Delicate matters

[gcursor]

So I've posted on here a few times but I have a new question and thought I'd get everybody's take on it.

 

Typically if I hire escorts then it's for a 24 hour period and I take them out for dinner and movie and everything else (red rose, etc.) but because of how I look, I feel bad about doing anything more than that. I mean I'm nearing middle-age and I don't have a good body by any means..typically when I read reviews people never seem to mention their weight or anything.

 

Anyway I feel bad at the end of the night because I may want to do something but my self-conscience feels sad that I'm looking like the way I do and have to ask this person to enjoy it anyway.

 

Anyway I just wanted to hear a few opinions from everybody..thought it might clear up a few things for me.

 

gcursor

[Decatur Guy]

Well, almost any of us who hire an escort obviously aren't going to make a living as a model. That's rather inherent in the escort-client relationship. I certainly wouldn't pay $200 to $300 an hour to get something I could get for free. You just kind of have to get over that part of it. (And it's not easy ... I know.)

 

I'm in my late 40s and 5-10, 170 lbs. So I'm not overweight. But I have my own issues when it comes to my looks. Bottom line: I ain't pretty.

 

Here's a suggestion, and it's totally meant as supportive: Ditch the escorts for awhile. You're spending an awful lot of money just to be having dinners, movie partners and such. Take that money you clearly have and hire a personal trainer. And this isn't about quickly transforming yourself into a stud. This is about SLOWLY developing a good exercise and a nutrition program that's RIGHT FOR YOU. And make sure you ease into this. I don't believe in the boot-camp approach.

 

If you regularly exercise and generally eat a healthy, well-balanced diet, you can't help but feel better. It's inevitable. And if you feel better, you'll look better. And then you'll begin a virtuous cycle that may result in a new outlook sexually.

 

Let's face it -- some of us weren't dealt a good hand physically. But we can play the hand we have to full advantage. I don't have any aces up my sleeve. I don't even have any face cards. But I know the power of pulling together a four, a five, a six, a seven and an eight. ... I suspect if you hire a trainer, visit a nutritionist and ditch the escorts for the next six months and concentrate financially and mentally on yourself and your well-being, you're going to have a vastly different outlook. And sex will happen.

 

I wish you the best.

[instudiocity]

Get over it. If you don't like the way you look, do something about it. Sorry to sound insensitive, but you are the only person who can change anything about you - be it your self-concept, opinion, or weight.

 

I started counting calories in and walking 5 miles a day. At 54! I've dropped 44 of my goal weight of losing 65 pounds. My boytoy thinks I look incredible now. He says he loved sex with me at 240, loves it more at 196 and is now walking with me 2-3 times a week.

 

Oh, he's 23, hot, sexy, and charges me his full rate for sex. I do however take him wine-tasting, prepare dinners for him, and enjoy his company outside of those $$$ dates.

 

I'm feeling pretty good about myself - You can take control and start to feel good about yourself.

 

And yes, I know, he's a business man, but he sure does take good care of my BUSINESS! We get better and better all the time!

[Phil_musc]

Wow - two responses that are very different in style and impact. But try to see the commonality in them. They both encourage you to take a more aggressive approach to changing your life, and both recommend some sort of exercise regimen. I concur. You are "nearing middle age" by your own admission; that means that you are still young. (The cup is either half full or half empty; it's up to you to decide which is which.) Seize the opportunity to re-invent yourself. Others will notice the changes soon enough and you may find that you are hiring less often and for reasons other than getting someone to go out to dinner and a movie with you. Good luck and please keep us posted on how things develop.

[gcursor]

thanks for all the responses..it was very much appreciated.

I guess I'm trying to hone in more on the question of how the escort feels when they have to do it with somebody who isn't ideal. Admittedly that probably happens most of the time but I was just curious is all.

[instudiocity]

I guess I'm trying to hone in more on the question of how the escort feels when they have to do it with somebody who isn't ideal.

Don't make the mistake of thiniking the escort has the same view as you have. My 23 year old boytoy enjoys me for who and what I am. I've turned him onto wine and he's turned me on to Japanese cuisine. We both share an interest in dogs. We share an interest in hiking. I love hot 20 something young men. He thinks they are immature and childish. I think he used the term DRAMA QUEEN.

