Adventures in not geting laid

[Zapped]

Saturday I really felt like getting laid. I live about an hour from a (relatively) big city. Surfed the chat room on gay.com, no luck. Posted an ad on CL, no response.

 

Really in the mood for a twink, I found a very cute-looking young guy on men4rent with a fairly new ad. Emailed through the site and no response; called and the voicemail box was full.

 

Looked at the ads on CL and didn't see anyone who looked like a good match, and the masseur who looked so hot in his ad turned out to be a scam (see the thread in the Deli).

 

Thought about going to the baths but wasn't really in the mood and ended up staying in.

 

Monday I see two email messages on the account I use for CL responses and emailing escorts, etc. One's from a "straight" guy who likes getting blow jobs and works in the small town where I live. He sounded quite eager to come over, but his stats didn't interest me, and I really don't want guys stopping over for a blow job with my next-door neighbor wondering who's visiting.

 

The other is from a very cute-looking twink, who if he were an escort I would be happy to pay for (at least based on the photo he sent). He's a freshman at the college in my town (in his email he wrote "I'm a student at ...). At which, unfortunately for my chances of fulfilling my have-sex-with-a-hot-twink-and-for-free-on-top-of-it fantasy, I teach. It's a small college in a small town. Argh! Tempting, but no way I'm going to put my job at risk.

 

Said twink, who evidently posted his own ad a couple weeks before on CL, identifying his college, proclaiming his horniness, and including a dick pic, responded to my CL ad using his real name (or at least the name of an actual student listed in the student directory, which anyone can search online).

 

So I did do a good deed and wrote him back and suggested he start using an anonymous account for these endeavors. Maybe we should start offering a session on "preserving your privacy while searching for sex online" during orientation week.

 

Sigh.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

My first escort was a lifeguard at a university recreation center. He was so cute and sweet. He was 19, a lifeguard and studied hard. He is retired now. I am happy for him. Oh I forgot what I was about to say.. hmm I don't think you will get in a trouble as long as that kid is not one of your students. There is something else oh well it will come back to me..

 

Saturday I really felt like getting laid. I live about an hour from a (relatively) big city. Surfed the chat room on gay.com, no luck. Posted an ad on CL, no response.

 

Really in the mood for a twink, I found a very cute-looking young guy on men4rent with a fairly new ad. Emailed through the site and no response; called and the voicemail box was full.

 

Looked at the ads on CL and didn't see anyone who looked like a good match, and the masseur who looked so hot in his ad turned out to be a scam (see the thread in the Deli).

 

Thought about going to the baths but wasn't really in the mood and ended up staying in.

 

Monday I see two email messages on the account I use for CL responses and emailing escorts, etc. One's from a "straight" guy who likes getting blow jobs and works in the small town where I live. He sounded quite eager to come over, but his stats didn't interest me, and I really don't want guys stopping over for a blow job with my next-door neighbor wondering who's visiting.

 

The other is from a very cute-looking twink, who if he were an escort I would be happy to pay for (at least based on the photo he sent). He's a freshman at the college in my town (in his email he wrote "I'm a student at ...). At which, unfortunately for my chances of fulfilling my have-sex-with-a-hot-twink-and-for-free-on-top-of-it fantasy, I teach. It's a small college in a small town. Argh! Tempting, but no way I'm going to put my job at risk.

 

Said twink, who evidently posted his own ad a couple weeks before on CL, identifying his college, proclaiming his horniness, and including a dick pic, responded to my CL ad using his real name (or at least the name of an actual student listed in the student directory, which anyone can search online).

 

So I did do a good deed and wrote him back and suggested he start using an anonymous account for these endeavors. Maybe we should start offering a session on "preserving your privacy while searching for sex online" during orientation week.

 

Sigh.

[+ Charlie]

When I was a college student--long before the invention of the Internet, or the personal computer, for that matter--I responded to a Senator Larry Craig-type foot maneuver in the college library men's room, and discovered one of my professors on the other side of the partition. I don't know which of us was more shocked. I was totally unattracted to him, but too young and inexperienced to know how to handle it, so I agreed to go back to his home for some very psychologically uncomfortable sex. When I became a professor myself, I determined never to put myself in a similar situation.

 

Students today may be more sophisticated about both sex and technology, but they still make foolish mistakes. Personal information is much more public now than it has ever been, and your suggestion of an orientation session on the value of protecting your privacy is a a good one. He might think twice if he realized those CL posts may be available to future employers or others who could use them to damage his reputation.

 

By the way, I got an A in the course.

[Zapped]

The consensual relations policy at my college was revised some years ago. It used to be that it a student wasn't someone you had any professional relationship with (i.e., not your own student, or an advisee, or someone you coached on a team, etc.) there was no restriction. Now any consensual relations are strongly discouraged regardless of the absence of a direct professional (i.e., imbalance of power) relationship. If the student--no matter how fully he or she may have consented to begin with--ends up complaining, then your job is at risk. And of course an affair with a student, if it became public knowledge, would be a killer for any sort of appointment to an administrative position.

