Meeting gay guys at the gym?

[Guest RianB]

I have been going to the same gym for a year now (1 of them just closed, but I been going to another location for the past 2 months) and have yet to meet anyone out of it! Its not a gay gym, its an everybody's gym. People always say, "join a club to meet friends/singles" and yet everytime I go they are either wearing headphones or too into their workout to have a conversation. And if a conversation does take place its barely small talk, and they hop onto the next piece of equipment.

 

Now, I did not join the gym to meet guys, or cruise the locker rooms LOL...but many times I see cute guys there and want to say something. Sometimes I do, but it just seems to go nowhere except for, "are you using that?". And then what is there really to talk about? I cant seem to think of anything to say to someone who happens to be near me at the gym. What am I supposed to say, "I like your body, you look good?" And like I said, 99.9% of the people at gyms have headphones on and cant hear if you do say something.

 

Im starting to think I should just continue going to the gym wearing my headphones too and 'zoning out' even though cute (and probably married) guys walk past me all the time. Its a bit harder though when you dont always know if they are straight or not, Guys 'stare' at me all the time but its hard to tell if they are staring just to stare or if they want to speak or what. Im actually pretty good at starting up conversations, like If Im in the nightclub and someone stares, its alot easier to tell whats going on, but in a gym its not so easy. And nightclubs are boring me now!

 

And to top it off, Im not even a huge guy, but at 6'2, 180 I rarely ever get approached at the gym which means I'd always have to do all the work. I dont mind, but still...you never know. I've had times I struck up conversations and they turn out to be straight and married, or not speak the same language, how embarrassing LOL. I seem to pick out all the straight guys in public places...Has anyone met anyone in the gym? Do I have to go to gay gyms to meet similar guys?

[dcguy20]

Rian, I'm sorry I don't know what city you're in. I used to live in NYC and now DC, and although I'm shy by nature, I never really had problems talking to guys at the gyms in either city. I can't say I ever dated any one I met there, but I made some very good friends (moreso in NYC than DC). The gay guys in DC are a totally different animal, and believe it or not, I found the guys in NYC to be nicer. It seems to me that the gay community in DC is a bit more cliquey, and I just don't have the patience for it.

 

You make a very interesting point about people being plugged in, which makes it even more difficult to approach them. I think it's the sign of the times. How many times do I walk around and people don't make eye contact, are listening to their iPods, talking on their cellphones, etc. People just don't seem to be aware of others (if that makes any sense). I don't know what else to say to make your situation easier.

 

Good luck.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

I go to a hospital wellness center to work out after work. People there are mostly over 50 years old and rehabilitating patients who barely walk and/or carry an oxygen tank. However, once in a while there are a couple of hot guys who come late at night. Since hot guys are so few they seem to notice each other easily and hang out. I get distracted a lot by those hot guys. They are so dreamy.

 

I have been going to the same gym for a year now (1 of them just closed, but I been going to another location for the past 2 months) and have yet to meet anyone out of it! Its not a gay gym, its an everybody's gym. People always say, "join a club to meet friends/singles" and yet everytime I go they are either wearing headphones or too into their workout to have a conversation. And if a conversation does take place its barely small talk, and they hop onto the next piece of equipment.

 

Now, I did not join the gym to meet guys, or cruise the locker rooms LOL...but many times I see cute guys there and want to say something. Sometimes I do, but it just seems to go nowhere except for, "are you using that?". And then what is there really to talk about? I cant seem to think of anything to say to someone who happens to be near me at the gym. What am I supposed to say, "I like your body, you look good?" And like I said, 99.9% of the people at gyms have headphones on and cant hear if you do say something.

 

Im starting to think I should just continue going to the gym wearing my headphones too and 'zoning out' even though cute (and probably married) guys walk past me all the time. Its a bit harder though when you dont always know if they are straight or not, Guys 'stare' at me all the time but its hard to tell if they are staring just to stare or if they want to speak or what. Im actually pretty good at starting up conversations, like If Im in the nightclub and someone stares, its alot easier to tell whats going on, but in a gym its not so easy. And nightclubs are boring me now!

 

And to top it off, Im not even a huge guy, but at 6'2, 180 I rarely ever get approached at the gym which means I'd always have to do all the work. I dont mind, but still...you never know. I've had times I struck up conversations and they turn out to be straight and married, or not speak the same language, how embarrassing LOL. I seem to pick out all the straight guys in public places...Has anyone met anyone in the gym? Do I have to go to gay gyms to meet similar guys?