 

When I hire him for a date, he knows he's going to have a great time and somebody's gonna get fucked. I know I'm going to have a good time and SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET FUCKED! He says he enjoys sex with all types of guys. In the past, I've had older men and the sex was fun. In the future, I'm gonna have sex with younger men and THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN...

[josephga]

Get over it. If you don't like the way you look, do something about it. Sorry to sound insensitive, but you are the only person who can change anything about you - be it your self-concept, opinion, or weight.

 

I started counting calories in and walking 5 miles a day. At 54! I've dropped 44 of my goal weight of losing 65 pounds. My boytoy thinks I look incredible now. He says he loved sex with me at 240, loves it more at 196 and is now walking with me 2-3 times a week.

 

 

 

0h, he's 23, hot, sexy, and charges me his full rate for sex. I do however take him wine-tasting, prepare dinners for him, and enjoy his company outside of those $$$ dates.

 

I'm feeling pretty good about myself - You can take control and start to feel good about yourself.

 

And yes, I know, he's a business man, but he sure does take good care of my BUSINESS! We get better and better all the time!

 

 

 

congrats on your weight loss. I'm still struggling to lose the 20lbs iv gained since giving up massage. after that the 20lbs came on fast.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey GCursor,

 

First of all, I am glad you got the nerve to write this. I certainly see your post as a step in the right direction. I think you have received interesting responses but I would like to go in entirely a different direction than them.

 

You are perfect right now, exactly as you are.

 

Now.

 

Not when you lose that weight, not when you wax your body, not when you get that lift, not when your doctor greenlights the steroids, not when your job pays better, not when you find someone who adores you, not, not not, not... not then.

 

Now.

 

No matter how hard you try, how devoted you become to all sorts of programs, if the way you look at yourself doesn't change now, if your relationship with yourself doesn't change, if you don't start being kinder and more loving towards yourself, no program, diet, surgery, or magic wand will create any change. (Or it will create a change but you will be unable to acknowledge it and enjoy it.)

 

You don't need to change anything about yourself, except for the way you think about and treat yourself. As that relationship improves, little by little your own body and instincts will start asking you to make gradual lifestyle changes that will be sustainable and will give you goals that are attainable. Sooner than you think it possible you will be not only feeling better, but also looking better and being much healthier.

 

If I were you I would try to find a therapist with whom I can work in fun ways to create a new relationship with myself. Now when it comes to escorts, I strongly recommend you to find an escort who is consistently well reviewed, whose reviews mention his talents at making people feel comfortable and sexy, and when you choose your escort, either tell him exactly what you told us at the beginning of this thread, or send him a link to it. We have a lot of experience with all sorts of people, with all sorts of self-images and bodies. We are doing this because we have a calling, a desire to make you feel good about yourself, and because we will be able to find the ways in which you are truly beautiful. If you come to an experienced, well-reviewed escort and let us know what you are going through, we may be able to assist you in finding the ways in which you are beautiful and desirable now.

 

It makes no sense to keep wasting your money if you are not only not getting what you need, but if you feel worse after those long unsatisfying sessions. From now on, try to only meet escorts if you think you can go in a different direction with them. Tell them about what you want and what you are feeling and make sure your needs get fulfilled.

 

Here's to using this ending year as the end of this way of looking at yourself, and the new year as the carrier of a new relationship with yourself. You deserve to feel sexy and wanted and healthy. You deserve to like yourself, and the minute you start feeling that, your whole body will transform itself accordingly.

 

Happy new year, and happy new self!

 

You are perfect now.

[Diverdan]

Juan,

What wonderful advise. I couldn't have said it better. Our attitude towards ourselves starts from the inside, and fortunately there are escorts like you who can make anyone feel like a million bucks!

 

It is also true that there are a lot of younger guys who are not escorts, who prefer the company of "older men" and not just to find a sugar daddy.

 

Gcursor, if you follow what Juan has said, you will find a whole new relationship with a lot of men, both escorts and others.

 

Happy New Year and the start of something great!

 

DD

[12is12]

GCursor,

 

At this very moment in which you're reading my post, thousands upon thousands of men are having gay or straight sex, for free or for pay, who look (or think they look) worse than you do (or think that you do). If they can enjoy sex, so should you. Though I've never checked this, I'm sure that every escort you'll meet could tell you horror stories about clients that, unlike you, were realy problematic.

