AdamSmith Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 (edited) I have a small collection of photos of Chinglish signs from my daughter's trip to China with a school group. Grammar is much simplified in Mandarin compared to English, which leads to these howlers; it's usually impossible to translate Mandarin into English literally and have it be grammatically correct English at the same time. It's also possible one or more of these signs is in Japanese. The titke of Japanese heavy metal group Dir en grey's song "Ryoujoku no ame" is usually translated "Rain of Rape" but a better translation would be "Relentless Rain." Even more than these overt howlers, or the trade names like Pocari Sweat bottled water or Creap powdered dairy creamer, I like the poetic surrealism of Janglish (kind of neat site: https://tefltastic.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/janglish-dictionary/) and like efforts when they succeed. For instance in Nagoya one time I noticed a video arcade that called itself Unexperienced Zone. I.e., a zone unlike any you've ever experienced. (Actually not Janglish but anyway.) Edited December 24, 2015 by AdamSmith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I have a small collection of photos of Chinglish signs from my daughter's trip to China with a school group. Grammar is much simplified in Mandarin compared to English, which leads to these howlers; it's usually impossible to translate Mandarin into English literally and have it be grammatically correct English at the same time. One way of checking where the signs are from is whether they use simplified characters or the standard ones. It's not conclusive: simplified generally means it's in the PRC, standard could be in Macau, Hong Kong, Taiwan or Japan. My Chinese is too rusty to pass judgment on the signs cited here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Zman, Kevin Slater and + quoththeraven 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Actual photographs of polar bear attack… Amazing!!! Bear Attack in Flin Flon, Manitoba, Canada. These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack. The pictures were taken while people watched and could do nothing to stop the attack! Reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery. The photos are below: Scroll Down.... http://www.zooborns.com/.a/6a010535647bf3970b01053683eb23970c-800wi ;) TruHart1 craigville beach, AdamSmith, bigvalboy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sincitymix Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Actual photographs of polar bear attack… Amazing!!! Bear Attack in Flin Flon, Manitoba, Canada. These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack. The pictures were taken while people watched and could do nothing to stop the attack! Reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery. The photos are below: Scroll Down.... http://www.zooborns.com/.a/6a010535647bf3970b01053683eb23970c-800wi ;) TruHart1 so cuuuuuuuuuuuuteeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!! <3 <3 <3 TruHart1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 bigvalboy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDXXX Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 (edited) I think you guys will get a kick of what "Gandhi" can really be like..... Like the man in the background towards the end of the clip said "THERE IS ONLY ONE LAW - HIS LAW"!!!! You'll laugh you're ass off. Enjoy!!! Edited December 24, 2015 by JDXXX TruHart1 and marylander1940 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 + honcho, marylander1940, Zman and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geminibear Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 » Christmas Eve - Italian Style I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents' house on Christmas Eve. I felt it would be interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays. I truly thought my mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees. Boy, was I wrong. Sue me! I had only known Linda for three weeks when I extended the invitation. "I realize these family things can be a little weird," I told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve." "Sounds fine to me," Linda said. I had only known my mother for 30 years when I told her I'd be bringing Linda with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really looking forward to meeting all of you." "Sounds fine to me," my mother said. And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's. What more could I want? I should probably point out that in Italian households, Christmas Eve is the social event of the entire year - an Italian woman's raison d'etre. She cleans. She cooks. She bakes. She orchestrates every minute of the entire evening. Christmas Eve is what Italian women live for. I guess I should also point out that when it comes to the kind of women that make Italian men go nuts, Linda is it. She doesn't clean. She doesn't cook. She doesn't bake. And she has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being. I brought her anyway. 7:00 PM we arrive. Linda and I walk in and putter around for half an hour waiting for the other guests to show up. During that half hour, my mother grills Linda like a cheeseburger and cannily determines that Linda does not clean, cook, or bake. My father, equally observant, pulls me into the living room and notes, "She has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being." 7:30 PM Others arrive - Uncle Ziti walks in with my Aunt Mafalde, assorted kids, assorted gifts. We sit around the dining room table for antipasto, a symmetrically composed platter of lettuce, roasted peppers, black olives, salami, prosciutto, provolone and anchovies. When I offer to make Linda's plate, she says, "Thank you. But none of those things, okay?" She points to the anchovies. "You don't like anchovies?" I ask. "I don't like fish," Linda announces to one and all as 67 other varieties of foods-that-swim are baking, broiling, and simmering in the next room. My mother makes the sign of the cross. Things are getting uncomfortable. Aunt Mafalde asks Linda what her family eats on Christmas Eve. Linda says, "Knockwurst." My father, who is still staring in a daze at Linda's chest, temporarily snaps out of it to murmur, "Knockers?" My mother kicks him so hard he gets a blood clot. None of this is turning out the way I had hoped. 