What do escort boys lose? How do you think of sex now?

[Guest Tetsu]

Hi all guys

 

I have a questions to both customers and escort boys.

What do you think escort boys lose?

 

I think one of them is social status.

To a greater or lesser, escort boys lose social status.

 

Some escort boys show their face pics on their ad. while they can get more customers, they have a risk of being found out on the web

 

The others don't show their face pics. Even though it's less risky, escort boys still can be found out. For example, if they quit escort and start a new job, their future new job coworkers may be their customers.

 

That was very pragmatic level.

 

Any other more abstract and mental level answers are welcomed.

 

Sorry for my bad English,

and thank you for reading.

 

Tetsu(Hiro)

[+ g56whiz]

Interesting question and I look forward to the replies but I think it needs to be posted in the "Ask An Escort" part of the forum.

 

And Tetsu, you don't have to apologize for your English. It ain't Shakespeare but it's quite functional, much more so than my Japanese and the Japanese of most other members of the forum. And Welcome to our deliberations.

[+ glutes]

You are my Hiro

 

Hiro, your English and spelling is better than mine.

Welcome, and interesting questions. We have one escort here who claims to be flown around in private aircraft. Guess he hasn't lost anything!

[KMEM]

Gloats-

 

So, are you going to Japan to improve your English?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[+ glutes]

Only if you pilot my private aircraft Dear Captain!

G5 is my pref.

[+ purplekow]

To interrupt the same petty argument that seems to infiltrate many of the threads here, I think escorts do not lose any more or less than any other people working for a living. They lose time and individual freedom and they gain financial compensation. It seems unlikely that this career will follow them for long, just as few know I was a shoe salesman when I was 20. Many gain the ability to travel and see great cities, ang they get to dine in fine restaurants. I never did that as a shoesalesman.

[josephga]

I think they might suffer in the area of other relationships. Most people won't date a escort

[KMEM]

Only if you pilot my private aircraft Dear Captain!

G5 is my pref.

 

So, now you have a G5, now known as a 550? Of course, before it was known as a GV but who is counting?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[+ purplekow]

I think they might suffer in the area of other relationships. Most people won't date a escort

As opposed to the huge throngs of people waiting to date balding fat men in their 50s.

[KMEM]

To interrupt the same petty argument that seems to infiltrate many of the threads here, I think escorts do not lose any more or less than any other people working for a living. They lose time and individual freedom and they gain financial compensation. It seems unlikely that this career will follow them for long, just as few know I was a shoe salesman when I was 20. Many gain the ability to travel and see great cities, ang they get to dine in fine restaurants. I never did that as a shoesalesman.

 

PK-

 

It would be really interesting to know how well retired escorts have done or are really doing. Many are very smart guys but going from getting paid $200 per hour to anything else (more or less) seems unlikely, escept for less. Remember, most started very young without much life experience and their experience was focused on the sex trade, although they certainly have had the opportunity to learn far more, but did they, and did they put it to good use? Plus, their "habits" included late nights and late days, not very conducive to what many regard as good work habits.

 

Not picking on anyone, just asking the question.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[+ purplekow]

Well the escorts I have hired, and admittedly I usually hire men rather than boys, have either had a career and have left it to escort. One I know was an accountant, one was active as a political activist, another was and is a writer. I know several who are investing heavily in real estate. Overall, for the ones I have come to know well enough to find out information about their past lives and future plans, they seem to be doing at least as well as your average Joe or average John.

[+ purplekow]

That is not to say that there are many escorts who take a very rough road which includes drugs and self destructive behavior. Certainly we have been reminded of many young men taken from this realm way too early due to escort life related choices.

[KMEM]

Yes, of course, we all are sad with those kinds of results. However, what you said was "seem" to be doing well. Nothing is for sure, but it would be interesting to "know" how well they are doing. Not trying to pry but just trying to get a handle on what is really happening. Thanks for your reply.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[NYTomcat]

I think your right that there is a toll on their personal lives. Sometimes due to others perception of there jobs. Sometimes a self imposed ostracism. But I agree when they are done in the profession. I think they leave it pretty easily behind. Mostly. If they so choose.