 

Stop thinking and start enjoying.

[SteveStacks]

Once again, very, very well put Juan.

Couldn't have said it better.

Ditto! *LOL*

[leigh.bess.toad]

GCursor -- you have received advice from some of the very best this board have to offer. Juan, you are simply the best. I've told you and others many times -- you are more beautiful and sexy on the inside than you are on the outside and you are sexy as hell on the outside. That makes for an amazing package.

 

Yes, GCursor, you can certainly find an escort who is very experienced in dealing with gentlemen our age (and you are certainly younger than I) who have confidence issues with their body. They will be able to help put you at ease about your issues. In fact, I would bet that if you had employed one of these gentlemen, they would WANT to help you do it. These guys get a lot of joy and pride with helping guys learn to feel comfortable with themselves. In fact, by NOT discussing it with them and dealing with it, you are depriving them of what makes them happy. So you may think you are doing them a favor and you really aren't. But that's if you hire the best. Look at their reviews. Talk to them on the phone first. Explain your issues. They've heard it before. Whee are you located? The members of the board may be able to help. Or send me a private message. If I know someone in the area I'll make a suggestion or if I know a member from the area I'll point you their way. The point is go out and enjoy your time with these guys. The truly great ones want to help you. That's what makes them great.

[Epigonos]

Gcurson the main thing you need to needs to come to grips with is that your current problem is the way YOU see yourself NOT the way the ESCORT see you. If you are clean, have fresh breath, and are nice you will be in good shape in the eyes of 90+% of all escorts.

 

When you read reviews make a point of reading the description the reviewer provided of himself. Look for reviews by reviewers who are similar to yourself. When you contact an escort who interests you use email and in your second or third communication provided him with a full description and ask if he has a problem with anything you have stated. I’m OLD (70) and have been hiring escorts for ten years. Only once has an escort failed to answer me after I provided him with my description. I describe myself in the following manner:

Age: 70

Height: 0’0”

Weight: 000

Physical Shape:

Likes:

Dislikes:

 

Good luck and stop beating yourself to death and start having some fun!!

[bcohen7719]

I have a similar problem as does "GCursor." In fact, I've been studying "Daddy's Reviews" for some time now looking for a "first" male escort/companion who wouldn't mind being with a 61-year old. A number of wonderful "Daddy's" contacts finally pointed out someone in Los Angeles (3,000 miles away) who would be great. After some email exchanges, he appears to be an absolute sweetheart, re-assuring that age and body type are not an issue with him. Nevertheless, it is very tough to take the plunge. I asked in a previous post if more escorts might advise in more detail "how the heck they do it," and whether escorts had to use a lot of viagra. Some people pounced on me for being too negative. I found the condition called "timiophilia" (persons aroused sexually by money or power). It would almost be a relief if this were true. Is it, or is that an urban legend?

 

BC

 

[please don't pounce on me again--not on New Year's Eve]

[Decatur Guy]

I think you've gotten some great advice about being good to yourself. I still stand my belief that you should temporarily divert your money from hiring escorts to getting a trainer and starting a moderate and sustainable exercise/eating program. It will spill over into every aspect of your life. This is about a whole lot more than whether escorts can get it hard for guys who don't look like them.

 

Any person who doesn't have outstanding health issues should be getting some type of regular exercise. It's great to have good self-esteem, but you need something solid to base it on. And few things are more rewarding that setting some personal goals and accomplishing them.

[gcursor]

This was an AWESOME reply Juan! Thanks so very very very much for taking the time and sharing with me this knowledge....crap...i don't know how to post this next to Juan's....

 

anyway I wanted to thank Juan and EVERYBODY else for being so nice and kind and wonderful

 

gcursor

[Steven_Draker]

and remember, Gcursor, that there's no better place than this if you want your ego boosted even if you're overweight,

over-norm, overaged or ununderstood ... escorts are nonjudgmental by nature.

[bcohen7719]

SD is correct. After studying hundreds of escort ads, I saw only one guy--just

one--in London (but I won't give his identity) who specified the type of clients he would

not cater to in terms of age or weight. Even in this case, he seemed more aiming to help out from the get-go, rather than being judgmental.