Being nice as a rule

[gcursor]

So I ran across this book that I had to special-order from the UK which talks about how to get and keep boyfriends. One of the themes of the book is that "being a REALLY NICE GUY" will never get you a boyfriend (I'm just saying what the book says here). SO I was left wondering a question for all of you...

 

Is there any rule(s) that you have found helpful in trying to get and keep boyfriends?

Gcursor

[josephga]

I think a person can be too nice. Some people like a challenge iv heard girls say it too guys over the years that they are too nice. No reason too think this doesn't happen in the gay world as well. imo some people mistake being nice as being weak. Also I think its easy too find sex but difficult too find a good bf. I find allot of guys worry too much about insignificant traits in a relationship. wanting someone that likes to watch the same movies as them, same foods, same books, same everything. and if your 98% of that it still wont be good enough for some people.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Since I've only been the proud owner (kidding) of my very first boyfriend for only about 2 months, I hope it works long term. But I found being nice, considerate, patient, and kind works. Sorry if being nice doesn't work with some. But it is who I am, it is what I do. And so far it's working quite nicely, thank you very much.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

So I ran across this book that I had to special-order from the UK which talks about how to get and keep boyfriends. One of the themes of the book is that "being a REALLY NICE GUY" will never get you a boyfriend

 

I believe there is a fine line between being nice and mannered and always being nice about everything. It is the imperfections in someone that I find interesting.

[+ friendofsheila]

Have they given a definition for "nice guy", GC?

 

There's "being nice," and there's "being everyone's doormat," which I would find annoying.

[orbital sander]

So I ran across this book that I had to special-order from the UK which talks about how to get and keep boyfriends. One of the themes of the book is that "being a REALLY NICE GUY" will never get you a boyfriend (I'm just saying what the book says here). SO I was left wondering a question for all of you...

 

Is there any rule(s) that you have found helpful in trying to get and keep boyfriends?

Gcursor

 

Burn the books and get out there and meet people....

[+ deej]

Having a really big dick helps.

 

Or so I've heard.

[uwsman2]

I don't think a really big dick is as important as a really good heart, intelligence, and honesty.

[gcursor]

little more explanation

 

They do indeed friendofsheila...

 

One example they give is of a guy who met another girl (I know what the forum posters are thinking possibly "This isn't about gay couples!" but it IS written by a gay man who has read many relationship books and counseled many friends through things......

 

Anyway here's an example from the book of "being nice":

"It was all too effortless. I was used to the hunt. She was so nice and so willing to please from the outset that I thought it was too good to be true. She even brought me lunch in the office one day, which was the beginning of the end. I don't want a woman who looks at me like an adoring puppy, all pleading and dependent, so I finished it a week after that."

 

Because there was no pursuit and no uncertainty, the guy very quickly lost interest.

Gcursor

 

 

Have they given a definition for "nice guy", GC?

 

There's "being nice," and there's "being everyone's doormat," which I would find annoying.

[Guest Merlin]

I think the most successful relationships, including marriages, involve one person who is a leader and the other a follower. Not to the extreme, but in general. I am not saying one must be an actual dishrag. BUT, Where both people are about equal in making decisions, etc it may work for awhile, but eventually, they will disagree and split.

[Guest Rich.]

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen!

 

Richard

[leigh.bess.toad]

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen!

 

Richard

 

Treat me mean, I won't be seen.

[Guest Rich.]

Treat me mean, I won't be seen.

 

 

If you can't even be seen Lee, you're likely to be partially herd!

 

Richard

[leigh.bess.toad]

If you can't even be seen Lee, you're likely to be partially herd!

 

Richard

 

Ifa bf treated me mean, I wouldn't be heard at all. I'd be outta there. In Usain Bolt like speed. I have too little of my life left to stick around and be treated badly.

[Guest Rich.]

I'm afraid, my friend, I'd prefer never to be part of a herd! However, having turned my alpha dog gay, maybe I shouldn't pontificate!

 

Richard

[+ friendofsheila]

Anyway here's an example from the book of "being nice":

"She even brought me lunch in the office one day,

 

, all pleading and dependent, "

 

 

The 2 portions of the example don't fit together much in my mind. I don't think they did a very good job of giving a definition.

 

It sounds to me like they wrote what they wrote (an attention-getting generalization) more to sell books.