 

I did enjoy jerking off to my fantasy of having sex with the student who emailed me!

[Lookin]

When I was a college student--long before the invention of the Internet, or the personal computer, for that matter--I responded to a Senator Larry Craig-type foot maneuver in the college library men's room, and discovered one of my professors on the other side of the partition. I don't know which of us was more shocked. I was totally unattracted to him, but too young and inexperienced to know how to handle it, so I agreed to go back to his home for some very psychologically uncomfortable sex. When I became a professor myself, I determined never to put myself in a similar situation.

 

Students today may be more sophisticated about both sex and technology, but they still make foolish mistakes. Personal information is much more public now than it has ever been, and your suggestion of an orientation session on the value of protecting your privacy is a a good one. He might think twice if he realized those CL posts may be available to future employers or others who could use them to damage his reputation.

 

By the way, I got an A in the course.

 

Charlie, I sometimes feel you and I were separated at birth. My Larry Craig moment occured my freshman year at an East coast university library, and the guy on the other side peeked under the partition to see who it was he had just done. I got spooked, and hightailed it back to my dorm room. Five minutes later the hall phone rings and it's for me. My Library Lothario had read my name and phone number from a notebook on the floor, and called to reassure me I had nothing to worry about. Very nice guy, but it still rattled me.

 

Fast forward seven years and I'm in the financial aid office of a West coast university looking for a gig as a Resident Assistant in a fraternity house. Guess who's across the desk with the keys to the kingdom?

 

And yes, I got the job, and a nice dinner invitation to boot. Didn't even have to put out. :o

[Guest greatness]

well

 

I had a similar experience... I had to teach a course for three years at a college and I accidentally hired a student majoring in my field. Before my first class, I had to check the student list to see whether his name was on it. Fortunately, he didn't enroll in my class. It would have been very weird if that had been the case. We passed by each other on the campus from time to time but nothing happened. It was a nerve breaking experience though.

 

The consensual relations policy at my college was revised some years ago. It used to be that it a student wasn't someone you had any professional relationship with (i.e., not your own student, or an advisee, or someone you coached on a team, etc.) there was no restriction. Now any consensual relations are strongly discouraged regardless of the absence of a direct professional (i.e., imbalance of power) relationship. If the student--no matter how fully he or she may have consented to begin with--ends up complaining, then your job is at risk. And of course an affair with a student, if it became public knowledge, would be a killer for any sort of appointment to an administrative position.

 

I did enjoy jerking off to my fantasy of having sex with the student who emailed me!

[Zapped]

I had a similar experience... I had to teach a course for three years at a college and I accidentally hired a student majoring in my field. Before my first class, I had to check the student list to see whether his name was on it. Fortunately, he didn't enroll in my class. It would have been very weird if that had been the case. We passed by each other on the campus from time to time but nothing happened. It was a nerve breaking experience though.

 

Greatness, you hired a major in your field as an escort? Did you go through with the appointment? That would have been weird.

 

In my case, the kid who emailed me just seems to be desperate to get laid; he's not looking for escort work. He was responding to my looking-to-hookup ad on CL. He's cute enough that I would hire him if he were both 1) for rent and 2) not a student.

 

Actually, he could probably make some nice extra cash in this small town if he wanted to work a bit. That would be ironic--can't find someone to have sex with you for free, but if you start charging . . . . There are several middle-aged guys I know, not on the faculty, who really want to suck a nice dick.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

It wasn't weird at all. I hired him about 10 different times. He is a good person.

 

 

Greatness, you hired a major in your field as an escort? Did you go through with the appointment? That would have been weird.

[Zapped]

It wasn't weird at all. I hired him about 10 different times. He is a good person.

 

Oh, you'd said above it was nerve breaking. I think I understand now. What I'm surmising is that when you were hiring him you didn't know he was a major in your field, and then when you realized that, it became nerve-breaking.

 

When I said it must have been weird, I was thinking you hired a guy from an ad, he showed up, and you recognized him as a student in your department. If that happened to me, it would be weird. But also hot in a way. Wonder if I'd go through with it. Or if he would. I'll just have to cross that bridge if it ever comes.

[Guest greatness]

You are correct!

 

Sorry I should have elaborated....

 

Oh, you'd said above it was nerve breaking. I think I understand now. What I'm surmising is that when you were hiring him you didn't know he was a major in your field, and then when you realized that, it became nerve-breaking.

 

When I said it must have been weird, I was thinking you hired a guy from an ad, he showed up, and you recognized him as a student in your department. If that happened to me, it would be weird. But also hot in a way. Wonder if I'd go through with it. Or if he would. I'll just have to cross that bridge if it ever comes.