Prostate Problem - Resulting Questions

[+ imagooddog]

This is kind of embarrassing for me to bring up, and I have debated several weeks about doing it, but here goes.....

Its a two-parter: (1) Situation, and (2) Question/s

(1) Here is the situation. I'm in my 50's, and about 3 years ago my

brother (who is a doctor) did a PSA test for prostate cancer and it came back with a reading of 4.8 (3.0 or below should be okay). Went

to a urologist, had biopsy, it showed early stages cancer in only of the the 6 samples. Bone scans, etc did not show that it had spread, so I had the option of an operation to remove the prostate, or have

radium seed implants. I chose the seed implants (much easier, non-invasive, out-patient procedure, fewer possible side effects).

So, I am fine now, except for........

(2) Here 's the question. I have trouble at times getting an erection, even though I am horny as hell. Sometimes I can get one only to loose it in a few minutes. I am so nervous having sex with someone just thinking about this problem, and I am sure this doesn't help either. Yes, I have tried Viagra, even two 50mg tablets at once and this does not seem to do the trick (little play on words there). This is embarrassing to say the least. When hiring an escort, should I tell him about this ahead of time, or wait and see what happens, and if I do have a problem, bring it up then? Or should I just not say anything and hope he doesn't think badly of me?

For me personally, if I am with a really hot guy that turns me on I do not care if I come or not. I love to please the partner and that in itself is what I enjoy. (I have never been one to fuck or get fucked). I am able to make myself climax (though nothing comes out) when I am alone, but usually I am only partially erect.

Okay, now I have bared my soul. But I really don't know what the proper thing to do would be. I even avoided seeing an escort that posts regularly on the message center, partially because of this!

I am in my 50's, nice looking, nice guy, good shape, 5'10",150lbs, and I do not what to quit hiring escorts due to being embarrassed.

[duke37]

Man this is a subject a lot of guys should know about. Thanks suntan for bringing it up.

 

While I think I know what at least some of the guys here will say as a man getting to the age of needing regular screening I am looking forward to the responses.

 

Jeff

[taylorky]

wow bummer..but why would you care what the guy YOU are PAYING thinks.it's his job to sastify your needs;not the other way around.i can't say i know how you feel because i don't,but i don't think you owe anybody an explanation.nor do you need to be ashamed of the condition. oh congrats.for beating the cancer..i wish you a long happy life

[Guest Thunderbuns]

Are you on any medication for other reasons such as high blood presure or depression? I've heard that these can cause your type of problem and changing to a different med can cure it.

 

Thunderbuns

[Will]

Thank you Suntan, for having the courage to bring this issue up. I would guess that you are far from alone among frequenters of M4M in having prostate troubles. They go with being middle-aged, after all. However, I don't remember that anyone before you has raised the subject here. I am full of admiration and gratitude; surely the guts that it took to tell us these things will elicit some helpful responses. And those will benefit many men besides you yourself.

 

If I were in your situation, I don't know what I would do regarding escorts I don't know. Regarding escorts I do know, however, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them what's going on. They've seen it all, and they will not be troubled by your limp dick nearly as much as they would be troubled by their own limp dick. Besides, you don't have to have a hardon to have an orgasm. And there are lots of great things about sex besides that.

 

I don't know where you live, but I would be very surprised if you weren't able to find some great escorts who could cope with your problem gracefully and creatively. Now that you've even started a thread about this issue, you don't have to bring it up at all. You can just suggest that they read the "Prostate Problem" thread and leave it to their imagination.

 

Good luck, have fun -- and BRAVO!

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>When hiring an escort, should I tell him about this ahead of time,

>or wait and see what happens, and if I do have a problem, bring it

>up then? Or should I just not say anything and hope he

>doesn't think badly of me?

 

Just casually, like it's no big deal -- because it isn't -- tell him at the beginning not to be offended if you don't get hard, that it's a medical condition, and then relax and have fun. Since people are used to associating hard-ons with pleasure, be sure and give him other cues as to how you're enjoying yourself so he knows if he should keep doing what he's doing or make a change.

 

>For me personally, if I am with a really hot guy that turns

>me on I do not care if I come or not. I love to please the

>partner and that in itself is what I enjoy. (I have never

>been one to fuck or get fucked).

 

Unless the only way to please your partner is to produce an erection on demand, it sounds like you're good to go! Hard-ons are nice but only really essential if you're topping someone.

 

>I even avoided seeing

>an escort that posts regularly on the message center,

>partially because of this...I do not what to quit hiring escorts due

>to being embarrassed.

 

No escort worth his salt is going to feel you have anything to be embarrassed about. We've seen more plumbing problems than Roto-Rooter and take them in stride. Besides, this "problem" is nothing more than a byproduct of your having BEATEN a potentially deadly illness. Sounds like cause for celebrating, not shame.

