass.

 

Gallant: <slurp>

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Look, don't waste my time. Just make this fast and get naked, RIGHT NOW, okay?

 

Gallant: Wow, your body looks great. Can I talk you out of that shirt?

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: [When the other person is anxious or worried about something] Hey, just RELAX, okay???

 

Gallant: Don't worry; it'll be okay. Here, I'll show you why.

[actor61]

Goofus: Sup?

Galland: It's nice to meet you.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: Uh, hi, yeah, let's get started.

 

Gallant: I'm sorry I'm late.

[+ friendofsheila]

(I did what Goofus did below, once, with my first escort.)

 

Goofus: Louder.

 

[pause, listening to the other person.]

 

LOUDER.

 

Gallant: Could you say that louder? It would really turn me on if you did!

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: That's NOT what I like.

 

Gallant: Could we try again? And could you do it this other way?

[+ Keith30309]

LOL - this is the best one yet! And, by the way, both are extremely common for escorts to hear.

 

These are all great!

 

A year ago, if you had told me some of the things that clients say I'd think there was no way anyone could be so crude. Since then I've had some idle chit-chat with some of my 'new friends' and the things they hear floor me... I can't imagine a situation in which I have so little feeling for someone with whom I want to be intimate that I could say or do things that insensitive. I think you have to have a pretty thick skin and allot of emotional resilience to go thru that and still deliver consistently excellent experiences.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: You're not in shape.

Gallant: Let's turn the lights down.

[+ purplekow]

Pukka Up I guess this is a whole new expression.

Edited December 15, 2017 by purplekow

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: I can't get hard. It must be you.

 

Gallant: Can we take a break? I'm pretty distracted, but I guess you can tell.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: (at first meeting) You have to pay me NOW.

 

Gallant: Because you're a first-time client, I ask for payment in advance.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: I don't want my neighbors to see someone like you enter my home.

 

Gallant: I'd prefer an in-call.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus (in person): How old are you?

 

Gallant (in person): You've kept yourself looking great!

[+ azdr0710]

man, I remember Highlights magazine when I was a kid with G and G......couldn't wait for each new issue......."Fun With A Purpose".....

 

 

[+ Robster]

I can't believe I haven't seen this thread before. These are great!!

 

Rob

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus: You're not very flexible, are you?

 

Gallant: Let's try this in another position.

[+ friendofsheila]

Goofus (in a outraged, judgemental tone): You want to do... WHAT???

 

Gallant: Hmmm... I've never done that before. Could we talk about it first?

[+ friendofsheila]

I can't believe I haven't seen this thread before. These are great!!

 

Rob

 

Thank you, Rob!