tops bottoms and versatility

[NYTomcat]

Ok so as you all know too much about me Anyway... lol. I've recently been having my most active gay sex life ever. Discovering as much as I can about men and me. When I started as a teenager I was clearly a bottom. That was my interest almost too exclusivity. More recently I've been describing myself as a top Though with certain. People I prefer bottoming still.

 

Im noticing that with different men and my own different moods my preferences change. I figure this is pretty normal. But given my experiences are somewhat broken up by periods of marriage. Im wondering. Is it common for the proverbial leopard to change its spots. I mean throughout the course of life's sexual encounters do alot of people shift their preferences.

 

For example I've noticed That for me... right now.... when im feeling like aggressive rough sex I tend to want to top. Literally a more aggressive anonymous type of encounter

Were as bottoming for me is a more passionate and intimate experience. Something im only comfortable with when I know the partner well.

[Alan]

Like you, my preferences change with my mood and how I feel about my partner. Most of time now, I like to do both--bottom and top with the same partner I'm with. But other times I prefer one or the other. I think that's pretty normal.

[orbital sander]

Actually, I have ignored the details about you in the hostile threads...

 

For me this all depends upon the guy I am with and how I feel about them. I cannot explain why, but it is probably a comfort issue. So I never predefine "what" I am, and I have also noticed that there seem to be many guys out there that are much more "versatile" then they let on a first. I am sure that there are folks who are strict in their positions, but I would guess that the lines are more often blurred than not.

 

Have a great day!

[dapurplebear]

for me it is about the mood and the guy -- my fb and I flip all the time and as an escort once said to me - flipping is the hottest thing around... I tend to agree...

[+ nycman]

I was born a top...and I'll die a top.

 

Not a macho hang up...it's just the way I'm built.

 

Do what works for you!

[Diverdan]

I really admire guys who can flip with ease. I have tried to bottom several times, but it just never seems to work. I think the most important thing is to do what you and your partner are comfortable with... doing what excites you and your partner, and not worry about the roles. As nycman says "Do what works for you!" Also, I find that mutual massage, cuddling, kissing, etc. all add to the pleasure of the time together... so Tom, do what the mood strikes you to do, as long as your partner is equally involved and satisfied.

[NYTomcat]

I really admire guys who can flip with ease. I have tried to bottom several times, but it just never seems to work. I think the most important thing is to do what you and your partner are comfortable with... doing what excites you and your partner, and not worry about the roles. As nycman says "Do what works for you!" Also, I find that mutual massage, cuddling, kissing, etc. all add to the pleasure of the time together... so Tom, do what the mood strikes you to do, as long as your partner is equally involved and satisfied.

 

I appreciate all the responses. Im just finding it strange that my mood changes so much based on who im with

 

Unlike nycman. Lol. Who obviously is tops ... we always knew That ..

 

I haven't found a real comfort yet with flipping. Its work once or twice. And was great but most of the time I seem To get into one mode and just get stuck. Even when I'd like to be More versatile. Im figuring that as experience and comfort change so will my flexibility ... as it were. But I just wondered if this was something others found developed with time.

 

Ok deej Dont start... I've often called myself the newbie. Not to hiring but I didn't have sex with men before Nov 2009. Other than forays as a teenager. And I was a one woman man that entire interim. Given that I was hiding and not exploring my sexual side at all. Rather I buried It under 300 lbs of fat. My knowledge of sex was far more biological than psychological. So this is all Really new to me

[+ sf westcoaster]

Depends 100% on who I am with and what my mood is at the time. Flipping is a rarity but when it happens it is a total blast!

[raulgmanzo]

Flipping is the best. I've found that as time goes on I get better and better at it.

Nothing makes me top better than a bit of back and forth. Still not a power bottom or anything,

never have been able to take it too hard, deep or long, but people seem to think my ass feels great.

 

Spontaneous flipping can be great and mixing up the roles a bit. Love to be dominant,

mostly topping and then just throw a rubber on my bottoms dick and sit on it.

Especially fun when it works with a bottom who THINKS he is exclusively a bottom.

[doitb4ugo]

Tell me about it, Raul. You should mention the female condom which adds quite a bit to the delicious surprise you spring on your unsuspecting bottom..It is such a superior feeling compared to getting rubbered.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Tell me about it, Raul. You should mention the female condom which adds quite a bit to the delicious surprise you spring on your unsuspecting bottom..It is such a superior feeling compared to getting rubbered.

 

Do tell, boys, do tell

[Guest Spanky]

Spontaneous flipping can be great and mixing up the roles a bit. Love to be dominant,

mostly topping and then just throw a rubber on my bottoms dick and sit on it.