 

At any rate, I've never heard of an escort with a "no clients with erectile dysfunction" policy. Not in this economy! :+

[phage]

>wow bummer..but why would you care what the guy YOU are

>PAYING thinks.it's his job to sastify your needs;not the

>other way around.

 

Taylor - I haven’t quite decided if you are for real or not. A modern day Scarlett O’Hara or just someone pulling our leg. (Can anyone really be that young?) Either way, you certainly have a cavalier attitude about how to treat the “hired help.” Many people actually think that being concerned about other’s feelings - regardless of their position or role in your life – is a basic part of being a decent human being.

 

Suntan – I understand your anxiety perfectly. Nerves often get the best of me and I sometimes have trouble – especially if I’m about to top. (Classic performance anxiety.) It’s an awkward and uncomfortable situation whether your partner is hired or not.

 

I have found that it works best for me to not discuss it ahead of time, (it just sets you up for a self-fulfilling prophecy) but if it occurs, I don’t just act like it’s not happening. I casually mention that it is not an issue for me and that it is not what the session is about anyway. I want to explore his body, or bottom for him, or whatever. That way, he knows what is going on and doesn’t get totally focussed on getting you hard. Some guys can take it as a personal challenge and will lose sight of everything else if you don’t tell them that you want to focus on something else.

 

Good luck. Yes, it’s awkward, but never forget that these guys have seen it all and can take it in stride.

[+ glutes]

Again, thanks for addressing this issue Suntan. I have no advice either, other than to say that YOU are the customer! Rentboys see and hear alot of stuff, your problem is a minimal one. Go enjoy them and yourself!

[+ imagooddog]

Nope, not on any medication at all. Just take a vitamin each day.

By the way, any guy out there that has a history of prostate cancer in his family should get yearly PSA tests done. My grandfather, my father and several uncles on my fathers side all had prostate cancer.

But it is one of the most curable cancers if caught early.:-)

[OneFinger]

>By the way, any guy out there that has a history of prostate cancer in his family should get yearly PSA tests done. My grandfather, my father and several uncles on my fathers side all had prostate cancer. But it is one of the most curable cancers if caught early.:-)

 

This is the best suggestion anyone can give. My father and all of his 5 brothers had prostate cancer. All my older male cousins have it and I have been getting myself checked since I was 30 years old. In addition to the PSA blood test, I get a yearly "finger" exam. (Just an added pleasure for a bottom like me!! :7 )

 

It's very treatable when caught early and doesn't always require invasive surgery.

 

As for the "woody" problem, I agree with most of the other posters. I don't think a reputable escort would care. In fact, I know guys who have a fetish for sucking soft cocks. They love the feel of being able to take the whole thing in their mouth without gaging or choaking. For them, a hard cock isn't as desirable as a soft one. :9

 

Happy hunting and I sure love an update if you wouldn't mind sharing. ;-)

[Rick Munroe]

>This is embarrassing to say the least. When hiring an

>escort, should I tell him about this ahead of time, or wait

>and see what happens, and if I do have a problem, bring it

>up then? Or should I just not say anything and hope he

>doesn't think badly of me?

 

It really shouldn't be embarrassing. Anyone can have trouble getting an erection at any time (try being with a guy who's been partying!), and whether your sex partner is an escort or not, you should definitely let him know in advance; that will totally take the pressure off of you. When I've been with guys who couldn't get it up, I just made a joke about it and usually they relaxed and got over their frustration/embarrassment. (Well, I have a habit of making a joke about everything & anything but that's my style ) Any escort that would think badly of you for any reason (other than your being rude or unclean) shouldn't be escorting. Period.

 

>For me personally, if I am with a really hot guy that turns

>me on I do not care if I come or not. I love to please the

>partner and that in itself is what I enjoy.

 

I feel the same way, suntan, and I think you just solved your problem. What guy doesn't love to be pleased & serviced? Even bottoms love to get blown and massaged and rimmed and...you get the picture. Tell the escort that your dick is not the main attraction. I guarantee you'll be a hit. :*

[buttnovice]

Hey Sunny. . . . thanks so much for your courageous post. Please be confident in sharing it with us in this forum, you will gain much support and hopefully clear and accurate information. You have my encouragement and support and I'm sure the same from all those who post above me and below me. I will monitor this forum to learn, file and nopefully never have to make use of the wisdom that we share. We're not all about the prettiest rentboy. Most of us care about our fellow man. I wish you God's speed and a rich lifetime of health and empty wallets. <G>

[Guest Merlin]

I have hired a number of young escorts who had trouble getting hard. And I am sure every escort has had numerous clients who didn't get hard. I dont think you need to explain anything or be embarrassed about it.

[+ imagooddog]

Oh man, all of you guys are GREAT!! I never expected such a response and such support and encouragement. I am really moved by it. My faith in my fellow man is renewed. Thanks, thanks, thanks !!:-)