[Guest greatness]

I think

 

Japanese guys are hot!!! I love them because they are so polite and considerate..

And Tetsu your English is better than mine.. I don't have an answer for your questions but some retired escorts do well and have no problem in their life in the US. I guess it would be a bit different in Japan..

 

 

Hi all guys

 

I have a questions to both customers and escort boys.

What do you think escort boys lose?

 

I think one of them is social status.

To a greater or lesser, escort boys lose social status.

 

Some escort boys show their face pics on their ad. while they can get more customers, they have a risk of being found out on the web

 

The others don't show their face pics. Even though it's less risky, escort boys still can be found out. For example, if they quit escort and start a new job, their future new job coworkers may be their customers.

 

That was very pragmatic level.

 

Any other more abstract and mental level answers are welcomed.

 

Sorry for my bad English,

and thank you for reading.

 

Tetsu(Hiro)

[Guest alanm]

I think your right that there is a toll on their personal lives. Sometimes due to others perception of there jobs. Sometimes a self imposed ostracism. But I agree when they are done in the profession. I think they leave it pretty easily behind. Mostly. If they so choose.

 

Maybe I am behind the times, but I think many escorts play a high emotioal price if they have to hide their profession from their friends and family. Aaron Lawrence was the most well-known escort when Hooboy started this site.

 

I remember asking Aaron if his parents knew that he was an escort. He did not really answer, so I asked him a second time. Aaron finally admitted that his parents were unaware of what he did for a living. I'll stop there -- but will say that it was a big issue for him.

[JT Brooklyn]

Ask a Working Guy!

 

I do think the "Working Guys" may be able to answer this question as it really totally concerns them and their" Working It" experience.

 

Unfortunately only a few ever get involved in answering the Questions etc that come up in the "Ask an Escort Forum" for different reasons.

[AdamSmith]

Aaron finally admitted that his parents were unaware of what he did for a living. I'll stop there -- but will say that it was a big issue for him.

 

One escort showed me a rather horrifying txt msg from a stalker that read: "What would your parents say if they knew their son was a prostitute?"

 

An escort also described the "desensitizing" effect that working had on his off-the-clock sex life.

[josephga]

One of my massage clients told my brother that I gave sensual massages. my brother was selling his house and the lady buying the house's closing attorney turned out to be a lawyer that had been to me 4 times. He recolonized the resemblance and asked my brother if he was related too me he said yes and this guy told him he had come too me for massages including a hand release. My brother couldn't get home fast enough to call My mother..

[+ kontor1]

What do escorts lose?

 

Hi all guys

 

I have a questions to both customers and escort boys.

What do you think escort boys lose?

 

I think one of them is social status.

To a greater or lesser, escort boys lose social status.

 

Some escort boys show their face pics on their ad. while they can get more customers, they have a risk of being found out on the web

 

The others don't show their face pics. Even though it's less risky, escort boys still can be found out. For example, if they quit escort and start a new job, their future new job coworkers may be their customers.

 

That was very pragmatic level.

 

Any other more abstract and mental level answers are welcomed.

 

Sorry for my bad English,

and thank you for reading.

 

Tetsu(Hiro)

 

Great question Tetsu!

I think what they definitely lose is their virginity To answer this question more seriously, it depends. There are all kinds of guys out there doing the same thing.

There are gays, bisexuals (let's not mention straight guys at this time). There are openly gay people who are OUT and do not really care about what other people think. Somebody who is openly gay is not afraid of putting up his face picture most of the times. Being a gay escort is not necesseraly something you should be ashamed of nowadays ESPECIALLY if people know that you are gay, however being a gay escort is not as accepted nowadays as being a straight (woman) escort. Guys who are bisexual, they are usually not OUT. They do not necesseraly want to be recognized on the streets so that is why many times they do not post their face pictures on-line.

I do not think that if I retire and start working at a job where either my co-worker or my boss was used to be my client then it should be something bad. HEY, if it is my boss then I am more likely to get a promotion at my job

But just think about it... What is the chance that an escort when he retires works at a job where his co-worker or boss was a client of his? Close to zero. If it is a customer that is more likely but other than a warm greeting and some extra chit-chat nothing bad should come out of that situation either (considering the fact that their former encounter was a good one). But generally speaking most of the escorts when they retire they do it because they gather enough financially (whether it is real estate, stocks or a business) so they can AFFORD to quit. In these cases (most of the times) they no longer have to work for a company anymore.