[+ purplekow]

You mention that you dont have trouble meeting people at a bar. Many gyms have fruit or protein drink bars. I have met people or at least had a bit of a conversation by hanging at that bar before or after a work out. After that, I make sure that I always smile and say hello when I see those people again. If some one is interested after a few smiles and hellos, I am sure someone as attractive as you will have no problems having a nodding acquaintance which is a good place to start.

[Epigonos]

Rian,

 

I have spent more than my share of hours in various gyms during my life. I have been fortunate to meet many guys there who have become good friends. During those long gym hours I have observed a number of things about gym rats in general and about the way to meet them:

 

1. By the very nature of the activity guys who workout long and hard are naturally SELF ABSORBED. They are there to build their own bodies and therefore they spend a huge amount of time looking at themselves in the mirrors. For most gym rats their own reflection in the mirrors is their reality.

2. In order to make contact with other gym rats you need to attend on a VERY regular basis and at the SAME time. Once other members realize that you are a regular and serious they are much more open.

3. Once your routine has become established and you have achieved a degree of credibility ask a guy who interests you to give you for a spot. This is usually a very acceptable approach.

4. As a general rule DO NOT attempt to make contact with a gym rat is the showers. They are there, in most cases, to clean up and get the hell out. Their workout is over and they want to move on.

 

I sincerely hope these ideas help and that, in the future, you become acquainted with lots of cute, sexy fellow gym rats.

[+ Lucky]

Rian, you may be too hot for people to feel that you are approachable. It's a burden, I know, but you will have to do the work as others just cannot get up the gumption to risk the almost certain rejection they feel is in store for them. Perhaps you should join greatness at the Good Samaritan gym!

[jackcali]

What are you trying to accomplish?

 

Rian, what's your goal here? Is it to make contact with other guys in the gym so that there are friendly faces when you work out? Are you trying to make friends with them or hook up with them? Why not be open to all, and just say hello or chat when the mood strikes you. It doesn't matter if the guy is straight or married, at least you've got someone at the gym you can smile at and and who'll smile back at you or who you can shoot the breeze with one day. It doesn't have to go anywhere, does it? (Of course, just because the guy is married doesn't mean it won't, but you know what I'm saying.)

 

I've got a bunch of friends from the gym where I've been working out for two years. I have never met any of them outside the gym, but in the gym we chat about current events, about our workouts, about the trainers, about whatever gossip is circulating in the gym, etc. We congratulate one another on progress and provide some emotional support when we fall back. It's a good feeling to be part of the group, even if the connection is very loose.

 

It's got nothing to do with hooking up, and I've never seen that happen in my gym (no, I'm not being naive, it's just too small for anyone to pull it off), but then again, I'm an old guy who's not looking for that . . . there. That same camaraderie would easily, for guys on the hunt, support that kind of connection.

 

So just be friendly, say a kind word once in a while, don't push it or be impatient, and after a while I bet some guys will come around and open up.

[jasoncarter_dfw]

I'm that guy with the headphones...I show up at 24 hr, do my routine, and go home. I don't go to the gym to socialize or chit chat...I go to exercise. Even when I do run into people I know, it's just a quick hello and the phones go back in my ears.

 

 

I have been going to the same gym for a year now (1 of them just closed, but I been going to another location for the past 2 months) and have yet to meet anyone out of it! Its not a gay gym, its an everybody's gym. People always say, "join a club to meet friends/singles" and yet everytime I go they are either wearing headphones or too into their workout to have a conversation. And if a conversation does take place its barely small talk, and they hop onto the next piece of equipment.

 

Now, I did not join the gym to meet guys, or cruise the locker rooms LOL...but many times I see cute guys there and want to say something. Sometimes I do, but it just seems to go nowhere except for, "are you using that?". And then what is there really to talk about? I cant seem to think of anything to say to someone who happens to be near me at the gym. What am I supposed to say, "I like your body, you look good?" And like I said, 99.9% of the people at gyms have headphones on and cant hear if you do say something.

 

Im starting to think I should just continue going to the gym wearing my headphones too and 'zoning out' even though cute (and probably married) guys walk past me all the time. Its a bit harder though when you dont always know if they are straight or not, Guys 'stare' at me all the time but its hard to tell if they are staring just to stare or if they want to speak or what. Im actually pretty good at starting up conversations, like If Im in the nightclub and someone stares, its alot easier to tell whats going on, but in a gym its not so easy. And nightclubs are boring me now!

