+ Gar1eth Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Gman + Oliver, rvwnsd, BabyBoomer and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Just966 Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ PapaTony Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Thoughts for the day: I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one. A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse. Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response. Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent. Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread ain’t done in the middle.” Aliens probably ride by earth and lock their doors. “You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did. “ I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...... I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly. It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff. I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was. Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be accurate.” I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas. As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation. I thought getting old would take longer. I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday. Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does. My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started. Me: Sobbing my heart out, “ I can’t see you anymore.....I’m not going to let you hurt me again.” Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.” I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test...same thing. Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were !!!!extremely unlikely. beachboy, + Autumnal, wsc and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 A man told a friend he'd been fired for asking a customer "Smoking or non-smoking?" He then added, "Apparently in that industry the correct terminology is, "Burial or cremation?" + BlueSky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Like many men, I harbor a desire to have two women at the same time; one to cook, one to clean. + pdxleo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 “You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did. “ Those were great. The quoted one reminds me of a picture of a freeway sign: "It's a lane, not a birthright. Let them merge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response. I was at a friend's daughter's wedding; they'd been officially married in a quick civil ceremony about a year earlier, this was the 'big' wedding they'd originally planned. The groom joked to the bride's father "This is great. I look forward to seeing what you guys do for our third wedding." I said "If there's a third, you may not be in it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 Gman rvwnsd, Daverwr and + sam.fitzpatrick 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 I once read a medical journal article about the ill effects to your health of drinking alcohol, and which went thorough all the horrible diseases and conditions it causes or contributes to. It made me sweat a bit and caused much fear and apprehension. I decided right then and there to give up reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Gman rvwnsd and + Oliver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Archer Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Gman No, it's resistance TO training. instudiocity 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 No, it's resistance TO training. But that's not funny ? Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daverwr Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 [MEDIA=imgur]ev9SWK9[/MEDIA] Old Blue, rvwnsd, RomanticRick and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 what should it say? Gmsn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 what should it say? We have signs in our neighborhood saying "Speed hump". Nobody looking like that hanging around them that I've seen. Signs used to say "Speed bump", not "speed hump" - seems to be a recent change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 Thoughts for the day: I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one. A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse. Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response. Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent. Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread ain’t done in the middle.” Aliens probably ride by earth and lock their doors. “You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did. “ I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...... I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly. It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff. I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was. Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be accurate.” I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas. As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation. I thought getting old would take longer. I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday. Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does. My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started. Me: Sobbing my heart out, “ I can’t see you anymore.....I’m not going to let you hurt me again.” Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.” I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test...same thing. Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were !!!!extremely unlikely. lol I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one. Lol Lol I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...... My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started. LOL LOL LOL Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were !!!!extremely unlikely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 Please. He's never done speed in his life. Kevin Slater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 The character actress Peggy Pope has just died. She was in multiple things over the years. Here's a scene from Soap. I will have to say au contraire that there weren't any live gays in Texas at the time. I was in high school or college when it was on and not actively 'practicing,' but I was there. Gman Daverwr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daverwr Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I loved her! She has a temporary neighbor on the Golden Girls. She stopped working a while ago, I believe. So sorry when we lose such talent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 Gman rvwnsd 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daverwr Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 I’ll be in the corner if anyone needs me. Kevin Slater and RealAvalon 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealAvalon Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 Gman I really hope his/her teacher isn't LGBT+, and in Arkansas. (And on an artistic note, with the size of that black dot, I'd of expected more soap bubbles in the pic) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RomanticRick Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 I really hope his/her teacher isn't LGBT+, and in Arkansas. (And on an artistic note, with the size of that black dot, I'd of expected more soap bubbles in the pic) Soap bubbles would have completed the picture of a creampied hole ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 Soap bubbles would have completed the picture of a creampied hole ???? The above is the only type of cream pie that I like. The other type is just ? Gman instudiocity, RealAvalon and + bigjoey 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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