[Juan Vancouver]

You get to pick.

 

Hi Tetsu,

 

You ask a very interesting question here, and before I give you my personal answer I would like to ask something.

 

Why do you refer to us as "escort boys"?

 

I assume that is a japanese expression translated to english, but I think it is very important in this context. The way we talk about things gives those things entirely different values. Our choice of words clearly communicates our beliefs about what we talk about. When I read it, "escort boys" communicates a slightly degrading energy about it. While we may be referring to the same person, we can call him hooker, tramp, ho, escort, working boy, escort boy, model and every different word we use to describe the same person will clearly communicate what we believe about this person and will show how comfortable we are talking about him.

 

 

 

Now about your question.

 

Someone in his answer told you that escorting takes a toll on escort's lives because of other people's perception about their job. I think here is the main flaw that I notice in most of the responses that I have read so far. I am convinced that other people's perception of what I do is entirely irrelevant. The only perception that matters, the only perception that creates any impact on my life is my own.

 

I have many escort friends all over the world. That is a rich and varied assortment of men, some of them highly skilled and talented in many areas, some others would be considered less prepared for life if we judged by what we believe the majority thinks. Some of these escorts feel proud and happy and blessed about their profession. They speak openly about it, they consider it as a badge of honour and most of the people around them know what they do. Some others are terribly ashamed and regard escorting as the cunning dark secret waiting patiently in the dark for the moment in which it is going to come out and bite their yummy asses.

 

It would be easy to think that the ones who feel great are the ones who have most options and vice versa, but there is no correlation about those two aspects. The only correlation is that the ones who feel good feel good about it because the beliefs that they have about their profession are filled with purpose, pride, excitement, vocation, honour.

 

Interestingly, all those escorts who feel great about themselves and their profession have absolutely no problem finding great people who are interested in sharing their lives with them. Their families know about their job, and celebrate it, their friends understand the nature of escorting and understand the beautiful service quality that it would ideally always have, and they have long understood that in order to make money it is not necessary to be employed in an office and therefore they seem to be free of the concerns of being "fired by their boss."

 

I love what I do and it fills me with pride. All the people that I love and most of the people that I know know what I do for a living and I have never -ever- been attacked for it. When I say to a person that I meet that I am an escort, I look directly at their eyes, relaxed, confident, and feel good about it. I expect nothing but curiosity and respect, because that is what I give myself.

 

Some other friends when they ask the same question, they mumble "I am in the adult entertainment industry" looking at their shoes. They blush and get flustered and immediately announce that they are about to start real state training so that they can get out of it... "It is not as bad as a lot of people think, you know?" they say. Needless to say, the response they get from people is less that supportive.

 

It is us who elicit other people's reaction. It is our personal beliefs.

 

It is easy to blame the culture we live in, people's close mindedness, widespread prejudice and so on, but truth is that two escorts will be accepted in exactly the same culture, by exactly the same people in entirely different ways, the only difference being what they believe about themselves to be true.

 

 

If you feel that you will loose status because of escorting, if you think that you will never recover from the shame, if you think that nobody will love you, nobody will respect you, that it would be a terrible mistake if you become an escort, I would sincerely advise you not to escort. Your peace of mind is much too precious, and escorting is not something that can be undone. However, if you really want to become an escort, I would suggest to radically change the beliefs about your profession. It can be a beautiful profession to celebrate intimacy and pleasure and coming together.

 

Lastly, I do not show my face on my profile, but that is not because of shame. If at some time the whole world learns that I am an escort, I am perfectly okay with that. If I don't show my face is because I have consciously decided to gear my publicity towards longer engagements. Most of the clients who hire for a weekend, a week or two weeks travels prefer to be accompanied by someone who is not a very well known and recognizable escort or porn star. While there are many who want to have a famous star by their arm, some others prefer discretion and privacy. I have made the conscious choice to cater to those men from the start of my escorting career, therefore only men who have actually hired me, or people who know me personally would be able to know that I am an escort.