 

And to top it off, Im not even a huge guy, but at 6'2, 180 I rarely ever get approached at the gym which means I'd always have to do all the work. I dont mind, but still...you never know. I've had times I struck up conversations and they turn out to be straight and married, or not speak the same language, how embarrassing LOL. I seem to pick out all the straight guys in public places...Has anyone met anyone in the gym? Do I have to go to gay gyms to meet similar guys?

[Bart]

Rian if you do meet someone or decide to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym please dont do it on the equipment. Nothing I hate more at the gym than two or three people shooting the shit on a piece of equipment and damn if it isn't the one i am trying to get on. Probably my number one iritant at the gym.

[buckguy]

Meeting guys at the gym

 

I think it depends a lot on the city and the gym. I haven't found DC particularly unfriendly, although I use public facilities in DC and Montgomery County, which may be part of it. In Atlanta, my gay-friendly upscale gym (one of the few with a pool) was extremely unfriendly and very much infused with the "6 or 7 who thinks he's a 10, looking for a 12" mentality that's fairly common in Atlanta. OTOH, the gym went through cycles of time where it was fairly easy to find some action in the steam room, but then Atlanta seems to be a place with a lot of both posing and pathetic desperation.

[Guest RianB]

Thanks for the compliments

 

Rian if you do meet someone or decide to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym please dont do it on the equipment.

 

No, I'd never do that. If they are already engaged on the equipment I wouldnt want to disturb them. Thats a saftey hazard LOL. And yes, sometimes I have to cut right into a conversation to ask, "are y'all using that?" 99% of the time they arent.

 

It doesn't matter if the guy is straight or married, at least you've got someone at the gym you can smile at and and who'll smile back at you or who you can shoot the breeze with one day. It doesn't have to go anywhere, does it? (Of course, just because the guy is married doesn't mean it won't, but you know what I'm saying.

 

Well, I wouldnt say all straight and married men arent interested but rather they may also have kids and a wife to go home to and not looking to meet anyone from the gym like that. It also seems that all the guys at the gym I go to are older...upper 20s and 30s type. The gym I go to is Ballys just to let everyone know.

 

You mention that you dont have trouble meeting people at a bar. Many gyms have fruit or protein drink bars. I have met people or at least had a bit of a conversation by hanging at that bar before or after a work out.

 

Great idea. Only drawback is alot of times the sales guy will insist I take one of their protien shakes or something, and I bring my own drink to the gym its overpriced.

 

Rian, I'm sorry I don't know what city you're in.

 

You make a very interesting point about people being plugged in, which makes it even more difficult to approach them. I think it's the sign of the times. How many times do I walk around and people don't make eye contact, are listening to their iPods, talking on their cellphones, etc. People just don't seem to be aware of others (if that makes any sense). I don't know what else to say to make your situation easier.

 

Good luck.

 

Im in Dallas. In case you didnt know, its best known for people being 'cliquey'. I been here for a year and still havent gotten used to it. But then again its true alot of places, with being plugged in. But at the same time you never meet anyone new like that. Its embarrassing when you say something to someone wearing headphones, you basically have to raise your voice or risk being ignored.

 

I'm that guy with the headphones...I show up at 24 hr, do my routine, and go home. I don't go to the gym to socialize or chit chat...I go to exercise. Even when I do run into people I know, it's just a quick hello and the phones go back in my ears.

 

You're the type of guy I'd recognize, lift up the headphones and say, "hey I never seen you here before!" LOL.

 

I hope this doesnt come off offensive to any Dallas residents, but unfortunently this is common behavior torwards strangers here. Very nonchalant, indifferent attitude. And if you're of a different race than they are, multiply it by 2. I've heard it from every out-of-towner who lives here. Which has alot to do of why I have yet to make a descent friend after living here for a year. I meet up with people here all the time, but they are so entrenched in their cliques that they put forth minimal effort to include anyone else in their circle. At this point I can care less cause Im moving anyway

 

 

I think it depends a lot on the city and the gym.

 

Ditto.

 

The way I see it, even if I dont go to the gym to have conversations with everyone, there could be someone there have something in common. If nobody ever speaks to anyone, you'll never know. What fun is that? I just cannot leave a crowded room I visit day after day having not met anyone. I'd feel empty afterwards.

[Guest RianB]

As an update to this, I wasnt feeling like working out today but I said fuck it, and went anyway. Ended up clicking with 2 new people. One is a guy I always seen at the other gym, another was a girl I just happened to be working out right next to. Now I have a new workout buddy. Thanks for the suggestions everyone!