Especially fun when it works with a bottom who THINKS he is exclusively a bottom.

 

Very hot. For guys who are more naturally bottoms (like me), it's incredibly hot when a truly dominant top man does this. As a bottom, the last thing on your mind is fucking the top, and then he orders you to do so, or as Raul noted he ties you up so there is nothing you can do about it. It's this very hot mix of eroticism, humiliation, helplessness, and of course, your dick streaming in and out of another gentleman's butt.

 

If there is one dominant guy and multiple bottoms, it can also be hot when the top orders the bottoms to fuck one another. This is often mixed with some form of verbal humiliation from the top. Depending on one's perspective, this can significantly add to the thrill of it all.

[NYTomcat]

Flipping is the best. I've found that as time goes on I get better and better at it.

Nothing makes me top better than a bit of back and forth. Still not a power bottom or anything,

never have been able to take it too hard, deep or long, but people seem to think my ass feels great.

 

Spontaneous flipping can be great and mixing up the roles a bit. Love to be dominant,

mostly topping and then just throw a rubber on my bottoms dick and sit on it.

Especially fun when it works with a bottom who THINKS he is exclusively a bottom.

 

Notice Raul I said its work once or twice. Its definately twice you are one and you pretty much nailed our encounter right Here. And yes you and romann have been the only ones I stayed hard through bottoming so that such flipping was possible.

[Juan Vancouver]

For me neither bottoming nor topping have absolutely any predetermined quality of power, or aggression, or roughness or tenderness or intimacy or anything.

 

I find that both bottoming and topping, which I adore, can be done in all those different ways and styles. The only real difference for me between those two is just the organs involved and the sensations I get from them. I can be dominated by being fucked or by being asked to fuck. I can have rough passive or active sex, I can be intensely passionate sex taking it or giving it, and yes, I really like flipping.

 

There is an expression in greek for switching sides during the same session which could be translated roughly as: "Exchanging asses."

 

However, even if I see myself as a true versatile that doesn't mean that I always want both; sometimes I feel like I need a hot, warm ass firmly wrapped around my cock, sometimes I feel that all I can think of is a hard cock fucking me, most of the time I feel like having both at the same time...

 

Some people think I am just greedy.

 

Personally I applaud your not wanting to take on roles or definitions and allow yourself to navigate the fluid waters of your own sexuality. I believe that that is the healthiest way and certainly the only way in which you will be able to learn about you, what feels good and what doesn't.

 

Oh, Lord, all this talk about exchanging asses and nowhere to go! =)

[NYTomcat]

For me neither bottoming nor topping have absolutely any predetermined quality of power, or aggression, or roughness or tenderness or intimacy or anything.

 

I find that both bottoming and topping, which I adore, can be done in all those different ways and styles. The only real difference for me between those two is just the organs involved and the sensations I get from them. I can be dominated by being fucked or by being asked to fuck. I can have rough passive or active sex, I can be intensely passionate sex taking it or giving it, and yes, I really like flipping.

 

There is an expression in greek for switching sides during the same session which could be translated roughly as: "Exchanging asses."

 

However, even if I see myself as a true versatile that doesn't mean that I always want both; sometimes I feel like I need a hot, warm ass firmly wrapped around my cock, sometimes I feel that all I can think of is a hard cock fucking me, most of the time I feel like having both at the same time...

 

Some people think I am just greedy.

 

Personally I applaud your not wanting to take on roles or definitions and allow yourself to navigate the fluid waters of your own sexuality. I believe that that is the healthiest way and certainly the only way in which you will be able to learn about you, what feels good and what doesn't.

 

Oh, Lord, all this talk about exchanging asses and nowhere to go! =)

Ok Juan. I was going over my short list of escorts I wanted to meet with a fellow poster the other day and said and "of course Juan Vancouver ... who doesn't want to have sex with Juan "

 

You just once again proved my point.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Ok Juan. I was going over my short list of escorts I wanted to meet with a fellow poster the other day and said and "of course Juan Vancouver ... who doesn't want to have sex with Juan "

 

You just once again proved my point.

 

Tomcat -- we have got to get on this thing. We have GOT to get that man on this coast for a visit. Let me see if I can clear my Memory long enough so together we can work on making our Impossible Dream a reality.

 

Every damn time he posts something it just makes me want him here more and more. At this rate, he could probably post the phone book and it would sound sexy.

 

And Juan -- how was Mexico???