8:00 PM Second course - The spaghetti and crab sauce is on the way to the table. Linda declines on the crab sauce and says she' ll make her own with butter and ketchup. My mother asks me to join her in the kitchen. I take my "Merry Christmas" napkin from my lap, and place it on the "Merry Christmas" tablecloth and walk into the kitchen. "I don't want to start any trouble," my mother says calmly, clutching a bottle of ketchup in her hands. "But if she pours this on my pasta, I'm going to throw acid in her face." "Come on," I tell her. "It's Christmas. Let her eat what she wants." My mother considers the situation, then nods. As I turn to walk back into the dining room, she grabs my shoulder. "Tell me the truth," she says, "are you serious with this tramp?" "She's not a tramp," I reply. "And I've only known her for three weeks." "Well, it's your life", she tells me, "but if you marry her, she'll poison you." 8:30 PM More fish ... My stomach is knotted like one of those macrame plant hangers that are always three times larger that the plants they hold. All the women get up to clear away the spaghetti dishes, except for Linda, who instead lights up a cigarette. "Why don't you give them a little hand?" I politely suggest. Linda makes a face and walks into the kitchen carrying three forks. "Dear, you don't have to do that," my mother tells her, smiling painfully. "Oh, okay," Linda says, putting the forks on the sink. As she re-enters the dining room, a wine glass flies over her head and smashes against the wall. From the kitchen, my mother says, "Whoops." I vaguely remember that line from Torch Song Trilogy. "Whoops?" No. "Whoops is when you fall down an elevator shaft." More fish comes out. After some groaning, Linda tries a piece of scungilli which she describes as "slimy, like worms." My mother winces, bites her hand and pounds her chest like one of those old women you always see in the sixth row of a funeral home. Aunt Mafalde does the same. Linda, believing this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, bites her hand and pounds her chest. My Uncle Ziti doesn't know what to make of it. My father's dentures fall out and chew a six-inch gash in the tablecloth. 10:00 PM Coffee, dessert ... Expresso all around. A little anisette. A curl of lemon peel. When Linda asks for milk, my mother finally slaps her in the face with a cannoli. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Linda, believing that this is something all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, picks up a cannoli and slaps my mother with it. "This is fun," Linda says. Fun? No. Fun is when you fall down an elevator shaft. But amazingly, everyone is laughing and smiling and filled with good cheer - even my mother, who grabs me by the shoulder and says, "Get the bitch out of my house!" Sounds fine to me. craigville beach, BabyBoomer, AdamSmith and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 + honcho, TruHart1, AdamSmith and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 http://41.media.tumblr.com/8318049f031f7d78a5e34aacb3b091fb/tumblr_nz5eku6XAq1qhub34o4_540.jpg http://40.media.tumblr.com/6dc4e54cb78d620616581c580e4decec/tumblr_nz5eku6XAq1qhub34o1_400.png http://40.media.tumblr.com/88c0e0c976b5d871b9ce54cc82ce8a55/tumblr_nz5eku6XAq1qhub34o2_400.png http://36.media.tumblr.com/6f1f04894aa0657e826aa8d599de6c56/tumblr_nz5eku6XAq1qhub34o3_540.png Source TruHart1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 + WmClarke, + quoththeraven and TruHart1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDXXX Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Merry Christmas - Not with this chorus your about to hear that'll have you rolling laughing in tears. Too much Drama with this Group..... Listen and see....... I don't know to say laugh or pull your hair out listening to this bunch. LOL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4NlR5KQLQ8 + quoththeraven and TruHart1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ deej Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 i had to use dashes instead of spaces in the last two words to spread it out, since the forum software seems to suppress multiple spaces.... anybody have any clues about entering unpadable spaces? This is late, but that's not the forum software. It's your browser. The HTML spec says repeated white space should be compressed. There are special HTML codes you can use to force spaces but IMO it isn't worth it. + honcho 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 bigvalboy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 A cat burglar is just a regular burglar who knocks all your shit off the shelves while showing you his butthole. Kevin Slater + quoththeraven 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Someone needs his hearing checked. Zman, AdamSmith, TruHart1 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 tyro, + quoththeraven and bigvalboy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/new-years-meme.jpg TruHart1 bigvalboy and AdamSmith 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WwRApE0bxHE/UsRVqz6afzI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/fykYWpyRGJc/s1600/NeW+Year+Res.png o_Oo_Oo_O TruHart1 AdamSmith, + honcho, Rod Hagen and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 TruHart1, + honcho, + glennnn and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 + MasssageGuy, bigvalboy, + quoththeraven and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 gallahadesquire, TruHart1, + MasssageGuy and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 TruHart1 + quoththeraven, Zman, AdamSmith and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ MasssageGuy Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 LMAO on this one! Thanks! AdamSmith 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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