What makes you happy?

[leigh.bess.toad]

One of the blogs I read daily, and have it sent to me every day, is a blog called Confessions of a Straight Gay Man. It's always well written with a lot of thought provoking comments. But today's post asks the simple question: what makes you happy as a gay man.

 

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What is gay happiness? What is to be “gay happy?” There are probably as many definitions and interpretations for that question as there are men we’ve encountered and, perhaps, if for just a moment, loved in our collective, eclectic lives.

 

For some of us, being happy means non-stop scoring; it doesn’t matter with what, as long as the body count (or should I say dick/ass count) remains high. Isn’t there some stat out there that says the average straight person has a handful of sexual partners in his or her life versus the average gay guy’s triple, quadruple digit total?

 

For others, it’s having one or two genuine Kodak moments with another guy in a lifetime.

 

For some of us, it’s having a partner for life, someone as much into us as we are into them. That could mean total monogamy, or a relationship where the two of you have fun with hot, sexy guys. Together.

 

For some of us, it’s having a pair or trio of fuck buddies, fun to romp with, but also brothers-in-sin, guys we can open up to, laugh with, and comfort without all the reservations, concessions, and roll-a-coaster ride complications of a “relationship.”

 

For others, having a few good friends, or even one, without sex in the equation, can mean everything. Lovers, sex partners come and go, but a solid friend is forever.

 

For some of us, being gay happy means being at the top of our form in all arenas, professionally, socially, and sexually, like a porn star in a three piece suit. For others of us, it’s being alone in the middle of nowhere, content in our own solitude, not needing people or things, just the unconditional, uncomplicated love of a pet.

 

Or for my close friend John, an-ex New York City cop who never said a truly disparaging word toward anyone in all the years I knew him, it was being with his gay motorcycle bros, traveling the highways and byways of Florida right to the end, when he was thrown off his bike by an truck making an illegal u-turn and found the thousand pounds of machinery he loved come crashing down on him.

 

Being gay happy is knowing yourself, your strengths, your limitations, your hard on’s and your stretch marks, and accepting them all with a smirk.

 

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Do you fall in several of the categories he lists? I know I do. But one thing rings truer than any other: "Lovers, sex partners come and go, but a solid friend is forever."

 

So what makes you happy?

[justaguy]

I have problems with the question. I think being happy is being happy regardless of sexual orientation. If the question is what makes me happy about being gay, the answer is simple: I like men, a lot!

[gcursor]

what makes you happy

 

Making OTHER people laugh and be happy!

Gcursor

 

 

So what makes you happy?

[dapurplebear]

I tend to agre with gcursor -- I am a pleaser - when others are happy -- I am happy - though I have been working on self-gratification-- wait that doesnt sounds right!! -- but truly- wondering music -great food and great company and friends -- gifts of life on this earth...

[+ sf westcoaster]

Being connected to friends and family - gay or straight makes not an iota of difference, take away my friends and there is nothing, including wild passion sex, that is an adequate replacement for a happiness recipe.

[NYTomcat]

To me its feeling like you share your life with others. Whether that's one person or hundreds and your living has an impact on them. And they on you. For me this forum has been quintessential in giving me that feeling and the wonderful people I share my life with

[Diverdan]

"What makes you happy as a gay man" is a very difficult question to answer on only one level. Being "happy" does not necessarily relate to one's gayness or preference for other men for sexual satisfaction or gratification. What makes me happy is related to many of the suggestions above... family, friends (whether gay or straight or bi) accomplishments at work, listening to a great symphony concert, strolling on the beach (especially in Hawai`i), etc. Those things that make me happy are often connected with the other person that shares the experience with me, whether that is on a sexual level, an intellectual level, a sensual level or in some other way. When all of those things come together it is truly wonderful, and beyond just being happy. I count my self blessed, and happy, that I have had many such moments and hope to continue to have them until my last breath. I hope the same for all of the other posters here on the Forum too.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

What makes me happy is seeing new experiences through the eyes of my nieces and nephews.

[+ honcho]

It's going to sound trite, but not a whole lot of things have made me happy lately, and I"m not going to assert that there's any particular pattern,

but performing a musical piece reasonably accurately and conveying the mood and atmosphere I intended, and also have written some computer

programs that took months to develop, and finally worked as they were intended made me very happy.

 

That I am beginning to sound like a professional oboe player to my own ear, even though it isn't reflected in recordings, yet also has made me

very very happy, and not think that I"ve wasted the last 18 months going back to school.

[trooperbill2000]

My chief source of happiness has always been my work and my profession-not romantic relationships. You can't depend on others to bring you hapiness.

 

I also derive great pleasure from my close associations with caring and quality people.

[jackhammer91406]

Another day.......

 

Your original post asked what made me happy? well, for me I got another day today.

Don't get me wrong, they aren't all good days. For the last 12 months there have been some really lousy days. BUT, there's been some really good ones like today. And they are extra days as in more days. The other day I got to climb to the top of an historical lighthouse here in St Augustine, FL. 219 steps. I climbed them. Everyone one of them. Sure I took some rests on the way up and way down But the view and weather were spectacular. Point is, I am still kicking and that definitely makes me happy. Really thankful and happy to get more days. Simple stuff. Sorry if that wasn't what you were looking for.

[+ purplekow]

Jackhammer, ultimately getting more days to be happy is the biggest blessing and it is not guaranteed for any one of us. I have found my greatest happiness in a job well done. This is not just in a professional sense, but in each aspect of my life. I try to revel in successes large and small. Today, what made me happy was getting home on time, to be able to relax a bit, pet the dogs, make some dinner and relax quietly by myself. In between, I made arrangements to meet an escort on a trip which is have planned for next month, and getting those plans started made me happy. i was happy the Mets won. I was happy watching Ralph Lauren on Oprah and seeing just how far a guy from the Bronx could go. He lived the American Dream including being a cowboy with a huge expanse of land in Colorado, the vistas of which were breathtaking. I was happy for the successes I had at my job today, some of which were quite notable. I am happy right now as I have tomorrow off and I plan on doing the New York Times Crossword puzzles from over the weekend and start a fire in the fireplace and just be cozy. Oh and I was happy that I won $7 dollars on a lottery ticket. I rarely play and I have won only a few times. It was fun to win.

[justaguy]

Jackhammer, yes to each day with something new to see. Who cares if we rest on the stairs, it gives us time to pause and see things. Right now for me it's my garden transitioning from spring to summer--the iris are almost done (all 50 varieties of them), the roses are going full tilt, and the tropicals I overwintered in the back bedroom are putting on leaves. There's beauty everywhere I look. That makes me happy.

[Racketjock]

Doing a job well, having pride in what I accomplish, giving to others, like Jackhammer, being thankful I have another opportunity to celebrate life and that I get to live it however fully I can and choose to do so, makes me damn happy indeed. Thanks for posing the question.