 

What do you have to loose by escorting?

 

What do you have to gain?

 

Only you can answer those questions. Listen carefully to your answers and if the balance feels right for you, I am sure that the profession will prove to be a fulfilling one.

 

Much success and joy to you!

[Boomer]

"While there are many who want to have a famous star by their arm, some others prefer discretion and privacy. I have made the conscious choice to cater to those men from the start of my escorting career, therefore only men who have actually hired me, or people who know me personally would be able to know that I am an escort."

 

While I very much appreciate discretion and am always alarmed when an escort asks for my photo, I must say that when I see an older man with a considerably younger man I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that there is some type of financial arrangement. Particularly if the younger man is quite good-looking. In most cases, when I have the opportunity to learn more, I find that my assumptions are correct. But of course there's always the exception to the rule.

[Guest alanm]

I Agree

 

 

While I very much appreciate discretion and am always alarmed when an escort asks for my photo, I must say that when I see an older man with a considerably younger man I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that there is some type of financial arrangement. Particularly if the younger man is quite good-looking. In most cases, when I have the opportunity to learn more, I find that my assumptions are correct. But of course there's always the exception to the rule.

 

I had the same reaction when I read Juan's post several hours ago. And I am not a particularly curious person who is looking for escort/ client or sugar daddy relationships.

[SteveStacks]

Life is complicated

 

I've been away and preoccupied with school work for the last little while and haven't spent much time in the forum, but now I have some free time over the summer and can get back in the swing of things, I'm having the chance to catch up again......and as always, I'm impressed with both Anton and Juan's posts.

I share Anton's pleasure at having the opportunity to interact with a wide range of professionals from different backgrounds, and I think Juan is very correct in his assessment of what escorts gain or lose. It does very much depend on the guy.

 

It's an interesting question, but it's kind of like asking what do lawyers, dentists or businessmen gain or lose.... statistically, a huge percentage of romantic relationships don't survive one of the partners going through law school...but that doesn't mean that no attorney's relationship will survive law school....dentists are statistically at a high risk of suicide, but that doesn't mean all dentists will kill themselves.

 

Regardless of the field, the real problem arises when you have an individual who isn't well equipped to be doing the work they are doing (for example as a "math-aphobe" i would be MISERABLE as an accountant) OR who are trying to get something for nothing.

If a person takes the time to do some self reflection, has the luxury of being able to afford the time, contacts and/or money for the training to get into what they realize they want to do AND are committed to working hard for what they make, rather than feeling entitled to have things placed in their lap without effort, they're likely to get a lot more out of their work then they will lose.

 

Escorting is a largely unregulated industry, and one of the few where it's particularly difficult to "separate the worker from the means of production" and for those reasons, it draws some people who figure it's easy money or who don't have better options. Those guys often have negative experiences and lose more than they gain.

 

For those of us for whom escorting is both vocation and avocation however, it's a different equation. Sure, there are risks with any job, but what we get out of doing work we love more than makes up for those.

 

Finally, I think just as it depends on the guy, it depends on the culture they are working in. The value of "social status" you mentioned in your original post is going to have more or less value depending on the extent to which social status is considered an item of value by the culture. What makes up social status is going to vary from place to place as well. In S.F. sexual experience is widely considered an indicator of high social status. In places like Salt Lake City, sexual temperance is widely seen as desirable.

[SteveStacks]

Age differences

 

"While there are many who want to have a famous star by their arm, some others prefer discretion and privacy. I have made the conscious choice to cater to those men from the start of my escorting career, therefore only men who have actually hired me, or people who know me personally would be able to know that I am an escort."

 

While I very much appreciate discretion and am always alarmed when an escort asks for my photo, I must say that when I see an older man with a considerably younger man I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that there is some type of financial arrangement. Particularly if the younger man is quite good-looking. In most cases, when I have the opportunity to learn more, I find that my assumptions are correct. But of course there's always the exception to the rule.

 

Aww, you guys have your minds in the gutter! *LOL*

Even before I started escorting, I always dated older guys.

Not for their money, but because they were smarter, more interesting to talk to, and generally better in bed....and I'm not alone in that.

 

Many young guys I know prefer older men as partners.