[Diverdan]

As someone who has enjoyed being with Juan.... I can only say he is one remarkable guy... we have been by ourselves and also together enjoyed the company of another...I am sure that several of you can talk him into making a trip to NYC worthwhile... give him an invitation he can't refuse!!His posts only give a clue as to what a remarkable guy he is in every respect. Treat him right and he will return the favor ten times!

[leigh.bess.toad]

As someone who has enjoyed being with Juan.... I can only say he is one remarkable guy... we have been by ourselves and also together enjoyed the company of another...I am sure that several of you can talk him into making a trip to NYC worthwhile... give him an invitation he can't refuse!!His posts only give a clue as to what a remarkable guy he is in every respect. Treat him right and he will return the favor ten times!

 

Dan -- now I'm positively green with envy. There have already been sesveral of us in discussions about doing just that. I was actually trying to see about maybe splitting some time between DC and NYC but if it's only me in the DC contingent who would be interested I would be more than interested in going to NY to spend some time with him. And I've emailed with Juan and he is interested as well. So if anyone else is interested in joining a group to get Juan over here in NYC or DC, PM me and I'm willing to work on trying to put something together. Given the time to organize it and with the holidays and winter weather fast approaching (how's that for a pleasant thought...) my initial thinking was spring but that is very, VERY flexible -- if we can get it to work.

[Diverdan]

Hey Lee,

I like your initiative... but remember, "When the weather outside is frightful, and you, my dear are so delightful, so when there's no other place to go... let's stay inside by the fire, on a bear skin rug... and play all night long... and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"

 

I can just see it now, a beautiful hotel suite high above the city with incredible views from floor to ceiling windows, and a few guys with Juan and perhaps others as well to enjoy the holiday magic in NYC.

 

And, in case I forget and in the spirit of this thread... being flexible will really help!!! Enjoy.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Hey Lee,

I like your initiative... but remember, "When the weather outside is frightful, and you, my dear are so delightful, so when there's no other place to go... let's stay inside by the fire, on a bear skin rug... and play all night long... and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"

 

I can just see it now, a beautiful hotel suite high above the city with incredible views from floor to ceiling windows, and a few guys with Juan and perhaps others as well to enjoy the holiday magic in NYC.

 

And, in case I forget and in the spirit of this thread... being flexible will really help!!! Enjoy.

 

For him, I'm as flexiible as a college gymnast. I just worry about getting everything all set up, all the players in place and we have last year's winter weather again this year. Now if he's already on this coast, great, more time to play. But if he's stuck in Vancouver and can't get here or can only make to Chicago and play with you, that doesn't do us any good (although it sure would help you, wouldn't it???)

 

Last winter sort of freaked me out a bit. I lived through the blilzzard of 78 in CT with 36 inches of snow in about 24 hours. I love me some Mt. Washington. I'm not some dumb Southern yokel who freaks when there's snow in Kansas (and trust me, they are here -- I see them all the time). But Philly, Baltimore, DC - almost 100" of snow last winter. Are you serious?

 

Trust me, the idea of curling up with a nice blazing fire on a cold snowy night with Juan would about set off any alarm bells I've got, but I just don't want to plan and have it called on account of snow.

 

But if others want it some other time, I'm up for anything. Anything that puts me in the same bed with Juan is fine by me.

[Juan Vancouver]

You guys!

 

A man cannot turn his back away from this forum and leave for a few days without having his wares peddled in his absence?

 

I like how you think!

 

It almost makes me want to just hop on a plane and (and Nyke says,) Just do it!

 

Thank you very much for your kind words. I don't blush often but you have made me blush a couple times reading this thread.

 

(Actually that was half a lie, you made me blush and pop a bone.)

 

I hope I will be able to meet you all very soon.

 

Big hug and dirty wishes!

[leigh.bess.toad]

Trust me, Juan, that bone is nothing compared to the one I get any time I think of you! I'm going to do my damndest, of that you can be assured.

 

Breathe, Lee, Breathe!!!!

[+ purplekow]

So leigh if I am reading your post the way you wrote it, you seem to think that Juan's boner pales in comparison to yours. Well then, I guess I better hurry and reciprocate that friend request because if that is true, you will soon be the most popular poster on the forum.

[leigh.bess.toad]

So leigh if I am reading your post the way you wrote it, you seem to think that Juan's boner pales in comparison to yours. Well then, I guess I better hurry and reciprocate that friend request because if that is true, you will soon be the most popular poster on the forum.

 

Hey PK. Size no way, are you crazy? Rigidity? If it isn't then his is titanium. Because that man does things to my groin that just aint right. It just aint right. Just the name, Juan Vancouver. I can go from soft to hard before you get to the 4th syllable.

[justaguy]

Ahem...a 6 hr. layover at Dulles and I didn't get a layover?